Dandelion Lover

"Did you really want to...?" He asked, his eyes searching for the truth in my own.

I could have lied, I should have said yes, but I didn't want to. I had to admit to myself, that the way I felt towards Gray was something I never felt for another man. It could be called an animalistic attraction to everything he is or some may call it love, but I was unable to, even to this day, put a name to it. But I knew it existed, and the pull it had over me was something I refuse to deny, as immoral as it may seem.

"No, I wanted to as well. The way I feel towards you is something that is real and no one can tell me otherwise." I finally responded and looked over at Gray.

He was wearing casual clothes and despite how well he looked in a costume, the outfit he wore now made him seem younger than usual and gave a feeling of vitality. I could see his eyes moving over my body, his hands gripping the cup he held, while his forefinger moved in a circular motion around its rim. This simple move of his made my stomach clench and a knot formed, making me feel restless.

"What exactly is it that you feel?" His low timbre made me shudder. Our gaze met and entangled, he was waiting for my answer and he will look me in the eyes as I say it.

"I cannot give it a simple name, some might call it attraction, others would call it love, for me, it is just as it is. It is right, it is what it should be, it is what it is. The feeling is indescribable, I might not know enough words to describe it, but one thing I do know, and that is that no matter how wrong people say it is, it will always feel right for me."

I managed to say, forcing myself to keep a clear mind and not lose my sanity in the depths of his gaze. He was looking at me dead on, no hesitation, no shyness, no guilt. It was only him and me at that moment.

I should have been nervous about what he would reply to my confession if you could call it that, but I only felt calm and comfortable in his presence. His eyes never leaving me, I saw all his muscles tense and a deep frown appeared.

"That's a better explanation of your feelings that I would have dared to dream about. Are you not curious about what I feel?"

"I know you are also attracted to me at least, no one can pretend that well," I replied while my lips curved upwards.

"Indeed..." His frown disappeared and he moved along the counter over to my side. His hand reached out to touch my face, his fingers were tantalizing hot, as they slid over my lips, lightly touching them, all the way to the towel wrapped around my hair. With a gentle tug, he untied the makeshift knot and the tower dropped on the floor, letting my still humid hair down making me jump up as I felt the cold humid locks on my shoulders. He wrapped his fingers in it while drops of water ran along the strands at the slightest squeeze. His eyes followed his own hands and my own were fixed on his expression.

"And yet here you are making a big deal of a picture while I can barely contain myself from wanting to touch you, to confine you in a room so you belong only to me, more like a madman than a sane a.d.u.l.t." He whispered coming closer to me.

I felt like I should have pulled away, but I could not.

"Today I was actually coming to see you regarding last night, but when I saw you going out I unknowingly followed, nothing less than I stalker if I may say so myself. " He chuckled at the realization. "I was afraid you were unwilling last time, and it was all because of the drugs. I wanted to make sure."

"Are you sure now?" I had to ask. One of my hands was on the hot teacup while the other searched for warmth from his own fingers. Did he understand what I tried to convey?

"Yes, now I'm sure." He replied and pulling my head towards him, our lips met and melted together in an all-encompassing kiss. The hotness of his breath mingled with mine, I abandoned the cup and reached for his shirt in order to steady myself. I was feeling lightheaded for all the good reasons. The faint kiss grew stronger with each breath, soon there was no more space in-between our bodies, our faces flushed and we were both out of breath. This intense feeling was not something that could be replicated with anyone else. It belonged to us, it was what defined us at that moment.

Reluctantly letting go, I lowered my eyes to try and escape the charms of the man before me.

"Nevertheless, this must not go on." I was scared to look at his reaction, but by the way, his hand which was laying on my shoulder before now grabbed it firmly, I could tell he was unwilling, or at least troubled about what I was saying.

"And here I thought we felt the same." His tone was harsher, dragging me out from my flushed state, his attitude was blowing freezingly cold air with every word. "I hope you're messing with me right now... I'll just let you know, I'm in too deep to enjoy any kind of jocking on this matter." His hand tightened over my shoulder. "I can't play hot and cold right now, not with you."

I turned to face him at his words. I knew I had hurt him.

"I don't want to play either, God knows I tried long enough to stay away from the enticements you offer simply by being near. Although I believe this is right, the feeling I have, I know others would not accept such a conclusion. They are not us. I do not want such a shadow to hang over our interactions with other people."

"So what do you mean then?" His voice was warmer but a tinge of annoyance could be heard.

"I want to resign. I will leave the company."

"What will that solve? You just want to run away."

"I am not running away. I am giving you and us time. I want to see if these feelings will last or are only an illusion fueled by something else, be it a need for companionship, or a physical attraction. I also want to give you the chance to run away if you feel this is not what you believed it to be, or you want to work it out with your wife. I definitely do not want to be the reason for a breakup, not to mention a divorce." The last part almost made me want to throw up. How hypocritical could I be? I would hate it if he went back to his wife, but I also don't want to be the mistress who destroys a happy family.

"Just give me a year, to test this, to make sure that what we feel is real and not just a momentary lapse of judgement, for both you and me" I continued with my ramblings.

"I understand" his reply somewhat came out of nowhere, interrupting my train of thought.

"I agree with some things that you said. We need to cool off, make sure this is what we really want. But you have to look me in the eye and tell me you would not feel betrayed if I went back to Melanie if I changed my mind suddenly and realized I didn't want you anymore." He turned my face towards him, studying my expression to validate his thoughts. A sight escaped his lips. His warm breath reached me and I felt it c.a.r.e.s.s the rebellious strands of hair that were framing my face.

"I do not change my mind so easily, so you can stop crying."

I was surprised, I didn't even realize my eyes had become filled with unshed tears.

"I'm not crying..." I grumbled annoying that I was caught with the lie and at the same time pleased that he knew me so well despite the short time we had together.

"I agree for the period of half a year, no more." He added and I was left flabbergasted. "Unless you want me to go right now and tell your grandmother how much I want to just have you move in with me despite my ambiguous relationship situation…. I would recommend you say you agree."

I quickly nodded afraid he would change his mind and just lock me away, as fun as that would have been, I had to be strong.

"It's settled then, now one for the road!" and as he said that he captured my lips for what seemed to be an eternity, one that I would gladly get lost in. Sealing the deal we just made.

"Regarding the message, don't worry I won't let people point fingers," he reassured with a firm tone.

"I know." I smiled and let him run his hair through my now mostly dried hair. Ah, how I will miss this feeling of belonging...

Starting tomorrow, it will all change to the way it was before, or at least until the 6 months are up...