66 – Like a lover, not a lover (4)

“My lady.”

I couldn’t reach it. No, even though it was touched, she was ignoring it.

She still sighs at the figure with her back turned.

Because I understood what had offended her,

It was not unusual for her to get close to her easily.

The reason why she is broken and why she is so anxious.

Because I knew very well that the reason was me,

All I could do was just look at Irene and wait until she was in the mood to talk.

…It was my fault. If there was one thing I had to admit, it was my fault for her insecurities.

Isn’t she the only one who is particularly sensitive to being hurt?

Besides, she came back with a serious injury this time,

She had no choice but to react sensitively to the words of the prince who asked for help in subjugating the warlock again.

Even if everything I did was for Irene’s sake, I needed to consider how she might feel.

Did I move too hastily? However, how could I even predict what happened to Hatan?

Irene, who silently turned her back, still showed no signs of saying anything, so she just let out a sigh and looked helplessly at the back.

“…Why did you follow me? Shouldn’t she have a talk with Her Highness?”

The voice that I finally heard didn’t have the slightest bit of life mixed in it.

Achromatic colors, if that voice were to be expressed in color, wouldn’t it be that gray and black mixed together would only feel cold.

I stared blankly at Irene, then she smiled awkwardly and opened her mouth.

“I was worried and followed you. Because you don’t look good.”

“Worry, worry.”

Irene’s expression as she looked back while muttering that, was never good.

When Irene, smiling lightly as if sarcastic, approached me,

I hesitated involuntarily from the chill she felt.

I was getting angry. Outwardly I didn’t think she was angry, but she was definitely angry with me.

As before, she felt thrilled, but what she could feel at the close distance was her anger.

Coldly forged rage because of being restrained. Those cold blue eyes met my eyes, and Irene, who laughed in vain, quietly opened her mouth.

“After saying that I am so worried now, I will go because I have to subdue the warlock in the end. Isn’t it?”

“If the lady tells me not to go, I won’t-“

“Don’t lie. You’re going to go With the excuse of being for me, the excuse that the warlock might threaten Julis. Wasn’t it like that before? 3 Years ago, on your birthday. Even though I told you not to go, you didn’t go anyway.”

At her words, I had no choice but to keep my mouth shut.

Because every single word was right, again. I couldn’t help but look at her quietly thinking that maybe I could have acted like that.

I could see his eyebrows waving and trembling. I saw the regret in his eyes.

A bitter taste lingered in her mouth as she regretted being angry with me, but was forced to get angry, worrying that I might get hurt.

It would be better if you had just hit me,

Her fists were clenched tight enough to turn white, and she bit her lips at that gaze as she looked at me.

The soft flesh was chewed and blood leaked out. Feeling the fishy taste, he slowly opened his mouth.

“Sorry.”

“…I, you.”

Perhaps because of her rising breath, Irene, who had kept her mouth shut tightly without being able to continue her words, opened her mouth again.

“You don’t know how worried I am. Evan.”

How could I not know that heart? Her gaze, which gets impatient when she looks at me.

Do you think I didn’t see the shaking eyes?

There was one thing I didn’t want to leave her behind either.

From noble mtl dot com

I don’t know how many people would be happy to go through the line of death, but at least I wasn’t among them.

Could it be that the fact that she went ahead was just a matter of raising her concerns?

She didn’t know what to say. In this situation, she couldn’t think of what to say to her.

Her head has turned pure white. All she can do is stare at her.

I couldn’t bear to stop her body from slowly turning.

“…Do not follow me.”

She stretched out her hand toward her receding back, but in the end it couldn’t reach it.

So weakly, her hands gripping the air just fell down.

#

The wind was cold. The wind, which is so cold that it does not go well with spring, touches the body and disperses, and soon the body shrinks from the chill.

Looking at the darkening sky and the empty space where the twilight gradually thickens, she moved her steps like that.

No one will know where it is going.

It was only because I was moving with the mind to avoid one person, without a fixed place.

She frowned at the pain that felt like a needle piercing her heart.

Even though it was already in the past, her heart ached every time she thought about what had happened earlier.

There was no need to be so angry with him, but the words he spat out in a moment of rage made me care the whole time.

I could have been a little more refined, but a little softer…I could have said that.

Whenever she recalled Evan’s face, her head lowered as she gazed at her, her breath was choked by her rising emotions.

Isn’t that just a farce?

I was well aware that it was such a ridiculous complaint that a child would behave.

In the end, it would be him who would fight the warlock, but he felt that being angry with him was childish.

He was a man who came back from a serious injury. Even though he always came back with a big wound, he was a person who looked at himself with a smile as if nothing had happened.

…I didn’t like it. He would have liked to have been a little more honest with himself.

It hurts, it’s hard. Wouldn’t it be nice if he said that to himself.

It was greedy, but it was also the wish he had been harboring for several years.

When he came back injured and bandaged up, I bit his lip behind him.

From now on, all I had to do was receive a sham promise not to get hurt.

“Ha.”

The fact that that was all was funny, so I stood still and laughed dejectedly.

How funny he must look. He complains like a child, and he is angry without understanding his heart.

I thought as I slowly moved forward like that, pointing at a wall I didn’t even know where in the imperial palace.

A wall shimmering with candlelight, the moonlight shines brightly in front of it. It was a familiar landscape.

Isn’t it similar to the scenery we saw at the Crystal Palace? But at the end of it, I remembered the fact that Evan wouldn’t be there.

It was different from back then. Lonely, lonely, a cold wind blew and touched my cheek.

Couldn’t I have said something nicer to him? However, he knew there was no turning back.

Pushing away Evan, who was approaching to grab him… Funny enough, he did it himself.

It was impulsive, impulsive. If you think about it for a bit, the reason why your emotions rose at the moment was because many memories overlapped.

A word from the prince, asking for help in subjugating the black magician.

I heard about it three years ago.

Didn’t you hide behind the wall and listen to the words of Evan meeting with the crown prince and helping him deal with the black magician?

And for the next three years, Evan has fought numerous warlocks.

Even if I don’t recall this incident, there were quite a few. Wasn’t the decoration on his chest filled with as many as 10 petals?

I wasn’t hurt at first. I could see Evan’s face smiling proudly, saying that he had kept his promise to come back safely.

He smiled faintly when he said that he would continue to do so, and not to worry too much.

And then. Evan, who slightly cut his forearm, returned with a shy smile.

It will be fine.

It’s probably only this time. I won’t hurt you next time

However, as time passed, the number of encounters with warlocks increased.

Evan’s wounds continued to grow and grow.

At first it was just a shallow cut. Then his shoulder is dug,

Coming back with his blood dripping from his head. The promise he kept at the beginning was only a façade.

As if coming back injured was natural, Evan, who smiled casually, always talked to himself.

– I’m fine.

His stomach was pierced, his shoulder was pierced, and he came back with blood all over his body, but the words he said were always the same.

It’s okay, how can you take that word for granted? It wasn’t okay.

Both him and the listener himself. As time passed, Evan became stronger, but the wounds he suffered grew bigger.

And what if he dies? It was something he hated to even imagine,

If that happened… He couldn’t imagine what feelings he would harbor.

Won’t it go back to before I met him?

Everything that happened with him will crumble like foam.

He thought of it, then shook his head and brushed it off.

The more complicated his mind became, the more he breathed.

Breathing heavily, he walked forward so slowly.

Towards the growing moonlight. Slowly, listening to the clacking of shoes.

I harbored a subtle anticipation that Evan might be in front of me. Wouldn’t he appear in front of me like a lie?

Wouldn’t it be possible to see him standing under the moon, just like when he was in the crystal palace last time.

Ttogak.

But Evan wasn’t there.

In the empty balcony, where only the cold wind circulated without a sign of anyone, there was undoubtedly silence.

I inhaled a breath in despair, then exhaled it and looked around quietly.

It was a truly savage sky. As if mocking himself, the brightly shining stars were shining around him.

If only I could see the sky like this with Evan. I erased the thoughts that came to my mind, and I gently closed my eyes again.

However, the thoughts did not disappear easily. Whenever I forget, I laugh at the green eyes that come to mind.

“Haa…”

I missed you.

He already knew what it was like to feel anxious when he was far away from him, to the point where his heart ached.

That this is love, that the impatience I felt while burning the countless letters coming to him was actually jealousy.

Maybe that’s why he was so angry. I hope he is out of danger,

Rather than that, maybe he acted so immaturely because he wanted people to focus on himself a little more.

…It was just an excuse. She thought Evan might be upset by what she said.

He said that even though he knew that he was always considerate of himself.

How can I not be angry? The hand that gripped the balcony grew stronger.

That power is added to the sound of the waltz you hear.

The banquet held to praise Evan for his accomplishments, Evan will surely be there too.

Numerous ladies wooing their escort knights,

When I thought of him, my emotions started to rise again without my knowledge.

His eyes were furrowed. The actions of the young ladies, not knowing what they would do to get closer to him, seemed to be clearly visible.

If he had been by his side, he would have stopped it, but what did he do the rest of him alone like this?

Rather like a lie, I hoped Evan would show up here.

Of course it can’t be, but what is the probability that he will come all the way here to find himself tired of the banquet?

‘It’s ridiculous.’

It was just a delusion. A delusion that has very little chance of coming true and is nothing more than a wish to oneself.

He was supposed to be congratulated by others at the banquet, and he was left alone like this… Just staring blankly at the sky.

The wind was so cold that I unknowingly grabbed my arm.

It’s summer soon, how can the wind be so cold? To impress Evan, the dress he wore was rather thin.

When I tried to slowly turn my back, clutching his arm like that.

Chin.

My body stiffened at the hand that grabbed his shoulder.

Who the hell was holding onto his shoulder? However, the warmth was familiar.

I was surprised by the comfort that seemed to melt my body as soon as I touched it, and soon after, I was surprised by the voice in my ear.

“It is cold.”

When he turned his head, what he saw was Evan’s face looking at him as usual.

With a light smile on his face, Evan opened his mouth as he slung the cloak he was wearing over his shoulder.

“Why are you here alone? Haven’t you heard of a banquet being held?”

“Why is Evan here?”

“You know I don’t enjoy banquets.”

For a moment, his head went blank and he lost his way of answering.

Why is Evan here? Did he even get what he wanted?

Thinking that what he sees in front of his eyes may be an illusion, he touches his eyes,

I opened my lips slightly at Evan’s figure that didn’t disappear.

“…Aren’t you angry?”

I asked carefully. Even he was so shocked that his voice did not come out well,

Evan slowly turned her head and looked at himself at the sound of a very small voice.

He stared at himself, wondering what he was thinking, and replied with a smile.

“Why are you angry? Did I look so narrow-minded?”

My face gets hot for no reason at the sight of him replying casually.

He himself had such a complicated heart, but Evan didn’t really pay much attention to him.

I’m glad he came here. He didn’t want to show it off, so he gruffly opened his mouth.

“His Highness held a banquet for you, what should I do if it comes out like this? Go back Because I’m fine.”

“Are you serious? That’s what you say.”

“……”

You can’t be sincere. All I wanted to do was hold on to him, telling him not to go and to stay here.

However, I couldn’t say that, so I just kept my mouth shut and looked at Evan.

It was uncomfortable to look into those green eyes that always looked at him.

She was uncomfortable with that smile that she was still smiling even though she was so angry.

I looked away from her, and Evan looked at her and opened her mouth again.

“I thought you would be here. The thought of the Crystal Palace suddenly came to her mind, so she headed to this place just in case. He just happened to be here.”

Evan smiled slightly as he said that, shining in the moonlight.

The light shattered her golden hair, and for a second Evan’s face shone in ecstasy.

That’s how I was unknowingly taken away. His smile was directed at him.

I was delighted with that fact again, so I carefully stroked my cheek to hide the rising heat.

“If you ask me why I came here…It’s simple.”

“Simple. What is that…”

“I missed you. That’s all.”

I heard that the other day. Even though I heard you wanted to see

Somehow, those words sounded so new that my heart started beating fast.

It was disgusting to see him say such a thing casually.

He reacts so sensitively to those words, but it was annoying to see him not even moving a little while throwing such words easily.

But still, I liked him, so I lowered my head, afraid that his red-hot cheeks would be noticed by him.

Keep the moonlight shining on me so I can’t see your face.

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