Begin Again - Start All Over Differently

"You are so damn free these days, aren't you?" Evan remarked as he saw Caleb sitting on the couch the soon he stepped into his house.

"Make yourself comfortable. I need to freshen up."

"Of course, bro. Why are you behaving as if I am here for the first time?" Caleb giggled at his successful attempt of riling up Evan more than he already was. He gave himself a silent pat for being able to divert Evan's attention even if it was for a short while.

Evan shook his head and walked upstairs to his room, without bothering replying to Caleb for he knew that it was a never-ending saga.

•

Evelyn rushed inside her home and dropped her bag on the floor as she caught the sight of Melissa, a slender woman in her late thirties.

"Melissa, I am sorry. Ah, the cab –" She left the rest of her words in the air as visibly distraught Melissa grabbed the hold of her arm.

"Her condition is worsening, Evelyn. This was her third panic attack this week."

"Panic attack?" Evelyn took a step back with shock registering on her face. "Melissa… you didn't tell me that over the call. You told me that she wasn't feeling well."

Evelyn climbed the staircase, uncaring Melissa's response and almost ran only to stop in front of a room that had an engraved nameplate and it said – HOPE.

She slowly pushed the door, and tears filled her eyes at the sight of her twelve-year-old sister, curled up in a ball on her bed. Holding back her tears, she took a moment to calm herself at least visibly before approaching her.

As she sat on the edge of the bed, she lifted her hand to c.a.r.e.s.s her hair, slowly whispering, "V."

Vanessa, Evelyn's younger sister, peeked out, shifting aside the pillow she had hidden her face in. A part of Evelyn's heart broke on seeing her frightened little sister.

She quickly wiped Vanessa's forehead that glistened with sweat once she took away the pillow with the handkerchief from the table beside the bed.

"It's okay, V. It's going to be okay, someday. I promise you, that." Evelyn cuddled her sister closer, as she made an attempt to comfort her sister, assuring her that she did, almost every other day but as the days were passing, Evelyn had begun doubting if she was really going to live up to the promise that she had been making to her sister for years.

"For how long, are you going to give me this silent treatment?" Caleb let himself comfortably slip a little on the couch as stretched out his legs, darting a glance at Evan who sat right in front of him in his room.

"By the way, we've never talked about this chair. This seems so old yet is your favorite, isn't it? I have seen you so often, on this one. What's the story behind this?" Caleb was trying to get Evan to speak something but little did he realize that he was touching the strings that he shouldn't and Evan's cold stare at him validated it.

"Caleb, I do know what you are trying to do. Drop it already." Evan pushed the phone he was pretending to be looking at all along, finally giving in to the conversation. "I do not understand, why you would think that I have a thing for her in the first place."

"I never said that you have anything for her." Caleb grinned.

Evan's eyes stopped at Caleb, whose reaction was quite similar to that of an officer having caught a liar, red-handed.

"Fine. Let's get serious, Evan. I really need you to answer me and answer me with absolute honesty – have you been blaming yourself for the album thing? No, don't avert your gaze from me. I have waited for you to tell me on your own but at what cost? You drank to the extent where you couldn't even stand on your feet. Do you even remember that I had come here that night? I am sure you don't. I didn't expect it from you… you out of all, Evan. You… you were never into drinking. No matter how tough things got – you never touched alcohol and now that you are breaking the rules you have lived by, all your life – am I not supposed to be worried?"

Evan was taken aback by the time, Caleb put up the question that left Evan guilty. He was then able to understand why Caleb had been behaving strangely. Caleb never did that.

He should have had a word with Caleb right at the moment when it had struck him that something was off. He did have an idea that Caleb, in fact even his other two friends, knew that – he was affected but – Caleb had seen him drunk – was the last thing that he could think of.

Caleb got off the couch and went to Evan. "It was just a contract, Evan. Forget about it now. You can't be punishing yourself for it. As long as we are together, we will grab many such contracts. Stop it, now, okay? How many more times do you need me to tell you that it wasn't your fault to believe that?"

Evan stood up. "Repeating it for a million times doesn't make it true, Caleb. It was my fault. If there is anyone responsible for losing the album, then it is solely me and you know that."

Caleb's helpless eyes met Evan's agonized ones.

Evan kept his hand on Caleb's shoulder. "Caleb, I just need some time. I'll be fine on my own."

Caleb didn't look convinced but he didn't push it further. "On one condition – you are not going to be harsh on yourself and no more drowning in the alcohol."

Evelyn was writing something in her notebook when she spotted Evan, who walked in the almost empty classroom. She, having a habit of reaching anywhere a couple of minutes earlier, was surprised to find him, early in the class for, nobody, nobody ever made it early to the classroom.

She instantly looked down when she realized that he was turning his head towards her and continued to scribble, pretending to be oblivious to his presence.

He glanced at her from the corner of his eye for a moment or two before he found himself a chair and settled down, quietly.

They sat, in two different corners, seemingly doing the work in their hands, occasionally passing short stares at each other when one thought that the other wasn't looking.

Something had changed and both of them knew that.