Cry, Even Better if you Beg

Chapter 14. Desired that Woman (1)

In his sight, Leyla was trembling helplessly.

Even though she often pretended to act brave, she was always easily frightened.

She had been like that since childhood.

Matthias started walking towards Leyla while he recollected his memory of the young girl. He stopped a few steps away from Leyla as her eyes gradually turned to his hand. To be exact, to the glasses he was holding in his hand.

“I’m….. sorry.”

Leyla barely opened her lips. Her eyes were filled with anger, but her apology was polite.

“I didn’t think you’d be here. I’m very sorr….”

“What if I didn’t have it? Did you think it was okay to sneak in?”

Matthias tilted his head to look at Leyla. Every time she blinked, her eyes progressively got redder. Even though she looked like she was about to cry, her eyes were still steady.

“Like… a thief?”

Matthias sneered with his low voice. Leyla’s blushing cheeks were visibly seen even in the dark.

“I just wanted to get back what was rightfully mine.”

“Ah. This?”

Leyla’s cheeks flushed harder when he lifted her glasses. When Matthias looked closer at Leyla’s face, her ears were even beginning to turn red.

“Yes.”

Her replies to his questions were quite fearless.

“My glasses that you hid.”

Even though you’re shaking that much.

Matthias headed to the window with the glasses still in his hand. It was the same window that he had thrown her hat over.

“N… No!”

Leyla, who was blankly watching, turned pale as she rushed after him.

“Give it back! Please!”

The lace shawl that had covered Leyla’s shoulder fell to the floor. Leyla hurriedly raised her arms to cover the deeply-cut, v-neck pajamas.

“Isn’t it kind of hilarious that you’re making a big deal over your nightwear when you’ve already thoroughly seen my whole body?”

Matthias now scoffed at Leyla. Her blush had reddened down to the nape of her neck.

“….. That. That was inevitable!”

The frightened Leyla shook her head.

“It’s not what I wanted, so I had no choi….”

“Did you think I wanted it?”

“What? Oh….. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”

Leyla hastily picked up the shawl and covered her shoulders and her chest. Her half knocked-out expression was fairly amusing that Matthias softly chuckled.

“Why are you acting like a lady all of a sudden? You said you weren’t a lady.”

“….. Whatever I am, the duke is still a gentleman.”

Her refusal of losing to his words was provocative but still respectful. Matthias chuckled once again.

“Well.”

When his chuckling stopped, Matthias’s voice dropped a little more lower.

“I don’t know, Leyla. Maybe I’m not a gentleman.”

“Oh…No!”

Leyla urgently shouted as she firmly tied the end of her shawl.

“The duke is a gentleman!”

“Really?”

“Yes! You’re the best gentleman in the Berg Empire!”

“Your appraisal is quite generous.”

“That’s what everyone who knows you would think.”

“Aren’t your thoughts different?”

“…… No.”

Yes! 

Although she wanted to agree, she held back her true thoughts by vigorously shaking her head.

“No way.”

Leyla decided to sell her soul for her glasses tonight.

“So, your grace, please give it back.”

She was so upset that tears were about to fall but Leyla begged again.

“It’s very important and precious to me.”

She bowed her head and suffered the humiliation.

Leyla felt like she could kick all the stones in the forest to release her pent-up rage but Leyla knew how much of a disadvantage she was currently in.

If he put his mind to it, the duke could’ve driven her into a thief. He could’ve thrown her glasses into the river beyond the window. All those actions that were simple to him were fatal to Leyla.

So she had to endure.

Matthias approached the determined Leyla. As he threw the glasses up and down again, the gap between the two narrowed. They were now at a distance where they were close enough to feel each other’s body temperature.

Leyla glanced up in surprise. Matthias’s eyes that looked down upon her were deep and tranquil. It was like the bottomless river. The huge, cold river that had engulfed her on that hot afternoon where all this misfortune began.

Leyla was immersed in her thoughts when all of a sudden, her vision, which had been blurry, suddenly became clear. Leyla slowly realized that Matthias had put on her glasses for her. His hands that covered her cheeks, were soft and hot like the sun-heated sand.

His face was distinctively clear, yet everything else surrounding him was cloudy.

The flustered Leyla tried to avoid his eyes but Matthias drew her attention by applying a little force to his hands.

Why…..

She wanted to ask, but a strange and fearful sensation overwhelmed Leyla. It was then, when Matthias’s fingers started caressing her lips.

His relaxed fingertips stopped in between the crevice of her lip. His frustrated sigh tickled Leyla’s forehead. His breath was also soft and hot, like the touch of his fingers.

While directly staring into Leyla’s eyes, Matthias fondled the wet, soft skin that was inside her lower lip. His fingertip deeply moved in and out of her mouth, that the end of his fingernail almost brushed her lower teeth. Leyla, who had long forgotten to run away, innocently endured his gaze and his touch.1

Matthias slowly closed his eyes by the time Leyla was about to cry over his incomprehensible, strange act. The hands that had grasped her cheeks gently gained strength but then was let loose.

Leyla staggered back when his hands finally released her face. She was now able to properly breathe after being tense at his grip.

Leyla’s body gingerly trembled as she gasped for breath. In the meantime, Matthias had opened his blue eyes. It was the crystalline blue eyes that had shamed and frightened Leyla.

Duke Herhardt, who had been staring at Leyla for a long time, quietly ordered.

“Go on.”

Leyla couldn’t remember what had happened after she left the annex.

She said goodbye, turned around, and walked away. But all that memory was vague. Leyla realized she was already standing at the end of the forest road when she heard the cries of the grass bugs, felt the cool wind, and saw her own shadow walking under the moonlight.

Leyla headed for the cabin, still dazed. She didn’t vent her anger on the stones and the tree branches, nor did she run away. She just walked. Her slower-than-usual pace was as weightless as a ghost.

Leyla drew water from the pump that was located in the corner of the yard and washed her lips. She unconsciously rubbed and rubbed her lips until it was swollen and crimson red. Although she felt like her skin was about to peel off, the water had still failed to wash away her strange feelings.

Leyla’s face, her shawl, and the front of her nightwear were soaked with cold water by the time she quietly returned to her room. Without even thinking of drying them, Leyla sat at the edge of her bed.

She didn’t know what had happened, but Leyla was sure for one thing.

She didn’t want to run into him ever again.

~~~~

The canary that was quietly sitting in its cage flew towards Matthias at the snap of his fingers.

Matthias stretched out his hand towards the bird while he languidly leaned against the window frame. The canary naturally sat on his finger. Its clipped wings had grown long enough for it to fly a little farther. It needed to have its wings cut again, but he didn’t feel the need to cut it as short as before.

Matthias looked down the window while listening to the canary singing. The gardener, Bill Remmer, was in the middle of his job. Leyla Lewellin, who had been helping him from time to time, was nowhere in sight for several days. She was gone the day after the night she went to find her glasses. Leyla desperately started to avoid him.

Matthias wore a scarlet red hunting jacket after returning the canary to its cage.

He desired her.1

Matthias now clearly knew what this emotion was.

That woman, Leyla. He desired her.

There was no reason to deny that fact anymore. Leyla Lewellin grew up to be a beautiful woman. Beautiful enough to provoke a man. But Matthias knew. This kind of desire was bound to disappear shortly after.

Do I need to leave a stain in my life just to satisfy that desire?

That night, with Leyla in front of him, Matthias thought and thought again. And he concluded.

No.

Leyla Lewellin wasn’t worth the trouble and his desire for the woman was within his control.

Then why.

He released Leyla that night. But if she had acted like this after he had set her free, then he had no choice.5

“I’ve prepared your hunting session, master.”

Hessen quietly approached. Nodding his head, Matthias took the gun Hessen had handed him and left the bedroom.

~~~~

“Did something happen?”

Kyle worriedly asked Leyla. Leyla, who was gluing the pedals of a well-dried flower into her notebook, calmly looked up and faced him.

“No.”

Leyla’s unhesitant voice was bright was usual.

“Do I look that way?”

Leyla lowered her voice and whispered as she wrinkled her eyes. Kyle somehow felt a burning sensation around his neck when he saw her expression.

“You’ve been stuck in the cabin these days. It’s strange.”

Kyle calmly shrugged.

Leyla blankly blinked a few times and soon regained her bright face. Her lips left a faint smile as her eyes brilliantly twinkled.

“Now that you’ve found your glasses, you should travel around more. But it seems like you’re doing the opposite now.”

Kyle stared at Leyla as he rested his chin on his hand. She blandly smiled and started to meticulously write down the places and the features of the flower petals she found in her notebook.

Leyla usually drew and pasted unfamiliar flower petals to her notebook and took it to the library to search for their names. Kyle always came along with her to see the smile Leyla would make when she found out the names of the flower petals. Leyla was a child who wanted to know the names of all the birds and flowers in the world. Kyle loved that geeky side of her.4

Leyla carefully covered the notebook after lightly pressing it with a piece of blotting paper to prevent the ink from smudging. The returned glasses glimmered on her small face.

“Wanna take a walk? To that tree you like, the one that stands in front the river.”

“No.”

Leyla briefly replied as soon as Kyle had finished his sentence.

“Didn’t you always go there? Why? Did you see something scary in the woods again?”

“It’s not like that. And I can’t go into the forest today anyways.”

“Why? Ah, is today the duke’s hunting day?”

Leyla nodded after pushing the note to the end of the table. Not long after, there was a sound of horseshoes coming from a distance.

“Wow. That’s awesome.”

Kyle quickly ran in front of the window and admired. Duke Herhardt and his group of men were about to enter the forest through a path beside the cabin. The hound dogs were leading the way, followed by five young men on horseback.

Leyla glanced out of the window along with Kyle. The duke was riding a glossy horse with dark brown fur today. His red jacket and sparkling shotgun caught her eye.

“But of course, Leyla. I don’t hunt. I won’t hunt for the rest of my life.”4

Kyle suddenly changed his expression after admiring the duke. At that moment, Duke Herhadt had turned his head towards the hut. Even though Leyla was already hiding behind the curtains, she was startled and backed away from the window.

For the past ten days, Leyla tried her best to evade him. She didn’t go near the river and she didn’t even take a stroll into the forest. She felt apologetic towards Uncle Bill because he had recently gone out to manage the garden all alone. She only helped when the duke was out of the estate and when he returned, she briskly left the garden.

She was planning to endure her inconvenient actions until the end of this summer. When autumn came, Matthias was going to get engaged and leave for the capital city. Then, Arvis was going to be at peace again.

“Do you not feel well? Do you want to come over to my house?”

Kyle anxiously asked while looking at Leyla’s pale complexion.

“No, Kyle. I’m fine.”

Leyla shook her head and sat back on her seat that faced the dinner table.

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“It’ll be over by evening anyways.”

The moment she carelessly opened her book, shots rang out. It was followed by the barking of the hounds and the running of the horses.

With her fist clenched, Leyla turned the pages of her book that she couldn’t read properly.

She thought she had no choice but to go to the woods this evening. There were many poor birds to bury.