Arachne

 

"Wake up!" (E)

 

My rest gets violently disturbed.

 

"W-what is wrong?" (N)

"Nothing, but I want to get going. They are waiting!" (E)

"Eritu? Why? What? I am confused." (N)

"You obviously are! Today is your first assignment to take care of your familiars. You ignored them long enough!" (E)

"I was just there yesterday!" (N)

"And what have you done with them? Did you grant them the slightest bit of friendly attention? Now stand up, we're going!" (E)

"Wait! I am not even clothed!" (N)

"That isn't of importance to them." (E)

"It's of importance to me!" (N)

"Then hurry up! I don't want to waste time!" (E)

 

I really don't recognize Eritu like this.
She was so much shyer and for sure not as aggressive as this.
Is she this mad at me?

That's a little sad since I really can't do much about my fear of spiders.
Therefore, it's not fair to hold this against me.
I feel that there is no way to talk back, so I go to put on my clothes and find that there's a new set in bright blue.
I might just put on the old ones since I'm not sweating which isn't so bad if you think about it, regarding the fabric.
However, wearing something fresh should be nicer, so I'm going with this.

Eritu grows visibly impatient and I start to feel distressed.
The itch is a very good indicator of that!

She is almost pushing me out of the door when I'm somewhat done.
Yesterday, I used a pot of water to wash my face.
Something that I'm apparently not allowed to do now.

Like always, my fear grows the closer I come to that room.
I might know what awaits me there, but this doesn't mean it's any easier for me to get by with this situation.
I slow down the closer I come.

 

"Don't stop now! Keep going!" (E)

"I-I really don't want to! I hate it in there! It's just too much for me!" (N)

"I anticipated you would say something like this, so I brought a little help with me to motivate you!" (E)

"Help?" (N)

"Here it comes! Now it's up to you what you prefer!" (E)

 

She points back in the direction we came from.

Wait!
Why is there now a wall?
We came from that way!
There can’t be a wall!
And not in black!
And...
Is it coming closer?!!

Th-th-the wall is moving!
And somehow vibrating or rather... SQUIRMING!!!
Those are countless spiders, enough to fill the hallway from top to bottom!
Panic! PANIC!

I need to run, but my legs are shaking so much.
I stumble away as fast as I can and keep on crawling when I fall down.
Eritu is crazy!
And where is she?
I-I think she got just sucked into this wall!

Away! I need to get away!

I run through the passages to the best of my ability.
Despite my meager attempts at running and its obvious inadequacy the spider wall is not closing the distance.
Still, they are everywhere and squirm along the walls, ceiling, and ground in my direction.
I come to a junction, but from one of the two other ways another wall is coming my way.

This is hell!
There are so many I cannot see even a glimpse of the other side.
And the most terrible part is that the one way left open directly leads to the room with my spiders.
But in there isn't much better!
And as expected, when I reach the room, on the other side of the hallway is another wall of spiders.

There's no other choice but to open the room.
I rush to the opening, jump, and fall in there.
Inside, I am on my knees and the panic I felt takes hold of everything.
Some of my spiders are coming to me agitated by the terror I experience.
Some crawl along my legs, but I cannot do anything.
All my strength left me and there's no escape.

I whine, fall down, and stay in the fetal position hoping this all is just a bad dream.
With this stupid sense for the spiders, I perceive that they are gathering between me and the door, directed at the entrance.
It's nothing I can process now and I just keep crying.
Some more are also climbing on me, but they’re also focused on the entrance.

 

"Skch! Skch!"

 

They hiss in this direction.

 

"Hey! I did this for you! I brought your mother here. Don't be like this! Aren't you glad? She came here of her own volition and isn't even backing away from you!" (E)

 

This is a bad joke!
More forced than this isn't possible!
So cruel!

 

"And Nerysi? What do you have to say for your brave little ones? They are ready to fight an overwhelming opponent for your sake!" (E)

 

I cannot answer!
I'm beyond my limits and lost the slightest bit of control over my body.
There is nothing!
I think about nothing and disconnect myself from this evil world.

 

"Nerysi?" (E)

 

Nothing is good!

 

"Hello!" (E)

 

Nothing doesn't hurt!

 

"Hey!" (E)

 

Nothing isn't cruel!

 

"Answer me please!" (E)

 

I don't even need to cry anymore!

 

"Please! Say something!" (E)

 

It's okay!
I don't need to be there!

 

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Is she broken? Please wake up! It wasn't meant to be like this! I just wanted to show you that you can feel safe here!" (E)

 

I don't want to be there!
I don't want to be aware!

 

"Please let me through to her! I need to look!" (E)

 

I know that when I let myself feel just the tiniest bit, my mind will break.
I think my body gets shaken, but it feels so distant right now.

 

"Please! Wake up!" (E)

 

Did someone just pull my eye open?
There might have been light!
Yet, I disconnected the input.

 

"Please! Help me!" (E)

 

Why bother with a painful world?

 

"Sstk"

 

"GASP!" (N)

 

I jump up and find myself on some kind of stone table.
There's a weird smell everywhere around me that likely comes from all the potions scattered everywhere on all the stone crevices in this room

 

"You are alright! Oh, thank you!" (E)

 

Looking around, I find Eritu holding my arm.
I need a moment to process what I see, but I think she's totally scraped up.
Did she roll all the way down a mountain?

 

"You are seriously overdoing it with your arachnophobia! To completely shut your mind off. I had to pump you full of stimulant!" (K)

 

Kyroki?

 

"What's happening here?" (N)

"You experienced an extreme panic attack and were completely unresponsive. Eritu brought you here as soon as she could get you away from your familiars." (K)

"Away?" (N)

"Ehehe, they weren't too pleased. Thought I wanted to harm you. They were quite aggressive." (E)

 

I look back at her, still remembering this horrible sight of the spiders.

 

“You chased me down with all your demons! Just why did you do this to me?! Just why?!” (N)

“I-I was only trying to show you that your familiars are there to help you! That you can rely on them to protect you. Although, it seems they didn’t appreciate me either.” (E)

Wait!
Those scrapes!

 

"They hurt you!?" (N)

"Oh, it's not as bad as it looks. I managed to fetch you without hurting any of them. Didn't have much of a choice. If I would have used my own brood to help, it would have ended with causalities, so I took the responsibility, as it was somewhat my fault." (E)

 

I don't know how to respond.
I'm now rather sure she set it up so that they wouldn't catch me, as I was really slow, but that doesn't make it right.
However, she got hurt!
And that in some way because of me.

 

"You were in danger, right? I didn't want this." (N)

 

I cannot bring myself to say more to her.
Not to a small degree because I'm miffed at her.

 

"It's not like my life was in danger. But they are dangerous. I need to say, they are very strong, even for the brood of an Arachne. And extremely overprotective! I think they try to make up for your inability to fight on your own. They didn't want to let me take you. But I managed to convince them." (E)

"Was I really that bad off?" (N)

"You were very far away. There are some interesting points, like that this ability to escape your own body is certainly unordinary. This leads to the question if you could use it for some purpose, like taking control over other entities, if directed. But I digress from the subject! Let's say, it was unclear when or if you might come back on your own or if your body stays fine during the time you aren't controlling anything. Yet apparently, chemicals work even in this state, as evidenced by your awakening." (K)

"Thank you, I guess?" (N)

"No need! A physical examination was long overdue. I could confirm that there are no anomalies with your body. For an Arachne that is. Did you know that your fangs emit a strong narcotic?" (K)

"Narc-, narcotic?" (N)

 

What is this?

It seems Kyroki can sense my confusion and answers.

 

"Sigh. A narcotic induces sleep. Not necessarily deadly, yet like with everything it depends on the dosage. Too much and your prey sleeps forever, so to say. Yet this is suitable for hunting as living meat remains fresh." (K)

 

I seriously didn't want to hear this!
I'm not going to eat something alive!
Just saying "no problem" would have been enough!

 

"Well, for me this was an interesting experience and I am glad to have witnessed this! You can go now." (K)

 

With this, the creepy little girl moves to the other side of the room to do "something" over there.
Now there‘s just Eritu remaining.

 

"Ehm, Eritu, I'm sorry that I cannot be to those spiders what you think I should. It's just too much for me. I know you must hate me for being so useless." (N)

"I don't do that! It's just... it's dejecting. You and they are family in some way and can't be together for apparently no other reason than that things are as they are. This feels so wrong! I mean they love you! They would have all given their lives for you! To find something like this is wonderful!  And that you hate them makes me so sad!" (E)

"It's not really hate, you know." (N)

"Huh?" (E)

"I am deeply scared of them, but I think there is a difference. I don't wish them something bad. I just feel dread when I come close to them. That doesn't mean I hate them." (N)

"So you like them?" (E)

 

I never said that!!!

 

"Y-y-you can't directly jump to this conclusion!" (N)

"But you're not saying it's impossible." (K)

 

You already opted out of this talk!

 

"No, I’m not. Well, it's not like they are evil." (N)

"Then there is hope!!! This makes me so glad! All I need to do is let you overcome your fear! To somehow adjust you to their presence." (E)

"Wait! What do you have in mind?! This approach was obviously bad!" (N)

"Don't worry! I just need to be more careful and pay attention to your limits!" (E)

 

This is a reason to worry!!!
Since this room is somehow unnerving, as I have the feeling that very sinister things occur here on a regular basis I want to take my leave.

 

"Ahem, then goodbye Kyroki!" (N)

"Yes, yes! Try not to fall out of yourself again. And come again soon, I would like to analyze your magical potential next time." (K)

 

As interesting as this sounds I think I will take my time.
As I was leaving, Eritu urged me to go once more to the spider room.
She assured me I only need to go for a short visit and can leave directly after that.
Yet, it seemed fairly important to her, as apparently she promised the spiders that I would be alright if they let her take me.
And because of that, I have now to confirm that for them.
I had not much to reply, as battered up as she was.

We arrive once again at the door to hell.
Yes, I know that this is not nice to the creatures inside that are seemingly my familiars.
On the other side, they nearly wrecked Eritu and she has as well this super tough skin.
They are like living daggers, just that you can put acid, poison, and extreme aggressiveness into that count too.
But to my benefit, this time there's still a free escape route.

I already know that they are waiting when I come close.
They assembled themselves in a half circle around the entrance.
I would love it to run away right now, but at the same time, it's hard to make an exit here with this kind of atmosphere.

So I open the door.
They're all looking at me!

 

"H-h-hello?" (N)

 

Is this relief?
They are obviously easing up now.
Or is it just me who can see this?

I close my eyes in an attempt to divert my focus from that horrible sight.
I might sense them still, but it is different to use this perspective.

 

"Say 'thank you' to them for protecting you!" (E)

 

I am reluctant to do so, as it would be talking to spiders.
However, it is not like something bad might happen because of this.

 

"F-fine! Y-you k-know that I-I have problems being here. B-but I think y-you all just want my b-best, so I think that..."(N)

 

I'm searching for something to say.

 

"Maybe you sh-shouldn't attack e-everyone just because o-of me, I doubt that I'm that important. N-nonetheless, E-Eritu said you were v-very brave o-only for my o-ordinary self a-and so I should say 'thank y-you'!" (N)

 

They didn't like the part where I ridiculed myself, yet the last part made them all excited and they start to make some kind of little celebration here, running left and right, jumping up and down.
And because of that horrendous sight, I quickly close the room and put as much distance between me and that place as possible.
Soon I notice Eritu beside me.

 

"And? Are you happy now?" (N)

"Absolutely! They all looked so cheerful! That was very important to them!" (E)

"I really can't stay there long! This is honestly the limit of what I'm able to do! And I really don't know how any of you can believe that I could possibly teach them anything!" (N)

"Yes, that will be a problem! The only solution I have would be to mix them with our brood. In general, we divide them for better transferring of the orders, and so we can specialize them in the different roles, but like this, they might find out what is important to know. That would need a great amount of autonomous thinking. However, what I've seen today indicates that they are very able to act on their own. Still, we need to work on your bonding. It might not be the kind of link you could lose control over, but this is a completely different matter if you don't even enact control at all. That's something you need to learn!" (E)

 

I really don't want to!