Diary Of A Wimpy Kid: Original Book!

(Wednesday)

only one comic slot, and up until now this kid named

Bryan Little has been hogging it all to himself. Bryan has this comic called "Wacky Dawg," and

when it started off, it was actually pretty funny.

But lately, Bryan's been using his strip to handle

his personal business. I guess that's why they

gave him the axe.

As soon as I heard the news, I knew I had to

try out. "Wacky Dawg" made Bryan Little a

celebrity at our school, and I wanted to get in

on some of that kind of fame.

I had a taste of what it's like to be famous at

my school when I won an honorable mention in this

the antismoking contest they had.

All I did was trace a picture from one of

Rodrick's heavy metal magazines, but luckily, no

one ever found out.

The kid who won first place is named Chris

Carney. And what kind of ticks me off is that

Chris smokes at least a pack of cigarettes a day.

(Thursday)

Me and Rowley decided to team up and do a

cartoon together. So after school today he came

over to my house, and we got to work.

We banged out a bunch of characters real

quick, but that turned out to be the easy

part. When we tried to think up some jokes,

we kind of hit a wall.

I finally came up with a good solution.

I made up a cartoon where the punch line of

every strip is "Zoo-Wee Mama! "

That way we wouldn't get bogged down with having

to write actual jokes, and we could concentrate on

the pictures.

For the first couple of strips, I did the writing

and drew the characters, and Rowley drew the

boxes around the pictures.

Rowley started complaining that he didn't have

enough to do, so I let him write a few of the strips.

But to be honest with you, there was a pretty

obvious drop in quality once Rowley started doing

the writing.

Eventually I got kind of sick of the "Zoo-Wee

Mama" idea and I pretty much let Rowley take

over the whole operation.

And believe it or not, Rowley's drawing skills

are worse than his writing skills.

I told Rowley maybe we should come up with

some new ideas, but he just wanted to keep

writing "Zoo-Wee Mamas." Then he packed up

his comics and went home, which was fine by me.

I don't really want to be partnered up with a

kid who doesn't draw noses, anyway.

(Friday)

After Rowley left yesterday, I really got to work

on some comics. I came up with this character called

Creighton the Cretin, and I got on a roll. I must've banged out twenty strips, and I

didn't even break a sweat.

The great thing about these"Creighton the Cretin"

comics is that with all the idiots running around my

school, I will never run out of new material.

When I got to school today, I took my comics

to Mr. Ira's office. He's the teacher who runs

the school newspaper.

But when I went to turn my strips in, I saw

that there was a pile of comics from other kids

who were trying out for the job.

Most of them were pretty bad, so I wasn't too

worried about the competition.

One of the comics was called "Dumb Teachers,"

and it was written by this kid named Bill Tritt.

Bill is always in detention, so I guess he has a

bone to pick with just about every teacher in the

school, including Mr. Ira.

So I'm not too worried about the chances of

Bill's comic getting in, either.

There were actually one or two decent comics in

the bin. But I slipped them under a pile of

paperwork on Mr. Ira's desk.

Hopefully, those ones won't turn up until I'm

in high school.

Thursday

Today, during morning announcements, I got

the news I was hoping for.

The paper came out today at lunchtime, and

everyone was reading it.

I really wanted to pick up a copy to see my

name in print, but I decided to just play it cool

for a while instead.

I sat at the end of the lunch table so there

would be plenty of room for me to start signing

autographs for my new fans. But nobody was coming

over to tell me how great my comic was, and I

started to get the feeling something was wrong.

I grabbed a paper and went into the bathroom

to check it out. And when I saw my comic, I

practically had a heart attack.

Mr. Ira told me he had made some "minor

edits" to my comic. I thought he just meant he

he fixed spelling mistakes and stuff like that, but

he totally butchered it.

The comic he ruined was one of my favorite ones,

too. In the original, Creighton the Cretin is taking

a math test, and he accidentally eats it. And then

the teacher yells at him for being such a moron.

By the time Mr. Ira was done with it, you

practically couldn't recognize it as the same strip.

So I'm pretty sure I won't be signing autographs

anytime soon.

*March*

(Wednesday)

Me and Rowley were enjoying our hot chocolate

in the cafeteria with the rest of the Patrols

today, and there was an announcement on the

loudspeaker.

Rowley went down to Mr. Winsky's office, and

when Rowley came back fifteen minutes later, he

looked pretty shaken up.

Apparently, Mr. Winsky got a call from a parent

who said they witnessed Rowley "terrorizing"

the kindergartners when he was supposed to be

walking them home from school. And Mr. Winsky

was really mad about it.

Rowley said Mr. Winsky yelled at him for about

ten minutes and said his actions "disrespected

the badge."

You know, I think I might just know what this

is all about. Last week, Rowley had to take a

quiz during the fourth period, so I walked the

kindergartners home on my own.

It had rained that morning, and there were a

lot of worms on the sidewalk. So I decided to

have some fun with the kids.

But some neighborhood lady saw what I was

doing, and she yelled at me from her front porch.

It was Mrs. Irvine, who is friends with Rowley's

mom. She must have thought I was Rowley because I was borrowing his coat. And I wasn't

about to correct her, either.

I forgot about the whole incident until today.

Anyway, Mr. Winsky told Rowley he's going to

have to apologize to the kindergartners tomorrow

morning, and that he's suspended from Patrols

for a week.

I knew I should probably just tell Mr. Winsky it

was me who chased the kids with the worms. But

I wasn't ready to set the record straight just

yet. I knew if I confessed, I'd lose my hot

chocolate privileges. And that right there was

enough to make me keep quiet for the time being.

At dinner tonight, Mom could tell something

was bothering me, so she came up to my room

afterward to talk.

I told her I was in a tough situation, and I

didn't know what to do.

I got to give Mom credit for how she handled

it. She didn't try to pry and get all the details.

All she said was that I should try to do the

"right thing," because it's our choices that make

us who we are.

I figure that's pretty decent advice. But I'm still

not 100% sure what I'm going to do tomorrow.