Acceptance of the Self

Book 1: Attunement of the Hearts

Chapter 37.ea - Ritualistic Thinking

___________________ ღღ ___________________

Ellie

¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ •.¸ ¸.• ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯

 

[ - Sunday, September 15, 2019 - 7:11pm - Anderson Family Kitchen - ]

"...and that's it. We're waiting for Anne to come back here so we can try her magic to find Sky," Maddie explains, having switched into the front part way through our story. I had been happy to vacate the space to them, both because I'd gotten real tired of telling our history with Anne and because I figure they need front-time with our friends as much as I do.

 

“Wow,” Trevor says, his eyes wide, “That’s amazing! I really hope Anne and you and Ellie are able to help us!”

 

“Yeah,” Maddie says with a grimace, “me too.”

 

We’ll do everything we can, I reassure them.

 

I know I know, they reply, but the chances of it not being enough are pretty large.

 

True, I think, but we won’t know until we try.

 

“Hey,” Dawn says firmly, “we’re going to find them. We’ve got to keep hope.”

 

Madelaine nods. “I agree, I’m just stressing a normal amount because our friends have been kidnapped by an apparently powerful and evil organization.”

 

“Yeah, that’s fair,” Dawn says with a grimace.

 

We lapse into silence, and I tune in to the older adults’ conversation. Jay, Aiden, Audre, Deirdre and Claire are all huddled around the far side of the table, studying a map with the GPS coordinates that were on Sky’s list of missing people plotted out on it. The chairs from that side of the table are all pushed to one side.

 

“...wish they’d labelled these points better. Are these where they were last seen, or where they lived, or something else entirely?” Aiden’s asking.

 

“I doubt it’s where they lived, this one’s in the middle of a highway, that one’s in a field. We really need to do more research on who these people were,” Claire replies.

 

“Aye, Aiden and I have started, but there’s a lot of detective work to do still,” Jay says.

 

“What about Drew?” Audre asks, “Should we try and confront them?” 

 

Deirdre shakes her head. “Claire’s right, they could be dangerous. Let’s get all the info we can first before we go barging into their home.”

 

“We could do a stake out, but if they are powerful they may have means of detecting us no matter what disguises we wear,” Claire adds.

 

Just then, the doorbell rings again, and again everyone goes quiet.

 

Trevor, Dawn and I all look at each other, before turning to the adults. Like before, Jay and Aiden are already moving to the door cautiously.

 

“Is it Maurice?” Claire whispers.

 

“I doubt Maurice would ring the bell,” Audre answers just as quietly.

 

Aiden peers through the peephole, then sighs. “Dawn,” he calls, “Vielet’s here.”

 

“Shit,” Dawn says, getting out of her chair. “I guess I did tell her she was welcome anytime.”

 

Aiden unlocks and opens the door as Dawn walks over. Maddie stays in our seat, observing. We can faintly hear the conversation at the door.

 

“Hey Vielet,” Aiden starts, “now’s not really a... what’s wrong?” 

 

“Hi Mr. Anderson, I can go I’m sorry for intruding,” Vielet says quickly, her voice clearly stressed.

 

“Nuh uh miss Cedrick,” Jay says, stepping forward, “we’re having a bit of a crisis here it’s true, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t welcome.”

 

“A-are you sure?” she asks, “I could go elsewhere, though I... don’t really know anywhere else to go.”

 

“Hey Vie,” Dawn says as she reaches the door, “You’re welcome to be here. What brings you by?”

 

“Hi Dawn, I uh, it’s just, it’s not a crisis by any means, but my parents kinda got into an argument over dinner about queer people after I brought it up, and I just don’t really feel safe there right now.”

 

“Oh honey,” Jay says compassionately.

 

Jay and Aiden both step back so Dawn can usher Vielet into the hallway. “You poor girl, of course you can come in,” Dawn says kindly.

 

I glance at Trevor, who’s looking anxiously at Deirdre and Audre. 

 

“What should we do?” he whispers, just barely audible from my seat across from him. How he expects the Sombersets to hear him I don’t know.

 

Then Deirdre whispers something back, but I don’t catch it. 

 

Vampire senses? I speculate.

 

I guess, Maddie replies.

 

Trevor seems placated by her response at least, he settles back into his seat and looks over towards the front door with a perplexed expression. We can just barely see Dawn and Vielet through the door to the living room, which borders the front hall. 

 

Jay and Aiden lead Dawn and Vielet back into the kitchen.

 

“Alright so this is Audre Somberset, Deirdre Somberset, and Claire uh, Claire,” Dawn says awkwardly, waving a hand towards the three standing ladies.

 

“I wish I was Claire Claire,” Claire says, “But alas, it’s Claire Nedserd. And who might you be?”

 

Vielet gulps, and I realize she’s staring at Trevor.

 

Oh shit, she’s not out yet, Maddie thinks worriedly.

 

Shit, I agree.

 

“Oh fuck,” Dawn says, clearly putting together the same clues we are, “I’m so sorry, I totally forgot Trevor was here!”

 

Jay and Aiden both look like they’re kicking themselves too.

 

Trevor smiles awkwardly and waves. “Hello, Vielet is it?” he asks pleasantly, “It’s wonderful to re-meet you.”

 

Vielet gives a little wave back. “Hi Trev,” she says, then she addresses the group, “Sorry to uh, barge in like this. But yeah I’m trans, name’s Vielet, pronouns are she/her. Now would someone like to tell me what crisis is afoot?”

 

“Sky and their friend Eve have been, uh, kidnapped,” Dawn says, rubbing the back of her neck.

 

“What!?” Vielet asks incredulously. She looks to Jay and Aiden, both of whom nod solemnly.

 

“Yes, they’re gone. We’re just trying to figure out what to do about it,” Aiden says.

 

“How do you know they’ve been taken?” Vie asks worriedly.

 

“We found a recording on Sky’s phone, and said phone was in an abandoned parking lot,” Maddie supplies.

 

Vielet stares at us. “Seriously?” she asks.

 

“Seriously,” Dawn confirms.

 

“Have you called the police?” Vie asks.

 

“No,” Jay says, “we’re fairly certain the cops won’t be able to help with this one.”

 

“You could say it’s family business,” Deirdre says diplomatically.

 

Vielet looks from one adult to the other, then shrugs. “I mean, all cops are bastards and all that, so that makes sense.”

 

“Precisely,” Claire says with a smile, “I knew I liked this girl.”

 

That gets Vie to blush brightly, and she mumbles a ‘thank you’.

 

“We’re all going to be pretty preoccupied with finding Sky and Eve,” Jay says, “Do you kids want to go hang out upstairs for a while? Maybe poke around on Sky’s computer more or play some games?”

 

I could easily read between the lines: we needed to keep Vielet occupied so they could talk about supernatural stuff without her overhearing. Given how antsy Maurice had been about Audre revealing the vampires’ supernatural status, I can only assume they want to keep it secret from as many people as possible.

 

“We can go check out Sky’s computer, sure, but I think we all want to be as helpful as possible, so if you need anything just give us a holler,” Dawn says.

 

“Anne should be back soon too,” Maddie announces, “so we’ll come back down when that happens probably.”

 

Vielet raises her eyebrows at that, but doesn’t say anything.

 

“Excellent,” Aiden says, “We’ll see you then.”

 

With that Vielet, Dawn, Trevor and Maddie and I make our way upstairs and into Sky’s room. Maddie and I go last, and we carefully close Sky’s door behind us to keep out the conversation downstairs as much as possible.

 

Trevor and Vielet sit on Sky’s perfectly made bed with its soft cloud-themed comforter, while Dawn sits down at the computer and Maddie and I take up position in the folding chair behind her that we set up earlier.

 

“Alright,” Dawn says, "so far we’ve found a list of other disappeared people that Sky had and a draft of a reddit post they made asking if anyone had any info on the missing people or the organization that took them: BPI. So there’s no telling what else they may have saved on here.”

 

“BPI?” Vielet asks curiously. “That sounds kinda familiar.”

 

“It apparently stands for ‘Blue Projects International’, Audre and Deirdre knew that much,” Maddie explains.

 

“Huh,” Vielet says, taking out her phone from her jean’s pocket, “and you said they had a reddit post with a list of people on it?” 

 

“Yep, at least they talked about having one and we found a draft of it, so we assume it’s real,” Dawn says, pulling up DRAFT.txt and scooching away from the screen so Vielet and Trevor can peer at it more easily. After a few seconds Vie leans back with a frown.

 

“Huh, I swear I saw this post somewhere,” she says, looking back at her phone.

 

“Seriously?” Dawn asks cautiously.

 

“Yeah, I was browsing reddit a few nights ago to get familiar with it after you showed me the trans femme forums,” Vie says, “and I wound up on a missing persons forum after a post about a trans woman going missing in Cincinnati. I’m pretty sure I saw this exact post somewhere else on the site.”

 

“If you could find it that would be amazing!” Maddie says excitedly.

 

“Working on it,” Vie says. “Why don’t y’all go back to looking at the rest of Sky’s computer?”

 

Dawn and Maddie nod and turn their attention back to Sky’s PC. 

 

We spend the next ten or so minutes looking into more files and folders, systematically going through their entire home drive, before we’re interrupted by Vielet again.

 

“Found it!” she exclaims, holding up her phone with a reddit post open. “I’ll text you all a link.”

 

“Awesome!” Dawn exclaims.

 

A few moments later our phone buzzes with a new group text message. Maddie hits the link and opens up the post. It sure looks identical to the DRAFT.txt file we found, with a handful of comments beneath it that we both carefully read through. Most are people saying they’ll post the information to local facebook or messaging groups they’re in, with a handful of critical ones saying the post is a conspiracy or OP needs to post actual evidence.

 

“Huh, that’s definitely it,” Dawn says, breaking the quiet.

 

“I don’t see any obvious comments from Drew,” Maddie adds.

 

“They probably messaged the account directly,” Trevor says.

 

“Who’s Drew?” Vie asks curiously.

 

“The person Sky and Eve were supposed to be meeting when they got kidnapped,” Maddie explains, “Claire scried for them and said she saw money changing hands between Drew and some shady looking people, and that Drew never showed up to the meeting.”

 

Vie blinks slowly. “Okay, Claire can scry for things? Like with magic?”

 

D'oh, I think, we're really not good at this keeping secrets thing huh?

 

No ma'am we are not, Maddie replies guiltily.

 

It's not your fault, I'd have said the same thing, I reassure them. 

 

“Turns out Maddie and Ellie aren't the only ones with magical abilities,” Dawn says with a smile at us.

 

We blush and Maddie returns her smile hesitantly. “Though maybe we shouldn’t talk about that too much until we okay it with Claire first?” they say.

 

Dawn sighs, then nods. “That’s true.”

 

Just then I feel a tingle spread through our mind, that same kind of expansion in our thoughts that signals the arrival of someone new to our head.

 

Maddie sits up straighter, and announces, “Anne’s just arrived, Ellie and I will be right back.”

 

 

 

 

 

___________________ ღღ ___________________

Anne

¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ •.¸ ¸.• ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯

 

I move through the Aether like a fish through the sea, though to be fair I’m swimming along a protected channel in the sea rather than the wild Aether itself. How this channel came to be is still a mystery to me, but it’s one I’m determined to solve. 

 

The bridge that I built only takes up a fraction of the ‘protected’ space that I can sense around me. It would take significant focus to distance myself from the bridge and skirt the edges of the wild Aether, which I have no intention of doing at the moment. I stay grounded to the bridge, moving with the currents around it, and soon enough I reach my destination.

 

I materialize walking out of the mists on Ellie and Madelaine’s side of the bridge, and find both of them waiting for me on the beach. I teleport to just in front of them, and Maddie takes a step back in surprise.

 

“Anne!” Ellie says with a grin, “How are you?”

 

I smile and curtsy with my long brown skirt. “I’m good, and you both?”

 

“We’re hanging in there,” Maddie replies, recovering themself smoothly, “We’ve met two witches tonight as well as four vampires. Do you have vampires in your world?” 

 

My eyes widen in surprise. “Yes, we have something like that. We call them n̈gaʝüʙʝuh - the bloodless - and they’re quite rare. You met four you say? That’s incredible!”

 

“One is an old friend of ours to boot,” Ellie adds, offering her hand to me.

 

I take it and feel a plethora of memories flowing into me, her surface thoughts that she’s pushing my way. I very quickly learn everything she knows about Deirdre, Audre, Maurice, and Trevor.

 

I blink back to the beach. “Fascinating, I would love to learn more about the vampires and witches,” I say enthusiastically. “But first, we should focus on finding Dawn’s missing sibling.”

 

“Agreed,” Maddie says, “Do you still think you have magic that can help?”

 

“I believe I do,” I say, frowning as I think through everything Claire told Ellie and Maddie about how her magic works. The oil and water analogy is particularly useful information. 

 

“If my magic does indeed bypass the interference Claire’s facing," I say, "we should have a better idea of the missing kids’ location shortly. I have a scrying spell and a dowsing spell, among others, ready to go.”

 

“Should we go somewhere quiet?” Ellie asks, “Right now we’re sitting in the middle of Sky’s room with Dawn, Trevor and Vielet around us.”

 

I nod. “A quiet space would be best, at least for the first spell. Though we may want to set up some recording equipment to talk into so we can describe what we’re seeing.”

 

“Gotcha,” Ellie says, “we can ask Jay to set that up.”

 

“How many spells do you have?” Maddie inquires.

 

“Two to start, with three others on hand if we need them. Leah and I spent the hike to safety talking about what spells might work for this,” I reply.

 

“Awesome,” Maddie says.

 

“Yeah! Let’s get out there and find Sky!” Ellie exclaims excitedly.

 

 

 

 

 

___________________ ღღ ___________________

Ellie

¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ •.¸ ¸.• ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯

 

“Alright, recorder and camera equipment is all set up,” Jay says, wiping some dust from his bookshelves off on his khaki pants.

 

We’re in his study again, seated at his desk in his big comfy rolly chair. Aiden stands beside Jay and Dawn sits across from us, with Claire, Audre, Vielet and Trevor standing behind her: everyone who said they believed in Anne’s magic and wanted to know more about it. Anne had okayed the extra watchers for the moment, but everyone was aware that she would be asking for more space soon.

 

“Thank you Jay,” Anne says with our mouth. 

 

Maddie and I sit in our favorite seats in front of the viewing screen, the both of us a little nervous about so many of our friends being here, witnessing our ‘otherworldly’ side firsthand. But at the same time both of us are confident in Anne’s abilities, and we send her feelings of support and love. She always does the same for us when we practice our internal headspace magic.

 

“To start with,” Anne says to everyone present, “this first spell won’t be very flashy, in fact you probably wouldn’t see anything at all if you were watching. I’m combining both scrying and dowsing elements to the spell, so Maddie, Ellie and I should get a good view of where and how Sky is.”

 

She gestures down to the cluster of sigils in front of her, each one of which she’d carefully sketched out earlier in the evening. “The basic gist of what I’m doing is elementary to my style of magic: I’m going to ‘cast’ each of these sigils individually and as a group to improve my chances of seeing what I need to see. To cast a sigil, I’m going to focus on what that sigil represents to me, draw in energy from my own world to this one through the connection Ellie, Maddie, and I share, then perform an action and believe that what I need to happen already has happened and all I need to do is look for it.”

 

She points to the top sigil of the five she’s drawn, it looks like an open eye in a circle. “This one represents my mind’s eye, as does the bottom one, it’s a sigil I’ve developed over years of solving crimes in my city.” 

 

She points next to the left and right sigils in the middle row of three. These symbols look identical and depict a silhouette of a humanoid with a thick and slightly curved line to the right of the person’s center and a black dot slightly to the left of the line at chest height on the silhouette. I get the impression from Anne that it’s supposed to be a bowperson lining up an arrow on their target.

 

“The two on the sides represent locating or dowsing for something, on their own they’d give me a kind of inner directional sense of where the thing I want to find is in relation to me. But combined with the mind’s eye sigils they’ll instead allow me to see the thing I’m locating in my head,” Anne continues.

 

Then she moves her finger to point at the cloud-with-a-rainbow-on-top sigil at the center.

 

“This middle sigil is just one I made up to represent Sky,” Anne says. She’s blushing faintly with all these pairs of eyes on her, confident in her magic but not in her artistic skills.

 

These look great! I reassure her.

 

Yeah, they’re simple and effective, Maddie agrees.

 

Thank you both, she comments internally.

 

“Unless you have any questions,” Anne says aloud in a slightly accented version of our voice, “I’d like to perform the spell now. Can I ask all of you to wait in the hall? We want as few distractions as possible.”

 

“Of course,” Jay says, gesturing for everyone to leave. “I’ll start the recording now.”

 

“Thank you,” Anne answers.

 

Jay switches on the camera and microphone, and steps back to the right side of the desk from us.

 

“Good luck Anne, Ellie, and Maddie,” Dawn says with a smile as she stands from her seat.

 

“Yeah, good luck you three!” Vielet calls before she ducks out the door.

 

“See you on the other side,” Trevor says before he follows suit.

 

Claire and Audre leave next, followed by Dawn and Jay. Then we’re alone as the forest green door closes quietly.

 

Let us begin, Anne says.

 

She stares down at the collection of sigils before her, and carefully draws lines between each adjacent sigil, connecting them in a circle and linking each of the outer four sigils to the central Sky symbol.

 

Suddenly our viewing screen narrows slightly, and Anne poof!s into existence in the viewing tree in front of Maddie and I.

 

“I’m going to cast the spell from in here,” Anne explains, “I mostly wrote the sigils down to show to the others and to have a physical focus for the energy I’m attracting to coalesce around, but I’ve got the sigils pretty well memorized at this point.”

 

I blink at her. “Okay,” I say as I get to my imaginary feet, “Let’s do this.”

 

“Yeah what she said,” Maddie agrees as they rise from their navy blue loveseat.

 

Anne bows her head, then turns to the viewing screen. I can vaguely feel her concentration as she stares at the screen and starts swaying from side to side, humming a tune from her childhood. 

 

Soon she’s warmed up enough that she starts chanting in her native language, raising her energy and, hopefully, drawing more magical energy through our link from her world. 

 

“Oh great goddess Artya, hear my prayer!” she intones rhythmically, swaying from side to side, “I am one with the wilds and one with you. Let us hunt for Sky and find them true! I call upon the earth, the trees, the wolves, and the bears! Show me Sky Anderson!”

 

She waits a beat, then repeats the chant louder and with more gravity. “Oh great goddess Artya, hear my prayer! I am one with the wilds and one with you. Let us hunt for Sky and find them true! I call upon the birds, the breeze, the snow, and the air! Show me Sky Anderson!”

 

She repeats the chant a few more times, swaying and dancing to her rhythm and invoking different aspects of her Goddess with each incantation. I can feel the energy building within and around her. 

 

As she reaches a peak in her fervor, I feel her concentrate hard on the sigils she’d written in the real world and on an image of Sky themself. I find myself fixating on both things too, and I can feel Maddie doing the same beside me. 

 

Soon the only thoughts in our head are the sigils and Sky. And that’s when Anne releases her magic with a final shouted, “Show me Sky Anderson!”

 

All the magic pent up within her pours out from her hands in two deep green rays of light and enters the viewing screen, enchanting it with her intentions and her spellwork.

 

The view beyond our real-world nose gets blurry for a second, and then refocuses on an image of Sky sitting on a grey concrete-looking floor leaning against a grey concrete-looking wall. 

 

Holy shit! I think, is this real?

 

Yes, Anne replies curtly, clearly focused on maintaining the spell. 

 

Sky is a bright spot of color amidst the drabness of their surroundings, their brilliant cyan hair contrasts with their sea green scooby-doo tee shirt, dark blue jeans, and light blue and white shoes. They appear to be alone.

 

Accompanying this vision is a strong sense of direction pulling at my gut, like an innate sense telling me that Sky is this way. 

 

Anne disappears into the front, or maybe it’s more accurate to say she remains solely focused on her spell to the exclusion of all else, so her imaginary body ceases to be. One second she’s there and the next she’s not; there’s no poof! sound effect like usual. I can feel her control our viewpoint as it turns to survey the rest of our surroundings. 

 

There’s a heavy-looking metal door to our right with a small barred window in the upper center letting in some fluorescent light, but otherwise the room is featureless aside from a small toilet and a cot against the wall. The mattress on the cot looks threadbare, as does the thin blue blanket covering it. There’s a single electric bulb letting off dull yellow light in the center of the ceiling about twelve or thirteen feet off the floor.

 

Now, where are we? Anne asks, and our viewpoint expands rapidly outwards and upwards, like we're zooming out on a google map. 

 

Visually the landscape is very hazy and indistinct, but I suddenly know exactly where Sky is in relation to the Anderson's house. I even recognize the area.

 

The place we’re looking down at used to be an empty field, but in recent years it had been bought up by the biggest e-retail company in the world and turned into a massive shipping warehouse. That gigantic white-roofed building is directly below us, and Sky's located in the north west corner of the structure at ground level, which I somehow just know thanks to Anne’s magic.

 

You know where this is, what the terrain is like? Anne asks hopefully, clearly still straining to keep the spell going.

 

Oh yeah, Maddie says, let me handle this.

 

They disappear from the viewing room, and I feel them forcibly focusing on reconnecting to our body. Faintly, I hear our voice in the real world begin narrating what we’re seeing.

 

“Okay, testing testing, great. So, Sky’s in the massive Mazon warehouse off Finley road,” they say matter-of-factly, “They’re currently sitting in an empty concrete prison cell-looking room with a toilet, a cot, a single light bulb, and a heavy metal door. They’re located on the ground level of the structure in the north west corner maybe fifty feet away from the north wall.”

 

Thanks for taking charge, I think at them as they pause for breath. 

 

No problem cutie, they reply with an impression of a smile. Thank you Anne for getting us this vital information!

 

You’re very welcome, I’m so glad it worked! Anne thinks back at us.

 

Our inner viewing screen blinks, and slowly the vision of Sky dissipates as Anne lets go of her tight hold on the spell. She reappears in the viewing tree without any fanfare, standing beside me as we both survey the viewing screen. The view transitions to Jay’s study as we reconnect to the body’s senses.

 

“Now to inform the normies,” Maddie says aloud cheekily.

End of 

Chapter 37.ea - Ritualistic Thinking