Alpha Tristan

The next day was hell. 

As soon as I had woken up from a sleep that didn't come easily, it was like something had changed. The atmosphere felt cold and that could have been due to the cold climate, but there was a sense of grief that I felt in my c.h.e.s.t that I knew wasn't my own. 

It was heart wrenching and deep, and I instantly knew that Tristan was in pain. I gripped at my c.h.e.s.t and the cold sheet of his side of the bed. Closing my eyes, I tried to speak in his mind but came up to a barrier that I knew I wasn't going to get through. 

He had mindlinks with over five hundred people—he knew how to block everyone out and he was damn good at it too. I began to have a throbbing headache before I decided to give up, falling back against my pillow. 

It wasn't that early in the morning, but Tristan hadn't come home the night before. I had no clue where he was but figured he needed some space to think, no matter how much I wanted him to hold me in his arms and tell me it would all be okay. 

The pain in my c.h.e.s.t got so strong that I couldn't resist the urge to cry. The tears were not my own because I had never known sorrow as he had. What surprised me was the fact that if I could feel his pain that strongly, his pack could too and that was why everything felt different. 

Throwing the silk covers from my body, I reached for my phone and punched in Brielle's number. It went straight to voicemail and I sighed disappointedly, knowing that I would have to take matters into my own hands. I had no idea where Tristan was but one of the best things about the mark was that I would be able to seek him out myself. 

He felt far away though, and I had no idea whether or not that was emotionally or physically. 

Pulling on one of his sweaters, I went to freshen up before heading down to the kitchen. In the middle of the hallway, I bumped into my mother and watched her begin to spout her apology. I stared at her blankly and shook my head.

"Mum, I don't want to hear it. You meant what you said and you're not sorry." My c.h.e.s.t began to feel heavier when I realised the distress I felt was my own. It was like my mum wanted to sabotage my relationship with Tristan and I couldn't forgive her for not letting me tell him about my biological father on my own terms. 

"Kara—"

"No." I adamantly stopped her in her tracks. "You keep thinking that I'll choose someone I've never met and hate over my own mate. H-he's everything to me, Mum." My throat closed up and it suddenly dawned on me just how much my feelings for him had changed. I had gone from never wanting him near me to always craving his presence. I craved him more than ever. "He's everything to me—and you keep trying to ruin that. I can't tell you enough that the man you loved was a monster so stay out of my relationship. Let me be happy."

She stood in silence, a shocked expression plastered across her face at my confession. I must have been the last person she would have expected to fall for the Alpha Tristan, but I couldn't help it. If his absence now was indicative of his impending rejection of me, I didn't think I could survive the heartbreak let alone even think of forgiving my mother. 

"You don't know if he—"

"Ask every single person in this damn pack!" I tried to keep my emotions at bay, but her incessant defending of such a cruel man pushed me passed the boiling point. "Ask every single person who lost someone because of him. Did you know that Tristan was neglected as a child?" I knew that I had to make her see the light, and if she still didn't agree then, I didn't know what I would do. 

Her expression sobered up and a light frown pulled at her lips. She wasn't heartless, I knew that. She was about nurture and growth just as much as I was, and she couldn't hate a helpless child. 

"He lost both his parents at a young age, saw his pack fall under a tyrannical reign and all through that he was isolated. He didn't have a loving childhood like me, Mum. He wasn't that fortunate." I felt myself getting upset again with it all. "He wasn't fed and he must've thought the whole world was against him. My mate came within an inch of death for years and I had no clue about it. If he didn't kill my 'father' then he would've died. He wasn't your mate, but Tristan is mine and I swear to God, Mum, I can't lose Tristan."

I set my jaw in an effort to control my emotions and blinked the tears away as my mother stood there in silence. She stepped towards me and like yesterday, I took a step back.

"I don't want you to say sorry unless you mean it. And until then, I don't want to speak to you." Side-stepping her, I walked down the stairs and grabbed my coat before leaving the house. 

As soon as I stood in the snow, I was stumped. There was a heavy sense of grief in the air, I could practically taste it and it was bitter and strong. I was more than confused—I had no idea what had happened and I hoped with everything in me that I wasn't the cause of this grief.

No. I couldn't be. He didn't feel like this when he found out so it had to be something else.

Heading towards the gates, a shiver surged along my spine as the three sentinels pulled them open. They seemed more menacing than ever and I soon realised that I wasn't the only one feeling what Tristan was.

I could barely stand to look at them and walked across the snow in the direction of the training ground. It didn't take long and my eyebrows lowered in confusion when I saw it was empty. It was like it was a barren wasteland and it was unsettling. 

Reaching for my phone, I dialled Brielle's number again and was filled with relief when she answered. "Brielle!" I exclaimed, clutching the device a little tighter. "What's going on today. I can't find anyone."

There was silence on her end for a few torturous moments. "Would you be able to meet me at the training grounds? Christian and I will explain everything."

A frown quickly made its way onto my face at her sorrowful tone. I couldn't even ignore the pain I felt. At that thought, panic settled deep in my c.h.e.s.t. There was no way everyone would feel that upset if Tristan's pain wasn't strong. 

"I'm here already." I glanced around, seeing the empty field blanketed in snow. 

"We'll be there soon, Kara." She hung up the phone after we said goodbye and I tucked my device back into my pocket as I waited for them. 

Before long, Brielle and Christian came into view hand in hand with frowns that weren't hard to miss. It was odd not seeing Brielle with her usual smile and I felt my heart drop at the severity of it all. She wordlessly pulled me into a tight hug and Christian nodded in greeting towards me. 

"Are you okay? I-Is Tristan okay?"

Brielle's frown deepened and she shook her head with a sigh. "Today is the most painful day of the year for us all, and most importantly, Alpha Tristan. It's the anniversary of his parents' death."

It was like the wind had been knocked out of my lungs. The thought of Tristan suffering on his own made my eyes water and I lifted my hand to brush over his mark on my neck. I wanted to be with him more than ever, but I didn't know if he wanted to be with me at that moment. It must have been why he wanted to surprise me with an 'apology of sorts'.

He knew he was going to shut me out. 

"Where is he?"

Christian spoke up next. "He stays at their graves for most of the day. Over the years, I've learnt that he needs his space. We don't let him self-destruct but he blocks out everyone and everything—it's why you weren't able to find him through your mark."

I wrapped my arms around myself, disappointed that I wasn't able to be there for him. I was his mate. If there was one thing he needed, it would be me just like I would need him if I was ever going through something. 

"There's so much pain in his heart. We mourn for him and for everything that he's lost." Brielle placed a hand on my shoulder and squeezed it in a comforting manner. "I believe you're the only person who can help him through this the right way. He's always been alone every year. Don't let this year be the same."

Casting my gaze downwards, I sighed and held myself tighter. "I don't even know if he wants me anymore." My heart twisted painfully at the thought of it. I took a deep breath and blew out what they needed to know in order to understand better. "Samuel Carew was my father. I never met him, but he and my mum were together."

Both their eyes widened and Brielle's jaw dropped. "What?" she whispered. "Oh my god, Kara."

Christian stared at me in disbelief and I didn't miss the shaky breath that fell from his lips. "I never would have expected that. But if you didn't know him then it shouldn't break you. I can't speak for Alpha because he suffered the most at the old alphas' hands, but I know how he feels about you."

Brielle nodded in agreement, still looking shocked as she reached for Christian's hand. "You're mates for a reason, Kara. You're already his entire world—we all see it."

My lips lifted into a grateful smile and I swallowed down the emotion that gathered at the back of my throat, desperate to choke me up as I spoke. "I never thought this would happen, but he's my world too. I can't imagine not being with him now."

Brielle's eyes finally lit up. "That's amazing to hear, Luna. I'm glad you feel that way."

Christian cracked a relieved smile. "Our Alpha needs you, Luna."

I brought Brielle into another hug and smiled at Christian before closing my eyes and focusing on speaking in Tristan's mind. Surprisingly, I felt the barrier fall and I could instantly tell that he was tired, mentally and physically. 

Pain surged through my c.h.e.s.t as I blew out a breath, telling him what I hoped he needed to hear.  'I'm here for you, Tristan. It's you. It's always going to be you.'