24 – Winter (2)

Laugh bitterly. I laughed really hard.

Looking at his frowning expression, as if he sincerely didn’t know why he had to leave or why he was following him.

He let out a heavy breath at the bitterness that filled his mouth.

“…Go. It’s around dinner time.”

I felt better when I saw him, but

His expression, not knowing why he had to leave, made his mood sink again.

That expression that showed that he didn’t know anything bothered me.

Do you really not know that tomorrow is your birthday? Or is it just embarrassing to tell me?

My heart started to feel a little stuffy at the thought of getting complicated.

It could have just been a trivial thing. Maybe I forgot my birthday because I was so busy living.

However, for some reason, I kept thinking that it wasn’t like that.

As he looked at the door Evan had left, a shadow had already formed on his face.

#

It was just a word I heard by accident.

Lofena, who was eating a cookie while reading a book as usual, casually threw a word that caused a stir.

-Lady, you know what? The day after tomorrow is the driver’s birthday.

I couldn’t answer the question of how I found out by chance and what I should prepare as a present.

You must have seen his personal information in the papers. Why didn’t I know it was my birthday until now?

When she asked if he had said it himself, Lopena shook her head. She just said she was tidying up her desk and saw the date on the papers.

It’s a gift, I narrowed my eyes at the word I remembered after a long time.

If given, what should I give? It would be convenient to ask, but isn’t his escort driver living a pretty busy life?

If it had been the same before, I would have just ignored the escort knight’s birthday, but I found myself laughing at myself for thinking of taking care of it like this.

But what can I do? Because I had already acknowledged him deeply in my heart, it was difficult not to keep him in sight anymore.

I already knew that he worked hard in training before the swearing-in ceremony.

Even if I don’t know how the words I told him openly at the ball that day were received by him,

Had he taken it negatively, he thought, maybe he wouldn’t have acted the way he does now.

I was quite happy. Even when he hears such words, he works even harder.

He would feel his chest tickle for the first time in quite a while, as if he was doing it for himself.

Winter is coming, cold is coming, and even in this Duke’s residence where the chill lingers. Every time I looked at him, he seemed to be blown away again.

The human heart is so cunning that it accepts him so readily that he once tried to push him away.

Isn’t that existence already imprinted on me like Lopena?

If he disappears at any moment, he might feel sorry for himself.

Then, remembering the expression he had, I gently close my eyes.

Looking back at him with an expression of incomprehension, his green eyes were clearly shaking.

Her own escort driver, no matter how you look at it, doesn’t seem to know that tomorrow is her birthday.

It was clearly a question that was included in the green eye. It was not the reaction of someone who knew that their birthday was coming after the sun went down.

Something Sir Chris had said from time to time seemed to linger in my ears.

Before you met him, did you say that he always had a gloomy expression?

After making an expression like a person who will leave anywhere at any moment,

The statement that he always locked himself in his room and wielded a sword was particularly jarring.

I wonder if he’s still making that expression in a place he doesn’t know.

If he’s making that face when he’s closing the door, if he’s still smiling at me.

Suddenly, he realizes that he is biting his lip.

The soft flesh was chewed in the mouth, and the fishy taste leaked out. I wasn’t feeling very well.

Why is he so desperate to focus on something while forgetting even his own birthday?

“…Rize.”

I called for someone to stand outside the door, and eventually the door opened and a lady-in-waiting entered.

A maid who has a habit of occasionally touching the mole under my eye. She is probably the one who is closest to Evan.

“My lady.”

“Tomorrow is Evan’s birthday. Did you know?”

“Oh, did you?”

As if she really didn’t know, laughter leaked out from the maid tilting her head.

She didn’t even know her. She said she talked to Evan often, and even she was close with Lopena. Even she didn’t know that it was his birthday.

Suddenly, the dark blue eyes cooled down coldly.

At some point, a thought that I had forgotten for a while comes to mind, and I unknowingly chew on my lips.

Juris, didn’t you hate this duke’s work terribly? It was this part that she hated.

She seemed to be very nice on the outside, her mouth was always smiling, but her eyes weren’t smiling.

Even though they were so close, does it make sense that I didn’t even know her birthday.

“… Go.”

There was nothing more to ask.

As I lightly sighed at this result, which only added to my disappointment, I roughly scattered the papers piled up in front of my desk.

She put her hand on her forehead, then slowly brushed her face.

A small circle drawn on the calendar. After listening to Lopena, I realized that his birthday is tomorrow.

In the past, I would have skipped it without even knowing it, but for some reason, it bothered me to just skip it.

What kind of feeling did she feel when she couldn’t celebrate the day she was born?

I remembered the expression on his face that didn’t know anything. And his face, which always had a bright expression.

I felt frustrated that I couldn’t figure out whether I really forgot my birthday or if I was just pretending to forget.

Come to think of it, I knew nothing about him. Even though he said he felt comfortable being with him, he held on to it that way.

He was still selfish. Since that ball, nothing has changed about the person he thought he had changed.

What is the difference between before and after talking at the tea party?

It was just that his attitude was not cold. It was just that there were no more thorns mixed with the words that came out of his mouth.

I just leaned on him as an escort knight, but I never really tried to find out anything about him.

If Lopena hadn’t informed him, he probably would have spent his birthday without much celebration.

The sigh that leaked out was heavy. Once again, his suffocated chest frowned.

While hating the people of this duke’s house so much, it was just terrible to see myself becoming like them.

I didn’t want to look like him. Didn’t he promise himself that he would live differently from them?

He could have asked a little bit first. Are you still afraid of getting close to him?

Pretending to be okay on the outside, now pretending to tell everything, but on the inside, is it that he is reluctant to approach him?

Now I should be able to remove the thorns around me, but that wasn’t easy.

Damn it.

#

“You go alone this time.”

I went back to Sir Chris and told him what I had to say about Irene. He looked at me for a moment and then replied.

Well, now that there is an ordination ceremony soon, are you trying to take responsibility at all?

“Yes.”

As soon as I answered willingly, Sir Chris looked at me blankly and opened his mouth scratching his cheek.

“By the way, tomorrow is your birthday. Can I say congratulations?”

“…Was it my birthday?”

“Are you living without looking at the calendar? Tomorrow is your birthday I didn’t really prepare a present.”

When I opened my eyes wide at the sound I heard for the first time in my life, Sir Chris, rather surprised, narrowed his eyes and glanced at me.

It’s been a while since I’ve lived Evan Fried’s life, but I don’t know her birthday because I don’t have memories of her.

Come to think of it, tomorrow’s date was marked in a circle on the calendar, but did that mean it was your birthday?

My eyebrows were lightly furrowed at the sudden memory of the past.

When it comes to birthdays, there aren’t only good memories.

After a moment, he raised her hand and brushed her face, then sighed lightly and twisted the corners of his mouth.

“You don’t need to congratulate me. It’s not a very special day, is it?”

Really, it was not a special day for me.

It’s just one of those days I don’t really want to remember.

Because the day someone would have been blessed with was only a cursed day to him.

“…You.”

Sir Chris stared at me for a moment, then sighed and lowered his head.

“In that case…well, congratulations though. Even if you can’t give me a gift, don’t refuse this.”

“Yes, thank you.”

He smiled and shrugged his shoulders, and Sir Chris stood up with a big smile.

The corners of his mouth were drawn in thin arcs that did not suit his rugged face.

I was a little scared at first, but after living like this, I quickly learned that he is a good person.

I wish I could keep watching.

When everyone can laugh happily by changing the ending that Irene will face later. Wouldn’t it be nice to have Sir Chris at that time?

I looked at Sir Chris for a moment as he quietly left, then took a deep breath as he gently closed his eyes.

His chest, which had been uncomfortable ever since he heard that it was his birthday, seemed to get better as the cold winter air filled his lungs.

“It’s your birthday.”

From noble mtl dot com

I also thought that maybe now I can accept it without thinking.

Now he was Evan Fried, and Evan Fried must have lived quite differently from himself.

Maybe I ate a sweet cake with my family who smiled at me while receiving various presents on my birthday.

However, he was an existence that could not be defined simply as Evan Fried.

He who has just entered the body of Evan Fried and has settled down, cannot say for sure that he is Evan Fried.

It would have been best to just quietly move on. Thinking so, I slowly opened my closed eyes.

What I could see was the cold moonlight that made my heart ache, and it seemed that the chill of this winter had deepened even more.

It was cold. The wind, which I had felt chilly until just now, was so cold that my body shrank.

The wind that penetrated the clothes I was wearing scratched my bones, and soon ran through every nook and cranny of my body, freezing me.

An old tree without a single leaf was looking at him. He said he was like me, and the bare tree branches stood out more than ever.

-Why were you born?

On the day you were born, a word from the person who created you lingered in your ears.

No matter how much I try to forget it, I bite my teeth at the words that come back to me in the end.

“…Ha ha.”

The breath he exhaled through his teeth was cold. My body froze, as if it had become cold and hardened like a dead person.

I didn’t believe in the saying that a birthday is a day to be blessed. A very long time ago, from childhood, before I could speak properly.

I hated my birthday.

I just wish this day passed quietly, without anyone noticing.

With that kind of gaze at the sky, I began to slowly move forward again.

The road with fallen leaves was just muddy today.

The chill melts away, like a black swamp that grabs my feet and tries to drag me down.

Tap the screen to use advanced tools Tip: You can use left and right keyboard keys to browse between chapters.

You'll Also Like