Complicated Marriage

Reaching university I headed toward let library. Reaching library I saw Zen sitting alone. He was looking quite tensed up along with that he was also being shouted at by our chemistry professor. Looking at his face I felt like if he had some stones near him he would have made professor end up at hospital. Professor was shouting because he didn't do the assignment again. Obviously it was understoodable that he wouldn't be able to complete the assignments on his own as UD was busy with engagement preparation. I walked into the library. Settle at the corner table.

After a few minutes, Zen entered library and sat besides me. He showed me the blazer he was going to wear in the engagement. I really love it....I found it similar to the dress which I saw a few days ago. But I could remember it....It was custom made by the famous designer of American fashion industry.

Tweeter* tweeter*.... phone rang..

Zen's phone was ringing. I saw it says;

CRISTI(MOM)

Such a shock I couldn't handle at all. Zen went out to recieve the call but here I was struck with a great fear of shock. The caller name was Cristi(mom). My mother in law was named Cristi and if Zen called her Mom then it means.....

Obviously it means Zen was my husband to be....

Uff...Yuki, calm down it can be a coincidence. After all their are so many people with the same name. No need to get panicked. It's perfectly normal.I reassure myself with those words. I didn't want Zen as my husband he was better as friend. God please help me. Please let that Cristi be someone else not my mother in law....

Zen came back after 10 minutes....but that 10 minutes were similar to 10 years of waiting....uff I never waited for anyone that much eagerly. As soon as Zen settled down. I started attacking him with my questions. Calming down I asked my questions one by one. My first question was who was that person Cristi...He replied she was my mother. Then I asked so Cristi was really your mother's name....he again replied positively. I know sounds like a typical girlfriend who was inquiring her boyfriend. But can't help after all it was a question for my life.

My last question was is Cristi the CRISTI MASHWARI. After asking this questions my tricuspid and bicuspid valve opend and closed for 105 time per minute instead of 72 times... In other words my heart beat went up. I was hoping for a negative reply. but my life was not so easygoing for me. He replied positively. I was praying to God for negative answer but he intended to do something opposite. (⊙.☉)

I felt like crying.(-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩___-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩)

I was going to get married to Zen. I felt like telling it to Zen that I was his future wife but I feared that Zen wouldn't understand me and would blame me for choosing my selfish dreams. Obviously he would get angry after all I brought a wind tornado in his life.

Taking a deep breath I apologise to Zen for all those questioning rounds and started focusing on my studies. Now I didn't even want to meet my future husband. That Victoria's box. I hoped for that box to remain close forever. The feeling kept on depressing me. It depressed me till the depth of my life that once I tried to kill myself.I was disgusted by myself. How could I be so selfish. (｡•́︿•̀｡)

I destroyed three precious life. God is never gonna forgive me for that.

Reaching home I went to balcony and decided to jump off it. See where my selfishness brought me .....Here I was thinking about killing my self. I wrote a letter to my parents. Saying a final goodbye and my selfish Feelings. The letter says,

"

Mom, dad till now what ever you have done

that was for my benefits and fun,

You only have daughter one,

Who was playing with the sun,

It was obvious to burn....

I am so sorry now I have to run..

To jump of the building you earn.

"

I was ready to jump of. I stood up and counted till 1.....2...3

Suddenly I remembered. I have to keep the letter at a place where it would be visible. I kept the letter on my bed. And again stood up on the wall of balcony. I was thinking where my life ended up started from a mild dreams as child to suicide.

I never imagined that I would end up with such a horrific death. See where my selfishness brought me. Now there was no option other than death for me.....Take my advice never be selfish in life other wise you would have to die, single like me...My life story ends here.

I stood up on the wall and........

JUMPED OFF....