Alpha Tristan

When I had returned to the hospital, things were chillingly silent. Matthijs and Dahliah were seated on a chair, looking just as worried as they had before I left to speak to Mindy. All the anger evaporated from my body and I was just tired. 

I craved Kara more than I ever did before. I needed to see her eyes, I needed to hear her voice and feel her arms around me. I could barely keep myself up as the sound of her scream from earlier flooded my ears. 

It was full of pain and fear, and I never wanted to hear it again. The thing that scared me the most was that I would never hear anything from her again. I steadied myself against the wall and closed my eyes tightly as Christian came from behind me and placed a hand on my shoulder. 

I hadn't felt that much pain since my parents died. She was everything to me and I didn't know if I could handle losing anyone else. 

"She's a fighter, Tristan. She won't give up." He spoke quietly but against the stillness of the hospital, I heard him loud and clear. 

I couldn't bring myself to speak because I feared I would break down. If I broke down, I needed Kara to be with me, telling me everything would be okay. I swallowed down the thick emotion that threatened to choke me as Nuka came through the double doors. 

He pulled off his surgical mask and I forced myself to ignore the blood that stained his scrubs. His face expressed stress and he blew out a sigh, lifting his gaze to mine. 

"Our Luna is still alive. She's stable but she hasn't woken yet."

My stiff posture relaxed as I sighed in deep relief. I stepped forward and tried my hardest to control myself. "I need to see her." My voice was raw and full of pain. 

Dahliah stared at me and frowned, staying still for a moment before she laid back against Matthijs' c.h.e.s.t. She gave me the green light to go first and I nodded my head in gratitude. My heart was in my throat as he gestured to the doors behind him. 

I followed gingerly behind him, feeling my heart rate increase with every step closer to her. Nuka left me at the threshold and I stepped into the room, closing the door behind me. When my gaze fell upon her connected to machines and her eyes closed, I released a shaky breath. 

Pulling up a chair, I sat by her side and reached for her hand. I lifted it to my mouth and pressed a kiss to her soft skin. I couldn't take my eyes off her and c.a.r.e.s.sed her hair softly. It was like seeing her made everything feel better. 

"Keep hanging on, αγάπη μου." I shakily whispered, leaning forward and resting my forehead on her shoulder. Her scent was overpowered by the smell of antibacterial and I screwed my eyes shut. "I need you. I can't do this anymore without you."

I knew she could sense me but she was in a deep sleep. Her body needed to heal and I leaned up to press my lips gently to hers. Her heart rate increased slightly and the first smile in hours climbed onto my face. I kissed her softly again and whispered against her lips. 

"I love you, Kara. With all my heart." I dug my face into the crook of her neck and breathed in. I needed every bit of her scent as I could get. It was my very own sedative, calming me down and reassuring me that she was still alive. 

I took a seat on the edge of the bed and leaned back up. As I stared down at her, she was still the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Her beauty was captivating and I had been enchanted since the very moment I first laid eyes on her. I lifted my fingers to gently c.a.r.e.s.s her face and it was then I couldn't hold it back anymore. 

I squeezed her hand and felt my head drop as I silently cried. Tears were rare for me. I had only really cried when both my parents died and on the anniversary of their deaths. I couldn't control my emotions when it came to Kara. She controlled my every feeling and I slowly fell forward, crying into her c.h.e.s.t. 

The sob racked my body when the thought of something going wrong briefly passed my mind. She wasn't out of the woods just yet. I wished she would open her eyes and look at me how she always did. Seeing those beautiful browns gleaming with love for me gave me true happiness, something I didn't ever think I'd have again. 

I clutched onto her hospital gown, pressing my lips reverentially to her exposed skin. I took in as much as I could about her until everything hit me all at once. I was tired…so tired and I could barely keep my eyes open as I kicked my shoes off and laid down as best as I could. 

The bed was uncomfortable for me but I wouldn't leave her side, nor would I be able to sleep without her. I feared I would have a nightmare and if fate decided to be cruel to me once more, I would wake up to one. 

Resting my head on her c.h.e.s.t, I laid kisses on her knuckles and continued speaking to her through my low sobs. "You have to stay alive, Kara. There's so much we haven't done yet." My throat closed up and I choked out my next words. "I want you to see my home city. I want a family with you. Kara, we have to grow old together. We didn't find each other for it all to end this quickly—we deserve a lifetime of love."

I closed my eyes and murmured one more thing before I drifted into a deep sleep. "My life will be wasted if I don't spend it loving you."

—————

"Alpha…" The voice cut through my deep haze. "Alpha."

I forced my eyes open and saw Christian, standing over me with a deep frown. Panic flooded within me and I quickly sat up, glancing down at a sleeping Kara. "What's wrong?"

Standing up from the bed, I winced as I stretched. The bed was more uncomfortable than I had anticipated but I slept, which was more than I was expecting. As I glanced at my frowning beta, I sighed. I knew my pack were beginning to feel my pain. There was a limit to how much I could block things out for them and when it got too much to handle, the limit would be crossed. 

"You should freshen up and change your clothes. I'll stay with her." He must have known my response because he continued before I could get a word out. "We all know how painful this is for you. Being an alpha is good for you, it takes your mind off things and the last thing you should be doing right now is overthinking. Go home and then come back."

I knew he had a point. Submerging myself in my duties helped me immensely in the beginning. The war wounds were fresh and finally being an alpha to them all helped me heal. The pack kept me together as best they could until Kara came along. 

I gripped onto her hand and stood there for a long moment, staring down at her. The room was silent and I knew I had to give her mother a chance to see her. I had been with Kara the whole night. Tilting my head slightly, I couldn't help but spill all my feelings to my beta. 

"Christian…if she dies, I won't be able to carry on." I glanced at him with sorrowful eyes. "I've had every person I've ever loved ripped away from me. I don't have it in me to survive it again."

He felt my pain and he rubbed at his c.h.e.s.t with a grimace. I tried to block it out but it was like a storm inside me, torrential and uncontrollable. 

"You won't lose her. You have to believe you won't lose her." His voice was firm until it lightly shook. Christian stepped forward and placed a hand on my shoulder. "Life has been so cruel to you. She saved you from the darkness and the kind of light Luna has been in your life won't be put out that easily."

I watched her c.h.e.s.t rise and fall with slow breaths and leaned forward to press my lips to her forehead. She was colder than normal and I lingered for a few long moments as I closed my eyes. I felt the familiar high I always felt when I touched her and I willed my tears back. 

"She saved me yet I could barely protect her. Mindy managed to hurt her with all of us around. I want to say I would rather I never met Kara than have her die because of me but I'm a selfish man. Her love makes me feel alive."

"The only person that has failed to do anything is Mindy. Whatever her sick plan was when trying to kill your mate failed. The pack isn't going to fall to her feet and our allegiance is with the Luna. Your mate bond protects her and now she has the pack bond. She will not die."

I brushed my fingers down the gentle slope of her small nose before resting them on her perfect lips. I so desperately wanted to hear her sweet voice pass through them. Lowering my head and kissing her delicately for a short moment, I murmured my response against her mouth. 

"She's not going to die."

Standing upright, I clapped a hand on his shoulder and forced myself to leave the room before I could change my mind. Dahliah and Matthijs were drinking coffee and her eyes darted to mine when she caught my scent. 

We simply stared at each other until she cleared her throat. 

"I feel your pain and I get it now." Everyone seemed to be frowning. "You love my daughter and I know it isn't your fault. Just promise me the bitch who did this will get what she deserves."

I nodded. "She will. I promise."

She stood up and for the first time ever, she pulled me into a hug. I was shocked at first and had no idea what to do until my body moved for me. I wrapped my arms around her and for some beautiful reason, it made me feel closer to Kara. 

When Dahliah pulled back, she patted my shoulder. "My daughter will get through this and you will get to lead this pack with her."

I nodded solemnly and my heart cried out for that. I wanted a future with her—I wanted to finally have someone by my side as my equal in leadership. We left the conversation at that as Dahliah and Matthijs went towards Kara's room.  I left the hospital with a heavy heart and barely made it back to my house in one piece. 

Her scent hit me from all sides and my knees felt weak as I made it to our bed. I sunk down against the sheets and took everything in. I closed my eyes and I imagined she was laying beside me, c.a.r.e.s.sing my hair like she always did to help me sleep. 

I didn't let myself indulge too much in what wasn't possible at that moment and dragged myself to the shower. I freshened up in record time and was pulling on some new clothes when I heard the Hounds in my mind. 

' Alpha, Mindy requests an audience with you.'

 The growl instinctively fell from my lips. I needed to release my pent-up anger, and she was the only one deserving of it. 

'I'm on my way.'