A Cheat's Survival Journal

"I spent most of my day trying to find a specific community and the fruits of my labor has gone unrewarded! I just want the chance to give Rick the damn grenade, how hard is that? Well it's not like I don't know this city well and the fact that everything is a shit hole covered with dust and dirt makes it hard to identify a lot of things." I began rambling to myself while backtracking to the convenience store that I previous set off to. Maybe a different direction would help? While I was back tracking, I decided to read chat.

{

MommyGF: Sweety, you should take a break and rest. I'm sure you're hungry.

ScientistLuZhou: From the information that has been released in this chat, why not just place the grenade into the duffel bag of guns?

OffTheGridUnluckyBlacksmith: Is there forging in this game?

Vibe: ^ This isn't a game you idiot. I'll vibe you to Earth-15 if you say something so like that again!

BrickThrowingBrawler: Hahahah, Vibe, relax it's just a game.

...Then the flame war ensued.

}

"Ahh, MommyGF, can you donate me your love and affection? Someone who is truly worried for me, I bet you are a great mother. Lu Zhou, the guy with the science system? Well shit, I have the chance to make someone who has a high IQ with a system to become dumb due to watching my stream. Yes, I could do that... Why didn't I think of that? Damn, I should listen to MommyGF and take a break. I want chicken ten- Well, I can't eat that anymore." Sighing to myself due to wasting so much time, I sat down on the ledge of the convenience store that I just conveniently arrived at and took out a human body from my inventory to eat.

The chat was going insane while shouting why do I have a fresh corpse of a human without a head in my inventory. I calmly explained, "It's my source of food, I can't eat normal human food. Weebs from my Earth, you heard of Tokyo Ghoul, right? Now you get to see what it's really like to eat a human corpse uncensored." I began thinking to myself, 'I never ate a corpse, I wonder how this'll go...'

>30 minutes later of chewing and a bit of crunching with a dash of the chat cringing, cheering, crying, etc. Poor chat by the way, they don't deserve to watch this so I put a bit of Bob Ross painting a tree on for them while I ate my food.

"I'm back with an answer and all I have to say is.. It tastes f.u.c.k.i.n.g delicious! So much more better than grandma's cookies, mom's spaghetti, and tacos. The chat was silent for a bit before they all somehow came to the conclusion to act like they saw and heard nothing, shockingly it was much more civil than it previously had. But why do I feel so much pity oozing from my stream? Oh well, I don't have to eat for a month now.

I scaled down the convenience store and started to leisurely walk in the middle of the streets, making my way towards where the tank was. The zombies nearby began to slowly make their way towards me before breaking into a little jog so I pulled my sword from its sheath. I patiently waited for each zombie to come within striking distance to pierce, slash, sweep, and occasionally kick for space. Everything was going smoothly and it felt nice, I hope I don't become a certain humanoid race with a monkey tail.

After killing 43 zombies over the 2 blocks that I traversed, I made it to the tank and duffel bag! After placing the grenade inside the bag, I walked away and decided to find the hospital since finding communities in an undead ravaged city takes way too much time. The states of the communities that I did scout are that of survivors who barely know how to fight, starving, too afraid, and overall crippled. My final evaluation? "Utterly crippled! The zombies have more worth than them!" Blurting my opinion out loud, I continued my search but this time I had two guests following me in a car not too far.

'Oh shit guys, I can smell two people following me and the faint sound of tire wheels running over rocks on the road. I only know of one notable group who does that shit in this world and I still have all my shit in my inventory! I refuse to expose them to black magic... Kappa' I scanned around and decided to camp inside a pickup truck for night, they'll kidnap me at that time. I won't have to wait long since it's dusk already. Climbing into the pickup truck, I put everything of value on me into my inventory.

Sadly my glasses were included and my chat was calling me paranoid for it, 'Come on! Lets be real, my glasses look pretty f.u.c.k.i.n.g generic. They'll take them then give it to me saying some shit like I owe them for it. That's their entire scam, kidnap people who are weak, injured, or alone then force them into labor due to the ones they kidnap owing them for medicine that they used, "saving" them, or whatever shameless reason they can come up with.'

The chat relaxed after that and I communicated with them while waiting to get kidnapped by the legendary Fake Tax- I mean, Fake Ambulance. I'm not joking, it's literally a fake ambulance! Just because you put a white cross on a car's window doesn't mean it's an ambulance. What kind of scuffed shit is that? Even I'm not that shameless to do what they do. But it does give me inspiration but better inspiration would be from the legend himself of this world and his community of rules!

'No, I will not tell you guys who I'm talking about! System block out any message that spoils it. I need to provide entertainment and chaos to my new family from different universes.' The system immediately went to work and the otherworldly family began to say thanks. Even a lot of the heroes in the chat was able to look at the stream as entertainment! I began to slowly fall asleep while I was admiring how chaotically alluring I am that I can make even Lawful Good become True Neutral with my stream.

Right when I was about to fall asleep, I was snatched up and swiftly knocked out. Willingly of course, come on! I smelled them while they stealthily made their way towards me but my chat didn't since smell isn't apart of the stream. What did my chat do? Panic obviously. Losing consciousness with a smug smile, I decided to get my second night's rest.

I leave the chat to you Ms. System!