Dark Lord Dumbledore

Harry knew there was a toilet just before they reached the History of Magic class. It had been his destination all along as he had no d.e.s.i.r.e to waste his time listening to a monotone ghost while Dumbledore was about to leave the school grounds.

"You guys go on ahead, I just need to use the toilet quickly," Harry informed his minions.

Receiving a nod from them, he gave them a smile to further put them at ease and entered the boy's section of the toilet block.

"Boppy." He called silently.

With a 'pop', the best head-elf a wizard could ask for appeared in front of him. After a click of his fingers, Boppy now looked like a tall eleven-year-old, with piercing green eyes and short, neat black hair. The boy had an aristocratic air, and his features were on par with male models.

Boppy was the spitting image of what Harry looked like, right down to his clothing and bearing. Boppy was well versed in filling in for his Master, as he had perfected the role of a body double over the years.

Thanks to the overpowered nature of magic, Harry had fixed the undesirable traits and rather plain features of Harry Potter as soon as he had perfected his cosmetic magic. Now he was a perfect example of a pretty boy, albeit as manly as a child could look.

The messy Potter hair had been easy to fix when you actually knew how to use magic. There were all sorts of magic potions and hair growing spells on the market in the wizarding world, but the Potter males couldn't work out how to comb their messy hair?

After Harry was finished admiring Boppy's transformation, he handed over his bookbag.

"You, know what to do Boppy. After class, separate yourself from everyone and swap out with me from the Room of Requirement."

"Yes, Master! The men are in place and waiting for you."

"Good stuff, Boppy. Please pop me over."

Seconds later, Harry arrived in a room on the third floor, just down the hall from where the gargoyle concealed the staircase to the Headmasters office. Surrounding him were ten menacing figures in black hooded robes wearing Death Eater masks.

Ignoring them, Harry pulled out the Marauder's Map to check Dumbledore's position in the castle. The old git was pacing around his office before going over to the side of the room and disappearing. He was hoping that Phoenix travel was reserved for emergencies.

Since the map did not accurately show the interior of a room, Harry could only assume that the Dark Lord had either entered a secret chamber or used the Floo Network to head to the Ministry. Banking on the latter, Harry finally addressed the ten evil-looking figures in the room.

"Ok men, Dumbledore seems to have left. But just in case, be ready to pop out at the first sign he is still there and don't forget to take me with you! Just like we planned, go in and freeze the paintings, then collect the ashes of the bird when I kill it. Let's move!" Harry ordered his loyal house-elves disguised as Death Eaters.

Dumbledore was going to be very confused when he returned the portraits back to normal and questioned them about what happened! After wearing a mask just in case Dumbledore had some method to see through illusions in his office, Harry made himself look like Voldemort. He was even using Voldemort's wand.

Even though he might find out the perpetrators actual size, hopefully, his alibi of being in History of Magic will make the Dark Lord suspect Voldemort had possessed another child instead of him. Or confuse him completely wondering why a blood supremacist Volde-child would raid his office with a bunch of house-elves.

Either way, he led his men down the hall to the gargoyle and started to go through all the known passwords involving candy.

Acid Pops

Fizzing Whizbee

Sherbet lemon

Toffee Eclairs

C.o.c.kroach Cl.u.s.ters

Iced Mice

Finally, he struck paydirt, and the gargoyle stepped aside to let them enter the circular stairwell. A quick check of his magical map informed Harry that Dumbledore had yet to return to his office and he gave the go-ahead to his men.

Following them up the stairs, he was surprised when he found the oaken double doors at the top open without force! Did Dumbledore place all of his trust in the gargoyle to protect his office? Not even a locking charm to prevent students from intruding?

This thought on Dumbledore's arrogance was quickly disregarded as voices from the portraits called out in alarm and then anger. They could do more than shout about intruders they were hit with spells that froze them in their frames.

Harry had made sure his elves were waving sticks around so as not to make Dumbledore go 'DEFCON 1' with reports of powerful Death Eaters using wandless magic.

It was bad enough just pissing him off by taking his firebird and robbing him, let alone him activating all his trump cards in preparation against Voldemort training powerful lackeys capable of wandless magic!

Let's face it, Dumbledore thought so little of Death Eaters that he was comfortable enough with letting the majority roam free after the war. You can bet your last dollar, that if he actually thought they were a threat, he would have had all their souls s.u.c.k.e.d out quicker than a THOT asking for financial support!

Since the elves had to keep up the illusion of being wizards, they were unable to just teleport around and take out all the paintings before they could make a noise. This had the unfortunate side effect of waking up the lazy bird Fawkes from his slumber, where he rested on his perch.

Luckily, Dumbledore liked to show off and had the bird's perch positioned so you could see its glory as soon as you entered his office. While it was quite the power move to have his mythical familiar on display for all visitors to see, it also made it easy to aim at.

Before Fawkes could do more than look around and squark in confusion, Harry had already mentally summoned all the hate he had for Dumbledore limiting his life and was ready to unleash it in a spell.

"Avada Kedavra!" Harry shouted in the voice of Tom Riddle.

The jet of green light flew from the end of Voldemort's bone wand and struck the bird before it could even think about flaming away. Fawkes let out a cry of distress before bursting into flames and turning into a pile of dust.

Seconds later, the twenty-three portraits of past Headmasters had been neutralised, and one of the elves disguised as a Death Eater ran over to the dust pile formerly known as Fawkes.

He pulled out a miniature cage from a pouch on his belt, before cl.i.c.k.i.n.g his fingers at it to enlarge it big enough to house an angry full-grown Phoenix. The loyal minion that was renowned for cleaning then scooped the ashes into it and locked the cage door before it could reform and flame away.

The elves were thoroughly briefed on what to do in this raid and quickly went about scanning for any magical recording spells or traps. Getting the all-clear a few minutes later, the house-elf holding the hopefully inescapable cage popped away.

He reappeared moments later without the cage but accompanied by scores of eager little looters equipped with magically expanded trunks. It was then a flurry of activity as house-elves started teleporting everywhere and stealing anything not nailed down.

Dumbledore's office was emptying at an unbelievable rate as Harry's magical servants did what they had been trained for since he recruited them. Looting enemy bases for everything of value and cleaning up any trace that they were there.

A couple of minutes later, all that was left in the Headmaster's office was the portraits stuck to the walls. Harry had thought about taking them also but wanted them to tell Dumbledore what happened. Having a clear enemy would hopefully point him away from himself and keep him free from Dumbledore's machinations for a while.

Then again, it also had the potential to speed up Dumbledore's designs for him and make the old coot act brashly! Either way, Harry had a few contingency plans ready, and thanks to his earlier work with the Minister, an easy way to turn people against the Leader of the Light should he need to.

The industrious house-elves had stopped briefly after sweeping clean the most ostentatious room in Hogwarts and then made a beeline for the doorway leading to what could only be the personal bedroom reserved for Headmasters.

From the way the Dark Lord liked to dress, having all his flashy robes stolen may be more hurtful to him than anything else taken! There was, however, one piece of flashy material that Harry had his elves keep an eye out for specifically.

There was no guarantee that Dumbledore would hand over the Invisible Cloak that was a Potter heirloom after how Harry had changed the plot. Hell, he was not even sure if he would get the original Deathly Hallow to start with or just a standard cloak of invisibility.

It was already an indication of just how truly evil Albus-too-many-names was when he 'gifted' Harry his own Cloak back to him for Christmas. One that he even admitted he took from James Potter while he was being hunted by Voldemort!

The balls on Dumbledore to do all this and then blatantly admit it revealed the man's arrogance. Harry was hoping that this confidence in his superiority would also make the old bastard hold off any direct assault.

If it didn't, well, then the law was on Harry's side and he had an army of bloodthirsty ninjas to protect him! Honestly, this was the most fun Harry had in years and part of the reason he didn't just off Dumbledore in an ambush.

While he waited, Harry didn't forget to mark the roof of the office with a variation of the Morsmordre spell just for added effect. Not even ten minutes had passed from the time the gargoyle had stepped aside until Dippy appeared before him and confirmed the completion of the mission.

"Master, everything has been taken, and we secured both the talking Hat and the Shiny Cloak!" The leader of this incursion said while kneeling before him.

"Good work, Dippy! You made sure to keep them in separate secret dumpsites in case the old fool can find them?"

"Of course, Master! Every elf made their own hidden place for their loot, and the Hat and Cloak got their own place. We even heavily trapped them in case the Evil wizard finds them!" The little minion proudly replied.

"Good. Good. Ok, have someone pop me over to the Room of Hidden Things and continue as planned."

When Harry suddenly found himself in the Room of Requirement, he couldn't help but laugh. Dumbledore was going to be mad!