3 Years Later

It's easier to deal with yourself.

You just need to worry about yourself and you'd be fine! Less food to worry about, less bodies to care about, less stress really. I mean, who else can you trust but yourself? This world starts and ends with you so why should you spend it worrying about someone else?

Why not just stick to yourself?

Then again, the only set back is this strange sense of loneliness. Isolation. Coldness.

As I lay next to the pile of furniture and what not, I couldn't help but feel the familiar clench of such emotions.

I felt at home being by myself. In my own little corner of the world. Stuck in darkness and watching the shadows dance and play to pass the time. Yet, at the same time, a clawed hand clenched at my insides. This time it wasn't as vicious as before. This one felt like ice, creeping in and causing shivers up and down my back. It was slow yet it felt almost deadlier.

I gulped, a deep sigh welling in my c.h.e.s.t, when I noticed the shadows down the hall begin to flicker. My eyes shot up, a hand already gripping the nearest object to me, when a familiar voice called out.

"Shaina?" Jake called out, his footsteps getting closer.

I cringed, I didn't mean to. Something about hear my name being repeated more times than the past 2 years in the span of 2 days felt unnerving to me. I had to bite back the feeling as Jake drew closer, his boots thump-thumping on the carpeted floor.

He just found a spot next to the wall and slumped against it. Wrapping his arms around his knees tightly and pressing his forehead against the tops of them.

"Memories hitting you hard too?" I questioned drawing a chuckle from him.

"Hurts like a god damn bitch too." His spilled, the bite in his tone back as I watched one of his hands retreat to, most probably, scratch at his beard.

I responded to the gesture by letting my hand wander my own face, finger nails picking and prodding at the numerous bumps and scabs I left there.

Silence hung between us with only the feint buzzing of the lights filling in the gaps. One green eye peered at me before he leaned back against the wall and let out another deep chuckle. This time, it was almost as cold as I felt right now.

"Y'know, I envy you." He confessed. His eyes shut tight but kept his head pointed upwards. I just raised a brow waiting for him to continue.

After a few minutes of silence, he spoke again. Gulping once, then twice, then sighing out his words.

"It must be so easy to just.... forget everything. The past and all that shit. To stare at their faces and

not want to kill them sounds like a luxury."

I could only shrug as I propped myself up. Scooting my back towards the other end of the tiny hallway so I could be facing him.

"I mean... You can say that but at least you have a sense of what used to be and what was."

"You say that like it's a good thing." he snorted causing me to roll my eyes.

"Maybe it is? I mean," I said as I begun to dig a bit harder into my skin, "It kinda makes me worried for just how much I forgot. And certainly a part of me remembers else it wouldn't hurt as much...."

I looked back up at him and saw a worried look, his eyes seemingly daring across my face causing me to look at the ground and sigh.

"I mean, if anything at least you don't get killer headaches right?"

Jake let out a deep sigh. A hand tugging and scratching his beard before he stuck his hand in his jacket. Groping around only to pull that flask again.

This time I took his offer. Grimacing over the taste and the burn as he seemingly downed it without any set backs.

"When do you think we should head back?" I found myself speaking causing him to raise one bushy brow.

"Hm?"

"You know, back to base. I mean... it's great being here and all but I don't know about you, but I'd like to at least bring some of my shit here if we plan on staying here longer."

He frowned, perhaps just suddenly realizing what I was suggesting, as the tugging on his beard grew a bit more rough.

"Do... Do we have to stay here?"

I blinked and pondered his question. Technically no. We don't need to. Well, specifically I don't need to. I wasn't too sure where Jake would stay with. I mean, logically strength in numbers could be a better way to play. Especially since this group seemingly thrives on the entire mall being their resource.

As oppose to staying with me. Constantly moving about, always trying to hide. Steal food. Always without food. Always without shelter. Even now, I know that I'd probably leave town soon enough to cycle through.

yet despite this. He still wants to stay with me.

I just gave a lopsided smile and shook my head. The sigh of relief caused a fit of giggles to course through me as I playfully kicked him.

"Glad to have you here man."

"Glad to be here." He responded, soon standing up and stretching.

"Let's go talk to Joseph tomorrow, thank him for the help and all that. I need some sleep."

I nodded as he began to make his way down the hall. Just as he turned the corner, he paused. His face just barely being illuminated as he called something out.

"Night Shai."

"Don't call me that."