CH 8

It’s a purple light moving around in this dark place without light. That purple light was desperately flapping its wing in front of me as though it wanted to save me from sinking down.

“…a purple butterfly?”

Do butterflies fly around in this winter?

Butterflies in this cold weather where not even a single flower can bloom? It suddenly seemed to drift away from reality.

Then, slowly, my hazy mind began to come back to reality. As if waiting for me, the purple butterfly was hovering around me. As soon as the butterfly saw me returning to my senses, it began to fly somewhere, as if to guide me through the road.

While I was just staring at it, without moving, the butterfly came back and hovered around me again. Seeing it urging me, I gave strength to my feet again and slowly rose up.

“….”

The butterfly slowly guided me by moving its wings as if it was caring for my injured body.

Did Alice in Wonderland, who followed the rabbit, feel this way?

An unknown foreboding feeling of something happening started to fill me.

‘… The color is friendly.’

Is it a bit darker than my jagged purple hair?

It’s like my mom’s hair color.

Mom, my mom who died miserably at the spire.

‘Did she go to a good place?’

When I stopped moving at the sudden thought, the butterfly flew toward me and urged me again.

“I get it, I’ll follow you.”

I’m sure she went to a good place.

Let’s hope for that.

***

Suddenly, the butterfly stopped at a place.

“It’s the moon.”

The butterfly’s little wings pulled me out of the dark forest. Unlike the first time I saw, a bright moonlight was shining over me. That light seemed to save me from being surrounded by the darkness.

The overwhelming emotion forced me to look up at the moon for a while.

“It’s bright.”

A road that can reap this darkness. Now instead of being caught in the dark, I had a hopeful feeling that I could find a flower.

I lowered my head to look for flowers underneath the bright moonlight.

I looked down slightly, and like a funny thing-

“I found it.”

It was on a slightly higher wall, but it was there. The reddish red flowers stood in full bloom by overcoming the cold wind of the coming winter.

Although it was located at the height of about the second floor of the building, it seemed to be entirely possible to reach if I climbed up carefully.

“Okay, let’s do it!”

Burned with unusual motivation, I began to climb up slowly, stepping on the rocks that protruded from the bottom of the flowery wall. Every time I stepped on it, the stone dust fell from the rocks, and my heart began to pound.

“Phew.”

It was a bit risky, but fortunately, it seemed to hold my weight.

‘I’ll have to be careful when I’m going down.’

I thought I could somehow climb up, but I was worried about going down. I took a deep breath and took another step again. As I stepped on it one by one, I began to see a faint red light in my sight.

As I grabbed the stone sticking out in front of my eyes and moved my feet slightly to the side, a red flower appeared in front of me in full bloom.

“….”

How should I express this overwhelming and fluctuating emotion?

The joy of succeeding in the first step of writing my own story was beyond words.

‘Mom, I did it, I found the flowers.’

I was able to make the impossible possible.

I picked up the flower in front of my eyes with joy, and finally, I could smile, looking at the red petals that were held in my hands.

“Now, if I only go back …”

Let’s step slowly. I stepped carefully to my side, hoping that there would be no unforeseen situation.

However, maybe because of the tension being relieved, my injured foot wasn’t able to hold the center and bent to the one side.

And at that moment, I lost my balance. Without even getting the time to feel embarrassed, I began to fall down.

“Kyaaaaaaaa!”

The screams were short, and the speed of falling was fast.

The wounds, the already exhausted strength, and the body full of fatigue, of course, could not save me from falling. I fell to the ground with a scream.

“Argh!”

If I’m fortunate, I’m allowed to be grateful right?

I did not fall head-on, but I fell on the leg, so I had no reason to lose consciousness.

“Ack”

But that didn’t mean it was not painful. Unable to overcome the pain, my eyes filled with tears.

My feet, which might have been sprained when it hit the ground while falling, felt so painful that it couldn’t be explained in words.

When I touched my feet, which was wounded, by my hand, it was burning hot.

“Ah, Aah.”

I can’t make a sound. By any chance, the wild animal might come after me after hearing the sound. I raised my trembling arm and covered my mouth to prevent the sound from coming out. Even if it is not a wild animal, there could be monsters or a dangerous situation that I might not be aware of.

‘But it hurts so much, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts…’

Why did I make such a mistake after I’ve succeeded in it? Why should I be in this situation? Why should I be in pain?

Tears welled up from the moment of injustice and I covered my face with my hands. Otherwise, I thought I’d probably want to scream, and I thought I’d not be able to hold it in and cry bitterly.

The sorrow that had been contained inside my heart thus far exploded in the terrible pain.

Why does dad pretend not to know me?

Why did you abandon me?

Why didn’t my mom want to take care of me?

Why did you leave me behind first?

Why isn’t anybody looking at me?

At least one of them could have saved me.

‘…Mom, I miss you.’

Even though no one cared about me, at least my mom looked after me.

Why did you have to leave me behind like that?

Why should we be sacrificed to this story, Mom?

Slowly, a terrible pain climbed up to my body from my feet. The pain and loneliness as if the world seem to have abandoned me. And with the frustrating resentment, I had no choice but to endure crying desperately. Seeing this situation, the thought of passing this responsibility to someone was about to come out of my mouth.

At that moment.

I remembered the flowers that I had forgotten for a while in pain.

‘Where are the flowers?’

Suddenly, I turned my head around. The flowers were laid neatly beside me. When I saw the flowers that were in good condition, unlike me, I could breathe a little bit of clogged breath.

‘Crying…it’s not too late to do it after I succeed .’

I don’t know how much time has passed, but I could see a bluish light permeating the black sky.

I took a deep breath and slowly moved my head. At least, I have to check to see how serious it is.

I closed my eyes tightly to the pain that felt strange, turned my head, and opened my eyes wide.

I don’t know whether it was broken or seriously injured, but a terrible pain came up from the knee. Leaving behind the feeling that these feet were not my feet, I gave strength to my feet, reminding myself that I had no choice but to move.

“Ah.”

It hurts so much. Even with a little bit of strain on my feet, I felt a terrible pain and couldn’t move at all.

“I have to force myself to… drag it and go anyway.”

I just found the flowers, but it’s more unfair to give up in this state than being injured!

The rough breath coming out of my mouth continued to create a white breath.

I could not wait for someone to come to help me here.

“It’s late after dawn…”

Time was flowing without giving me a moment to hesitate.

But, I will succeed and not fail.

I must survive, by all means…

I was full of will.

However, there was a problem.

I had no idea where this place was. I’ve never been out of the gate before, and I even lost my way because the animals chased me…

‘I think the butterfly I saw a little while ago is gone…’

How am I supposed to find the way?

I felt tremendous pain all over my body, especially on my wounded right leg, and even though my temperature dropped, a cold sweat covered my back.

I slowly turned my head and tried to figure out this place. And then, as if waiting for me, the purple butterfly appeared again.

“… Are you going to take me back again?”

There was no answer because it wasn’t a person, but the butterfly took action instead of words. Just like when it guided me a while ago, It took the lead by flapping its wings.

As if I was possessed by something, I forced myself to pull my immobile leg and began to follow the butterfly.

Passing under a dark tree that covers the bright moonlight, and then through the bushes. Even if the road was long, I decided to believe this butterfly that led me to flowers.

But that’s another story when your body is at its limit.

‘It hurts…’

The pain on my legs was hard to bear. My body began to whine as if it had really reached its limit. The front gradually blurred, and the legs were losing strength.

‘Butterfly…’

In this situation where I am about to lose consciousness, the only thing I could believe in was the butterfly in front of me.

The purple butterfly’s fluttering wings gradually started to fade.

Is my vision blurring or is the butterfly fading away?

However, when I extended my hand forward, thinking that I shouldn’t miss it, my body which had endured for a while, failed to balance and began to fall forward.

‘Is it…the end?’

Was it not the butterfly disappearing, but my consciousness blurring?

The moment of falling forward came slowly, very slowly, like death.

When I sensed the pain and closed my eyes just before I hit the floor, someone appeared like a miracle and held my body.

“Whoo… thank God.”

Ah, that’s a familiar voice.

“…Lennox?”

I slowly opened my closed eyes because of the warmth that I felt from the touch.

Before I knew it, I was out of the dark forest and under the bright moon. Lennox, who suddenly appeared, managed to hold me before I fell.

I could see the sweat on his forehead as if he was running around hard. His sound of breathing was rough, although not as bad as mine.

“You …”

Lennox opened his mouth to speak, but then he stiffened his face with surprise. His gaze descended from my head, and when it reached the tip of my toes, his forehead crumpled visibly.

“Oh, my God, crazy…!”

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And an angry voice.

‘Why are you angry?’

I don’t know why, but even if you’re angry, will you do me a favor?

Again, I forcibly held back my slowly closing eyes and raised my hands holding the flowers.