Confession

The room was too hot. Zhou Jingze tilted his head and sucked on her opposite ear. The cold and slender fingertips just hooked the thin shoulder straps, Xu Sui's heart trembled, and his eyes passed through his shoulders over the painting on the opposite wall. At that time, he inadvertently bowed his head and was startled.

Master Kui and 1017, one big and one small, were sitting on the ground looking at them, their eyes wide and round.

Xu Sui blushed all of a sudden, she pushed Zhou Jingze's shoulder away and motioned to him. Zhou Jingze turned his head, Demu and Orange Cat were looking up and staring at him intently, with a righteous expression, as if he shouldn't do this kind of unfaithfulness and day-to-day prostitution at home.

"Tsk," Zhou Jingze walked over and picked up the fat cat, holding the German Shepherd's collar in the other hand. "A single dog and a single cat, don't have to be so jealous of me."

Unexpectedly, 1017 was greatly stimulated, jumped out of Zhou Jingze's arms, and went straight to Xu Sui, who was sitting on the sofa. When Zhou Jingze looked back for the target, he found that the fat cat was sitting steadily in his girlfriend's arms, with his chin held up, looking like a villain.

"Don't be caught by me." Zhou Jingze raised his finger and pointed at it.

"Meow~" 1017 said fiercely, and immediately hid back into Xu Sui's arms.

Xu Sui was overjoyed when he saw 1017, and kept holding it and teasing it to play. After the last semester, Xu Sui and their female dormitory changed to an aunt, and the cat has been fostered here in Zhou Jingze.

The two hadn't confirmed the relationship before, and Xu Sui was not happy to bother him often.

It's all right now, it's their cat.

The light in the room is too dim, giving people a depressed feeling. Xu Sui got up with the cat in his arms, turned on the light, and opened the brown curtains. The light flooded in, and his eyes suddenly became clear.

Xu Suizheng walked to the sofa, and when he passed Zhou Jingze, his stomach gurgled out of time. Just as Zhou Jingze opened the refrigerator door, he had a meal with his hand holding ice water, and his other hand gently grabbed Xu Sui who had escaped and caught him back.

"Did not eat?" Zhou Jingze raised his eyebrows, closed the door of the refrigerator, and flicked on it with his mobile phone, "What do you want to eat?"

The takeaway was delivered quickly, and Zhou Jingze called a private kitchen. The dishes were exquisite and the taste was fragrant. He got up and took out a carton of milk from the refrigerator, stopped, and took it to the kitchen to heat it up.

Zhou Jingze sat back on the sofa again, handed the milk to Xu Sui, took the disposable tableware in her hand and took it apart before giving it to her. Xu Sui took it, took a few bites, and found that Zhou Jingze was lying on the sofa like boneless, looking down and brushing his phone, his expression lacking interest.

Xu Sui raised his eyes to look at him: "Don't you want to eat?"

Zhou Jingze didn't lift his head, his voice was weak, "I don't want to eat too much."

Xu Sui knew that he was in a bad mood and wanted him to eat a little too. He took a new pair of chopsticks and handed it over, with a soft voice: "But I want you to eat a little with me."

The air was still, and the wall clock on the wall made a ticking sound. Zhou Jingze was holding the phone, his sight finally came over. He threw the phone aside, arched his waist slightly, raised his hand and squeezed her face, with a smile in his tone:

"Xu Sui, I found that you are pretty good at acting like a baby."

Xu Suixin burned her mouth, quickly lowered her head, and put a bean jam into her mouth. A hand with clear joints pulled off the chopsticks in her left hand, and a lazy air sound rang in her ears:

"The key Lao Tzu is quite useful."

After they finished their meal, Zhou Jingze put the lunch box and garbage into the trash can. The two sit on the thick gray carpet and play games together.

Xu Sui accompanied him to play games in the living room all afternoon, not mentioning his absence from the exam.

After the game was over, Zhou Jingze threw away the switch handle, raised his hand and rubbed his neck, and said, "Don't ask me about my missing exam?"

Xu Sui shook his head and looked up at him: "When you want to say, you will tell me."

"It was a momentary moment to change to choose a major by volunteering," Zhou Jingze put his elbow on the floor and curled his lips in a self-deprecating way. "But when I was really flying in the sky, I liked it again."

"Once you are serious, you can't accept your failure." Zhou Jingze opened a can of carbonated drinks, raised his head and took a sip, his Adam's apple slowly rolling.

Xu Suiruo nodded thoughtfully: "Give me some time, you can overcome this obstacle."

This disease has been with him for so many years, and he will have an attack when he encounters a dark claustrophobic space. Zhou Jingze only treats her as a little girl with kind heart, and touches her head: "Okay."

Coming out of Zhou Jingze, Xu Sui took the bus to catch up with the school. After she returned to the dormitory to wash up, the first thing she did was to check the information on the computer, and she sat there too when the lights in the dormitory were off.

Hu Qianxi lay on the warm bed and turned over, looked down, and looked at Xu Sui at the desk, yawning: "Baby, you still don't sleep, go to bed, it's cold underneath."

"It's okay, it will be all right in a while." Xu Sui replied warmly.

Xu Sui checked a lot of materials and some journals in front of the computer. It said that the causes of claustrophobia are biological and hereditary factors. One of them is the growth environment and the way of family education.

Zhou Jingze's family... Xu Sui remembered seeing the irreconcilable relationship between him and his dad, and what he said about playing the frank game.

Before going to bed, Xu Sui held the phone, hesitated for a moment, and asked: "Your illness is related to your childhood? 】

Ten minutes later, zjz replied: [Hmm. 】

The next day, Xu Sui and Liang Shuang went to class together. After they found a seat, the teacher hadn't come yet. Xu Sui sat in the third row, turned around with a pen, pushed his companion's arm, and asked, "Shuang Shuang, a very good senior who came back to school to give a lecture last time, you have his connection. Way?

To the suspicious look in Shang Liang Shuang's eyes, Xu Sui added: "He is the one who opened a psychological consultation office after graduation."

"Oh, Guan Xiangfeng, the homepage of the campus website has his contact information," Liang Shuang put down his pencil case and smiled mysteriously at her. "But you asked the right person. A senior sister I want to have has his personal WeChat account. I'll push it to you later."

"Thank you Shuangshuang."

"You're welcome."

After returning to the dormitory after the class, Liang Shuang actually got Guan Xiangfeng’s WeChat account to push her, and Xu Sui clicked to add it. The verification message was very polite and decent: Hello, brother, Xu Suiyou, a clinical medical student of the 2011 level, has a personal question. Ask you.

At exactly one noon, Guan Xiangfeng passed her WeChat request. Xu Sui made a long story short and cut directly to the subject: [Hello, brother. I’m Xu Sui. I would like to ask a friend of mine who is claustrophobic. What is the treatment. 】

After a while, Guan Xiangfeng sent a location and returned a message: [Interviews are more effective. I will ask the nurse to make an appointment for you at some point in the afternoon. 】

Xu Suihui: [It's three o'clock in the afternoon. 】

Guan Xiangfeng: [Okay, waiting for you to come. 】

In the afternoon, Xu Sui took the bus all the way to the city according to the address given by Guan Xiangfeng, and found his hospital 800 meters away from Vientiane City.

After going up, Xu Sui said at the front desk about his appointment time. After about a cup of tea, a nurse walked through the corridor and led her to Guan Xiangfeng's office.

Xu Sui raised his hand and slammed the door and made a "beep" sound, and a warm and windy voice sounded, "Go in."

Xu Sui pushed the door in. There was a doctor in a white coat sitting at the desk on the right, with a pen on his chest, and a pile of messy folders on his right. He wore a pair of silver-rimmed glasses and looked handsome.

"Sister Xu, isn't it?" Guan Xiangfeng smiled, and pressed the internal phone, "What to drink?"

"Boiled water is fine, thank you." Xu Sui answered.

When the water came up, Xu Sui briefly explained Zhou Jingze's situation. Guan Xiangfeng nodded and drew out the pen on his chest: "You probably understand the situation. Can you let your friend come directly? Face treatment is better."

Xu Sui shook his head: "I'm afraid not, he probably won't come."

Zhou Jingze is such a proud person. If she accidentally bumped into the elevator, he wouldn't let her know his fragile side.

"He said that claustrophobia is not enough, it is only mild. Fear of darkness will aggravate his symptoms." Xu Sui added.

Guan Xiangfeng took a pen to record on the paper, and then pondered for a while: "Then the influence of mental shadows is actually greater."

"Most of them require early-stage psychological treatment and later-stage drug intervention. You said he didn't even try? Abandoned the exam?" Guan Xiangfeng asked.

"Yes."

"Escape, maybe the symptoms are not so serious. Or try the systemic desensitization therapy." Guan Xiangfeng extended his index finger and pushed his glasses, suggesting.

After hearing the doctor say this, Xu Sui breathed a sigh of relief, but she thought of something: "I checked the information, and the desensitization effect of the system seems to be relatively slow. He is a pilot, and he must not be too delayed. Can you try the full filling therapy? ."

Full treatment is to let the patient enter a horrible situation and restore the scene at the time. When the patient tries to confront or cover his ears, eyes, and eyes, he must repeat the details tirelessly and prevent the patient from escaping.

This treatment has a fast effect, but if the patient does not adapt, it will have a stress response and may faint in the middle.

A hint of surprise flashed through Guan Xiangfeng's eyes. She did not expect that she had done so much homework in advance, and she pondered for a while: "Yes, I will give him two sets of test questions first and teach you what to do."

"The most important point is that throughout the treatment, I have to watch it remotely and keep talking with you."

Xu Sui hesitated for a while, and finally nodded: "Okay."

Before leaving, this senior Xu Suichong bowed to express her gratitude. When she was about to leave with the doorknob in her hand, Guan Xiangfeng suddenly called to her: "Take the liberty to ask, that friend is very important to you. person?"

Xu Sui smiled: "Yes."

Very important.

…

When Xu Sui went to Zhou Jingze's house with a bunch of test questions, he said his thoughts in a cautious tone. As a result, Zhou Jingze nodded without even thinking about it.

"So... simple?" Xu Sui's tone was incredulous.

She thought that according to Zhou Jingze's arrogant character, it would be very difficult for him to receive treatment and face his own past failures.

Zhou Jingze leaned back on the sofa and played with her mobile phone. He moved his eyes to her, raised his hand and rubbed her hair, his tone was casual and unreserved of trust:

"Isn't there you?"

Zhou Jingze quickly completed two sets of psychological test questions in his notebook, spreading both hands, and then went back to the sofa. Xu Sui sat on the carpet, moved back to the computer, compressed the test questions he answered into a package and sent it to Guan Xiangfeng's mailbox.

Not long after, Guan Xiangfeng sent an email reply: Yes, his physical and psychological conditions are stable and above the tolerable range. You can give it a try.

Xu Sui moved the computer aside, put his hand on Zhou Jingze's knee, and asked, "When did you...when did the first shadow happen?"

"Ten years old," Zhou Jingze put his phone aside, his tone was casual, "It's in the basement of this house."

"It's here?" Xu Sui couldn't help widening his eyes, his eyelashes trembling.

He experienced this kind of thing at such a young age, and he later lived here alone for so long.

Zhou Jingze lowered his dark eyelashes and curled the corners of his lips: "I really remember, I'm not sure if I can stand it."

Xu Sui couldn't help holding his hand, and said softly, "It's okay, you still have me."

Zhou Jingze and Xu followed the stairs on the right side of his study. The stairs were very narrow, and they needed to go down side by side one after another.

Zhou Jingze has been holding her firmly. From the time he went downstairs, Xu Sui noticed that his nerves were very nervous, his back was like a bow, and he collapsed very tightly.

The line of sight in front of him gradually narrowed and darkened. After stepping down the last stairs, Zhou Jingze stood there, closed his eyes, and reached out to touch the switch on the wall.

Xu Sui felt a layer of sweat on his palm.

With a "bang", the lights came on, and the dim space was instantly bright as day, with countless tiny dust floating under the lights. Xu Sui looked over.

The basement is about 30 square meters. Now it has become an abandoned grocery room. On the ground lie a basketball and an abandoned bicycle. There is also a layer of shelf planks next to it, and a thick layer of ash accumulates.

Zhou Jingze let go of her hand and walked towards the shelf board, reaching for the items on it. Xu Sui looked before it was a black leather belt with the patent leather off, but the metal buckle was still glowing cold.

"Tsk, my dad used this to hit me." Zhou Jingze said slowly, like a bystander.

"Because of what?" Xu Sui asked him.

"Because-"

Zhou Jingze was thinking about it. With a "slap", the light went out, and his eyes fell into pitch black. Only the small window on the opposite wall emitted a faint light.

Zhou Jingze swallowed hard, and the feeling of heart palpitations began to appear. He subconsciously stepped back and wanted to touch the switch on the wall. He held his hand with one hand, which was very warm.

"It's okay," Xu Suiwen said, "you speak slowly."

"I remember Zhou Zhengyan was starting a business at that time. The career was very unsatisfactory. When he married my mother, he was strongly opposed by family members, especially some uncles, who often underestimated him. But he never dared to tell my mother. Temper, because my mother's income from playing the cello is all invested in him, and he can only please my mother."

"He has failed many times in his investment and lived a lifeless life. He only came to me to vent. He usually scolded me harshly, and when it was serious, he would hit me on the shoulder with a book."

Until one day, Zhou Mu Yanning went abroad to visit a friend. Because of the cold weather, Zhou Jingze caught a cold and coughed constantly. The doctor came over and hung two bottles of water and couldn’t get better. The nanny said this when talking to Yanning. thing.

Yan Ning immediately called Zhou Zhengyan and repeatedly told him that he must take the children to see in person. Zhou Zhengyan responded nicely, turned around and plunged into the study to call someone to invest.

Zhou Jingze coughed for a whole day, coughing in the middle of the night, tinnitus, and his lungs coughed out. Because he was afraid of waking his dad, he lay down on the bed, covering his mouth, coughing his shoulders trembling, and his voice was intermittent.

Later, Zhou Jingze couldn't bear it. He had difficulty breathing, and his abdomen had pain on both sides from time to time. He got up from the bed with difficulty, coughing and knocking on his dad's door all the way, clutching his chest.

I don't know if the memory is too embarrassing, or if he is in a dark claustrophobic environment, Zhou Jingze has already developed a layer of sweat on his forehead and his face is pale.

"And then?" Xu Sui could not hold Zhou Jingze's hand tightly.

Zhou Jingze leaned against the wall with his eyes cold, but the curvature of his lips habitually rose: "He is up."

Then the nightmare began.

With a "bang", Zhou Zhengyan opened the door. Zhou Jingze was startled. Before he could react, Zhou Zhengyan had a sullen face and suddenly picked up his back collar and dragged it into the room.

Zhou Jingze couldn't get rid of it at all. Zhou Zhengyan held his head and knocked on the wall, screaming while bumping: "I have to bear you all night, cough, cough, and **** let people not sleep."

"Fuck! How come I gave birth to such an unlucky thing like you."

Zhou's father's insulting insults sounded in his ears. Zhou Jingze was hit against a hard wall. There was a pain in his head. The pain made him cry. In the end, the pain was so painful that he lost consciousness, only feeling warm blood gushing out of his forehead. , Drop by drop on the ground, shocking.

Finally he cried and grabbed Zhou Zhengyan's hand to beg for mercy: "Dad, I'm sorry... I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Zhou Zhengyan stopped now. He still felt that his anger had not subsided. Zhou Jingze was upset and locked in the basement, regardless of his son's crying, and he was locked.

Zhou Jingze cried until six o'clock in the morning and wanted to go out. The surrounding was dirty and damp, and it was completely dark in front of him. He stayed in the basement cold and hungry, but innocently wanted to hunger strike.

The babysitter told Zhou Zhengyan about this. He had been asking for help and financing in the past two days, and he was so annoyed that he slammed through the door of the basement and struck him with a belt.

Zhou Jingze recalled, as if falling into the scene at the time, covering his heart and gasping for breath, a trembling voice came from the voice-over:

"What did he say when he hit you?"

Zhou Jingze's face turned pale, his limbs were cold, his head leaned back on the wall, and his tone was weak: "You bastard, you've been blocking Lao Tzu all day."

The soaked leather belt whip and whip on his body, Zhou Jingze felt his clothes being worn away, his flesh and blood like being scraped by a knife, and the pain made him almost fainted.

He also had a high fever and his head was dizzy, as if his nerve perception were not his own anymore.

A pair of bright leather shoes appeared in front of him. Zhou Zhengyan grabbed his hair and stared at him: "Do you know where I am wrong?"

"I shouldn't annoy you."

At this moment, Zhou Jing was dying and leaned his back against the wall, subconsciously embracing himself, forming a self-safe posture, repeating these words unconsciously.

"Sorry, Senior Brother Guan." Xu Sui couldn't bear it anymore, tears fell down, covering the hidden camera in the corner, and throwing away the communicator near his ear.

Xu Sui couldn't bear it, the embarrassed side of her most proud and wanton teenager was seen by others.

What he needs should be flowers and applause.

With constant voices, black spiders crawled over, Zhou Jingze raised his hand to cover his ears, in a daze, someone stopped it. He unconsciously repeated some messy words, unable to tell who said it.

"You can't get out anymore," said a sulky male voice.

"Yes, the exit is there." A soft female voice thought.

"You're a frustrated guy, it's better to die." Someone reminded him repeatedly.

Zhou Jingze felt that he had difficulty breathing, was strangled by a powerful hand, and was entangled in poisonous snakes, plunged into the abyss, unable to move.

"You are not." The female voice sounded again, and a hot tear dripped on the back of his hand.

Zhou Jingze was imprisoned for two days and two nights. In the end, he developed a high fever. He opened his eyes in a daze. The spider crawled around at his feet. He backed away in fear. The surroundings were dark, like a huge black box. It made people unable to move, and he seemed to never get out.

"Can't get out." Zhou Jingze's lips were pale.

Dou Da's sweat rolled down from his forehead, Zhou Jingze's eyelashes drooped, his lips were pale, and he was panting. He was confused, and a gentle voice tried to call him:

"Zhou Jingze, look, there is light."

Xu Sui squatted in front of him, not knowing where to find a lighter. Zhou Jingze raised his eyes afterwards. The two eyes collided, and a cluster of orange flames burst, illuminating a face with red lips and white teeth. The clear and dark eyes only reflected him.

The ringing in the surrounding tinnitus disappeared, the sound of heartbeat gradually calmed down, and the teetering flame in front of me looked like a dim star with light.

"God said there should be light, so there was light."

Zhou Jingze's eyes were dark, and he couldn't hold it anymore, he drove into a warm embrace.