Because I Cannot Hurt You

Over at the other side, Caihong couldn't take it anymore and turned to leave. "Please don't bother me again, Zhiyuan."

Without looking back, she quickly left and Zhiyuan could only see her walking away.

His lips moved even before he could stop himself. "Are you happy with Xiaosi?"

Caihong didn't turn, but her lips curved into a wry smile. She regretted that when they met Siying and Chyou just a few minutes ago, she couldn't control herself and mocked Xiaosi and Chyou for not apologizing. She didn't want to let him realize that there were problems between them else he wouldn't have let it go.

What is happiness, Zhiyuan? That emotion has long been lost from my life now…

"Yes...I am very happy with them. Xiaosi and I had a small fight so I behaved like that."

Zhiyuan said, "Who are you even fooling Caihong?"

"I am not fooling anybody. If you want to live in that delusion so be it."

She finally left.

From afar, Xinyi saw Zhiyuan heading back in a daze. From the looks of it, she definitely knew that things didn't go well between them.

Xiaosi mocked. "Ah, there goes your husband without getting his answers. See? Didn't I tell you it would be all useless?"

Xinyi didn't respond to his provocation. Instead, she looked at Shuang apologetically. "I really wanted to talk to you, but I have to check on him."

Shuang shrugged. "No need to be so uptight. Go."

Xinyi smiled. Just before she left, she stared at Xiaosi. "I don't know what your intentions are, but I won't let you hurt Zhiyuan. You may think he didn't suffer, but I have lived with him for the past seven years. I know what he went through. Don't ever say it again that he suffered any less."

She lowered her gaze and went away.

Shuang leaned on a pillar and said, "You are chasing after ghosts, Mr. Zhu."

Xiaosi chuckled. "Why call me Mr. Zhu? Have we become so distant, sister-in-law?"

"Ew. Gross. Say that again and I will punch you."

There was a moment of silence.

"Stop it before things go out of hand, Xiaosi."

Xiaosi raised his head and a wry smile stretched his lips as he looked up at the starless sky. Then his empty gaze turned cold. "Things had already gone out of hand at that time, Shuang."

"It wasn't Zhiyuan's fault. You know what had happened that night with Caihong. It is foolish to blame him."

"Zhiyuan's fault was that he was too weak."

"So were you."

Xiaosi looked back at her with emptiness in his eyes. "And I am suffering its punishment. Every single day."

Shuang was quiet.

Xiaosi laughed. "Just look at Zhiyuan. He is still living a happy life. For God's sake, just look at him. There is no justice at all, isn't it?"

"Looks are deceiving."

He snorted. "Oh please. You want to say that he doesn't love Xinyi? So what? His marriage is going just fine, and I will not tolerate it when Caihong and my life is messed up because of him."

Shuang exhaled. "Don't come to me for any help if you get in trouble or I will beat the shit of you."

He sneered. "I won't."

"Also, since you are back, it's fine to drop Chyou at the An residence once in a while. I don't want my niece to live in that toxic environment with you and Caihong."

He looked as if he heard something unbelievable. "Leave my daughter in a devil's den where your 'esteemed' mother lives? The same woman who told you to humiliate Caihong on this trip? Would living with her be any less toxic for Chyou?"

Shuang grimaced. "I will be there with her and so would Dad."

"Your step-father isn't helpful. After all, if he could fall for your mother's pitiful charms then…"

"Fine then. But I will be taking Chyou with me if she calls me crying about any of your fights with Caihong, mind you," she narrowed her eyes.

"Oof, such a loving step-aunt."

Shuang shrugged.

---

Xinyi quickly opened the door and found Zhiyuan laughing with Siying.

"Dada! She was the same shoelace, Aunty! Isn't she so nice?" His gaze sparkled. "She told me that she will teach me English too! Dada, she teaches very nicely! It is so easy!"

A flash of a memory passed in his mind. In it, the young Caihong and Zhiyuan were in the library studying with Caihong teaching him language skills.

He smiled. "Is that so? Well, she was always a good teacher…" he mumbled.

"Hm?"

"Nothing. That's good and all, but don't trouble her too much, okay?"

Now that Caihong knew that Siying was Zhiyuan and Xinyi's son, he didn't want any awkwardness or discomfort between them.

He pouted. "I won't!"

"Alright. Time for you to sleep."

"Noooooo. I want to play!" He whined.

Zhiyuan turned serious. "Well, then I cannot help you if the ghost catches you and...tickles you like this!"

Zhiyuan grabbed him and tickled Siying's waist. Siying laughed. "Dada, stop...hahahaha…"

Xinyi quietly watched them. She already knew he was trying to distract himself from what happened. The conversation with Caihong didn't end up as expected either.

You cannot hide your pain from me Zhiyuan. You can fool anybody but not me…