Daily Life Of Dragon King In Another World

He couldn't sleep.

[Sigh…]

Ryuga was not willing to start the day yet although he couldn't sleep. He stared listlessly on the ceiling of his room. He missed hearing his brothers deep breathes and their warmth next to him. He used to sleep with them long time ago though eventually each of them got their own room once they got older and stop since then.

After a while Ryuga realized he needed to go to the bathroom so he rose up, groaning a little. He has no way to avoid it because he needed to leave his bed eventually. He went to the bathroom and when he was done there, he unknowingly found his way to the rooftop instead of his room. He didn't know why but he has no interest in knowing it.

Ryuga sat and wrapped his arms around his knees, hugging it. He sometimes felt pity because his house was located quite far than other local places. Instead of seeing the street filled with the lamps to light up the surrounding, or people that walked on the street once in a while, he was greeted with a large empty yard as if their 'habitat' was deeply isolated from them.

Pity. What a pity.

He remained silent on the rooftop, doing nothing. He didn't know why but he had a feeling he was beginning to lose something inside him. He…started to feel empty. Empty in other word nothing. Most of his past memory was gradually starting to blur and he didn't know how many times he lost track of time. Such a feeling began to come often ever since he was used to his monotony of his not-so-leisure

life.

Still, Ryuga assumed that it was rather incorrect knowing he lived different way every time he was reincarnated. Before he 'fainted', unknowingly, a memory he repressed not long ago vaguely started to enter his mind. Flame surrounded him, charred clothing, charred building, the strewn corpses, the unchanging smile and 'her' voice.

*****

[How many times you've done this before?]

She sadly smiled, gripping hard the black piece of metal in her left hand while her right hand gently stroked his scaly cheek.

He was still in a daze, still saying nothing, too tired to answer her so he chose to stay silent instead, in the way he wanted to. In the next moment he knew, he was aware of the vile stench emanating from a lifeless pile of bodies that were strewn on the ground, flesh coated in red wine reminding him of what he has done.

They were horribly stained with his remnants of 'arts.' Various hole and hints of torn from the flesh of their bodies including their ugly organs were scattered everywhere like a pile of trash. He could see some of them slowly becoming ashes and flew as the wind blew them.

He slowly faced her. He could resist any types of fire that surrounded him which quite unfortunate, excluding her. It was only her flame which he couldn't resist and because of that, her flame was able to stop him. She was his natural enemy. At least, that's what he thought so. He's pretty sure she would be disgusted with the current him and decided to just give her a thin smile.

He retracted back his scorching red scaly, almost demonic wings on his back into his body and changed his view to his scaly hands. Maybe he should say those were his claws instead. He morphed it back to his human hands. It was burnt beyond redemption. He didn't know whether he could use it anymore.

He could still hear their screams echoing in his mind. In the past, he never cared about them. That was until he learned how to be a creature known as human, to feel the ridiculous emotion such as happiness, sadness and so on. Their hatred look towards him was still clear as day and it has terrorized his mind to the point he'll found himself in the future frequently jolt awake, gasping in breath unable to decipher whether it was real or not. In a fit of silence, he quietly inhaled and exhaled.

[I didn't ask for your help.]

The sad smile was still plastered on her face. She wiped the blood near his mouth. She knew that blood was not his but she didn't care. Slowly, she opened her mouth and softly said.

[I know you didn't.]

[Leave me alone.]

He pushed her hand away from him and left her. But he knew she was following him from behind. He didn't want her pity. He didn't want her care either. He didn't like seeing her eyes filled with warmth for someone who was as 'cruel' like him.

Please…Just leave me alone.

[You know I won't]

She knew the fact that this will be his nightmare that'll scare the living hell out of him, downright terrified to the point where he might become numb of it. But she also knew he won't tell her. That's just the type of person he was.

The last thing he would do was to risk anyone knowing he was weak, knowing his mind was weak.

[Where are you going?]

[None of your business]

Silence.

[You are not okay.]

[I'm always okay.]

Silence again.

She simply gave him an absolutely incredulous stare where he just decided to ignore her.

[Get some rest]

She stated firmly, her voice clearly showed her concern, more of a command to be in fact.

[I will…later]

He couldn't come up with any retaliation. He knew she wouldn't accept 'no' as an answer.

*****

Ryouma wasn't sure how long he slept but he knew he suddenly woke up after dreaming something that made him felt worse. He saw his youngest brother got caught in a fire and he couldn't help. He didn't want to admit that he suddenly felt as if he was suffocated as the lump constricted his throat. He couldn't call him. He had no reason to feel so bad though, knowing it was just a dream.

Ryouma left his room and went to the kitchen, drinking a glass of water to calm him down and yet, he felt strangely unsettled.

[What a nightmare…Sigh]

Walking upstairs, he suddenly heard movement of the door creaking. He realized that the sound coming from his youngest brother's room. The door was opened and when he peeked inside, he barely saw anyone in it. In panic, he quickly switched on the light.

His youngest brother was not there.

*****

Sometimes, he just didn't want to live anymore.

He was just too tired.

This was one of those times.

Calm…calm down. Just calm down.

Dang, it! This… damn… cycle… of… wanting… to… die! He was becoming crazier as he clutched his aching head, sharply inhaled and exhaled quickly, repeatedly. He could actually end this damn cycle if only he died...if only he could die that is.

But a part of him whispered that he shouldn't because he didn't know whether he will be born again or not. Furthermore, he didn't want his family to worry about him, to be sad about him.

A part of him was telling him that he should try doing it as he did once…maybe more than once in the past.

Ryuga always thought that his existence was a mistake. Living more than once was one thing but becoming someone...or something else every time he reincarnated was another thing. He didn't know where he did wrong though.

He suddenly broke out of trance because he suddenly felt that he wanted to die. This goddamn cycle of reincarnation was making him feel the need to die.

Just f.u.c.k.i.n.g do it!

I couldn't do it.

What are you waiting for?!

I can't…

What's the point of living?

There's no point.

There is.

No.

Yes.

And thus, Ryuga fought an inner battle, his originally purple eyes unconsciously turned golden, looking wild and strange, he trembled and each breath he took sounded like a gasp for life. That was until he heard his brother's voice where he began to freeze. His golden eyes gradually dimmed until they returned back to the original one. Ryouma didn't see it.

[Ryuga? What are you doing up here at this kind of time?]

Ryouma exclaimed, looking over his youngest brother on the roof. He should have known that Ryuga always stayed on the roof. It was his favorite place after all. He was fortunate to search for his younger brother at the attic first. He cautiously stepped out, slowly walked towards him and sat beside him.

[N-Nii-san? Why are you here?]

[I got a nightmare so I can't sleep anymore.]

[O-Oh]

Ryuga didn't say anything after that. He decided to hug his knees, staying silent. Ryouma 'accidentally' saw a small tear on his youngest brother's face. After racking his brain, he suddenly pulled his younger brother closer into a proper hug, ruffling his already messy hair on the way.

[R-Ryouma-niisan?]

[Shh...It's okay. Everything is okay.]

Ryuga couldn't help but stiffen. He clutched his brother's blue pajama tighter, trying to stay sane. He still couldn't avoid the conflicting thoughts in his head.

[I'm just tired, Nii-san.]

He blurted out.

[Oh…What makes my little Ryucchan say that?]

Ryouma mischievously grinned.

Ryuga's cheeks turned 50 shade of pink. He was embarrassed because his elder brother rarely called him with that nickname.

[I want to die but I don't want to die]

He muttered.

[Hmm?]

[Nothing]

Ryuga coldly said, silently g.r.o.a.n.e.d in frustration.

[Let's go take a nap, lil bro?]

[Yeah]

*****

Ryuga awoke in his brother's arm, beneath the blanket in his brother's room. He didn't remember when had he fallen asleep but he remembered Ryouma sang a lullaby for him. It's warm. He raised his head and looked over his brother.

[Thank you…nii-san]

He muttered. He was actually not the type to thank others, at least not letting them know that he actually thanks them.

[Mmhhh…..Rrryuuga?...]

Ryouma slurred sleepily, he barely opened his eyes and his hand ruffled through his brother's hair.

[Y-Yeah?]

[Rrrr…youuu….alllrrightt?]

[…i'm….o-okay]

[Rrrr…youuu…ssurrrre?]

Ryuga…actually has long gone forgotten the definition of 'alright'. But he decided to continue his sleep after he saw his brother fall asleep yet once again. It happened after Ryouma met with no response from him who decided to just pulled his brother closer to him.