Dark Lord Dumbledore

A couple nights later, when even those out patrolling the halls of Hogwarts were asleep, Peeves the Poltergeist was on a mission. He had been offered ten Dungbombs if he would chase M.o.a.ning Myrtle out of her toilet until morning.

It was a strange request for a first-year Ravenclaw to make, but the mischief he could do with ten Dungbombs was well worth the effort of following along with whatever the boy had planned for the girl's bathroom. Peeves decided he would have to keep an eye on Terry Boot, and possibly blackmail the boy for more fun toys to play with.

What both Peeves and Terry didn't know was that they were both used to gain uninterrupted access to the Chamber of Secrets. A few compulsions and Terry suddenly had the great idea to harass the crying ghost because she was so annoying. The kid was a bit of a d*ck, and Chad didn't need much effort to turn him into a willing patsy.

How Voldemort got away with always opening the path down to Slytherin's lair with the voyeur of a ghost watching on, had made Chad curse the bastard for his plot armour.

Was it because he was in a girl's body, was that why Myrtle didn't care about the opening a secret door and an explanation for her death? She had been on Harry Potter straight away, like some kind of s.e.x.u.a.l predator.

After one of his Hogwarts elves reported the amusing scene of Peeves in action fl.i.c.k.i.n.g boogers at the crying girl as she fled in fear from her toilet, Chad gave the go-ahead for the operation to start.

An elf teleported in two of the muggle captives to the entrance of the Chamber of Secrets, one wearing a helmet, and the other, one of the victims from the testing phase.

Both were under the Imperious Curse, courtesy of Voldemort's wand and memories, so there was no chance of them running in fear at the sight of a twenty-metre long serpent.

It would also help in testing if you needed actual vision of the snake's eyes to be killed or not since one man was completely blind and the other was seeing through magical means. Harry Potter had been just fine by closing his eyes after all, while Colin Creevey had been petrified by looking through a camera.

Watching from the comfort of his room, Chad pushed the button on his remote viewing device to activate the speaker on the muggle explorer's helmet.

"§ Open! §", Chad commanded in Parseltongue, hoping he wouldn't need to be there in person for it to work.

Luckily, it seemed to be enough to activate whatever mechanism started the transformation of the sink into revealing the hidden passageway. Without hesitation, the two unwilling participants in this exploratory mission jumped down the exposed hole. Magic making them obey without question.

Unlike in canon, the two men did not land without injury like their wizard counterparts. The man equipped with the helmet sprained his wrist, while the blind guy broke his leg. Jumping blind down a hole with a six-metre drop would do that to you, no matter how spongy the ground was.

The pain the two magically enslaved muggles felt was not enough to break the hold Chad had on their mind through the Imperious Curse though, and the two injured men soldiered on down the now revealed passageway.

The noise of bone grinding on bone with each step the blind man took was slightly nauseating, the helmets s.e.n.s.i.t.i.v.e microphone capable of picking it up the most trivial of sound. But since Chad fully expected the man to die, there was no point worrying over it.

Entering another door that needed a Parselmouth to open it, the pair of test muggles soon came to an old, large piece of shed Basilisk skin while they travelled through the corridor.

Seeing this on his screen, Chad made the two men stop. Turning to his elves standing nearby waiting for orders, he asked if they were now capable of teleporting directly into the Chamber. Before they were unable to find it even after being told where the entryway was.

After zoning out for a few seconds, the elf replied with, "Yes, Master. I can now sense the passageway under the toilet."

"What if the I closed the entrance, would you still be able to apparate there?" Chad inquired, no point in leaving a huge, noticeable opening into the sewers if there was no need to.

The elf gave him a look that showed confusion, so Chad could only sigh and order the little guy to teleport the helmeted muggle back to the toilet.

"§ Close! §"

When the entryway was fully closed, Chad asked over the speaker if the elf could still apparate back to where he retrieved the man from in the now-closed off passageway.

"Yes, Master." The elf replied with confidence.

'Well, that is convenient. Maybe it is similar to being invited by a secret keeper of the Fidelius Charm, once a house-elf entered the Chamber of Secrets, they remembered where it was.' Chad thought to himself.

Either way, he would not have to risk exposure by opening the ridiculously flashy entrance in the girl's toilet ever again. Whoever was involved with that idea was an idiot, Salazar Slytherin was long dead before modern plumbing was invented so it could not have been him.

Since Chad now had access to elf travel to the before unplottable Chamber, he stopped messing around and transferred all of his test muggles into the passageway where the shed snakeskin was. Even the dead one.

Although Chad could only control five muggles at a time with the Imperious Curse, he didn't need them all to act as he ordered. Their only job was to confuse the Basilisk with the number of choices for its meal.

Fourteen of the twenty men were wearing helmets and also sported large flowing capes with pendants hanging from their necks as they were placed standing into the Chamber. Besides those under his control, the rest were immobilised when the elves deposited them in the cavern.

The five men that were injured or killed from the testing process of the helmets were to be a peace offering to the Basilisk, the last was a baseline test for the killing gaze. It must have been starving if it had to survive on nothing but rats down here in the sewers, especially after Riddle woke it up from its magical slumber.

They were at the end of a long, dimly lit chamber. Towering stone pillars entwined with serpents rose to a ceiling lost in darkness, which must have involved some magic f*ckery seeing as the distance down the entrance pipe had only been six metres.

There was an odd, greenish gloom that filled the place, making it easy to see the surroundings of the Chamber. Even the statue of Slytherin, high as the Chamber itself loomed into view, standing against the back wall.

According to the book, the statue's mouth would open, and the Basilisk would emerge from it when called. Since the massive serpent was not already in the Chamber, it filled Chad with confidence in his back-up plan if the snake turned violent.

With no Basilisk there to disturb his plans, Chad had the elves place the men around the statue's feet, leaving enough room for the Basilisk to make its entry.

With the men in place and wearing their new magical accessories, still unable to move thanks to elf magic, Chad said the passphrase Tom Riddle used in the book.

"§ Speak to me, Slytherin, greatest of the Hogwarts Four! §"

Slytherin's gigantic statue's stone face was moving, and something was stirring inside its mouth, slithering up from whatever depths lay hidden behind the opening. Watching through his magical TV screen, Chad was thankful he was not there in person.

What emerged was a poison green coloured monster, easily capable of swallowing down a full-grown man whole. The King of Serpents landed on the floor of the Chamber of Secrets with a meaty thud, coiling itself up ready to strike if needed.

"§ Who dares summon me? §" The serpent hissed, clearly unafraid of the nineteen men and the corpse arrayed before it.

The beast's presence, even when seen through the TV screen, was awe-inspiring. It took Chad a second or two to gather himself enough to address the Basilisk's question.

"§ Greetings, oh mighty Basilisk. I bring you an offering in the hope of establishing a friendship with Slytherin's most favoured familiar. §" Came Chad's hissing reply through the speaker on the first guy's helmet.

He didn't want to antagonise the giant snake by having his voice sound out from fifteen helmets at once. The giant yellow eyes of death locked onto the man with the sprained wrist, the source of Chad's voice.

It seems the Basilisk must have some control over its Dōjutsu, seeing as the man adjacent to the mouthpiece was stunned with his eyes opened and he still continued to breathe. If the baseline test guy was still alive, then it explained how Voldemort was able to interact with the beast.

"§ You are a Speaker? I do not detect any magic from you other than your clothing, let alone the mark of Slytherin's blood. How is it that a group of muggles dare to appear before me in Salazar's sanctum? §"

No matter how overpowered Chad became, he was still squishy and could be killed easily if attacked directly. This was why he was not standing in front of a twenty-metre long killing machine trying to make friends with it.

Frankly, canon Harry Potter was dumb as a bag of rocks for even thinking he would stand a chance against such a beast, especially when he could barely cast the first year spells effectively.

The fact that he relied on Ronald Weasley and Gilderoy Lockhart, both whom he knew were incompetent and one forced at wand point, bespoke how utterly retarded the boy actually was.

The Grim Reaper must have been on holidays when Harry Potter entered the Chamber of Secrets, it was the only explanation for why the idiot child was not killed in under five seconds.