Dandelion Lover

"Oh God, what was I supposed to do?" I muttered while rinsing my hands in the restaurant's bathroom. Once again I had let myself be influenced by the others and somehow, at the insistence of Rob and Ann, we were having a double date in a high-end restaurant.

I was tired and felt uncomfortable with being pushed to do this because it was definitely not my kind of place. I just wanted to go home and lay in bed, maybe watch some movies or read a good book.

"I hate my inability to say no," I muttered to myself and exited the bathroom just to return to the table where only Ann remained seated.

"Where is everyone?" I asked in surprise.

"We need to change the whole theme of one of the websites we're working on, so they had to go back to the office," she replied looking disappointed at how the evening ended.

"Don't they need us there?" I asked, worried at the sudden change and still happy that I was spared from socializing more than needed.

"Nah, we only have to keep working on our tasks." I could see she was disappointed at how things had gone down, but I couldn't help feeling at ease with how things ended up.

"I guess we should go home, then." And soon we were both on the sideway, heading to the closest bus station.

"Look, here is where Rob lives..." Ann brightly said, while pointing at a balcony on the first floor in what seemed like a new block of flats. "We could have come here after dinner." And her sulky voice rose in protest again.

I was a bit curious about Rob, he wasn't a bad person, but I didn't want to burden my life with love and other such complications. It would probably end before it properly started, or he would cheat on me once we got together and he became bored. I was not really the most interesting person in the world. Every time he touched me it felt nice, I enjoyed the looks he gave me from time to time and the way he showered me with attention, but was that all it meant to be in love?

I could never decide how to explain the feeling of love, maybe because I never felt it like it was described in the novels I had read as a young girl. I could explain l.u.s.t, attraction, wanting to feel protected and appreciated, but love was without a clear definition in my mind. Was it something I might never get to experience or was I just not able to recognize it as it was, a fantasy spoken by pure romantics and young girls with sparkling eyes?

The rest of the week passed in a rush as everyone was busy with redesigning the website before the deadline. I, however, was not involved in the project so my job basically consisted in making coffee for the office and helping where I could.

Even Vivian was running here and there with a hurried pace which was made even more obvious by the sound her heels made as they hit the wood on the office floor each time she walked into the office.

Ann was also helping them, as she had been the original copywriter for the project, and from time to time she would wink at me and give me a smile to help me feel better.

Among her encouragements and the way Rob always found a way to pat my shoulder, or gently grab my waist, I was feeling more and more useless rather than happy about it. I just wished I could have done more to help them.

Rob was a good man and with his encouragement and display of affection here and there I decided to give him a chance, so now we were the new couple at the office. I'm sure that if the deadline hadn't been just around the corner, I would have felt overwhelmed by all that was happening, but luckily everyone was busy with their own tasks and the big change in our relationship was left as a simple recognition of our status.

The deadline was finally closing up on us and just as I was wondering how close they were at finishing the project after countless hours spent overtime at work, Gray stepped out from his office, with his suit hanging loosely off his shoulder and a day old stubble and brusquely said:

"We're done, I'll finish up here so you guys go get some rest." And before I knew it he was back inside and a tired cheer came from the people around me. They all silently gathered their bags and each went their own way after a short goodbye.

There were still a few hours to the end of the work day and I felt bad that I hadn't been able to do much while everyone else had been working overtime, so I decided to stay until the end and maybe I could find something to help Gray with.

Noticing the state he had been in before, I realized he probably really needed some more coffee in his system so I made a big cup of coffee and added some milk and sugar to give him energy. As I carefully walked towards his office with the coffee mug in my hand, I almost spilled it all over me when his office door swung open.

Gray was standing in the door with a look of surprise on his face while staring me down.

"You didn't go home yet?" he asked, eyeing the coffee mug and confidently taking it out of my hands.

"It's not time to leave yet, and I wanted to see if there's anything I could do to help..." I managed to say while my eyes were captivated by his lips tasting the coffee with an expression that seemed so at ease that I couldn't believe this was the same person from before.

I wasn't one to take note of what people around me were doing but when I saw his face relax and his shoulders drop, I felt like I had finally done something right.

"Thanks for the coffee, it was just what I needed." he finally said and then motioned me to follow him.

I quietly followed him outside and he took a seat on the steps leading to the office building, rummaged through his pocket and took out a pack of smokes. Noticing I was still standing he motioned me to sit down, and so I did.

It was a weird atmosphere, to say the least; we just sat there in silence while he was enjoying his cigarette, relaxing after a busy day. I was so obvious in staring at him, curious at what he was thinking, that I snapped back to reality after he started rotating his cigarette between his fingers and turned towards me.

"How do you like it here?" he asked and as soon as he did I could feel a hotness rising on my face realizing that I had been caught staring at him like the moron that I was.

"Umm, it's nice. I always have people helping me and they never scold me for making mistakes..." I started and soon regretted my words as his brows creased and he stopped playing with his cigarette.

"Yeah, I bet, especially Rob..." he said barely audible, but enough for me to make out his meaning. My face suddenly became even hotter and I stared at the ground, not knowing what to say. Rob hadn't exactly been shy with his advances and I wasn't even stopping him since it had now become his right. I enjoyed the attention too much, as bad as that sounded.

"Is there anything that isn't clear to you at this point?" he asked, interrupting my flow of thoughts and making me raise my head and look at him.

His unshaved face made him look demanding and a bit savage, which only made my eyes widen in appreciation; his dark hair was tussled and sticking to his neck due to the heat and his lips seemed to taunt the cigarette as he put it to his mouth and inhaled deeply before forcing out the thick smoke.

I was mesmerized by the man sitting beside me, to such an extent that I forgot how to breathe properly. A violent cough shook my body, almost making me bend over to stop my shaking when I felt a warm and rough hand gently pat my back.

"Are you okay?" he asked in a worried tone, but I couldn't answer. I got up as fast as I could and rushed into the office to get my bag. I reached inside and took out my inhaler and used a puff to stabilize my breathing. Before I could figure out what was going on, Gray was at the door watching me with an annoyed expression on his face.

"Why didn't you tell me you have asthma? Shit!" I remained dumbstruck unsure of what had made him flare up like this. It was the first time I had even heard him swear; what had I done wrong now?

"Damn it, don't stay near smoking people when you're sick!" he shouted, making me flinch and putting out his cigarette in an ashtray close by, which he then took to the kitchen. "Just go home for today," he added furiously and shut himself back up in his office.

I grabbed my bag and got out the door as fast as I could. It was scary to see him flip out like that, and I wasn't even sure why. The long-awaited weekend was finally here, but my only thought was how I regretted saying our goodbyes like that.