Confession

Chapter 79: Confess my whole youth is you

The high school party was scheduled for Friday. After work, Xu Sui put on a makeup after returning home. When she traced her lips in the mirror, she looked at the look of a vigorous face in the mirror with a sense of wonder.

Who would have thought that what she hated the most in the past was looking in the mirror, holding a bleak, acne-prone face, and often burying it in the generous school uniform.

Head down and hurriedly passed by the chatting and laughing boys in the hallway, and the whole audience cheered for him in the corner of the court.

I often hope that no one will notice her, and hope that he will notice her.

Xu Sui regained consciousness and found that the lipstick was applied a little bit off, so she pulled out a tissue and put it in front of the mirror to wipe off the excess lipstick.

At a quarter past eight in the evening, Xu Sui appeared at the hotel waiting for Qiu to come. When she opened the door to enter, there were already a dozen people inside.

When Xu Sui went in, she was actually a little nervous. In high school, she had a relatively quiet and introverted personality, and followed the principle of "studying hard". She spent most of her time dealing with papers, so she basically had no friends.

As soon as she entered, the people in the field were stunned for a moment. The squad leader reacted first and said: "Xu Sui, you have changed so much, you are very beautiful, I almost didn't recognize it."

"I heard that you are working in Puren now. Will you be able to see you in the future?" someone interjected.

Xu Sui smiled, and was about to answer, a head came forward with a smile on her face: "The pretty sister still remembers me, sports committee member Wang Jian, no one reported for the three-kilometer sports meeting, fortunately you are kind. Saved me for this project, come in and sit down."

"Remember, after all, my leg was useless for a week." Xu Sui joked.

Xu Sui walked in, stretched out a hand from the pile of girls, and said, "At the same table, come here, I'll reserve a place for you."

She glanced over, and she was at the same table in her original high school. Not long after Xu Sui sat there, people came in one after another.

After three years of high school and nearly ten years later, everyone has changed their appearance.

The topic has changed from the ambiguity of boys and girls in the student days, who wears a shorter skirt, to scolding the boss for stupidity, and who is married.

Zhou Jingze, Cong Yurong and other people were late. As soon as they came in, the venue heated up. Someone joked: "Zhou Ye and Ban Hua came together."

Cong Yurong smiled and was about to answer, and a tired voice came in. Zhou Jingze kicked the nearest boy and chuckled: "Go to your mother, I met at the door."

After speaking, he raised his eyes and looked at Xu Sui who was not far away. His eyes were domineering and straightforward. Xu Sui also looked back at him, and the two of them looked at him for a while.

She looked away first.

Xu Sui was sitting there chatting with her deskmate, and suddenly, there was a woman wearing a beige coat, thin-rimmed glasses, white skin and light-colored boots walking in.

It's Zhong Ling.

Zhong Ling walked up to Xu Sui and greeted him, and asked, "Is there anyone next to you?"

Xu Sui was taken aback for a moment, shook his head, and said, "No."

Zhong Ling sat down beside her, Xu Sui smelled the faint perfume of her body. She didn't expect Zhong Ling to come. They lost contact after the college entrance examination was over. To be precise, Zhong Ling unilaterally blocked her QQ and cancelled her account on the campus network.

Becoming friends with Zhong Ling is a coincidence.

In the third year of high school, the art students returned to study after their advanced studies, the seats in the whole class were changed, and the system of one group and one assistance was implemented. As a music student, Zhong Ling needed to make up for the culture class, so Xu Sui became her deskmate.

After some contact, Xu Sui found that Zhong Ling was very similar to her. They were both warm-tempered, sensitive and slow-heated. The only difference was that Zhong Ling had a gloomy personality and his thoughts were full of negative energy. He wore a thick pair of temperaments. Frame, often sleeping and wandering, I don’t know what I’m thinking.

Until one time there was a power outage in their building.

When the lights went out, a whole building cheered, and the floor was about to be trampled by them. Some people took the opportunity to run to the window and shouted. Some even threw the test paper on the ground and stepped on a few feet in vent.

The English teacher in class knocked on the table with a paddle ruler amidst mad cheers, and announced: "Twenty minutes of self-study, and school will be over before the electricity comes.

As soon as the voice fell, the cheers and screams became louder, and the decibels were so loud that they were about to overturn the roof.

When the English teacher went to the toilet, the boys in the back row of the class were already restless and messed up. The group of boys headed by Zhou Jingze picked up the football under their feet, kicked open the crumbling door behind, and walked away. go out.

Xu Sui used the brightness of the moonlight to clean up the messy desk, and the back desk poked her back with a pen to borrow a water-based pen. Xu Sui took out a black pen from his pencil case and turned around, but he glanced at the young man with broad shoulders, tall and thin, and wearing a black t-shirt casually walking.

He was chewing gum one after another, holding a silver lighter in his right hand, and occasionally bursting orange flames to illuminate the tattoo on the back of his hand.

Z&Heliotrope

Publicity is arrogant and very attractive.

The next four class is the class teacher. He is too good to behave and spontaneously chorus Jay Chou's "Qilixiang", just when he sang "It rained all night, my love overflowed like rain", Zhou Jingze came to the back door of the fourth class slowly. , Knocked on the glass window and smiled casually:

"Don't sing, go kick the ball."

The black figure had already disappeared in the corner. Xu Sui lowered his eyelids and retracted his gaze. After a short while, Zhong Ling approached and asked: "Skip class and go to the playground?"

The good student followed like a ghost, and nodded unexpectedly.

Holding hands, the two sneaked to the school playground. They found a piece of clean green grass and sat down and watched the boys playing on the court.

The summer night was still a bit sultry, and there were unknown bugs around, and Xu Sui slapped his hot cheeks with the test paper.

Zhong Ling suddenly said in a daze: "Do you know why I changed my career halfway to study art?"

"Why?" Xu Sui answered.

"Because of being alone." Zhong Ling looked over.

Xu Sui sat on the green grass, hugged his knees and looked at her eyes. Zhou Jingze didn’t know when he changed his clothes. He was wearing a red jersey, black pants, and Nike sports stockings. His calf muscles were tight and the lines were smooth and smooth Pretty.

With a ball at his feet, Zhou Jingze kept running forward, like a vigorous leopard, with sweat dripping from his forehead, he directly lifted the corner of his collar and wiped the sweat casually, revealing a free and easy atmosphere.

Xu Sui put his chin on his knees, his heart tightened, and tentatively asked: "Zhou Jingze?"

Zhong Ling nodded and said, "Yes."

Xu Sui smiled, too, nothing strange, everyone loves Zhou Jingze.

Later, Zhong Ling didn't know whether it was out of trust or lack of a person to talk to. She told Xu Sui about her secret girl's thoughts.

Zhong Ling said that she had a crush on Zhou Jingze since junior high school, and she knew that under the cynical face that always showed people with a smile, it was actually just a mask with kindness and sincerity hidden in it.

Zhong Ling had a big fight with her dad when he changed to music study halfway through high school. Because this is a very risky thing, first of all, she learns more slowly than other art students, and she is not talented enough.

Others have already reached the middle, and she has just come to the starting point.

But she didn't regret it at all.

In art class, Zhong Ling can listen to him playing the cello openly, and secretly record the "serenade" he played with his mobile phone and listen to him repeatedly at night when he returns home.

When Zhou Jingze was in class, he would occasionally call her "Hey, it's in class." Although he didn't even remember her name, Zhong Ling still had a quick heartbeat. He hurriedly stuffed the test paper into the drawer and followed him out of the classroom.

"But he should never see me." Zhong Ling smiled bitterly as he chased the running figure on the court with his eyes.

Xu Sui held her hand, lowered his eyes and said softly, "I understand."

Zhong Ling gave her a weird look.

After the college entrance examination, Zhong Ling did not confess to Zhou Jingze. Before long, she deleted Xu Sui's contact information. Xu Sui guessed that Zhong Ling didn't just delete her alone, he should be trying to get rid of the past.

Sure enough, after Zhong Ling logged off the social account of the campus network, the homepage was blank.

Suddenly, a voice pulled Xu Sui's thoughts back. She held a glass of sparkling wine, her eyelashes opened slightly: "What?"

Zhong Ling asked her, "I asked where you work now?"

"Puren," Xu Sui raised his hand and took a sip of sparkling wine, feeling the smell of carbonic acid between his lips and teeth, "how about you?"

Zhong Ling smiled rarely, she said: "I am a violinist in the Rainbow Chorus."

"Very good." Xu Suiying said.

Besides, she didn't know what to say.

People are coming together one after another, and between eating, it is natural to push the cup and change the cup and secretly compete. When seated, Xu Sui deliberately separated from Zhou Jingze. It happened that Zhong Ling was on her right and Wang Jian, the sports committee member on her left.

As a man of the school, Zhou Jingze was the center of everyone's topic at the beginning. Someone asked him: "Master Zhou, I heard that you are young, with four bars on your shoulders, and you have become a captain."

"You are young and promising, admire, admire." The squad leader clasped his fist.

Zhou Jingze held the square mouth wine glass, shook the wine inside, and twitched the corner of his mouth:

"Now unemployed."

Everyone in the venue, except Xu Suiquan, laughed and clinked glasses with him, with envious eyes: "What's the matter, go back and continue the family property, right?"

"Yes, Boss Zhou, there is no shortage of security positions in your group, I'm on top."

These flattery, more or less envy, Zhou Jingze still looked sloppy, he didn't intend to explain, and there was no need, the corners of his lips pulled out a slight arc to pass the topic.

Wang Jian, the sports commissioner sitting on the left, sat next to Xu Sui, very enthusiastic. After a while, he asked her if she would like to drink water, and after a while he took the initiative to add vegetables to her bowl.

The enthusiasm made Xu Sui a little overwhelmed.

This scene happened to be seen by the monitor, and a group of loud voices began to roar; "Jianjian, I'm so thirsty, please pour me a glass of water."

"Jianjian, you are partial, why do you only take care of classmate Xu." A male classmate pinched his throat and shouted.

Wang Jian persuaded this group of boocious people and said with a smile: "Fuck off, don't you have hands or feet?"

The atmosphere was noisy, and suddenly a cold and low voice came in, shouting, "Wang Jian."

"Here!" Wang Jian was talking to others, and reflexively replied.

As soon as Wang Jian said this, the roar of laughter grew even louder. The squad leader yelled: "Do you **** think you are still in the Zhou Ye team and you are used to being under his command."

"No." Wang Jian touched his head embarrassedly.

Holding a bottle of beer, Zhou Jingze knocked to the corner of the table, and the bottle cap fell to the ground with a "clang". He handed it to Wang Jian, staring at him with sharp and dark eyes, still smiling at the corner of his mouth:

"Come on, respect those years on the court."

Wang Jian took it, and drank half a bottle of beer in the mist. In the following time, Zhou Jingze seemed to be only targeting him, pouring him in a different way.

As a result, Wang Jian went to the toilet several times and vomited three times in a row.

Xu Suizheng was talking to Wang Jian. The screen of the mobile phone placed aside lit up. She picked it up and saw that it was a message from Zhou Jingze:

[You try to talk to him again. 】

Xu Suixin trembled and looked up, and a short distance away, he ran into a pair of deep and dark eyes.

Zhou Jingze's eyes were unscrupulous and aggressive, and he looked straight over.

Zhou Jingze didn't let her go until someone nearby called him.

Desserts are served after a meal, and the autonomy is naturally handed over to the girls. Cong Yurong sat next to Zhou Jingze. When she looked down at the menu, she drew her hair casually. Seeing that the hair was about to be brushed on Zhou Jingze's arm, the man turned sideways calmly.

Pounced for nothing.

Disappointment flashed through Yurong's beautiful eyes.

Moving his eyes from Yurong to the menu, Kordan-colored nails pointed to the large fruit platter on it, and said, "Why don't you order a large mango, I like this flavor the most."

When Ban Hua spoke, everyone said they had no objection. Who doesn't like to accommodate beautiful women. When Cong Yurong was about to call the waiter to order this, Zhou Jingze leaned back on the chair and suddenly spoke with a deep voice:

"I'm allergic to mango."

Xu Sui's eyelids trembled.

Cong Yurong exclaimed, his red lips pressed together: "Ah, you are allergic, then I'll order something else."

A small episode passed, and the group planned to move to the box on the top floor. The monitor stood up, tapped the cup with his chopsticks, and said, "Comrades, lesbians can now change into our heavenly school uniforms, the nameplate of Class 3, and we will have a group photo after opening the time machine mailbox in a while. Woolen cloth."

"Hurt, don't say it, I deliberately found out the school uniform under my press box, guess what, the zipper can't be closed."

"Years are a pig-killing knife, slapped into my face."

"Today we also miss youth, so let's call it seventeen."

Seventeen, the two words that are so beautiful and fleeting are the age when SHE songs sang "both expectation and fear".

Xu Suihe and Zhong Ling were slower, and when they came out, there was no one in the locker room. Zhong Ling turned on the faucet, and the water poured down.

Tianzhong’s school uniforms are typical Chinese school uniforms. They are neither blue-and-white in idol dramas nor uniform skirts in Japanese dramas. Their uniforms are big and old-fashioned, and even show a kind of tacky.

But when I put it on now, I think it looks good again.

Xu Sui looked at herself in the mirror while tying her hair. He had a pair of black eyes, fair skin, light red lips, small hairs on his forehead, high ponytail, cyan school uniform, and a band of orange in the middle of the sleeves, like a lighted one. Pen.

Zhong Ling looked at Xu Sui in the mirror, and suddenly asked, "Are you with Zhou Jingze?"

Xu Sui took a hold of her hair, put it down, and said softly, "Forget it, but how do you know?"

"The look in his eyes, he looked at you," Zhong Ling smiled, and then said sharply, "Also, I remember you are allergic to mangoes."

Xu Sui nodded. Zhong Ling's heart was pricked by a needle. Seeing a boy who had a long crush on remembering other girls' allergies, she felt an indescribable feeling in her heart.

"Can you help me keep it secret, in front of my classmates...mainly me and him, it's a bit complicated now," Xu Sui said.

"You are very lucky." Zhong Ling nodded, turned off the faucet, took a paper towel and walked out while wiping her hands. She seemed to think of something and said to Xu Sui.

"Not all secret loves can see the sky."

After speaking, Zhong Ling turned and left.

Xu Sui silently, she had known it all along.

After Xu Sui washed his hands, he also left the locker room.

Before long, the locker room made a "bang", the door was kicked open, and she walked out of Yurong. She had a white corset button in one hand, and her clothes were not ready yet, and the mirror reflected resentment on her face. Angry expression.

"Sisi, guess what would she write in the time machine'for herself in ten years' time?" Cong Yurong asked the girl next to her.

"Write what?"

"The shabby, poor and ugly girl with low self-esteem dressing in school days, of course, hopes to get rid of all this," Cong Yurong said with her eyes rolling, "read her letter in public for a while."

She wanted Xu Sui to make a fool of herself.

After changing the school uniform, he opened the door, Xu Sui was in a daze, as if he had really returned to the school days of wearing school uniforms, writing test papers, and occasionally daydreaming after class.

Zhou Jingze was wearing a sloppy school uniform with his shirt open. He held a can of beer in his hand. His wrist bones were clearly protruding. Others didn't know what he said. He had a sullen smile on his face.

A nameplate is pinned to the left side of his chest, with his name engraved stroke by stroke:

Senior one (three) class Zhou Jingze

Still that frivolous and wanton boy.

It seems to have really crossed.

It wasn't until the monitor said that she regained her senses and found an empty seat on the sofa. Xu Sui leaned over to get a can of drink. Just as her hand stretched out, a cold fingertip just touched the back of her hand.

Xu Sui looked at him.

Zhou Jingze also looked at her.

"Old rules, play games and lose the truth or dare. Truth is to read what I wrote ten years ago in the second speech."

After a round of the game, everyone chose to recite the wish they had written at the beginning, but when they really read it out, everyone laughed, because the second speech was passionate.

"I will save the world when I grow up."

"I hope I can travel around the universe in Noah's Ark."

Girls’ desires are not so fanciful, they are all "have a good job and someone who loves themselves", or "hope that they are more beautiful and rich."

Xu Sui remembers that this time mailbox activity was initiated by the class leader in the third year of high school. She did not hand in the leave after she was sick that day. After the college entrance examination, she did not contact other people, and this incident was forgotten.

Until the next semester, they organized a party, and the monitor urged Xu to hand in the letter. Xu Sui was very busy at that time, hurriedly wrote a letter and mailed it.

In the second round of the game, Xu Sui lost in the first round. She also chose an insurance method and said, "Read the letter."

She should have written some sentences wishing for world peace and stability in life.

The literary committee found Xu Sui's letter from a pile of envelopes, saw a sun drawn on the envelope, and then it was crossed off again. After a short while, another sun appeared next to him and looked puzzled.

She opened the envelope and stumblingly said:

"ZJZ, hello, I'm Xu Sui, and I'm also your classmate. If you write to confess such an old-fashioned thing, you might laugh at me—"

Xu Sui "cocked" in her heart, she actually sent the wrong letter, and the letter that had not been sent out and repeatedly altered appeared here.

She subconsciously wanted to ask her to get the letter back, but it was too late, and the voice of discussion and gossip around was getting louder and louder. From Yurong they even leaned over to look.

All around laughed loudly, and someone said, "Who has put it wrong? You sent the confession letter by mistake."

"ZJZ, who is this, Zhao Jianzheng, someone has a crush on you!"

"Wow, there is one thing to say, writing letters is really old fashioned." Someone smiled.

There is noisy surroundings, no one cares what the content of the letter is. The sound of singing, whistles, and the sound of wine glasses clashing together has already overwhelmed the content of the letter.

Suddenly, with a "slap", Zhou Jingze directly lifted a wine glass on the table and slammed it to the ground, the fragments splashed. He sat there with his elbows on his thighs, lifted his eyelids and looked at everyone present. , With hostile and dark emotions under his eyes, his tone slowly:

"Is it funny?"

The scene quieted down instantly. They didn't know why Zhou Jingze suddenly became angry, but they still didn't dare to speak.

The literary committee read the letter again. There were still fine voices around, they didn't agree, but at the end of the hearing, the room was so quiet that even a needle could be heard. Everyone stopped talking and quieted unanimously.

The literary committee has a nice voice. I don’t know if she is emotionally infected or something. She reads seriously and emotionally, with a slow tone, saying every word:

ZJZ, hello, this is Xu Sui, and I am also your classmate. If you write to confess such an old-fashioned thing, you might laugh at me.

I like your flaming jersey, wearing a brace and running to score goals and win screams. I like your frivolous and magnanimous appearance, speaking on the stage and talking about your ideals. I like your tantrum and silently smoking out and suffocating. Work hard to finish what you left behind.

I even like your frowning eyebrows, and the sloppy smile when you play tricks on people.

When the weather is good, I think of you, and when I see the sunset, I think of you. The white paper is you, and the blue shirt is you.

It’s me who turns my head and peeks at you every Monday morning and my neck is sore. It’s me who listens to you on the top floor when it rains and plays the cello.

No one knows that all of my youth is you.

What do I use to keep you.

When you played the cello before, you wanted to be able to see ordinary and ordinary shadows as soon as you lowered your head.

Want to be the adsorbed ice mist that you love to drink carbonated drinks after playing, it is easy to dissipate but it is in your memory.

Later you became a pilot, flying tens of thousands of feet in the sky, passing through the desert, crossing the course, and seeing the vast universe. Want to become a star, a star you can't catch a glimpse of in your daily flight.

Even bleak and unremarkable.

It is said that the secret love in youth has no name, so I only dare to write abbreviations for your name.

Not Z, J, Z, but Zhou, Jing, Ze.

This is the first time I don't know how many times I have practiced calling your name again and again, this time I finally bravely called out.

Zhou Jingze, I like you.

Did you hear that?

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