Chapter 40

My memory ended with a roadway full with flashing red lights and sirens.

I passed out on the helicopter due to a high fever and loss of strength, and was subsequently woken by discomfort of the wounds in my palm that was being dealt with. 

When I awoke, all I could think of was Qi Shu’s fleeting glance at me and his silhouette, which had vanished into the ruins to save me.

I snatched Zhou Chen’s arm and cried out, asking him where Qi Shu was. Where had Qi Shu gone…?

He told me not to be afraid, that Qi Shu was being rescued.

The wounds were excruciatingly painful; the nerves of the fingertips were linked to the heart, and even a light touch made me sweat bitterly, and tears couldn’t stop flowing. 

The doctor stated the silver lining was that I didn’t break any bones and would be able to play the cello again once my skin healed.

I didn’t care about my hands; all I wanted to know was how Qi Shu was doing.

Zhou Chen was obstinate, but he eventually admitted the truth. My heart gradually sank into the ice cave as I watched his lips open and close.

Shattered ribs, severe internal bleeding, head trauma, back burns, a broken limb… There wasn’t a single portion of his body that wasn’t broken.

When I heard that, I had trouble breathing and couldn’t even exhale.

I just hurt my hand so hard. Qi Shu, how painful should his be…

Qi Shu was placed into the ICU after the operation, which lasted a full twenty hours.

He was severely injured; his entire body was encased in different tubes, and his chest hardly moved. 

I couldn’t go into the ward, so I had to make do with reclining on the glass pane outside and watching him.

When his eyes were closed, he appeared quite serene; despite his worn appearance, his brows and eyes were still arrogant.

He should always be having a good time out there, always be proud of himself, and always be reckless.

He shouldn’t be laying here. 

I did this to him.

“Will he be all right?” “I asked, choking.

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

Zhou Chen stood behind me in silence. After a while, he asked me, “If so, what are you going to do?”

I have no idea. 

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Really..? However, he looks like he’d break with just one touch.

Qi Shu was out of danger 48 hours later and was moved to the general ward. It took another three days for him to finally open his eyes. 

When I walked in, the doctor was inspecting him, and when he spotted me, he smiled over his shoulder and said, “Xiao Yu.”

His face was pale, his entire body was lean, his lips were bloodless, and he appeared frail.

The doctor and nurse left the ward after ascertaining that the vital signs were okay. My nose grew sour instinctively as I walked over and sat by the bed.

“Don’t cry,” he said. 

I tried to hold back my tears and asked, “Are you okay?”

He shook his head. “Hurts.”

Qi Shu had always had a very privileged lifestyle. Even the smallest bump required a visit to the family doctor. You can image how uncomfortable he feels right now.

“I’m sorry… it’s all my-” 

“You mean to me.” He interrupted me softly, “Is sorry the only word you’ll say?” ”

I choked and didn’t know how to answer.

His attention was drawn to my gauze-wrapped hand. “Is the injury serious?” he said, frowning.

“Nothing serious…” 

“When you reached out your hand, I knew things were already difficult for me,” he continued slowly, looking at my face, obviously in poor health, and said, “You value your hand so much, yet you’re willing to protect him.”

Qi Shu was right. I care about my hands very much since it’s only when I take up the bow would I feel appreciated.

“There is one thing I didn’t tell you. In fact, your cooking isn’t tasty.”

He abruptly changed the subject and even chuckled. 

“But I always let you cook because I enjoy seeing your soot-stained hands.

“I know Zhou Chen isn’t like me; he’ll love you and make you happy, whereas I’m a jerk who just wants to see you cry.

“You made the right decision to leave me.”

I couldn’t figure out why he was telling me this. 

“I’m quite aware that my cooking isn’t particularly delicious. I’m always very sad if you eat very little every time.”

It suddenly felt like a dream now that I was talking about the past.

“I’ve tried several times, but I can’t seem to get it properly. I’m using the same materials and following the same methods, but I simply can’t get it to taste good. ”

“Don’t do anything if you can’t do it well,” he said. “I don’t want you to cook for Zhou Chen. Then I will be the only person in the world who has eaten your food.” 

After speaking, he went on to disclaim this sentence, “Forget it… When you like someone, you can’t wait to show them the entire world. It’s because I didn’t grasp it earlier and assumed you didn’t love me enough.

“It’s laughable to think about it now. I thought you liked Wen Yan.

“When I went to fetch him once, I found you standing beneath the tree with him, laughing and talking. Your eyes were sparkling and your cheeks were glowing, and I thought to myself, “I must have this tiny creature,” yet you never gave me that look after I had you.

“I was so jealous that I couldn’t think of anything else to do but torment you to prove that you were mine.” 

I was shocked that Qi Shu had such a misunderstanding of me, and remembered that on the day he mentioned, I felt shy and happy because I saw him from a distance.

As for what came after that… I was trying so hard to satisfy him that I couldn’t express myself freely.

It turned out to be wrong from the beginning…

He’d come after me for a platter of fruit. I’d always arrange a platter of lychees for him since I believed he liked Wen Yan’s pheromones. 

He’d become enraged whenever I mentioned Wen Yan, most likely because he assumed I wanted to leave him for Wen Yan.

After I transplanted the glands, he bit me so frantically that maybe at some point he really wanted to give me a permanent mark.

I wanted to explain, but nothing came out of my mouth.

It’s already like this, forget it ba. 

Qi Shu looked at me with a sad expression.

“I lied a lot to you.”

“You’re not attractive, you’re not cute, and you’re not likable enough; these are all lies.

“I’m just afraid of showing weakness.” 

“In fact, I like roses very much. You’re much better than roses.”

“Your love is also very good.”

“I had it,” he said flatly, looking up at the ceiling. “That’s why it’s harder for me to give it up.”

He finally appeared fatigued after saying this. His attention was drawn to a spot in the air, and he turned away from me. 

After a lengthy period of time, the effects of the medication and the tiredness from the pain led him back to sleep.

Outside, the afternoon sun had faded to a golden darkness. The day had come to an end, and so had the two of us.

This relationship taught me how to love properly, and I hope it did the same for him.

I gently touched the corners of his lips. They were soft. 

“Next time you like someone else, don’t be so hard-mouthed.”

“Don’t be afraid to show weakness.”

“Love’s weakness is armor”.””