Dandelion Lover

"What's wrong with me?" I asked myself while staring at the mirror in the bathroom. I came home to find the house empty as usual but this time I was grateful that I could keep to myself and not have anyone breathing down my neck.

I am amazed at the lack of control I had when facing Kate. When I had looked at her concentrating and moving slightly on the chair whenever there was something that puzzled her, it had taken me over the edge over and over again.

I had felt my eyes tracing her light childish features and her scent made me want to taste and see if she was just as sweet as her fragrance, and to my surprise, she had been much more than I could ever imagine. The way she blushed when I approached, her skin heating under my touch, her eyes wide in surprise with a hint of l.u.s.t in them, she just drove me insane.

Her soft lips were warm and welcoming and her hair's scent was of lemons and lilac with a hint of vanilla, I could get lost in the numerous sensations that passed my mind as we kissed.

I wanted to hold her tightly and never let anyone else see my treasure, she affected me so much that I was becoming a stupid teenager that just needed a light touch to turn his world upside down and fire him up.

Every time I thought of her, my body became hotter and it was screaming for me to just go, find her and keep her close to me so I can feel her heat over and over again. Her breath, her taste, her smell, everything about her drove me mad with l.u.s.t, just thinking about earlier, I felt like going on a rampage, I had to control myself and keep my attraction towards her in check.

"This is really dangerous," I concluded and a wave of rage stirred, making me clench my hands into fists while my nails were digging deep into my own skin. I wanted to punch myself when I remembered her panicked face when she left the office, and now it will be a whole weekend where I will have to be away from her, unable to explain myself or ask for forgiveness.

But was I really sorry about what happened? It all felt so right even if it was wrong...

"She's dating Rob and I am married," This was not a proper thing to do anyway you looked at it, but I didn't care about anything as long as I would be able to have her all to myself, tasting her again and just keeping her a prisoner in my arms. I never felt these many contradictory sensations and I loved it, it made me feel alive, even if my guilt was eating away at my thoughts, I couldn't deny the attraction we had then.

That evening I hardly slept as my thoughts were constantly invaded by the sweet memory of her lips, the way she moved, her taste and her fragrance were tormenting me slowly.

It was almost morning when I heard the entrance door open and close and a pair of heels resounded in the silent house. I knew it was Melanie and I wanted to ask her where she has been all night long but my memory of the day before stopped me in my tracks.

Was I entitled to demand answers when I couldn't forget the sweet taste clouding my judgment?

I took a deep breath and threw a pair of pants on me before entering the kitchen. Mell was by the coffee machine with a tired look, her eyes fixed on the laptop on the bar while preparing a cup of coffee.

"Good morning!" I said trying to hide a yawn. Melanie raised her head to acknowledge my presence and asked while pointing towards the espresso machine:

"Want some?"

"Yeah sure," I took a seat at the bar looking out the window while Mell made another cup for me. Our neighbors seemed to be asleep as it was still early in the morning. I was tormented by feelings of guilt towards my partner of over 10 years but I couldn't show it, it would only hurt both of us.

"So, how's work?" I asked trying to dissipate the awkward feeling of guilt that was rising up in me.

"Fine, there are some investors that I have to entertain before they sign but it's nothing I can't handle." I was surprised at the response I got from her after weeks of avoiding my questions.

"I'm sure you can." I grinned as she placed the cup of coffee in front of me.

"Can you pass me the cream?" I asked without thinking much and in response, I got an inquiring stare from Melanie.

"Since when do you take cream with your coffee?" I froze, I didn't even notice when my sense of taste changed, I only knew that I now liked to drink coffee with a bit of milk and a teaspoon of sugar.

"I just feel like it today." I quickly replied feeling the need to defend myself because the question sent a shiver of guilt in the pit of my stomach.

"We don't have any milk." Mell simply stated as she closed the fridge door and placed the sugar bowl in front of me.

"Thanks." I just realized how unfair I had been.

I was having wild d.e.s.i.r.es for one of my employees while my wife was always working and taking care of the house and me. I always had cooked food in the fridge even if it was a simple chicken salad, but I never had to order in. And I had the nerve to suspect her of hiding things from me, I was a real prick, to say the least.

I couldn't cheat on my partner just because I was attracted to Kate. Melanie has been by my side for years and I knew she cared for me as much as I cared for her. I just needed to use a little more willpower and get over my l.u.s.t for Kate, it wasn't fair for either of them, me being undecided and they deserved better.

My mind has power over my actions and I know that if I don't make a decision I will end up hurting both of them, and that would be even worse. I just had to remember my wedding vows and forget about the myriad of feelings Kate woke up inside of me.

Just thinking of the confused Kate when she ran out of the office made my heart ache from the guilt, but I needed to be a respectable man and do the right thing. It might be hurting us now for a while but it will soon pass, I was sure it was just a momentary weakness for both of us.

"Everything will be okay!" I chanted to myself as an encouragement and a reminder to curb my d.e.s.i.r.es and put a stop to this attraction before it got out of control.