33 – Before it snows (4)

Looking at the cloudy sky, your eyes shake.

Could it be that the anxiety that permeates deep into the heart makes the cloudy sky look so ominous?

It has been a long time since the sun disappeared in the thick dark clouds.

Cloudy weather completely different from what we saw before,

The sound of birds chirping in the distance is somehow noisy, so I inadvertently close the window.

As soon as the cold wind no longer touched my cheeks, the warm energy that had flowed through the room began to wrap around my body.

Suddenly, the lips squirm, then close.

Worried. Are you worried right now?

What if Evan is no longer his escort knight when he returns?

I also thought that maybe I was restraining him.

His talent surpassed any knight he had ever seen.

I also saw the crown prince, who is called the equipment of the empire, but compared to Evan, there would be a stark difference.

You probably won’t even be able to reach his feet no matter how hard you try your whole life.

If there was a master in the empire, it was clear that it would be Evan’s seat.

Because the talent he possessed was something that could make such absurd rumors come true.

When he thought about whether it was right to think that it was good for him to remain as his own escort knight, his heart felt tight for some reason.

Catching the warlock was not something to simply pass over.

If he was a regular knight, it wouldn’t be strange if he got the position of captain of the knights right away.

But he is an escort knight, if he chooses to remain as his own escort knight.

Evan may have made a choice that betrayed his own potential.

-I am your escort driver.

It wasn’t that he didn’t know the meaning of what Evan said to him.

Looking at the shadow cast over my face, he must have told me not to worry and to understand my heart.

That’s why it bothers me. If he is simply serving as an escort knight for himself even though he does not want to, what should he really do?

“It looks like it will snow.”

My thoughts are disturbed by the voice in my ear.

With her always bright and upbeat voice, when I raised my head without realizing it, what I saw was my own lady-in-waiting.

“Lopena.”

“Weren’t you looking out the window? I heard earlier that the first snow will come today.”

…Snow.

Is it just because it snowed that the weather was so cloudy today?

Looking back, the scenery outside was not as desolate as before.

There were flowers that bloomed even in winter, and all the colors of the world have not disappeared yet.

Aren’t white and gray also colors?

It’s just that I felt so desolate because I thought of it negatively.

When Lopena opened the window, the wet air that was not suitable for winter came in.

As if it was really snowing, the moist clouds seemed heavier than ever.

“The first snow falls early this year. I think it was held after the hunting festival last year.”

“…That’s right.”

Maybe she took herself too seriously.

It is natural for the day to be cloudy before it snows, but didn’t you think it was desolate and ominous? There is a saying that the eyes are the windows to the heart.

Maybe because she was so disturbed, she looked at the things she could see so negatively.

After the snow, the sky would clear like a lie.

Now it was full of dark clouds that didn’t send a single sunlight,

Isn’t that sky the one that will turn blue again after it snows?

I also felt that it was too early to speculate on Evan’s thoughts.

Let’s slow down a little and put our mind at ease.

Just as the sky is overcast before it snows, that must have been what made me so upset right now.

When it snows, all worries disappear.

From noble mtl dot com

I looked out the window like a child and looked at Lopena, whose eyes were twinkling, then looked away.

Thinking of the birch trees growing in the back of the mansion, and her father and Evan to be there.

#

It took quite a while for reason to fully return.

The first reason was to understand this situation, and the second reason was to understand the duke’s attitude, which was completely different from what I knew.

“Would you like to talk a little now? You seem quite surprised.”

“…Not quite, really surprised.”

As I carelessly stroked his chest, the duke smiled and handed me a teacup.

Black, different from the Darjeeling that Irene usually drinks.

As the familiar scent stung her nose, I unknowingly took the teacup in surprise.

“This is…”

“They said coffee. A charge that recently entered the Empire. Do you know?”

How can you not know about coffee? I’m probably the person who knows most about this car in the world of this novel.

As soon as I smelled the familiar scent, my mind seemed to feel at ease.

Fragments of the original world felt in this unfamiliar world.

After drinking coffee for a while and calming down, the duke looked at me and opened his mouth again.

“…How is Irene doing?”

“She seems to be doing well now.”

“Now,” Means that it wasn’t like that before.”

I wonder if her asking for Irene’s well-being like this really came from her heart.

Confusion arose as it overlapped with the original information, but what was clear was that he was quite bitter.

The story in the novel is that the father who does not give affection to her child, tries to raise Irene as the perfect head of the family by forcing only her iron blood.

And the gloomy appearance of Irene that I saw.

What the hell happened?

The duke smiled bitterly once, then closed and opened his eyes gently, looking at me.

When his eyes, which resemble Irene’s blue eyes, met mine, he nodded her head coolly and continued her words.

“The reason I tested you was not only to see if you deserved to hear what I had to say, but also to see if you were the right person to be Irene’s escort knight.”

“…Yes.”

“I know what kind of life Irene lived. What I asked of my daughter, she said. That’s how she came to Irene. What do the servants of this mansion expect from Irene? I know everything.”

The words she wanted to say rose to the bottom of her chin.

Why did she not change her behavior even though she knew that?

I wonder if you really know what kind of person your actions made later on. I wanted to say that.

I was curious about why he acted that way despite knowing that, so I just kept my mouth shut. I wanted to hear a convincing reason. And the Duke, wondering if he knew why I was still, continued to speak.

“You seem full of questions. Are you wondering why I acted the way I did?”

“Yes.”

“If I said it was inevitable, would you understand it? Because Irene is the only eldest daughter of this Julis, she is the one who should be the shield of the Empire from now on. Would you understand if I said that she had no choice but to pretend she didn’t know even with such a heavy burden?”

I couldn’t help but do that. As I lightly frowned at those words, the duke smiled broadly, saying he understood.

“People often think of dukes of the 5th family. An aristocrat right below the emperor, he always wields unbridled power and thinks he can live as he pleases. But, it’s quite the opposite. When he is in a high position, there are responsibilities that come with it.”

“Responsibility… you mean.”

“Yes, responsibility. Always follow your eyes When you’re here, even a small mistake can seem like a big responsibility. So we always have to be perfect. Even the occasional mistakes made by others are unacceptable here. That’s what this shield is for. If I make a mistake, the heart of the Empire will be pierced.”

Blue eyes shimmered in the dingy-colored room.

I lament over this absurd situation,

Those eyes twisted with regret, remorse, sadness, and anger at himself for behaving like this were trembling fiercely in the dark.

“So Irene has to be perfect. Because she’s the only one who deserves this position. Even if it’s hard right now, even if she loses her mind and becomes a person who looks at the futility. So I had no choice but to do so. Will you understand now? Why did I treat her own daughter the way she did.”

“……”

I finally understood why I could read the futility in his eyes.

Because she had already lived the same life as Irene once, she had already abandoned her feelings by living the same life as hers, so she contained her futility.

It was rare for aristocrats to keep their responsibilities.

There were many people who abandoned their responsibilities and wielded their positions solely for their own gain.

Perhaps the passage in the novel about the appearance of Garrot Uris is,

I thought that maybe only the appearance of him was written.

What was in his eyes was clearly remorse for his actions.

If he had a place to lean on, if he had someone who would at least understand him and look at him from the side.

Perhaps his life was quite different from now.

His image hidden behind the name Iron Blood was a person with more passion than anyone else.

A position that has to be perfect. Because it was a place where even the slightest mistake could not be tolerated,

He had no choice but to tell Irene to go through the same procedure as he did.

Even if her heart wasn’t like that, she forced herself to do so while keeping her heart a secret forever.

I finally realized this.

“…But on the other hand, I hoped that Irene would not become like me.”

After saying that, the duke closed his eyes. As if thinking about something, he exhaled quietly and opened his mouth again.

“When Irene brought in a girl, I allowed her to be her exclusive maid. Originally, she had to be of the same noble family, but if she had the child as her exclusive maid, she would have been able to lean on her heart, even if only a little bit.

It was the story of Lopena.

“I caught an old knight who was about to retire and placed him as Irene’s escort knight. If her heart was warm and she was an old knight who always prayed to the church for those she killed, she would have been able to treat Irene a little more comfortably.”

It was the story of Sir Chris.

“However, as he is old, he needs another escort knight. I found it. However, Irene threw the escort knights away. I thought it might take quite a while. Irene didn’t open her heart easily to Sir Chris or Lopena. She was prepared in her heart that that child might become like me.”

He caught his breath for a moment, then looked at me and opened his mouth.

“And you came.”

“……”

“I was an escort driver who could not be heard for a day or two. The seasons have changed, and winter has come again. Do you know that your appointment ceremony is right around the corner?”

“…Yes.”

“When I heard that Irene took you to her prom as her partner, I laughed inside. I think I finally found it. I feel like I’m finally opening my tightly closed heart. The thought that maybe he wouldn’t follow the same train as me made my heart ache. He knows now that the hope that he never has to follow the same train as me, he tickles people’s hearts so much.”

He was not iron-blooded.

I thought maybe everyone in this world was looking at him wrong.

If the thing inside him was iron blood, iron had to be softer than anything else.

He was the father. The father I never had, who fits that name better than anyone else.

I let out a heavy breath as I met the sparkling blue eyes that gave me goosebumps.

Lopenado, and Sir Chris. Everyone who was by Irene’s side was, in the end, the bond he made.

However, Irene did not face a tragedy. He is called the iron-blooded master, and he lost his head on that cold guillotine.

“…I told you this, but the way I treat Irene will not change.”

The Duke laughed bitterly. As much as it makes the viewer’s mouth bitter, it’s really bitter.

“I am iron-blooded. You can’t show a finite look to someone. Even if it is a child, I must serve only for the Empire as the Empire’s shield. So my attitude won’t change. Even if Irene resents me, even if she holds a grudge against me and curses me until she dies. I must be Garot Julis.”

“…Your Excellency.”

“Actually, the reason I asked you earlier if you would become the knight commander was because I wanted you to answer, not you. How can you not know that your talent is better than that of the crown prince? I am also a knight. I don’t want to ruin your talent, but right now, this person’s request may sound infinitely selfish. You are the only one I can ask for.”

I wondered why this room was dark, maybe he had locked himself in the dark.

In order not to imitate the light himself.

The windows were removed and the remaining windows were covered with densely planted trees to block the sun.

He hides his feelings under the name of Iron Blood, the imperial shield.

A place where even a child cannot be treated comfortably,

Seeing as if he was wearing an iron mask thicker than Irene’s, I stared blankly at him.

Until the mouth opened and a calm voice was heard.

“Please don’t let Irene become like me.”

The corners of his mouth curled softly as he begged me not to be like him.

His eyes, however, were not smiling. His eyes, filled with mixed feelings, looked as if they were crying.

“…I understand.”

Keep your head down.

It was a decision that would not change from the moment she raised her sword for her, something she had already prepared for.

Now and in the future. I’ll be her escort knight.

The expression of the duke looking at me like that seemed quite comfortable.

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