Detesting The System: Sundering Fate

Ring! Ring!! Ring!!! The buzzing of my alarm clock threatened to split my head as I scrambled to turn the f.u.c.k.i.n.g thing off. With murder on my mind and a slight reproach at my past self for thinking proactively and picking an alarm that was sure to knock out any dregs of sleep every morning, I woke up with eyes bloodshot; inputting the code to turn the damn clock off.

'F.u.c.k.i.n.g Mondays...' Though my negativity was quickly improving as this was after all an everyday occurrence, I still had grumpy thoughts as I stood up to get my morning routine out of the way. Making my bed, washing up in the bathroom, dressing up to leave my dorm room…. It was all in a day's work for a broke college student like me, and after picking up my already prepped backpack, I left as I always did; at approximately 5:30 AM. It sucks major d.i.c.k that things have to be this way. But, I won't be able to afford my lunch if I didn't get up to work to serve others breakfast.

Though… if I'm honest, things don't have to be this way… Growing up as part of an immigrant household, my parents came to the US not knowing a lick of English. My dad worked day and night to get his communicative skills up to par with the businesses already existing and worked his way up from a lowly construction worker all the way up to a Board-Certified Electrical Engineer Contractor. After I grew old enough to not need the constant attention of my mother, she learned some of the easier tasks my father's profession required and found a full-time career in helping him finish projects. My point is… we're not exactly a poor family. Granted, I don't see my father rake in millions every year, but he could easily pay out my tuition, residence, and food bills with not a shred of worry over the financial cost.

Don't get me wrong, he isn't a horrible person or anything like that. It's not like he didn't offer to pay all the aforementioned troubles now plaguing my life. Just… I chose a career path he wouldn't accept and he gave me an ultimatum. Even now, as I walk to the Starbucks local to the university to get things prepared for the day, I don't feel a hint of resentment towards my father. I know exactly how hard he's worked, coming up from nothing to building up a better life for his family in what is arguably the best country in the world... I too would feel some type of way if my kid spat in the face of my hard work and chose to study a degree as worthless as Asian Studies...

But! That's where my passion lies… I'm already a pretty bland and rather uncaring guy if I do say so myself, and while I also like playing games or watching Youtube videos I don't see myself a career out of either of those hobbies. Through Asian Studies, not only can I interact with the cultures that interest me, but I can also make a name for myself in the underground culture of Asian s.

I've already seen a bit of success in that line of work with some of my projects acc.u.mulating hundreds of thousands, even millions, of views. But as a newbie, I don't dare ask for money yet… Partly because of my extremely thin skin — that being the shell of an excuse my borderline sociopathy concocted to avoid trouble whenever possible — partly because I haven't built up a great enough reputation, and lastly because I don't want to corrupt this true passion of mine by obsessing over money. It's not hard to guess that I've bet it all in this line of work.

Yeah… I could be living it up at a presidential suite in a nearby apartment or hotel, merrily sleeping, or perhaps indulging in the p.l.e.a.s.u.r.es college life brings. But, because I turned down my father's request of studying a traditionally good degree and become a respectable member of society — a doctor, scientist, lawyer, etc... — and instead, I'm objectively wasting my time with a degree that will hardly net me any good amount of money, I'm living this way.

…

It was a rather normal day for me this morning. A faint rain cascaded down the paved route I took from my dorm to the library, where the Starbucks was located. Too busy trying to make the journey seem shorter than it actually is by listening to my music, I failed to notice what would mere moments later, end my existence.

Amidst the regular rain, there came down a gold drop of mercurial liquid. I only know this as the case, as the last vestige of my memory from this life was the sight of that sinister drop phasing into my body and the result thereafter. It's rather hard to describe exactly what I saw, as I still can't understand what happened. From where the golden tear of rain touched my body up until it's shape faded deep into my c.h.e.s.t, nothing out of the ordinary happened aside from the overwhelming fear that shot down my spine. But, after the last glitter of gold escaped my line of sight… it was like my body started to disintegrate…

I didn't feel pain even though I could see the entire process unfold. With the decay starting by the closest point to where the golden drop landed — on my c.h.e.s.t — thereafter slowly creeping to the outer extremities of my limbs, I saw my body literally flake off into ash and that ash fade away as if it never existed to begin with.

That dooming sensation I last recalled as the disintegration reached my head and I started to lose my sense of smell, my sight, my hearing… No longer being able to feel my arms, my legs, my fingers, and toes; to call it nightmarish would understate the experience a hundred fold and then some.