3 Years Later

Morning came in silent drawls as the light chirps of left over birds seeped through the gaps in the windows. The fire long gone leaving the gentle c.a.r.e.s.s of the early morning cold to keep me company.

In times like these, it's easy to forget the outside world. It's like if I can just blur the gentle rays of morning light that I could remember what it's like before the world went to shit. Sitting on my bed and reveling in the moment.

I don't mind taking the last watch. Watching as night bled into day was almost ther.a.p.eutic in the sense of allowing myself slip away. Dissociating from the current and reliving a state of suspended past.

With a sigh, I eased my stance and swing my bat around my shoulders. Having found no need to be on such high guard. Instead, I began to explore the tiny apartment we holed up in. Shifting the debris to the side as I explored.

Just like the main room we were in, there wasn't much left. A cracked counter, a broken window, torn wires and busted in doors. Whatever wood that was left was put against most exit spots. The bed stripped of anything but the frame which, in itself, was missing pieces.

Ransacked. I think during the start of year one, everyone looted like crazy. I remembered the stories of the survivors and how they would have to fend off more living than dead. Armed to the teeth and with determination, both sides left many houses wrecked.

My fingers traced the walls as I trudged along. A part of me wondering what sort of memories laid here in this place. Memories abandoned and left to rot away.

"Just Like You."

I frowned. The voice hasn't left me. Hell, maybe it was always there. I kept my lips tightly sealed, trying to will the sound away. Sooner or later itll fade.

"God," I croaked for the first time in what seemed like ages, my hand grabbing at my throat in discomfort, "I must really be losing it…"

After a period of silence, it came back.

"What If You Are?"

I chuckled, my legs finally buckling to move. Lazily shrugging as I stared off into the quiet bouts of darkness in the room. It felt like I was staring at that voice but I know that there was nothing there for me. Yet, I answered anyway.

"I'd end it before I reach that point."

"You Could Do More. Be More."

The way it pressed on caused my lips to pursed. My hand coming back up to scratch at the bits and pieces of uneven flesh. Without realizing it, I began to dig past skin. Barely registering the way warm blood felt as it trailed down my face.

This wasn't good. The way the voice was almost taunting me, tempting me, about something. But what that something is is just something that I do not know. But even as I tell myself this, tell myself that this fragment of my dissociation was trying to get a rise out of nothing, I still felt like something was off. Perhaps it's something that I won't be able to know for now.

With a gulp, I shoveled the uneasy feeling welling at my throat downwards. Forcing myself to continue my trudge around the apartment. Hoping that by dipping myself into a sense of curiosity that it'll cause the voice to go away.

"What Are You Searching For?"

I didn't answer. I couldn't. A familiar throbbing welled at the back of my head as I began to rustle through what little furniture was left here. The barely standing tv cabinet, the peeling wood of the dinning room table, f.u.c.k- even the marble counter of the bathroom. Instead of my flesh, it was furniture that I began to rake my nails over.

"Who Are You Looking For?"

"No one!" I hissed out as my hand grabbed the handle of a drawer. In a quick moment of anger, I flicked my wrist back and watched as the cracked wood flew out of its place. Shock soon turned into fear as I saw the wood smash itself into the back wall resulting in a heavy 'BANG'. Splinters embedding themselves into the surrounding area.

How did I do that? I shouldn't have the strength to do that? How the f.u.c.k did I do that?!

"You've Always Had It In You. You Just Didn't Know It." The voice smirked from the shadows in front of me. The voice crisp and clearer than I ever heard it before.

"What… What are you?"

"Shaina?"

Startled, I turned around and saw a figure stagger out from where we were sleeping. Toffee colored hair a disheveled mess as he yawned. Still half-asleep by the time he rounded the corner to face me. As his eyes trailed up, I saw something change within his expression. It was hard to pin-point what emotion it was but I knew it was rooted deep in worry. What was once half lidded was now wide eyes as he hurried towards me. His hands coming up to grab my face to check it over.

"Did… Did you do this to yourself?" Jake asked in an airy breath. Perhaps unsure whether I was standing there or not. As his hand came up to show me, I couldn't help but gasp in surprise. His palm now that stark, saturated red having come from the flesh I gouged.

"I uh-" "F.u.c.k it never mind, come on."

He grabbed my hand and led me towards where the kitchen was, only once stopping to stare at the broken drawer, and practically shoved me against the wall. Hurriedly walking to where we put our bags as he shoveled through pockets and zippers.

" What the f.u.c.k did you do?" He asked, more so to himself if anything, as he turned back with some bandages and clothes. Soon holding me against the wall as he fixed up the mess on my temples and what not.

I stayed quiet as I let him do what he wanted. In fact, all I could still think about was that f.u.c.k.i.n.g drawer. The thing practically disintegrated once it hit the wall making me wonder just how hard I threw it. By the time I realized he stopped doing what he was doing, he was already looking where I was staring.

Jake licked his chapped lips, I eyed the cracks and dried blood that came from it, before dark green eyes looked down at me.

"I… I don't know what's going on." I found myself whispering. It felt forgien, the strange way I said that sentence. It took me a while to pin what threw me off about it but eventually I realized just how scared and small my voice seemed. It was then that I noticed just how much I was shaking and how I was jittering about.

His lips pursed before the sound of someone coughing reminded us of the other members of our group. Jake silent looked at me before quickly running over to the drawer and… Began to pick up the pieces?

By now I noticed just how heavy my breathing became. Ragged and almost on the cusp of a sob. With shaky legs I wobbled to Jake as he pulled the embedded pieces out and into a neat pile. Gesturing for me to come down and help him.

I don't know if it was because I wanted to help or because of just how out of it that made me flop onto my knees. Trying to ease my nerves focusing on the task at hand.

"Alright who the f.u.c.k-What are you guys f.u.c.k.i.n.g doing?" A deep base tone came from behind us making me jump in surprise. Before I could turn around, the man beside me already began making up this story. Something about how we wanted to see what was in this locked drawer.

"So you decided to f.u.c.k.i.n.g obliterate it?" Nick sighed as he knelt next to us. I felt his gaze sweep across me before his hand came into view. Large in nature, it sifted about in the broken splinters before he retrieved a single recognizable item.

It was single rectangular grey box. On the front was a small screen and on the sides were some dials. I watched as Nick raised a pierced brow at the object, soon fiddling with a switch before sighing and tossing it towards us.

"It's dead." He said shortly, sauntering over to the room we slept in leaving me and Jake to look over the radio.

"You think we could fix it?"

Nick only let out a court laugh as he waved a hand, perhaps dismissing the thought. Jake turned to me with a purse on his lips and two bushy eyebrows scrunched up. After a long moment of staring at me, he finally sighed and placed the object in my hand. Leaning close to me as he did.

"We'll talk about this later. Let's get going." He whispered before pulling away. Going off to probably help pack up leaving me breathless.

My gaze shifted down to the small object in a bit of a shock. Unsure how I felt about Jake's words and what they meant but I shook my head. Pocketing the item and following suit.

No use in trying to deal with this now.