Because I Cannot Hurt You

"Xiaosi! This is not some joke!" Zhiyuan burst out in fury, "If you had any misunderstandings about me, you should have talked to me instead of keeping it to yourself! I would have cleared everything. But no. You went ahead and assumed stuff on your own and in that whole mess, you did…" he clenched his fist, "...you did that to Caihong."

"Forcing yourself on a woman is not a small thing!"

Xiaosi silently clenched the headrest of his seat tightly in his fist as if he wanted to tear it apart.

"Yeah...it's indeed not a small thing," he muttered to himself, trying to control his rage.

Caihong couldn't keep up with the conversation at all. She was shaking the whole time in panic. She never wanted Zhiyuan to know that she was raped. She felt embarrassed and shameful.

Tears refused to stop. She tremblingly took a few steps back and ran away from the room.

The pained expression on her face and her wet cheeks made Zhiyuan even more furious.

"Caihong!" Xinyi called out but she didn't stop. She knew she had to be with her now.

She urged Zhiyuan. "Zhiyuan please let's go."

Zhiyuan gritted his teeth. "You go after her. I am not done talking to him."

Xinyi hesitated and pursed her lips. She didn't want Caihong to leave alone for a long time.

"Please come back soon. Please…?"

Her soft voice made Zhiyuan lower his gaze at her. The worry and nervousness were evident. He held her cheek and softly smiled. "En."

Xinyi stared at him for a moment before she nodded and left.

Xiaosi yawned. "You should leave with her too. There is nothing left to talk."

Zhiyuan coldly glared at him. "How about saying why you want revenge seven years later when you already did what you have to at that time?"

Xinyi rushed behind Caihong as fast as she could.

"Where is she?"

She found her running to her left.

"Caihong wait!"

She stiffened for a moment, but she didn't stop.

Xinyi caught up to her and held her arm. "Caihong please!"

She shook off her arm and looked back. Her lips trembled as she spoke, "Why are you coming after me, Xinyi? There is nothing left to talk about! Zhiyuan…" she gasped, "The last person who I didn't want to know anything now knows it too!"

She clutched her arms and sobbed hard. "I...I know there is nothing between us now. B-But…" she shut her eyes, letting the tears slide.

"But it feels shameful that he knows now, isn't it?" Xinyi said her unsaid words that were hard to tell.

Caihong bit her lip hard until she could taste her blood seeping in her mouth. Her knees went weak and she collapsed.

Xinyi could understand her pain. It was a hard thing for a woman to say that she was touched by another man when she had someone else she loved.

She bent on her knees as well and stared at her. Inadvertently, her eyes teared up too. She couldn't imagine what she would have felt like that dreadful morning when she realized the truth.

Xinyi quietly hugged Caihong without saying anything. Caihong's wet gaze teared up more and she cried hard. She hugged her back and sobbed loudly. For the first time in seven years, she cried like that after that morning. She had locked all her emotions in her heart until she felt like a lifeless doll.

But with Xinyi's warm hug, she somehow couldn't control herself from keeping those feelings she had kept locked away.

Xinyi softly asked, "Do you want to tell me about it? I will listen to everything."

Caihong sniffled and trembled. She couldn't come up with words for a long time.

She looked back at her and lowered her head. Very slowly, she recalled the events of that party night until that morning…

*Seven years back*

At An residence, Caihong had locked herself for a long time.

An Guoting was continuously knocking on the door. "Caihong. Caihong. Please open the door, dear. You are worrying me. You have not spoken a word since you came back."

Caihong was blankly sitting on the floor, hugging her knees. She buried her head in her knees and had not stopped crying.

She only stared at her phone for a long time. Her fingers trembled upon seeing Zhiyuan's name. She wanted to call him. She wanted to tell him everything, but Xiaosi's words would continuously ring in her ears.

"How will he know? Will you tell him?"

"Ah, poor Zhiyuan. He loves you so much that he will accept you. But do you really want that?"

She shut her eyes and cried again.

"Zhiyuan…. Zhiyuan…"

"Caihong, please open the door," An Guoting urged from his side.

After a long time, Caihong opened the door. An Guoting was shocked to see her state.

"Caihong! What happened? Why are you crying? Tell your father. I will solve everything for you."

An Meiying quickly held her hands and said worriedly, "Yes, dear. We are here for you. You look so pale. What happened?"

She burst into tears. "Dad…"

An Guoting hugged her and patted her back. "No matter what, your father is always here for you, got it? Just tell me who made you cry."

Caihong trembled in his hug and slowly retold the events. An Guoting froze.

"What!"

His voice roared in the entire An residence. His gaze darkened and he looked so furious akin to an unleashed beast.

"How dare that Zhu Xiaosi!!! He...he…"

He gritted his teeth and clenched his fists. He looked at his daughter and understood why she was in that pitiful condition. The tears in her eyes made his gaze wet as well.

My daughter had to go through that...a-and I knew nothing about it. I couldn't do anything.

He felt as if somebody tightly clutched his heart, seeing her red eyes and shaking body.

"That Xiaosi...He is a wolf in sheep's clothing! All this time, he had such disgusting intentions for you!"

An Meiying covered her mouth and sniffled. "I am so sorry dear. It's horrible."

An Guoting flared. "That Zhu Xiaosi should be sorry! I won't let this go. He will have to pay for this! I will ruin his life!"

His chest heaved up and down as he took sharp, angry breaths. 

He laughed angrily. "And where was that Zhiyuan? Weren't you together? Then what was he doing when you…"

Caihong cried. "Dad. I-It's not Zhiyuan's fault. I-I was suddenly caught from behind and then...and then I got unconscious."

"I don't care! He will have to answer me! Didn't you claim how deeply you two loved each other? Is this his love? He couldn't even protect you and you wanted to be with him for your entire life!?"

"No, Dad. I-"

"Enough. I will talk to Han Zhiyuan later. But first, I will destroy that Xiaosi. He dare lay his filthy hands on my daughter," he gritted his teeth, "he will have to pay for this!"

An Guoting stormed out of her room, with An Meiying following behind him.

"Guoting wait!"

"What is there to talk about, Meiying? I won't stop until I see him begging for his life!"

An Meiying gently tugged his arm. She softly said, "Guoting, I know you are angry. Even I am hurt to see Caihong like this. But...I think there is something we need to consider."

"I don't understand."

Just at that time, Shuang walked in and said, "It's for Xiaosi and Caihong to marry."

An Meiying seemed a little shocked to know that for the first time, her daughter said the same thing that she was about to tell him.

Ah? Since when did our thoughts match?

An Guoting was aghast.

"Shuang! Do you know what you are saying? Here I want to punish Xiaosi and you are telling me that I should hand my daughter over to that bastard!? Impossible!"

Shuang stared at him and said, "It is for the best Dad. I talked to Xiaosi. He said he wants to take responsibility."

An Guoting angrily laughed. "Responsibility? Is he making a joke? After hurting my daughter like that, he wants to take responsibility?"

An Meiying quickly said, "Guoting, I know it's hard for you but I feel the same as Shuang. After what happened between them...it's best that they get married."

"Are you-"

"This way nobody will come to know what happened to Caihong," Shuang folded her arms. "Dad, do you want to let the whole world know about last night and bring Caihong in the spotlight?"

He stiffened.

"Sure you will ruin Xiaosi, but at what cost? Once the whole world knows that Caihong was assaulted, will they ever see her in the same light again? Society won't let her live peacefully. Wherever she would go, people would murmur behind her back, give her pitiful looks and some would even mock her. Life is harsh for a woman once everybody knows the tragedy."