Aim at That Star

"How can the bird know the ambition of Honghu?"

— When saying this, Lin Suizi was not mocking Lin Maizi, but more of himself.

Her so-called "you don't understand", "you and I are not on the same road", in Lin Maizi's view, looked down on her, and was a kind of contempt and insult.

But in fact, it was just Lin Suizi's sincere expression.

Lin Suizi knew that she was different from many people in this world.

She is selfish, hypocritical, dark, and two-faced.

Do not know sincerity. Don't know how to trust. do not know love.

The two things of weighing the pros and cons and acting and acting have been engraved in her bones and have become an instinct that is applied all the time.

Just like when she gave Lin Xiangxue the watch, the words she said seemed to be normal greetings at first, but she was actually telling her every word: this watch is not an ordinary one, it was a department store where her husband went to the Shanghai market specially. If you buy it, you can't even buy it in the city. Don't underestimate this intention.

But in fact, before Lin Xiangxue dug out this watch, Lin Suizi never thought much about asking for favors and rewards for taking this gift.

At first, I would ask Jiang Shi to choose a usable watch as a dowry for her mother's cousin when she was on a business trip in Shanghai. It was only because I remembered Lin Xiangxue's enthusiasm for delivering vegetables and sauces over the years and his little aunt during confinement. I took great care of it, so I want to pay back this kindness.

I will deliberately hide it in the bag of old clothes, not give it to her alone, I want her to look at it after she goes home, and it also saves the red tape of thanking and thanking in the middle.

But when Lin Xiangxue pulled out the watch and thanked her in surprise, Lin Suizi couldn't help it. Instinctively, she couldn't control her mouth at all, and began to quietly "ask for credit".

This kind of thing has happened countless times over the years.

It made Lin Suizi feel more and more sad.

Because she found that she had incorporated calculation into her instinct, as natural as eating, drinking, and walking.

From the very beginning, before speaking, I had to think countless times about what would be the most appropriate wording and what kind of expression would be more persuasive and persuasive. Now I blurt out the routines one after the other, as if walking to the left without thinking at all. The foot is still right.

So she ridiculed Lin Maizi back then, saying that she was always fixated on the matter of marriage between sisters, her ambition was short, and she was not at the same level as herself.

If it were her and everyone was married, why would she waste time arguing with a cousin who had nothing to do with her own life? Of course, it was to win over her husband's family.

Also mocking yourself.

She and Lin Maizi, the girls in the village, and most ordinary, lively and sincere girls in this world are no longer the same.

It is not true that Lin Suizi has no expectations for marriage and the other half of her life together in the future.

Because she knew very well that she liked Jiang Shi, and was very willing to marry Jiang Shi, looking forward to a new life.

But on the other hand, she knew that if Jiang Shi died immediately before marriage, she would not be so sad if she didn't want her.

Because she knows that grief is just a waste of time.

Instead of wasting energy on this useless emotion, it is better to think more about how to live the next day.

You see, whether she is happy or not, sad or not, she can't express it naturally and sincerely. Instead, she first calculates whether it is suitable or not, and then decides whether to express it or restraint.

- This is the most sad and helpless place for Lin Suizi.

Sometimes she would think that it might have something to do with her family environment since she was a child. She couldn't blame her, but she could only blame her fate. She had no choice but to develop herself like this.

But sometimes she would think, in fact, there are many people in this world who are suffering more than her, not to mention outside, even in Nanyuanling Village, there are many people, why didn't they become like this? Maybe he was born a freak.

After thinking about it, there is no answer, so I can only give up.

Get up and live this life that is destined to be bound by yourself.

Before the induction star came, Lin Suizi's two lifetimes were indeed like this.

Before Lin Maizi was reborn, she married Xu Weidong.

I have only regarded Xu Weidong as a partner all my life, but Xu Weidong didn't realize it, and thought he had married such a gentle, lovely and congenial little wife.

But in fact, in Lin Suizi's heart, her husband couldn't even compare to a single hair of the children's hair.

If there is a need, for the sake of the child, even if Xu Weidong dies in front of her eyes, she will not be moved at all.

It's just that her acting was so perfect, until Xu Weidong died, she didn't see that Lin Suizi was so indifferent to him.

After Lin Maizi was reborn, Lin Suizi married the educated youth He Wenbo who was suffering from mental illness. He Wenbo beat her, scolded her, and humiliated her. In fact, Lin Suizi didn't have much grievance and disappointment for her husband.

After all, there is not much emotion in it.

She just felt disgusted and disgusted.

Later, he chose to commit suicide because he could not think of a way out and could no longer endure such a life.

and really tired.

At such a young age, having lived for more than ten years, she has never received true love, and she is still abused by her husband when she is married. To be honest, it really makes Lin Suizi feel extremely chilled about this world.

She suddenly felt that it was too tiring and hard work to live.

Otherwise, it's still dead.

So she committed suicide, thinking of what to do, strong action, decisive decision-making, and did not hesitate to delay time.

Even in the matter of death.

This is Lin Suizi's character.

But this time, after the induction star came, under the subtle influence of Jiang Shi, Lin Suizi's state was much more positive.

Although in front of others, such as Lin Xiangxue, he still had to wear his usual mask.

But in front of Jiang Shi and the children, it was much better.

First, it was because she knew that Jiang Shi had seen through her true face long ago, so she was too lazy to keep putting it on after she broke the jar.

Otherwise, every time after saying something wrong, as soon as he looked up, he could see Jiang Shi looking at her with a pair of eyes that were half-smiling but not smiling. The smile on his face was so clear that he couldn't understand it any more. Feeling ashamed and ashamed.

The second reason is that the children are all the flesh and blood born from her pregnancy in October.

It is precisely because she herself has not received the love of her parents that she has a kind of compensation mentality for her children, she wants to be better to them, and she wants to pour her most sincere love on them.

What's more, when they were first born, the two baby dolls were so small that they couldn't even keep their eyes open when they were hugged in their arms. Regarding bone and blood, Lin Suizi's heart has long softened into a ball, how could he still have the mood to think about it.

So in his own small home, Lin Suizi lived a happy life.

That's why, she is becoming more and more lazy to go out, unless she has to work, like a homeless house girl.

Maybe it's because it's really easy.

After sending Lin Xiangxue and Lin Maizi out, Lin Suizi ran back into the yard and asked curiously to Jiang Shi who was lying on the reclining chair, "Did you see what Lin Maizi looked like just now, what happened to her? ? Depressed, I didn't seem to say anything too much when I was eating, right?"

Jiang Shi closed his eyes and shook his fan, with a lazy tone: "Maybe it's because you gave someone a bag of clothes and a watch, and you're jealous."

Lin Suizi thought about it for a while and shook his head: "That's not right. Before I handed something to my cousin, when she was eating, she was like that. Her whole person seemed to be soulless and nervous."

"That is to see that our family conditions are good, and our hearts are unbalanced. You also know that your cousin has no other hobbies in this life, just love to compare with you."

".......Too."

After all, as soon as he entered the house in the afternoon, Lin Maizi stared at various objects in the room with a pair of eyes.

I looked at the refrigerator for a while, touched the fan, and turned on the rice cooker.

And before looking at the same big object, the expression is a bit lost, which makes people look horrified.

but......

"I remember that Xu Weidong is doing well now."

Lin Suizi frowned slightly, "It seems that he is not a small official in their military region. The furnishings in our home are not too new to Xu Weidong, right? Is she unbalanced because of this?"

"She didn't follow Xu Weidong with the army. She still lives in her hometown now."

"Oh, too."

Lin Suizi lowered her head and continued to meditate, pulling away the two children who were rolling on the ground and fighting, and then patted Jiang Shi on the shoulder and asked, "But why do you think Lin Maizi is so worried about me? I'm not right. What is she doing? If you really think about it, isn't what her in-laws-in-law and Xu Weidong's lover do to her even more excessive? Why is she now living peacefully with her in-laws and concubines, but she can't get along with me? Where on earth did I provoke her to provoke her, I still can't figure it out."

Jiang Shi opened his eyes and smiled: "She saw you the day before yesterday and you were quite enthusiastic, didn't she buy sorbet for Cheng Yi and He Ran?"

"That's all pretend."

Lin Suizi waved his hand, "If I can't even see that my whole life is in vain, hey, don't interrupt, help me analyze and analyze, what kind of psychology does she have in my cousin?"

"...Why are you talking like the old man Hua in front of you now?"

"Didn't I learn knowledge from him? I'm used to listening to it every day... Can you show some respect to others, they are also teachers after all, and it's rude to talk like an old man!"

"I'm sorry." Jiang Shi apologized very perfunctorily, "Mr. Hua is really knowledgeable and careful with words, but I have no knowledge and no manners... It's not that I won't give you an analysis, I just want to say that you analyze What's the use of this, anyway, you won't have contact with her in the future."

The man spread his hands innocently, "And you must be wasting your time looking for me to analyze, and I'm not familiar with your cousin."

"Aren't you the best at trying to figure out people's hearts?"

Lin Suizi scratched his arm, "I have a guess in my heart, but I'm not sure, I'm not asking if you think the same as me, anyway, you're empty now, you can analyze it. "

Jiang Shi had to roll his eyes and think for three seconds.

"It may be that her heart is higher than the sky." He said, "It's like a lion that fights for territory with a tiger, but doesn't bother to deal with the blood-sucking mosquitoes. Maybe in your cousin's heart, she doesn't look down on those people, so I disdain to target. But you, she just wants to compete to prove that she is no worse than you, and to make up for the lack of self-esteem in her heart, this Kaner can pass. In short, if you live worse than her, said Maybe she'll let you go."

"......Oh."

Seeing her expression, Jiang Si was a little curious: "It seems that you think differently from me, what did you think?"

"I was thinking..."

Lin Suizi paused for a while, then said softly, "I thought she might still have a crush on you, so she regarded me as a rival in love."

"..."

Jiang Shi picked up Jiang Heran, who was on the leg of his trousers, and put it back on the ground. He didn't ask her to touch the ticket in his trouser pocket, so he stole it to buy ice cream for his brother.

This pair of children seems to be addicted recently. They have to eat sorbet every day, the weather has cooled down, and they have to have diarrhea and go to the hospital to cry for half the night.

He took out all the money in his pocket, stuffed it into Lin Suizi's jacket pocket, and rubbed her head with a smile: "Then I think you're right, after all, I'm in such a good condition, and there are indeed many women. The ideal object in the hearts of comrades. So you have to catch my sweet pastry, or you will regret it for the rest of your life, and you will not be able to cry back when you cry."

......

This is the first time Lin Suizi has seen such a shameless **** man.