Another World Where I Can’t Even Collapse and Die

CHAPTER 25 – PAIN, PAIN, GO AWAY (1)

“I refuse.”

“No, wait… Fikar, let’s take it there, okay?”

As I stood between him and the bowing guild officer, Fikar gave me expressionless yet pitiful puppy eyes. The modern Japanese kind of puppy, of course.

The knights from the royal capital, the officials from the central guild, and the trio of strong noblemen had all left, leaving Fikar free to try and continue living a life of self-sufficient luxury. Thinking that was like putting his foot in his mouth though, since it was becoming well known that Fikar was the Hero that defeated the Demon Lord, making him a living tourist attraction with adventurers flocking to test his strength. 

Fikar was given the rank of 10-star, reserved for Heroes alone, meaning he was currently the only person who could accept any and all requests from the guilds on the continent. Furthermore, because he didn’t have obligations to any knight’s orders, some requests came directly from guilds in the northwest, where the average rank required to accept requests was generally higher.

The uncomfortable situation was gradually winding down thanks to Fikar’s deadly「Refuse」attack, but a new source of pressure had emerged. Some guild branches in other towns and cities began to complain, “Too much work for the adventurers, not enough for the Hero.”

Fikar was a NEET with such an iron will that he’d rather be expelled from the guild than work, so the guild branches had to give in, but there are certain things all humans need to come to terms with. Fikar was willing to work alongside me to complete mild requests, so I started taking jobs not too far from Tortea from time to time.

However…

“It’s just a bit of porting, then you’ll come back…”

Fikar shook his head gently.

In this region, there were overwhelmingly more low-rank jobs than high-rank ones. And among those lower-ranked jobs, the ones Fikar requested most often were porting jobs.

The southeast, full of weak and/or peaceful creatures, had few dragons and fewer adventurers who could tame them, but in the northwest, porting was a good source of pocket money for adventurers with dragons, given their speed and strength.

That’s why Fikar took porting requests, but I couldn’t go along with them. Reason being, I was afraid to ride Su. Riding a dragon, requiring a strong sense of balance and heavy use of the semicircular canals1, was at the top of the list of things I didn’t want to do.

For deliveries to nearby towns, Su would send the cargo by air first, then Fikar would ride with me to the destination to accept payment from the client. Every time we did that, I thought to myself, ‘Honestly, I’m not even needed here, am I?’, but we’ve been doing this sort of thing anyway because Fikar seemed more likely to agree to it.

However, this job would take about a day each way by horse. If I rode Su, I could return to Tortea by evening, so it would just be a waste of time to follow her on land. Besides, I had work to do today. Fikar was determined to refuse at that point, but the client this time was Lawrence-san. The 9-star princely adventurer was the one who gave Su her glamorous saddle and, when Fikar refused to join the Royal Knights, he gave him some words of advice.

In this case especially, it would be better to not refuse and just get it over with.

“Look, I’ll make you more maitake and shrimp fritters! Okay?”

“……”

Persuaded by the Great Negotiator, Fikar nodded reluctantly.

In this world, the concept of deep-frying was pretty much nonexistent, but the other day, I really wanted to have fried food, so I put a lot of effort into making crispy fritters. They were made from maitake mushrooms, or rather, a creature called “papar” that looked similar, and shrimp. Freshly made, they were so delicious that both of our stomachs were fascinated, and the spicy batter only made us want more.

After being promised more fritters, Fikar hugged me like a stuffed animal and rubbed against me like a cat as usual. He seemed sad to leave, so I gave him the shopping list for the fritters to hold. Su’s wings created a large breeze, and I waved to them as they got smaller and smaller in the sky.

“Ludo-san, Marth, Liliana, Leonardo, wait up!”

“Every time, Sumire has it hard.”
“Fikar finally left? Even if he’s the Hero, he’s still lonely!”
“Fikar loves~ you so much, Sumire~”
“… I won’t ask.”

For the first time in a while, today’s job was teaching the children.

While we were doing what we could, the adventurer eggs (the children) were working hard to complete small requests: delivering salt mushrooms to the inn, searching for a lost kitten, helping with housework at the old lady’s place, cleaning the communal bath, etc. They were slowly accumulating experience, although they were sometimes teased by the older adventurers with grand adventures and scary stories. In a short time, they had become physically and mentally stronger. I want you guys to thrive, so please grow up without becoming too worldly~

After completing a certain amount of requests, an adventurer egg would finally be able to take their promotion exam. Before that, though, there were three basic categories of requests. The first was collection, which we already did in our first job together. Next was everyday requests, since adventurers needed to believe in helping those weaker than them. And the last was the most exciting part about adventuring: hunting and subjugation.

“Today, everyone’s favorite adventurer, Ludo-san, is with us~”

“Well, I’m not as good as Fikar, but I look forward to working with you, little ones.”

“Oi, I’m not little!”
“You’re a great adventurer, right? That’s what the onee-sans in town said~”
“5-star is plenty strong…”

Ludo-san, with dark blue eyes and short hair, was the leading adventurer here in Tortea and the #1 young hope. He didn’t shine as bright as Lawrence-san or Fikar, but he was a strong, fearless young man, well-received by people of all ages. He was a skilled archer and a strong swordsman, so I felt reassured by his company. Also, it wasn’t uncommon for us to work together like this, since Ludo-san was already a 5-star adventurer when I arrived, and so became my mentor.

“Everyone, feel free to ask Ludo-san for help if something goes wrong.”

“Aren’t you the leader, Sumire?…”

The three eggs replied cheerfully, and the five of us set off for the river in the forest.

TL Notes:

1: 3 semicircle-shaped loops past your eardrum that help regulate balance.

2: The original title is「ちちんぷいぷい」(chichin-puipui), from the longer nursery (non-)rhyme「ちちんぷいぷい、痛いの痛いの、飛んでけ！」(Chichin-puipui, itai no itai no, tondeke!) It has no meaning alone, but the larger phrase translates to “Chichin-puipui, pain pain, fly away!” Hence, the title became Pain, Pain, Go Away.