A Not So Evil God In Fate/Grand Order

"Wait, let me explain! I was just trying to say their bodies don't compare to yours!" What was pride? As long as he could make it out alive, anything was okay!

"Oh, Darling! You could have said so from the beginning♡!" The white-haired girl, Artemis, happily said while rushing to hug the plush toy.

"Take out your arrow from my head first!" The little bear shouted at her to no avail. She just started to rub her cheek on his face with a lovestruck expression.

Leaving aside their love comedy, Mash and Fujimaru had a mild headache. It was not metaphorically but literally. They undoubtedly knew who she was as they met her when they tried to recover the stolen dumplings, but for some reason, some events that came to their mind were a bit foggy.

"...You don't see this type of thing every day. If I am correct, that strange woman is like you lot are, right?" Francis had to admit that there was no lack of uncommon and bizarre situations just by being with the Chaldeans.

"...Looks that way." Caster somewhat was feeling the same as Drake. That was to show that Heroic Spirits, in general, came in different shades of color.

"Hm? Is everything okay? There was a small change in the reading of your vitals just now." Romani's voice resounded amidst the group. He didn't see anything in particular that could be affecting them, and a quick scan in the surrounding area showed nothing.

"Yeah...I must be tired, that's all." Fujimaru responded like it was nothing, although his tone was a bit down.

"Yes. Nothing to worry about, I am in top condition to face any problem that may arise." Mash also gave a positive response, albeit with a little more energy. It seemed that being a Demi-Servant was helping her to cope with the headaches better.

'I didn't expect this to happen so soon, but I don't think it matters that much. This Artemis doesn't seem to be the one we met before.' Seth was aware there was a possibility of them feeling some ailments if some details of those events were brought up like now. Even so, it was nothing to worry about, other than the occasional headache if they forcefully tried to remember.

"Don't worry. When this comedic act is over, I will perform a quick check on the two." Sanson reassured Romani while watching the woman and plushie lover's quarrel from the sidelines.

"I would appreciate that, thanks, Assassin." Just as Dr. Roman finished speaking, Artemis finally stopped what she was doing and turned to the group.

She first looked at Seth, then at Altera before returning to look back at Seth and then again to Altera. She did this multiple times, trying to understand if what she was seeing was real.

"Um...Miss Artemis? Do you recognize us?" Mash asked, not understand where did her strange reaction come from at all. However, now that she thought about it, the white-haired girl didn't seem to be on good terms with Altera...although she couldn't recall why.

"Eh? Ah? N-No. I don't remember ever seeing you guys. But that's not important! What are you two doing here?!" She asked surprised with an expression typical of someone who would murder their partner and then themselves while laughing like crazy.

"None of your business, you psychopath."

"I don't even know you..."

Seth and Altera came up with a different answer to Artemis' question. The last thing they needed was getting questioned by a woman with a "few" screws loose.

"A woman that lives for love is not a psychopath! As for you...forget it. You aren't precisely the same person." She felt pretty offended after being called something awful like that by Seth.

"Do you know each other?" Romani asked, wanting to know a bit more. 'Being known by a Divine Spirit...It doesn't give much, but something is something.'

"Of course, we do." She responded with a smile, seemingly forgetting about the insults that went her way not long ago. "We are similar people, after all. I even look up to him."

'Similar...?' The others looked at Seth and then at Artemis. One who always had an attitude of not caring even if the world ended, and the other a person lost in what she called love. They were incapable of finding any kind of similarity.

"I don't want you to look up to me." Seeing her more than a questionable attitude, the reason she was looking up to him couldn't be that good.

"Please, just ignore her. Thinking is not her forte." The plushie, Orion, sighed. He was used to her antics already, but that did not mean he liked them.

"So, seeing as you guys haven't ganged up on us, I assume you are not here to kill us?" To avoid having her talk more, he changed the subject to a more pressing one.

"We are not. We initially came here to look for help against some of our enemies. As much as I hate to admit it, we need people that aren't that impeded when it comes to fighting on a ship." EMIYA was the one to answer. For now, there were only two people that could fight freely on their side. They couldn't rely on sending their Servants to Blackbeard's ship. Expecting pirates to fight fair and square and not make a sneak attack when you least expected was wishful thinking.

To make them fully understand, they had to tell them the whole story of their situation, about where they came from, and what their mission was.

"I see... You guys have it rough, huh. What do you say about lending them a hand, Artemis?" As a human himself —Even if he was now a plush toy— he wanted to help them, but with his body being like this and Artemis essentially hijacking his summon, she was the only one that could do something.

"If that is what you want, Darling, then I don't mind helping." Although the idea of staying alone with him on an island wasn't bad at all. Hehehehe~

"...The look in your face is not reassuring. Anyway, follow me. I happen to know a place where the Wyverns have their nest." They had spent a lot of time together that he already knew what was on her mind. Not that it was too hard to do it.

"We already have everything we need, but I believe a little bit extra wouldn't hurt us just in case we have to make more repairs in the future." Shielder thanked the little plushie, who, in turn, asked for a hug as a reward. Safe to say, the only thing he got was a squeeze by Artemis.

Once his "punishment" was over, Orion led them to a terrain that was indeed full of Wyverns. It seemed that personality aside, he truly knew his business. If you considered his story, it wasn't that surprising.

In little less than an hour, they managed to obtain many of their scales to reinforce the ship. It was a quantity more significant than the one they got previously after hours of random hunting.

... Although, the phrase "With great risk often comes great reward" couldn't be more accurate in their case. The only difference was that the group got the reward first.

*ROOOOAAARRRRR*

The booming sound of an angry creature shook the earth. From what seemed to be a hollow mountain, the body of a colossal Dragon rose, staring intently at them.

"...I forgot to mention. If we kill too many, a big one is bound to show up..." Orion said with the innocent voice of a child who had just made the mistake of his life and was trying to correct it by acting cute.

"..." It didn't work.

"Sigh, Can you do the same you do with the Wyverns?" EMIYA asked Seth. If he received a positive response, his day would brighten. Sadly, that was not the case.

"Sure. Do you want me to turn water into wine now that I am at it?" Now Archer knew how it felt when someone gave a sarcastic reply to you. A lesson to himself for the future.

"...Grr...Dragon...Kill...Protect...Euryale..." At least someone was ready to fight.

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"Bufufufu~ Not there, Euryale-chan...Don't do it...no. It's not good. I'm a v.i.r.g.i.n—BANG!" Blackbeard was placidly dreaming when the sound of a gunshot awoke him.

"What?! Are we under attack?! Protect the children first!" He jumped from the bed at the speed of light and started looking around. The only thing he noticed was Anne looking at him with disgust, though.

"Oh, so it's Miss Anne! What do you need? I was getting to the good part!" He asked with fake tears in his eyes. Why did dreams always end at the worst time?!

"Stop being a creep and get to work. How do you expect to steal Francis Drake's Holy Grail if we don't get reinforcements? Not to mention they are probably looking for allies." It was at times like this that she wondered why it wasn't a more normal Master, the one that summoned them.

"Hehehe! I thought you were only into Yuri, but it seems you also include your Captain in your preferences. Who knew you were worried I would lose?" She didn't know why did she bother in discussing with this guy. The only thing she was getting was a headache.

"Shut up and do your job already." After saying this, she turned around and left. She might get infected if she stayed here any longer.

"This is it. The moment has come where I use all the savings (Magical Energy) in my wallet (Holy Grail) to summon the Loli (Servant) of my dreams. Yes! My motivation is rising! There is no way this can go wrong!" Blackbeard's was ready to go all out.

He soon also exited his sleeping quarters and went to the deck where Anne and Mary were waiting, together with his crew.

"So you are here. Hurry up and get to work." As soon as Mary saw Teach, she impatiently spoke to him. They had lost a lot of time unnecessarily.

"Hurrying is something only quick shooters would do! This process needs the appropriate preparations, like praying to whatever God is in charge of this, or maybe do a ritual dance!" Even if she were a woman and with a child's body at that, he wouldn't tolerate her impatience. People should treat matters like this with delicacy!

"Whatever. Just make sure to summon someone useful." It was Anne, the one who responded instead of Mary. The two girls didn't want him to summon a decoration. Although, knowing him, he might just do that.

"All right, all right." He waved his hands to reassure them. "Cough. Oh, my Goddess in the sky. Listen to my prayers and bring me the ultimate Servant of my dreams. Please don't spook me with male ones, I beg you!" Blackbeard took the Holy Grail and started dancing weirdly. It was as if he was trying to invoke good luck.

A bright white Summoning Circle formed in front of Teach. The infamous pirate could feel the Grail's Magical Energy go directly into it. 'Lolis are okay, but what if I get an Onee-san? Hm...what a harsh decision indeed. Bah. No matter, I will love them all the same. Duhuhu~'

Soon after, a blinding light filled their vision. It didn't take much for it to recede, though. When it did, a new person that was not there before made itself known.

"Servant, Saber. William Kidd." The new addition introduced himself before assessing his new Master.

"..."

"It's you, huh. I didn't expect the one who summoned me to be the worst sc.u.m the seas have ever seen." The disappointment he felt wasn't near as much as Blackbeard's.

"WHY?! I DIDN'T ASK FOR YOU! OR FOR A MALE EVEN!" He started a tantrum that only finished when he became breathless. Injustice! This shit was pure injustice! There is no other way to describe this!

'Calm yourself, Edward. Breathe in and out! There is still one more chance! Yes, that's right! Just a bit more wouldn't hurt. I am sure the Grail will recompensate all my efforts!' With a self-delusion coming from someone who was in too deep on their addiction, Blackbeard used the remaining Magical Energy inside the Artifact to summon the woman of his dreams.

This time the process went different, though. Dark clouds quickly gathered on top of the ship. It wasn't much time before blue lightning started whipping the world around them. The sea became restless in a signal of a powerful Servant arriving.

'Is this it?! I finally summoned a Goddess that is not useless?!' Teach's heart looked like it would burst out of his c.h.e.s.t. Many emotions overcame him at this moment.

When his excitement was at its peak, a blue thunderbolt struck the Summoning Circle, strangely not damaging the ship.

"Class Archer. So, who is the trash among you that summoned me?"