Gutting the Heart (2)

Cui Wang pushed her away. His heart that was soaked with her tears was hot and painful, but he felt more sober than ever.

“Go.”

“No,” Zheng Wan shook her head. She tightened her arms around his neck, buried her face in his shoulder blades and said stubbornly, “I won’t leave.”

But suddenly, the person she was clinging to for her dear life disappeared.

When she looked up, she saw Cui Wang standing about ten feet away from her. “Cui Wang!”

Zheng Wan moved forward instinctively, but was unexpectedly held back by a sword. It was the first time that Zheng Wan saw Cui Wang’s sword so clearly; the sword was like flowing light, extremely beautiful, extremely bright, but also extremely cold.

The cold light ebbed and flowed by her neck, as if about to slice through her fragile neck at any moment.

“Come one more step forward, and I’ll kill.”

Zheng Wan didn’t believe him, and shook her head.


“Cui Wang, you can’t bear to kill me.”

“You can try me.”

“Kill me, and you will die.”

Zheng Wan bit her lip, teardrops falling.

The sword’s light illuminated every corner of the room, as well as the sorrow and agony on her face. Cui Wang shut his eyes, and when he opened them again, it was like looking into a dry well, with not a ripple in sight1.

“You can give it a try.”

Zheng Wan looked into his eyes; he had become the same as he was when they first met.

She was kneeling in front of Anju gate; there was a heavy snowstorm, and when he glanced at her without intending to as he passed by with his ink-and-wash painted bamboo umbrella, she was merely an ant to him. The curiosity he had towards this ant was purely limited to the fact that she had flogged him when he was young.

But after that, it had clearly been different.

Although he had still been expressionless most of the time, she had clearly sensed that something was melting away slowly; he gradually gained warmth, becoming like a human being.

He would also smile at her occasionally.

But right now, he had taken back his special treatment towards her, and she had become an ant that was crawling around on the ground again.

The light in his eyes was piercingly cold, like a sharp knife cutting through bones. Zheng Wan understood with great clarity that what Cui Wang said was true.

The young Sword Sovereign who cared about nothing but his sword was back. If he said he would kill her, it meant that he really would kill her; he didn’t even care about his own life.

The time to lay it all bare had arrived.

Zheng Wan knew that no amount of tears would make any difference, so she wiped her face clean.

“Cui Wang, do you still remember that you promised me a birthday wish before?”

“I remember.”

“A promise from one of the Cui clan of Boling Cui is as good as a thousand taels of gold, there’s never one from your clan who has ever gone back on their word, is that right?”

“Yes.”

Zheng Wan spread her hands outward.

“Then, I want the Moistening Essence that you own.”

“Is this what you want?”

Cui Wang flicked his sleeve, grabbed at the empty air, and a white jade bottle appeared in his hand. Putting the contents aside, just the bottle alone was extremely beautiful; it was made of translucent mutton-fat jade, delicately gleaming as if it were full of light.

He pulled off the bottle cap, and a drop of water ten times larger than a teardrop fell into his palm.

The water droplet was actually solidified; when it fell into Cui Wang’s palm, it didn’t dissolve even after a long time passed. When Zheng Wan looked at it, she felt that there was no drop of water between heaven and earth that was purer, smoother, moister and more dazzling and entrancing than it was.

She reached out her hand.

But she only saw Cui Wang, who had been expressionless just a moment ago, suddenly clench his fists. As Granny Jin screamed, the Moistening Essence turned from a condensed bead into trickling water, falling to the ground through his fingers.

“A sin! A sin!!”

Granny Jin swore and cursed at the heavens and earth.

Cui Wang opened his palm again.

“I no longer have the Moistening Essence.”


There was no need to honour the promise.

Zheng Wan looked abruptly at Cui Wang; the piercing cold in his eyes had disappeared, leaving only a deep mocking, as if to say: Look, you’ve worked so anxiously all your life, but in the end, you still have nothing at all.

“Ask for something else.”

Zheng Wan suddenly burst into laughter, and as she laughed, her laughter turned into tears again.

She asked with reddened eyes, “Cui Wang, why do you have to be like this? I merely wish to have an opportunity that couldn’t be more ordinary for people like you, why did you have to ruin it?”

She could no longer cultivate.

Cui Wang had destroyed the Moistening Essence.

Cui Wang stood indifferently, not saying a word.

Footnotes:

1 a dry well, with not a ripple in sight: 古井无波 gu jin wu bo; A Chinese idiom, literally meaning a dry well with no ripples, and a metaphor of inner peace and being unmoved by external things.

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