Alpha Tristan

Tristan was unusually quiet as we walked towards the borders. His hand was in mine and I c.a.r.e.s.sed the back with my thumb to get his attention. "Hey," I spoke gently, peering up at him as his gaze met mine.

He blinked back into focus. "Sorry, baby. My mind is somewhere else."

"What's wrong?"

Tristan sighed and directed his gaze upwards to the clear sky. "It's their death anniversary tomorrow. I don't want the pack to feel my pain when everyone is so happy again."

I stopped us from walking and grabbed both his hands. "We're with you, Tristan. I'm with you." I pulled a page from his book and placed one hand on my heart. "This belongs to you. Your pain is my pain and we get through pain together. Always have, always will."

He cracked a small smile and cupped the back of my neck to bring me forward. I stepped onto my tiptoes as he moulded his lips to mine gently. He kissed me slowly as I wrapped my arms around his neck, and I knew he found comfort in my embrace. We pulled back moments later and Tristan pressed his lips to my forehead.

His kisses were unsaid declarations of love and I knew he was grateful for my support.

We began walking again and he wrapped an arm around my shoulder, keeping me close to him. We didn't speak until we got to the northern border. Salik was standing guard and bowed his head when we approached him.

Tristan greeted him before getting straight down to business. "Border security is being tightened so Markus is being added to your squad." I noticed a few people were stationed all along the border. "Two new squads will be formed too."

Salik took in all the information and confirmed it with a nod. "We're currently clearing the border of any traces of wolfsbane. The good news is they've only been found by the western border."

"That's good." Tristan patted him on the shoulder. "Keep it up, Salik." He addressed the entire squad. "Well done all of you."

We didn't linger to distract them any longer and made our way home. The walk back was more conversational but I knew Tristan's behaviour would change tomorrow. He seemed to relive both of his parents' death on that day, and only allowed himself twenty-four hours to fully remember them and what he lost.

I knew I just had to be there for him.

—————

When the sun rose the next day, it brought around the one day of the year that we all dread.

Over the years, Tristan learnt how to control his emotions better but there was always a heaviness in everyone's c.h.e.s.t. I had soon learnt that no amount of time could heal his wounds.

When I woke up, he wasn't in bed and his side was losing its warmth. Climbing out, I reached for my silk robe and tied it at the waist as I sensed him downstairs. He was seated in front of the island drinking coffee but his shoulders were tense. I quietly walked towards him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders from behind.

He lifted his piece of toast to my mouth and I stared at the side of his face as I took a bite. On days like this, I knew that Tristan didn't need to talk automatically—he needed physical affection. I kissed his cheek and let him pull me onto his l.a.p. His arm wrapped around my waist and he stared up at me.

It was silent between us and he spoke with his deep morning voice. "Kiss me, Kara."

My gaze dropped to his lips before I leaned forward and kissed him softly. It was comforting and I c.a.r.e.s.sed his cheek with delicate fingers. His lips moved against mine and he slowly deepened the kiss. We sat there, kissing for longer than a good morning kiss had to be and he focused all his energy into me.

When we pulled back, Tristan gently pulled my hair free of the tie so my curls fell past my shoulders. His fingertips gently c.a.r.e.s.sed the nape of my neck until he threaded his fingers through my hair. My hand rested on his shoulder and I brushed my fingers over his mark.

He shuddered and broke the silence. "I really wish they could've met you and our beautiful baby girl."

I leaned forward again and pressed my lips to his temple. "I know." I closed my eyes as I felt him hug me tighter. "They would be so proud of everything you've achieved, Tristan." I pulled back and linked our hands together. He slid his other hand down my back and pulled me closer so there was absolutely no space between us.

Tristan needed to feel close to me and holding me helped him with that. His pain would always be there but he had always told me every year that I filled the hole in his heart, and that he had felt lonely his entire life. With me, and Alina, there wasn't a day that went by without him feeling loved and wholeheartedly needed.

"When I visit their graves…" Tristan glanced up at me with dark blue eyes. "Can you come with me this time?"

I stared up at as I felt the shock slightly ripple through me. Every year, he spent time at his parents' grave by himself. It was something he had to do but I had never gone with him. Gently c.a.r.e.s.sing his face, I nodded. "Of course."

He finished his breakfast and set his plate and mug aside to stand up. He quickly cleaned up before turning to me and pulling at the string of my robe. He sn.a.k.e.d an arm around my waist and tugged me flush against him.

"Shower with me." It wasn't a s.e.x.u.a.l request because his tone wasn't playful. It was another instance where he wanted to feel even closer to me.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and nodded. His hand c.a.r.e.s.sed my back gently and I pulled my robe closed when we made our way upstairs. In the middle of our shower, Tristan stepped out from the stream of water and lifted his hand to stroke my cheek. His lips lifted into a small smile as I massaged the conditioner into my scalp.

"You're stunning, Kara."

A smile made its way onto my face as I sidestepped him to go under the water. I tipped my head back and washed my hair as he curved his hands around my waist from behind. I inhaled deeply before twisting my hair and turning the tap off.

He lowered his chin onto my shoulder and sn.a.k.e.d his arms around my body. He didn't say anything but I curled my hands around his forearms and leaned my head back. We stood there in silence until a slight chill wafted into the air. Stepping out of the shower, Tristan and I dried ourselves off and walked into the bedroom.

I fixed my hair and got ready. The heaviness in my c.h.e.s.t lingered and I realised that I felt anxious to visit their graves for the first time. I would never meet Tristan's parents but I found myself wishing that I could have met them. They seemed like such amazing people and I knew Tristan didn't deserve to become an orphan at six years old.

It had been twenty-one years since they both died and from the look on Tristan's face, I could tell that it hurt as much as it did the first year.

Standing up from the bed, I took his watch from his hand and fastened it around his wrist. He gripped my chin and dipped his head to kiss me softly. His eyes held this muted darkness to it but I could see he was thankful for everything I did for him.

"If I'm feeling up to it, can we take Alina out to see the icebergs?"

I nodded, c.a.r.e.s.sing the inside of his wrist before linking our fingers together. We left the house quietly.

When we made it to the graveyard, the graves were covered in snow. The sun had risen and the ocean was calm behind the graveyard. The sky was a myriad of blues, with strips of dark blue separating the blocks of light blue. In a way, it reflected Tristan's eyes.

The dark blue being the torment he had to face every year as he remembered his childhood and mourned his great loss, and the light blue being the life he had built for himself. A strong pack, a peaceful reign of nine years and a family. His past traumas peeked through his present but just like the sky, his present overpowered his past.

Alina and I were his beacons of light. We guided him out the darkness and he was more than the King of the Underworld. He was my Tristan, a loving mate and father.

A lot had changed for him, and I knew as he gazed down at his parents' grave, side by side, he realised that.

"Hi, mamá." He greeted both his parents in Greek, starting with his mother and then his father. His voice was weighted with a sense of sorrow and I waited for him to reach for my hand in his own time. "I miss you more and more each day…this time, I brought Kara with me. She's the love of my life and I know you'd love her too."

I squeezed his hand in an act of solace.

"Our daughter, Alina, recently turned three. She mostly takes after Kara but I swear I see you in her, mamá." He cracked a small smile. "Maybe it's because we named her after you but her eyes…some days, they look exactly like yours." He blew out a breath and glanced at me with a watery smile. Deep emotion swam in his ocean blues and he closed his eyes as he dipped his head again.

I lifted our linked fingers and kissed the back of his hand. "You're doing great, Tristan."

He leaned over and laid a kiss on his two fingers before pressing it to his mother's grave. He then spoke to his father. "Every year, I begin to look more and more like you. People say they see you in me and I'm glad that a piece of you lives on in me—of both of you. I hate that I had to learn to live in a world without you but I hope that I've made you proud, and I've become the son you always dreamed of having. I love you both more than you can ever know." His voice cracked and his hand shook as he pursed his lips against his fingers. He pressed it against his father's grave.

His hand lingered and I heard him swallow as a shaky breath fell from his lips. I stepped closer to him and he quietly turned towards me. His arms wrapped around my waist and lifted me slightly off the ground. My arms wound around him and he dug his nose into my neck.

He breathed deeply and my skin felt wet as he cried silently. I held him like I always did and he took a moment to compose himself as he hugged me to him tightly.

When he pulled back, he lowered me onto the snow and I wiped his cheeks gently. He curled his fingers around my wrists and kissed my palms before blowing out a breath.

"I need to see Alina…"

I nodded and took his hand in mine. I almost turned when I caught sight of a name that startled me. 

Niklaas Carew.

"Tristan…is that…?"

His gaze followed mine and he frowned. "Carew's son? Yeah. Buried right next to his mother. All these graves belong to those who died before or during the war."

The shock gripped me for a moment because technically, he was my half-brother and he most likely never knew of my existence. "Who killed him?"

Tristan sighed and cleared his throat. "I did…" The discomfort rolled off him in waves. "He attacked me when he found out I planned to challenge his father to a one-on-one."

The questions laid heavy on my tongue but I knew it wasn't the day to ask them so I swallowed down my burning curiosity and squeezed his hand. "We don't have to talk about this now. Let's go get our daughter."

—————

When we reached my parents' house, Alina could instantly tell that something was wrong. She was so in tune with us both that she also instantly knew that the emotions she felt in her c.h.e.s.t were not her own, but her father's.

"Daddy, you're sad…" the usual bright expression on her face was dimmed by her concerned frown. "Why are you sad?" she questioned, reaching up to touch his forearm.

He let go of my hand to lift her into his arms and she gave him what we called the 'Alina hug'. She would hug someone and wouldn't let go, and that was exactly what she did to him. Her small arms wrapped around his neck and she hugged him tightly as if she wanted to make his pain go away.

Tristan curved a hand around the back of her head and held her to him, kissing her forehead tenderly. "It's okay, χαρα μου. I'll be okay." She wouldn't let go of him and he didn't make her. He stood there, hugging our daughter with everything in him and in that moment, she truly embodied a hummingbird.

She was his joy and the light of his life. She helped him on his process of healing and I knew that she was our little blessing.

"Can I try to make you smile, Daddy?" she finally pulled back and a glint of determination sparked in her eyes.

"You make me smile all the time, Alina." He replied softly, his eyes exuding pure love for her.

"No—a big one. A big smile so you can stop being sad for a little bit."

I watched on and smiled. Tristan conceded with a nod and Alina grinned so brightly before saying the words any father would love to hear.

"You're the best daddy in the world and I don't want you to be sad because I love you this—much!" she spread her arms out as wide as they could go and Tristan held onto her tighter, mirroring her expression and chuckling momentarily.

He pressed kisses to her cheek and she giggled as she wrapped her arms around his neck again.

"I love you that much too, χαραμου. Even more than that."

I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around both of them as best as I could, proud of Alina for being so sweet and adorable. It was always a hard day for us all, especially Tristan. But because he had Alina now too, I knew that we'd always be able to get him through the day.

That was what being a family was all about.