Alpha Tristan

Two weeks.

That was how long Tristan managed to ignore me for. It was clear that what I had said hit a nerve, so much so that he could barely look at me. I couldn't complain because it was exactly what I wanted, but I couldn't shake the feeling of loneliness I felt.

The house was cold and dead. I barely saw anyone other than him, and it was always in passing. The place said true to its given name—it seemed like the land of the dead. I often wondered if he really did have a pack, but all doubts were squashed when he would leave in the morning and return at night smelling like other wolves.

In the name of loneliness, I wanted to meet his pack or at least someone who could hold a conversation with me. The most interaction I got from him was the sound of his footfalls passing my door on the way to his room. He didn't sleep much, but even with the copious amount of hours he was awake, not one was spent at least looking at me.

For the first week and half, I welcomed his indifference—it made me feel better. But the downside was that it made me miss my mother even more. I cried myself to sleep every night, and I knew he could hear me or was at least awake when I did. I could hear him tossing and turning in his bed.

I threw the warm covers off my body and pulled at the long-sleeved top I was wearing. It was early morning and I rushed to the window to see him outside in the snow, an axe in hand as he steadied the log of wood before bringing his arm down in one swift blow.

It was like I was watching in slow-motion. The wood first splintered before completely snapping in half, and he had only struck it with one hand. It was effortless and as much as I hated to admit it, his strength sparked feelings of d.e.s.i.r.e in me.

He seemed angry and I knew that it was a deadly emotion when it came to him. He split a thick log of wood with his b.a.r.e hands and from the window, I could see the way his lip lifted into an angry snarl. The deep sound struck a chord of something in me—something I didn't want to register.

I wanted to go to him and press my palms to his cheeks, smoothing out the lines that carved in his face in anger.

That part of me won when I quickly ran down the stairs, light on my feet so he wouldn't hear me and disappear before I could even get a glimpse of his eyes. I stood at the half opened door and watched as he picked up another log and tightened his strong hands around it. It seemed like he didn't know I was there, and he continued to wreak havoc on the pieces of wood as I watched him.

But then, he sighed and properly wedged the axe in the snow.

"If you want to sneak up on anyone, don't breathe so heavily—I could hear you all the way from your bedroom."

I drew in a breathe and waited in bated silence as he turned around, looking at me for the first time in two weeks. He would've looked exactly the same if it wasn't for the dark circles under his eyes.

He wasn't sleeping at all.

Instinctively, I took a step forward without even realising that I was barefoot. I felt a light sting, but nothing too painful. Each foot moved in front of the other until I was standing in front of him, peering up at his face with a newfound sense of curiosity. Two weeks of distance brewed a feeling in me that I couldn't deny.

The mate pull triumphed in the moment that I lifted my arms to hold his face in my hands. He didn't say anything and instead matched my stare as my thumbs gently pressed at the skin under his eyes. I felt the electricity surge from my fingertips all the way down to the tips of my toes that almost sunk into the snow.

It was like I was on autopilot, not myself as the pull took over me. In that moment, I wasn't the Kara that vowed to hate him, I was the Kara that was somehow gaining a sense of concern for him. He didn't seem like the cruel and unjust alpha I'd heard about in the stories. Such a heartless beast wouldn't look so tired.

When the urge to press my lips to his deep rosy ones became too strong to ignore, I dropped my hands from his face and directed my gaze to the thick blanket of snow below me.

"I want to ask you something." I choked out when I managed to douse the burning fire of d.e.s.i.r.e I felt for the man in front of me. He didn't say anything so I took it as a cue to continue. "I want a friend—someone to talk to so I don't feel so lonely here. It's too quiet."

A blank expression covered his face. "I can deal with the fact that you think you hate me." He replied with a tinge of bitterness in his tone. "But I won't subject my pack to the so called hatred you have for us. We know the rumours about us, but I won't let them experience the hatred firsthand."

I frowned up at him and acknowledged the fact that he knew what people said about him. Could he truly blame me then for how I felt about him?

"I don't hate your pack—"

"But you hate me." He interrupted in a matter-of-fact tone. "And every single one of them share a connection with me. I'm their alpha so if you hate me, you hate my pack."

Something stirred within me. "Am I not their Luna?"

He blew out a laugh, but it was humourless and bitter. "For you to be anything to them, you'd have to acknowledge what we are to each other. And you don't seem to want to acknowledge that any time soon." He didn't even have to cross his arms like me to seem defensive. It showed in the way he squared his shoulders and towered over me more than usual.

I didn't back down and stepped up onto my tiptoes until my nose almost touched his. "I do acknowledge what we are—I have acknowledged it, Tristan."

Anger flared in his eyes. "But you haven't accepted a f.u.c.k.i.n.g thing. You think you hate me, Kara, but who came after who?" The tip of his nose pushed against mine in defiance. "You want me no matter how much you like to think you don't. You burn for me. It's why you can say my name without realising it. It's why you want me to take you upstairs and make you say my name."

I gasped and struggled between the anger I felt for him and the d.e.s.i.r.e. My hands pushed at his c.h.e.s.t but he grabbed my wrists in an ironclad grip, pulling me towards him as he silenced my protesting growl with his lips.

I could barely think as he kissed my mouth ferociously, letting me feel every bit of his anger as my c.h.e.s.t pressed against his.

It was a stream of l.u.s.t that flowed through him, his receptive growl dying on my lips as he pushed back against me. I couldn't do anything but respond to his addictive touch, moving my lips against his. It was hot and demanding and the roughness of it shocked me back to reality.

For the first time, I acknowledged how I almost sighed his name against his lips before I f.o.r.c.i.b.l.y pulled myself from his arms. I wanted to get away from him so bad that I lost my footing and fell straight back onto the snow.

My lips ached to be pressed against his again, but I reigned in the overwhelming feeling of l.u.s.t for him. It was in that moment that I knew for myself just why l.u.s.t was such a deadly sin. It made me want to forget everything I seemingly knew about him and melt into his arms again.

His c.h.e.s.t heaved and his lips looked s.e.xily flushed. The anger disappeared from his face as the realisation of what he did washed over his face. Then, an accomplished smirk pulled at the same lips that I wanted against mine again.

I stared up at him with blazing fury as I flew to my feet, pushing at his c.h.e.s.t like I wanted to in the first place before he kissed me. He didn't budge, but it didn't deter my efforts. "You're such an asshole!"

After a few more tries, I saw his hands lift to hold my wrists again, and I quickly dropped them so I wouldn't find myself in the same predicament that I did a few moments ago. His eyes were dark and I could've swore that I could see myself in them as he smirked down at me.

"An asshole you clearly want." He quipped, gripping the handle of the axe and pulling it clean from the snow as he picked up another piece of wood. I quickly moved so I wasn't in front of him and crossed my arms over my c.h.e.s.t defensively. "When you accept that fact, I'll gladly give you what you want."

I swallowed down the sound of appreciation that fought to make its way out at his words and almost screamed in frustration. I hated him more than anything, and all of it reminded me why I wanted to stay away from him in the first place.

Turning around, I stormed back towards the door and slammed it behind me, hoping that he would follow the routine that he established every day for the past two weeks and leave for the rest of the day.

But, it seemed like he wanted to aggravate me because he continued to gather firewood for the rest of the morning. I angrily tore off my clothes that were covered in snow when I reached my bedroom again and began to run the water for my bath and poured the soap into it.

I stripped down to my b.a.r.e skin and dipped a toe in the water, testing the temperature before I lowered my body into the tub, closing my eyes as I relaxed. Every bit of me burned for him and I hated how he was right. I never realised that I'd called him by his name.

I always called him the alpha instead of his actual name. I sighed into the air, sliding down until the water covered my hair. The curls became more defined and weighed heavier around my shoulders as I emerged for air, unable to stop him from infiltrating my thoughts again.

His fingers pressed against my wrists, heating my skin despite the material that separated them from really touching. I couldn't get the feel of his mouth pressed hotly against mine out of my head. Nor could I forget how perfectly my body fit in his arms.

That's exactly why you're mates. My mind taunted before I pushed the thought out. I could never accept the fact. I felt like a prisoner because I didn't willingly come, not really. The mate pull forced me to come with him so in essence, he forced me to come with him.

Our kiss didn't change one fact. I didn't want him—not in the way he truly wanted me to. Physically, I couldn't deny my attraction towards him, but I could never love him or accept that he was capable of loving me.

A heart as cold as his couldn't love anything but death.

I lingered in the bath until the water turned cold and my skin pruned up. I dried off and wrapped the towel tightly around my body as I walked towards my wardrobe, pulling on a thick white robe as I sat down to apply lotion to my skin. It had lemon oil in it, which smelled absolutely divine.

My body sensed him as he climbed up the stairs. He was silent, but I could tell he was there because of the way my body yearned for his touch again. I tied the robe around my body and turned to the wardrobe again, picking out my clothes. If he thought he was going to talk to me or even touch me again, he had another thing coming.

As I pulled on my jeans, I could tell that he was stood at my door. It had been an hour and a half since our argument, and to my chagrin, he stayed at the house, doing whatever he did during the day. I had absolutely no clue what an alpha did, especially since I didn't cross paths with my alpha much unless there was a pack meeting.

I had spent most of my time out on the fields with my mother, often tending to the plants. It was our happy place and we had an affinity with nature. Closing my eyes when I felt my heart ache for my mother, I felt the tears spring to my eyes when his fist finally knocked on the door.

My throat clogged up and I quickly wiped at the tear that fell as I coughed lightly. At least he had the decency to knock. I couldn't say anything and after a few moments of silence, he opened the door anyway, instantly meeting my eyes as he stepped into the room.

I wasn't much of a good actor or liar, so my emotions were clear on my face as he scanned my appearance. A light frown pulled at his lips but he stayed exactly where he was, on the opposite side of the room.

Even though I hated him, I wanted to ask him one favour since I knew his answer would decide how I treated him from then on. "I want to call my mother."

A long bout of silence went by before he spoke. "We can do that." Silently, he gestured for me to follow him and after a brief moment of hesitance, I trailed behind him down the hallway to what I presumed was his office.

All the rooms in the house were painfully similar, but I didn't think much of it as he pulled out a phone from his desk, one I knew he didn't use on a day to day basis. Probably because of the call costs. He handed it to me, purposely making sure that his fingers brushed against mine before he stepped back, allowing me to dial my mother's number.

It rang for a few seconds before she picked up. "Kara?" her voice was thick with sorrow and it seemed as if she had been crying since the day I left. "Kara, is that you?"

I couldn't control my tears. "It's me, Mum. I'm here."

A sob ripped through the line and my heart shattered in my c.h.e.s.t. "I've missed you so much, my flower. I can barely stand to be around anyone since Alpha Ramiel told me you had left." She gasped. "Why did you leave with him, Kara. Don't you know who he is?"

I didn't glance up at him despite wanting to. He didn't seem like he was going to give me any privacy, so whatever he heard was his own fault. "I had to. Alpha Ramiel threatened to exile me if I didn't. I wanted to stay, but I couldn't."

She practically wailed loudly through the phone and my legs gave way underneath me as I fell to the floor, heartbroken to hear such pain in my mother's voice. "I would've went with you, Kara. I'd rather be exiled than have you stay with that monster. It's all my fault that he's your mate." I shut my eyes tightly as she continued. "You know I'll never regret having you, but your father wasn't my mate. It's the universe punishing me for having what wasn't intended for me. I'm so sorry, Kara. I'm so sorry this has happened to you."

"Mum, listen to me." I cleared my throat and wiped at my face, trying to be strong for her. I couldn't even bring myself to care about the fact that she had shared something about us to someone I didn't want knowing anything about me. "It's not your fault. And I would rather die than see you exiled. I would never jeopardise your safety like that."

"Kara, you're all I have." She sniffed. "We'll tend to the fields like we always do—the flowers are dying. I can't bring myself to do it without you."

I buried my face in my hands. "Mum, I'll see you again, I promise. I made a decision to put the pack first, and I intend to stick by it."

"He'll kill you, Kara." She frantically whispered. "You know the story—he killed his first mate because she rejected him. You're safer in exile."

At that, he made his presence known with a low growl. My gaze lifted to meet his, dark and downright pissed. I quickly uttered a goodbye to my mother before hanging up the phone, bolting to my feet.

"Is that what people think?" he hissed, visibly shaking with anger. "That I could ever be capable of killing the one person fated to love me?"

I backed up against the wall when it dawned on me just how pissed he was. I couldn't even linger on his words and how he expected me to love him.

"You're the only mate I'll ever have. You're the only person I've ever touched. That story is exactly that—a story. It's not real." He growled out, closing his hands into a fist before shutting his eyes in an attempt to calm himself down.

When I saw it wasn't working, I did the one thing that I hoped would work. His anger scared me because it made him unpredictable, even more so than usual. Stepping towards him, I wrapped my arms around his body, resting my head on his c.h.e.s.t.

He went stiff before he finally calmed down, relaxing his fists as he breathed the tension out of his body. Before he could take my hug as anything but strategic, I pulled back and almost missed the look of longing on his face.

Oh no. I thought, knowing that my action had given him false hope. I had used the mate pull to my advantage, and in doing so made him feel as if I felt the same. I knew I didn't, especially after the phone call with my mother. But I did realise that everything was not what it seemed.

He was not what he seemed.

It was silent between us for a long time until he spoke again. "I've given you no reason to think that I'd ever hurt you. I'd never want to."

If Tristan was anything, it was honest. He truly meant what he said. I put more space in between us, placing his phone on his desk before I moved towards the door. I was maxed out and all I wanted was a good nap to make me forget everything that happened in the morning.

Before I could leave, he stopped me by speaking again. "You want a friend? You want some company?" he paused briefly to let me remember what I had asked him earlier that morning. "Promise me that you'll give my pack a chance. You don't have to give me one, but they don't deserve the things thought about them."

With my back towards him, I tilted my head to the side to let him know I had heard him. I may have hated him, but I'd never heard any horrific stories about his pack, only ever about their alpha. They deserved a chance, even if he didn't.

I may have started off a chain of events by agreeing to his offer though. "I promise I'll give them a chance. But just one person to start off with—I'm not good with crowds." I met his gaze to solidify my promise.

He stared back at me before nodding his head once. And just like that, I'd made my first ever compromise with him.