Became an Academy Spearman

92. why she lives

***

ㅡ Happiness.

There was once a day when the word happiness was too easy for Karite to come into contact with.

A very good family, affectionate parents, friendly family servants, and even innate talent made her have a happy childhood as if to bless her.

But at some point, all that happiness completely disappeared.

Anxiety and nervousness that came suddenly.

No matter how good the priests and healers were, even the holy water that was said to be difficult to obtain, he tried, but he was unable to cure Karite’s curse-like phenomenon.

As it continued for four years, the friendly family suddenly looked at Karite with strange eyes, and even their innate talents became emotionally unstable, losing their light as if they hadn’t shined.

And it was darkness that came to replace that light.

It is also very dark.

As if trapped in that darkness for years, Karite didn’t feel true happiness.

Beyond anxiety and nervousness, the symptoms of unexplained mental anxiety became more severe, and in the end, even strange hallucinations were heard, harassing Karite endlessly.

But today.

Karite was feeling the “happiness” she hadn’t seen in a long time. Even for herself, she felt as if she was receiving a warm light that made her feel as if every moment was enveloped in light.

And the light seemed to shine on me so brightly that it didn’t feel like reality.

…

“… Lee. Karite?”

“Ah, yes… ?”

While answering the call belatedly, he blankly stares at Hancheonseong.

“The rabbit has come. What the hell are you thinking?”

“Nothing…just meaningless thoughts.”

While answering, I saw a pure white rabbit approaching me before I knew it.

It came to my hand holding the hay for feeding and was eating the hay eagerly, and it felt like I was belatedly returning to reality even as I watched it.

‘I guess I was feeling happy.’

The feeling of happiness that I felt after a long time was so unfamiliar that I forgot about reality for a while.

Han Chun and I now. It was on a site within the academy where you can see many animals.

It was the first time I found out today that a place like this existed, but just seeing rabbits like this seemed to heal my heart little by little.

And having someone by my side like this was a big help.

“…”

Let’s pinch my thighs with the other hand while giving a glance. The pain was clearly felt.

‘It’s not a dream.’

It certainly wasn’t like a dream now.

Sarak!

Then, when the rabbit ate all the grass and disappeared, a small laugh leaked out.

“Rabbits are also very heartless. To eat only what to eat and leave right away.”

“It is an animal. I just acted on my instincts.”

Having said that, I didn’t feel too bad about it.

I was grateful that the animals came close to me. Even so, this time I watched as Han Chun-seong reached out his hand.

He had more hay for feeding than I did.

In an instant, a group of rabbits rushed into Han Chun-seong’s hand.

“…what?”

Even Han Chun-seong, who held out his hand, was surprised to see me.

Sasasasak!

As if three pure white rabbits were competing, they quickly ate the hay in Han Chun-seong’s hands.

“Do rabbits also cover people?”

The cadets here now weren’t just me and Han Chun-seong.

Among them, there was also a cadet holding more hay than Han Chun-seong, but the number of rabbits flocked to his hand was arguably the most in Han Chun-seong.

“Karite. There’s no way a rabbit can cover people, it’s just because I’m carrying a lot of hay.”

Seeing him accepting it insignificantly… I wondered if that was the case, but I stared at Han Chun-seong.

The cotton-like rabbits clumped together in their hands looked at them smiling lightly as if they were cute, and just looking at them seemed very sincere.

Because people who like animals can’t be evil.

‘I feel kind.’

Although it is impossible to determine a person’s true intentions. That’s how I felt when I just looked at Hancheon Castle.

To me, Han Chun-seong seemed like a very nice person, and I wished he was like that… My wish was mixed to some extent.

I remembered the voice that he casually handed to me at the cafe.

ㅡI want to do it, because you care.

Rеаd at ոоbӏеmtӏ.соm

Just the thought of those words made the whole body feel hot again. It’s not a very long word. At that moment, I felt vaguely happy even though my mind was floating.

When was the last time I heard someone say they wanted to be with me… … .

Even my family ended up avoiding me who became nervous due to anxiety. The words Han Chun-seong said just now came to me as the biggest words of all.

“Karite.”

“…yes?”

“While the rabbits are paying attention to the hay, would you like to pet them?”

“But, won’t the rabbits run away if I do that?”

“Don’t worry too much and give it a try.”

Han Chun-sung smiled lightly and pointed to his hand, where he saw three rabbits preoccupied with hay.

Encouraged by those words… I reached out my hand cautiously.

Even though I took my hand very carefully, I became nervous for no reason. The moment my hand touched the back of one, hoping that the rabbit would not run away from my hand.

ㅡ!

The rabbit jumped out of my hands in amazement.

“…”

I hesitated for a moment, but I awkwardly retrieved my hand and licked my lips.

‘Even though I told you to be careful. Could my hand have been so sudden?’

Naturally, I had negative thoughts again.

Maybe it was me who reached out, so the rabbit ran away. If I don’t have hay, animals don’t like my touch… .

Negative thoughts took hold of my mind for no reason, even for really insignificant things.

“Sorry.”

Then, at the sound he heard, he nodded blankly.

“Karite Wait a minute, I’ll try.”

“…yes. Try it.”

As I answered, I just felt numb. I love this moment, but I felt so pathetic that my heart was shaken again by such trivial things.

Seruk.

Afterwards, as Han Chun-seong held out the hay with his right hand and slowly stretched out his left hand, he inadvertently focused his gaze.

‘If it’s Han Chun-seong’s hand, not mine… .’

I wondered if the rabbit would stay still, curiously curious.

And Han Chun-seong’s hand reached within no time.

“……”

I was speechless for a moment.

‘really… .’

When Han Chun-seong’s hand touched it, the rabbit did not run away. As if rather enjoying Han Chun-seong’s hand caressing the rabbit’s hair, the rabbit remained still while indulging in the hay.

Because the rabbits that each other touched are different. And because it’s so trivial.

Reasonably, everyone understood. Even so, a gloomy feeling surged up in my heart.

‘Also.’

I can’t do it… It’s clear that even the animals refuse to touch me. It was clear that there was a curse on me that could never be lifted.

“Karite.”

“…uh.”

I suppressed my emotions while answering in a calm voice without even realizing it.

…Just suppressing these negative emotions from rising up made me feel dizzy again.

But still, my heart was broken. Because this reality seemed to show me where I am now.

That I’m different from other people It is a distinct existence… .

So, the reality is that I am shunned even by animals.

“Reach out your hand.”

“yes… ?”

“Hurry up and reach out to the rabbit I am petting.”

As Han Chun-seong urged him to speak, I, who blinked blankly, later understood the meaning of the words.

squeak, squeak.

Han Chun-seong’s hand, which was still gently stroking the rabbit’s head, seemed to be stroking the rabbit consistently. And Han Chun-seong was trying to give me a chance to pet the rabbit too.

Naturally, as he slowly reached out his hand, his gaze went to the profile of Han Chun-seong, who focused his attention on the rabbit.

‘…different.’

Han Chun-seong was definitely… different.

As I looked at him, I was strangely filled with emotions.

And… I was sure at this moment. Han Chun-seong is with me like this because he is interested in me and really cares about me.

It was as if he showed directly through his words and actions that what he said to me at the cafe was sincere.

Seruk.

When my hand went to the rabbit that Han Chun-sung was stroking, Han Chun-sung carefully moved his hand away and gave me space to pet it.

And I was able to reach it in no time.

“…”

As Han Chun-seong did, I carefully stroked the rabbit’s head, and the rabbit did not avoid my hand.

Of course, it may have been because Han Chun-seong’s hand was carefully caressing other parts of the rabbit, but the rabbit was also accepting my hand.

“What do you think? Is it very soft?”

As Han Chun-seong whispered, I nodded and was looking only at Han Chun-seong, not the rabbit.

Looking at the rabbit accepting my touch, he smiles softly as if it went well.

…Emotions surged endlessly while watching that scene.

‘There really is such a good person… .’

I couldn’t believe this reality even though I actually saw it.

It’s like a dream all the time, and it’s not like reality. I unknowingly bit my lip and felt the pain.

And the pain felt so good.

Because it’s real.

Among the appearances of the castle I had hoped for in the past two days, none of what I expected had the appearance of the castle as it is now.

…kind, gentle. Now, Han Chun-seong, who cares about me and is considerate of me, was a reality.

And even that appearance was not even conscious of me and feeling burdened.

Even though he is with me, he naturally approaches me as if he is comfortable, talks to me, and smiles softly like he does now.

It shows through direct action. No matter how anxious I was, no matter how foolish I was, I could trust Agar.

Seruk!

Then, as soon as the rabbit he felt in his hand disappeared, he looked down blankly.

“Are rabbits really heartless?”

All of the hay was gone in Han Chun-seong’s hand as he spoke with a smile.

At those words, I smiled unconsciously and nodded my head.

“…I might be really heartless.”

“Still, this is fine. In exchange for hay, I stroked it to my heart’s content. Wasn’t Karite a bit lacking?”

“No, I’m satisfied enough with this.”

While answering, I didn’t ask for more.

… no more happiness in this moment.

And now, the gaze of Han Chun-seong looking at me is pure and satisfying… . Again, it was satisfactory.

“You’re prettier because you smile.”

“…yes?”

“They say you’re prettier when you smile, and if you smile like that on a regular basis, other cadets will definitely try to become friends with you.”

The following words inadvertently made me grope my face.

‘Did I laugh…?’

Even thinking about it, it seemed like that. Because Han Chun-sung told me so. Obviously I felt like I was laughing.

“I usually have a hard time laughing like this.”

“It will gradually get better.”

Those words were so natural… I inadvertently gave him a look and nodded.

Han Chun-seong spat out words lightly. Those words that seemed to be nothing… … .

It was much more trustworthy than the high-ranking priests who had paid a lot of money in the past.

If the High Priest made me feel at ease for just a few minutes, Ahn Cheonseong has already given me such a warm feeling for several hours.

“thank you.”

“suddenly?”

“It’s just… I’m so grateful to you.”

Seeing Han Chun-seong smiling at my words, it seemed that my heart regained strength.

In the midst of difficult and unbearable days, the reason I can endure each day looking forward to tomorrow…