BOTB Chapter 25.5 (1) | The Brother, Erich

Erich’s POV

At one point, Erich, 9 years old, noticed that he wasn’t normal. It wasn’t long after his parents died.

How can he not know?

When morning comes, his body is always heavy like a cotton soak, like he’s not in a bed in the middle of the night.

There were times when his limbs were sore as if they had fallen from.

At that time, he even found a bruise on his knee or a bleeding palm while taking a bath.

It was strange, and when he looked more closely at his body, the black soles stood out as though he had been walking barefoot through the whole house.

Every time he found such a strange thing, he felt like a goose bump all over his body so that his back was standing up, but when he thought that he wasn’t normal, he was scared and tell no one.

His parents are dead and Erich is extremely ill and led to a sedentary life.

If he had a big brother, he could have trusted and relied on behalf of his parents, but after the sudden succession, Eugene was out of bounds and had little time in the mansion.

So one day, he stayed up without sleeping.

The day was pretty endurable.

No one seemed to notice that he stayed up all night because he was always tired during the day.

No, he was right to say that he didn’t care.

“Erich, you…”

However, only Hari visited him as he eating breakfast in his room and smiled at him.

Erich threw a chilly gaze at a girl in front of his eyes.

“What?”

“No, did you sleep well yesterday?”

At that moment, Erich’s eyes became a little darker, but he struggled and said without expressing his heart.

“It’s the same as usual. Why do you ask?”

“If you are in good shape, why don’t you go for a walk with Penny? Because you seem to be in the room too long.”

The successive responses were quite natural, but Erich thought he was just had a sensitive reaction.

“The walk will go with Penny and the two of us.”

“Yeah? I must eat and go out. Is it necessary?”

Erich, looking at the face that was displeased with his words, turned his head out of the window.

Strange girl.

Whether he’s stuck in his room on the fictitious day, sleeps well or doesn’t sleep, eats well or not, he doesn’t care.

No one care for him after his parents die, It was almost as if there were few people in the mansion.

Of course, there were his older brothers, but Eugene was busy, and Cabel seemed to be overwhelmed.

The butler Hubert took over Eugene’s command and took care of him, so it wasn’t until afterwards that he can took care of Erich.

Erich began to depend on his aunt, Mrs. Lenoard, who visits the mansion every day.

Maybe it was because of her blood, and her face had a corner resembling to his father.

When she hugged him, he felt like it wasn’t long before his unstable heart would gradually sink.

But that is only a temporary comfort, and it was impossible to resort to her from the very bottom of his heart.

Hari was in a fairly middle position for Erich.

She is in Ernst’s name, but she wasn’t his real family, and that’s why he had little his own affection for the years they had spent together.

On the day of the funeral, she stood in front of their parents’ coffin, and he saw no tears in her.

Erich saw between the gap in Mrs. Lenoard arms.

She blamed Hari in front of him.

However, Erich seemed to know somehow that as not what his aunt said, Hari wasn’t crying because she wasn’t not really feeling sad.

And he was very upset.

In fact, Erich was the only one who cried out loud because he could not control emotions on the spot.

Even his eldest brother, who had replaced his father from a young age, and Hari, who was always struggling and fighting with him, did not shed tears until the funeral was over.

He remember that he was very distressed looking between these two grown-ups as if he was the only child.

BOTB 25.5 (2)

After that, Hari, like his own sister, start nagging with worries such as,

‘Stop starving and eat’

‘Stop being stuck in the room and come out’

She went in and out of his room.

“I said get out!”

He didn’t like it again, as Erich start feeling more keen on her.

As they’re on the same age, it was also annoying as she give him a doll as if she was trying to soothe a child.

So many times, he threw the rabbit doll that she gave him in front of Hari’s eyes.

Still, when he heard the door closing and looked up, the doll was always lying next to his bed.

From that day, Erich was sleeping with the doll every night.

******

“Would you like to take a nap?”

On the second day after Erich stayed up all night, Hari, who entered his room at lunch time, recommended him with a serious face.

Could it be that she notice that he couldn’t even sleep a bit?

“I don’t need it. I’m not sleepy.”

But Erich was stubborn.

“Miss Hari, The madam is here.”

Hari seemed to want to recommend him again, but soon she left the room as though she had no choice.

But even at the last minute, she was worried about Erich.

Erich, left alone, crumpled. Maybe he noticed that he was running short of sleep.

He tried not to be noticed, but time fly too fast.

And that night, the limit came to Erich.

After all, it seemed unreasonable to spend three or four nights, as he try not fell asleep again and again, not want to feel the horror the next morning, and waking up and looking after his body.

However, his eyelids continued to sit down.

Erich finally stand up because he seemed to fall asleep if he’s staying still like this.

So he walked inside his room and opened the door. After a long time he was planning to go to the playroom and spend time.

Then Penny caught up behind him.

“Are you going with me?”

Penny shook her tail as if she said yes. Erich bows and hugs Penny and leaves his room.

But after walking a little, he started to breathe. His arm holding the penny was also jerky.

Has he been weak in the meantime, or is Penny growing up in the meantime?

For some reason, Erich folds his face because he seems to be feeling weak.

‘Nowadays, if you have a chance, go with Penny for a walk.’

Hari, who was nagging him to go, came to his mind.

Eventually, he bent his knees and put Penny on the floor. It seemed that he was dizzy because the three days without sleep.

Erich squatted in the hallway and stroked Penny’s back.

At that time, he felt a presence in front of him.

Because of fatigue, Erich’s cognitive abilities were far worse than usual. So he reacted very slowly to external stimulus and slowly raised his head.

And he found a white figure approaching his front.

It was Hari.

She was wearing a pajamas and seemed to jump out of her room in surprise, oversleeping unintentionally.

As she found Erich, he soon noticed that Hari’s pace was even faster.

“Oh, why did you fall again like a fool?”

She almost jumped and approached Erich directly. Then she raised him up and brushed his knees.

Erich looked stupidly at Hari’s face, which was drowsy. What the hell is this?

He did not know. But is it because of the mood? He think Hari’s behavior seems to be very familiar….

Just then, Hari’s hand, which had brushed his legs, stopped.

It seemed that her eyes were nailed to his feet, wearing a real shoes. For some reason, she seemed embarrassed that he was not barefoot.

“Uh….”

The next moment, Hari raised her head.

The moment she met his eyes in the air, she jumped back in amazement, seeming startled.

Whether she first came to him, now she was watching him with her eyes full of alertness.

“Oh, how are you?”

Hari with an embarrassed face soon stuttered and greeted him. Erich looked at her like that and opened his mouth.

“What are you doing?”

On his side, Penny was waving her tail to Hari. Hari responded awkwardly to Erich’s cool voice.

“I, um, did you come out of sleep?”

Erich looked at her face and her eyes, and the watery eyes she couldn’t hide.

“Why did you get out of the room at this time?”

Hari asked him in a very natural voice.

In Erich’s head, the puzzle was slowly setting, but like her, he hid the nursery rhymes and spoke in a grave voice.

“I can’t sleep either.”

“Yeah. Would you like me to warm up the milk?”

Usually, he would say,

‘Am I a child? I deserved to have to say’

‘Just eat it because I don’t need it.’

But Erich just stared at her face without saying anything to her.

“I’m going to bed.”

He managed to say so and turned around.

“Good night, Erich.”

It wasn’t unfamiliar to hear her voice ringing from behind his back.

And when he returned to the room, Erich sat down leaning against the door. Penny came up to him and licked her hand around his knees.

He couldn’t figure out why his heart was about to shake. Even if he couldn’t figure out the door, he tried not to come out with tears in my eyes.

He feel terribly miserable and humiliating, but he doesn’t really understand the conflict of relief that comes with him.

Is it a relief that he doesn’t have to be scared by himself anymore?

The fact that he wasn’t alone during the time he was most afraid of.

Even though he was relieved, he felt indescribable shame in the fact that the person who had seen his most unwillingness to do is her.

Eventually, Erich couldn’t win his complicated mind and cried a little that night.

And after that he fell asleep as he was exhausted. He couldn’t understand himself, but strangely it wasn’t scary to fall asleep after that day.

******

“Really, I don’t know who Eugene resembles because he is too stubborn. He just have to do what the adults tell him to do, but his front and back are so tight that he resemble my brother.”

As usual, Mrs. Lenoard put Erich on her side and gossiped.

“Erich, you’re a good boy, so don’t be like your brother. Eugene, Cabel, and you have nothing to learn and see from them. You just need to do what your aunt says. Okay?”

Erich does not listen to her.

He was stroking Penny with an unfamiliar expressionless face. Probably, he made no response, no matter what Mrs. Lennon said.

‘”Aunt.”

But that day was different. Erich stared at Mrs. Lenoard eyes, as she looking at the sky.

“Stop offending my family to me.”

She seemed surprised that Erich, who seemed like a mess, first opened his mouth.

And soon she awkwardly laughed and said to the voice that flowed out from his mouth.

“Oh, Erich. What are you talking about? When did I swear to you about your family…”

“Aunt Aunt, I’m not dumb or half deaf.”

That was a few days ago, before Mrs. Lenoard left Ernst and spoke out in front of Hari and him. She had her eyes wide open when Erich say that.

No matter what she says, he was consistent only with no response, so he was not surprised at her unexpected guess that he have autism symptoms.

Erich was still staring at his aunt with an expressionless face.

“You think I’ve become a fool since I’m just listening. If my aunt curses like that, you think I’ll be brainwashed and think the same as my aunt?”

“E-Erich.”

“Or else, do you think I really don’t know why you want to be an aunt and stick to me like this?”

His quiet voice is consistently cold.

“Don’t be mistaken. No matter what my aunt does, I’m never going to like you more than my brothers.”

Mrs. Lenoard was just staring as if she had lost words to say to such Erich.

“Stop saying that to Hari, too.”

Erich stand up silently after one last comment.

“My aunt seems no more decent than her.”

***

“She cried.”

On the day Hari grabbed Cabel’s arm and tried to ask them to eat at the dining hall, Erich went to Eugene in his office and said.

Eugene seemed to have noticed who Erich had just said. With a firm face, he asked again to his younger brother.

“Cry?”

“She doesn’t want to eat alone.”

Of course, she’s not really crying for that reason.

And, in fact, even though she was crying, that was not the case. Since there wasn’t a drop of tears falling from Hari’s eyes.

But it must have been tears that hung on those purple eyes when she turned around after saying “I hate you.”

After that, neither Erich nor Cabel were not surprised and they could not move for a while.

Cabel was embarrassed and went to the right and left his room and went to Hari’s room and stood in front of it like a lost-dog.

Probably still do not know what to do, Cabel was wearing his head down in front of her door.

“I think my aunt said something.”

Erich saw the strong force of Eugene’s hands on his desk, as if pressing emotions.

“Brother, are you trying to do something?”

Erich was quick enough to think that even himself was a little evil. So he able dimly guessing that something was being prepared by Eugene.

“Sorry.”

His older brother had an apology that would not have to be with a hardened face.

“It wasn’t my intention to make you guys trying to endure something like this.”

Eugene seemed to feel a little bit of remorse for what they came up to now. Even though it was neither his fault nor his responsibility.

If he think about it later, Eugene at that time was very young.

The age of pretending to be an adult at least once, revealing a childlike stroke in front of others with a less mature body.

However, Eugene was a man who felt so infinitely large that Erich could not catch up to him.

As he got older, the feeling grew more and more rather than disappearing.

The person Erich respects and loves more than anyone else. And because of that brother….

“I can’t win…”

Erich lay on the bed and covers his face.

Penny who followed him barked under his feet, but as of now, he couldn’t care about anything else.

The girl he liked was holding his clothes in his brother’s room, with a strangely mature look.

When did it start?

But, in fact, that question had no meaning, the exact starting point of this emotion was unknown, as he was the same.

There was an unknown prey in his stinging heart. Didn’t he just act in front of Hari and Cabel?

A strange feeling.

Occasionally, it was because of the angular nature, and sometimes the words that were more than he thought popped out of his mouth and he was startled by himself.

‘I told you not to look so ugly.’

Whenever he did said that, Hari shook her tongue at him.

‘So I regret it every time.’

He was reminded of the fact that he was ashamed at the dining hall because she was asking if he hated her.

“Dummy.”

He can’t hate her. Rather, it’s the opposite, so now he think he will die.

“.. I like you.”

Erich vomited a sound he had never spit out of his mouth with his face still covered.

“I like you.”

Probably there is nothing to say aloud in front of her in the future.

He said that he would not support her because of this feeling…

Still, he was hoping for her happiness. And his happiness too.

“Come, Penny.”

“Woof!”

When he reached under the bed, the puppy still hovering around him climbed up, reaching out as if she had been waiting.

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Erich hugged Penny and lowered his eyelids.

It seemed to him that Penny’s warm body temperature, which lifted in his arms, comforted him.

He wasn’t a full grown-up yet, so it would take a little longer time for him to be okay.

Erich thought that the day would be over in a hurry with his eyes closed.