Everything Was a Mistake

Duroa exhaled, unsure if it was out of relief.

Was it because it was raining so much, the situation was too complicated or was it because Nocton Edgar was standing in front of her?

Her head soon started throbbing in pain.

It was a bad headache, it felt like it was pounding against her forehead.

“Before I say thank you for saving me, let me ask one thing. Was this your fault?”

“Yeah, I thought you’d be suspicious of me if I came here. You seem to think that all the bad things in the world happen because of me.”

“So you, who didn’t even attend the contest, happened to appear when I was in danger.”

“The people outside of the forest know that the beast appeared. There’s already a mess out there. The timing was just right.”

Nocton might think it’s unfair, but the straight-forward answer aroused suspicion.

“I want to ask you, Valrose. What do you think would be the benefit of releasing the beast on the hunting ground during the contest?”

“It wouldn’t be the first time you’ve done something you’re unaware of.”

Nocton has done more things that Duroa couldn’t understand than the ones she could.

“Giving me holy water when I was sick, brainwashing Sheryl Bornaine, spying on Alice and trying to kill Aaron were all done for your own gain, right?”

Duroa wanted to ask whether or not he actually brainwashed her as well between those many questions, but she stopped because she didn’t want to bother more than that.

Even if she asked, she wouldn’t get a proper answer.

That was what she found out in their last few quarrels.

But what she was currently doing was no different from interrogating him either.

Nocton twisted his lips because of whatever he was thinking.

Was it unpleasant or was it pleasant? It was difficult for Duroa to figure out his emotions.

“It’s not that strange. It’s a bit excessive to bring holy water to a friend, but it can be done in hopes of better health.”

“It’s strange to drink a glass of holy water in front of that friend to confirm it’s not poisonous. A black magic magician would be poisoned just by touching holy water, right?”

“You were suspicious of me anyway so I just removed any doubts in advance. I wanted to simply do a test on Sheryl Bornaine, and the same goes for trying to take advantage of each other. It was smart.”

Nocton interrupted himself for a moment to catch his breath, and then continued his speech.

“Spying… Well, among powerful families, there are a few families that don’t care about the behaviour of others. Even Alroy Valrose, whom you love so much, and your parents have eyes everywhere.”

“Nocton Edgar.”

“I didn’t mean to insult you, but it’s true that you don’t know a lot since you grew up like a flower in the aristocratic society. What’s left, Aaron Claymore? …Yeah, I was angry and willing to kill him.”

All this negativity tarnished his reputation, clearly.

But that wasn’t the case before today.

Nocton spoke bluntly and Duroa wasn’t surprised at all.

Even saying that Nocton tried to kill someone, it seemed natural for Duroa.

Maybe he didn’t kill anyone.

But Alice told her otherwise.

“But I didn’t kill anyone, Valrose.”

“Your doctor didn’t stop you.”

“I drank the holy water that weakened my physical condition in front of my doctor. What’s the difference?”

“What terrible logic.”

“It doesn’t matter if you laugh at my logic, but I didn’t just pursue things that benefit me.”

With the blink of an eye, Nocton took a step closer to Duroa.

It was only a step, but the light that shined faintly on his back was completely swallowed up by the shadow of the cave.

In the midst of the darkness, his pale purple eyes glimmered strangely.

Nocton wasn’t frowning, he strangely seemed excited.

“You’ve been friends with Alice Limorand since childhood, haven’t you? Why did you befriend that woman? Why did you hide it from me? Aaron Claymore decided to break off the engagement, but why did you want to postpone it? Why did you get engaged to him in the first place?”

“…How do you know about breaking off the engagement?”

“If you decided to break off your engagement within a year, it’s clear that you don’t have deep feelings for him. He’s a man who only has that kind of emotions…”

Without even thinking of answering Duroa’s question, Nocton continued.

“I didn’t kill him, I almost killed him, so why are you so angry? Why are you so scared? I didn’t mean to harm you, so why are you trying to abandon me?”

“Abandoning? What?”

Duroa stopped even if she wanted to protest against something so absurd because Nocton’s expression looked strange.

She took a step back in fear, but Nocton followed her.

The cave wasn’t deep in the first place, so there were not many places to retreat to.

Nocton’s step was wider than hers, so their faces were closer than before.

“The Valrose family thought the same. Even Alice Limorand, who’s been building up a lot of time, has been forced to understand that.”

Nocton’s eyes glistened. Duroa couldn’t understand him, but she felt overwhelmed by the moment and swallowed down the growing lump in her throat.

“But not Aaron Claymore. He’s not true to you, he doesn’t love you and if you break up, sooner or later you’ll be a stranger to him. But what is he doing? Why do you value him so much?”

“Why are you suddenly talking about that? It doesn’t have anything to do with what we were talking about.”

“That’s right, that’s what I want to say. It doesn’t matter at all. What did I do?”

As if determined to follow Duroa, Nocton watched her closely.

She took a step backwards for some space but she tripped on a stone sticking out from the bottom of the cave.

Duroa almost fell, but she was able to grab onto the wall of the cave before she did so.

However, the relief lasted for a few seconds.

Nocton grabbed her hand from against the wall, lifting her up and bringing her closer.

Now, the distance between their faces was closer than before.

“I didn’t do anything.”

As if in a whisper, a small voice rang in the dark, breaking the silence of the cave.

It was a sound that made her skin crawl more than the beast’s cry.

Nocton slowly pulled Duroa up and spoke again.

Goosebumps rose as his cold breath touched her skin.

“I didn’t do anything, Valrose.”

Valrose.

Duroa was taken aback by that name.

It was then that she realised she was nervous.

The sound of the heavy rain became more clear, as if Duroa had suddenly pulled her head out of the water.

The sound of the rain hitting the leaves on the ground, the sound of the leaves hitting each other, the sound of the person in front of her breathing.

A strange smell, the smell of rain and the smell of wet soil.

Light colored eyes right in front of her.

“You didn’t do anything to Valrose.”

Duroa looked at Nocton without averting her eyes and muttered as if talking to herself.

Even though the sound of the rain was strong, Nocton heard her words clearly because of how close they were.

Nocton’s eyebrows tilted slightly.

But even looking at him, Duroa didn’t pay much attention to the change in his expressions anymore.

The rest of his emotions, to say the least, were just boring.

“How many times have I raised my voice at you already?”

As the senses once blurred by the tension became clearer, even the headache was more obvious.

The throbbing pain intensified and Duroa leaned her head back for a moment, pressing her face against the wall of the cave.

It felt good, the cold air rushing through her cheeks.

What Duroa thought was a headache felt more like a fever.

Let’s just talk and go back.

“I tried to move on, but it seems difficult.”

“What… do you mean?”

“Are you obsessed with me, Nocton?”

Duroa pushed her body off from against the wall with the hand that Nocton wasn’t holding on to. The distance between their faces was restored as he let go of her arm naturally.

“At this point, I understand that you didn’t do anything for a while just to get a reaction.”

“I told you, you are special.”

“And I said that I can’t believe it.”

“…Wait, you seem to have a fever.”

After he spoke, Nocton extended his hand towards her.

Duroa felt annoyed at his hand trying to touch her forehead, so she slapped it off.

Nocton’s eyes trembled faintly.

He tried to back away, but she grabbed a hold of his collar and pushed him away instead.

The headache was severe. Duroa’s mind was clouded, her body was cold, tired and exhausted.

I want to stop pouring out my emotions while raising my voice like this.

After all that has been said, there isn’t much left on my mind.

Why do we keep talking about our regrets in this empty place?

It was now clear to her that no matter what she said to Nocton, Duroa couldn’t draw any hopeful conclusions.

Still, she wanted to ask him again.

Did you do this, too?

Even if Nocton answered Duroa, she wouldn’t believe it anyway.

Duroa suspected it was his fault, but she wanted to hear that Nocton didn’t do it anyway.

I’m sick of it, saying it’s hard now is like I brought it upon myself.

In the end, it was obvious that she also had regrets.

A feeling that was hard to shake even when it came to this kind of situation.

So, she could never be free without talking about the perfect ending, without finishing it properly.

Because of Nocton Edgar, because of the ‘maybe’, which tormented Duroa along with those damned regrets.

“Since you’re killing people, of course I’m going to catch a fever when talking about such things. Why are you doing this to me, Your Highness, Duke Edgar?”

(tl/n: this is like a korean idiom or word play. like how you get hot and it seems like you have a fever when you’re angry.)

“Stop playing around with those unnecessary titles, Valrose.”

“Yeah, Valrose. It’s always Valrose. Then if you’re calling me Valrose, I’ll call you Edgar.”

What am I talking about?

Perhaps it was because Duroa felt a bit hazy that her words didn’t come out as she wanted them to.

“No, I’m not doing this to seek some childish revenge, but I’m thinking about the past. You hated it when I called you Duke Edgar and yet you insist on calling me by my last name.”

Nocton opened his mouth to speak, but Duroa quickly covered his mouth with her hand.

It was because her head was still pounding from pain that she didn’t have the confidence to express herself while listening to the other person’s side of the story.

Duroa was no longer afraid of Nocton after what happened and it didn’t seem like a big deal in the current situation.

“Listen. You just need to listen.”

My mind is messed up.

She removed the hand that covered Nocton’s mouth and took a deep breath of cold air, exhaling soon after.

Just like how a deflated balloon shrinks, that was how the air left her lungs.

Then, she felt more confident.

“But, unfortunately, I found out the reason a few days ago. Nocton, Nocton?”

“…What?”

“Call me ‘Duroa’.”

Nocton’s eyes seemed to tremble.

No, I may have imagined it because my vision is blurred.

“This isn’t something I’m asking just to be friendly with you. It’s not like that anymore. I’ve read a book about it. It’s hard to find books on black magic, but I found something.”

“What?”

“Oh, is that so? It’s hard to find so you thought I’d never figure it out. Why didn’t you come up with a plausible reason for insisting on using the name ‘Valrose, Valrose’?”

“You. What did you say?”

“In mind controlling magic, titles are important.”

Duroa exhaled, unsure if it was out of relief.

Was it because it was raining so much, the situation was too complicated or was it because Nocton Edgar was standing in front of her?

Her head soon started throbbing in pain.

It was a bad headache, it felt like it was pounding against her forehead.

“Before I say thank you for saving me, let me ask one thing. Was this your fault?”

“Yeah, I thought you’d be suspicious of me if I came here. You seem to think that all the bad things in the world happen because of me.”

“So you, who didn’t even attend the contest, happened to appear when I was in danger.”

“The people outside of the forest know that the beast appeared. There’s already a mess out there. The timing was just right.”

Nocton might think it’s unfair, but the straight-forward answer aroused suspicion.

“I want to ask you, Valrose. What do you think would be the benefit of releasing the beast on the hunting ground during the contest?”

“It wouldn’t be the first time you’ve done something you’re unaware of.”

Nocton has done more things that Duroa couldn’t understand than the ones she could.

“Giving me holy water when I was sick, brainwashing Sheryl Bornaine, spying on Alice and trying to kill Aaron were all done for your own gain, right?”

Duroa wanted to ask whether or not he actually brainwashed her as well between those many questions, but she stopped because she didn’t want to bother more than that.

Even if she asked, she wouldn’t get a proper answer.

That was what she found out in their last few quarrels.

But what she was currently doing was no different from interrogating him either.

Nocton twisted his lips because of whatever he was thinking.

Was it unpleasant or was it pleasant? It was difficult for Duroa to figure out his emotions.

“It’s not that strange. It’s a bit excessive to bring holy water to a friend, but it can be done in hopes of better health.”

“It’s strange to drink a glass of holy water in front of that friend to confirm it’s not poisonous. A black magic magician would be poisoned just by touching holy water, right?”

“You were suspicious of me anyway so I just removed any doubts in advance. I wanted to simply do a test on Sheryl Bornaine, and the same goes for trying to take advantage of each other. It was smart.”

Nocton interrupted himself for a moment to catch his breath, and then continued his speech.

“Spying… Well, among powerful families, there are a few families that don’t care about the behaviour of others. Even Alroy Valrose, whom you love so much, and your parents have eyes everywhere.”

“Nocton Edgar.”

“I didn’t mean to insult you, but it’s true that you don’t know a lot since you grew up like a flower in the aristocratic society. What’s left, Aaron Claymore? …Yeah, I was angry and willing to kill him.”

All this negativity tarnished his reputation, clearly.

But that wasn’t the case before today.

Nocton spoke bluntly and Duroa wasn’t surprised at all.

Even saying that Nocton tried to kill someone, it seemed natural for Duroa.

Maybe he didn’t kill anyone.

But Alice told her otherwise.

“But I didn’t kill anyone, Valrose.”

“Your doctor didn’t stop you.”

“I drank the holy water that weakened my physical condition in front of my doctor. What’s the difference?”

“What terrible logic.”

“It doesn’t matter if you laugh at my logic, but I didn’t just pursue things that benefit me.”

With the blink of an eye, Nocton took a step closer to Duroa.

It was only a step, but the light that shined faintly on his back was completely swallowed up by the shadow of the cave.

In the midst of the darkness, his pale purple eyes glimmered strangely.

Nocton wasn’t frowning, he strangely seemed excited.

“You’ve been friends with Alice Limorand since childhood, haven’t you? Why did you befriend that woman? Why did you hide it from me? Aaron Claymore decided to break off the engagement, but why did you want to postpone it? Why did you get engaged to him in the first place?”

“…How do you know about breaking off the engagement?”

“If you decided to break off your engagement within a year, it’s clear that you don’t have deep feelings for him. He’s a man who only has that kind of emotions…”

Without even thinking of answering Duroa’s question, Nocton continued.

“I didn’t kill him, I almost killed him, so why are you so angry? Why are you so scared? I didn’t mean to harm you, so why are you trying to abandon me?”

“Abandoning? What?”

Duroa stopped even if she wanted to protest against something so absurd because Nocton’s expression looked strange.

She took a step back in fear, but Nocton followed her.

The cave wasn’t deep in the first place, so there were not many places to retreat to.

Nocton’s step was wider than hers, so their faces were closer than before.

“The Valrose family thought the same. Even Alice Limorand, who’s been building up a lot of time, has been forced to understand that.”

Nocton’s eyes glistened. Duroa couldn’t understand him, but she felt overwhelmed by the moment and swallowed down the growing lump in her throat.

“But not Aaron Claymore. He’s not true to you, he doesn’t love you and if you break up, sooner or later you’ll be a stranger to him. But what is he doing? Why do you value him so much?”

“Why are you suddenly talking about that? It doesn’t have anything to do with what we were talking about.”

“That’s right, that’s what I want to say. It doesn’t matter at all. What did I do?”

As if determined to follow Duroa, Nocton watched her closely.

She took a step backwards for some space but she tripped on a stone sticking out from the bottom of the cave.

Duroa almost fell, but she was able to grab onto the wall of the cave before she did so.

However, the relief lasted for a few seconds.

Nocton grabbed her hand from against the wall, lifting her up and bringing her closer.

Now, the distance between their faces was closer than before.

“I didn’t do anything.”

As if in a whisper, a small voice rang in the dark, breaking the silence of the cave.

It was a sound that made her skin crawl more than the beast’s cry.

Nocton slowly pulled Duroa up and spoke again.

Goosebumps rose as his cold breath touched her skin.

“I didn’t do anything, Valrose.”

Valrose.

Duroa was taken aback by that name.

It was then that she realised she was nervous.

The sound of the heavy rain became more clear, as if Duroa had suddenly pulled her head out of the water.

The sound of the rain hitting the leaves on the ground, the sound of the leaves hitting each other, the sound of the person in front of her breathing.

A strange smell, the smell of rain and the smell of wet soil.

Light colored eyes right in front of her.

“You didn’t do anything to Valrose.”

Duroa looked at Nocton without averting her eyes and muttered as if talking to herself.

Even though the sound of the rain was strong, Nocton heard her words clearly because of how close they were.

Nocton’s eyebrows tilted slightly.

But even looking at him, Duroa didn’t pay much attention to the change in his expressions anymore.

The rest of his emotions, to say the least, were just boring.

“How many times have I raised my voice at you already?”

As the senses once blurred by the tension became clearer, even the headache was more obvious.

The throbbing pain intensified and Duroa leaned her head back for a moment, pressing her face against the wall of the cave.

It felt good, the cold air rushing through her cheeks.

What Duroa thought was a headache felt more like a fever.

Let’s just talk and go back.

“I tried to move on, but it seems difficult.”

“What… do you mean?”

“Are you obsessed with me, Nocton?”

Duroa pushed her body off from against the wall with the hand that Nocton wasn’t holding on to. The distance between their faces was restored as he let go of her arm naturally.

“At this point, I understand that you didn’t do anything for a while just to get a reaction.”

“I told you, you are special.”

“And I said that I can’t believe it.”

“…Wait, you seem to have a fever.”

After he spoke, Nocton extended his hand towards her.

Duroa felt annoyed at his hand trying to touch her forehead, so she slapped it off.

Nocton’s eyes trembled faintly.

He tried to back away, but she grabbed a hold of his collar and pushed him away instead.

The headache was severe. Duroa’s mind was clouded, her body was cold, tired and exhausted.

I want to stop pouring out my emotions while raising my voice like this.

After all that has been said, there isn’t much left on my mind.

Why do we keep talking about our regrets in this empty place?

It was now clear to her that no matter what she said to Nocton, Duroa couldn’t draw any hopeful conclusions.

Still, she wanted to ask him again.

Did you do this, too?

Even if Nocton answered Duroa, she wouldn’t believe it anyway.

Duroa suspected it was his fault, but she wanted to hear that Nocton didn’t do it anyway.

I’m sick of it, saying it’s hard now is like I brought it upon myself.

In the end, it was obvious that she also had regrets.

A feeling that was hard to shake even when it came to this kind of situation.

So, she could never be free without talking about the perfect ending, without finishing it properly.

Because of Nocton Edgar, because of the ‘maybe’, which tormented Duroa along with those damned regrets.

“Since you’re killing people, of course I’m going to catch a fever when talking about such things. Why are you doing this to me, Your Highness, Duke Edgar?”

(tl/n: this is like a korean idiom or word play. like how you get hot and it seems like you have a fever when you’re angry.)

“Stop playing around with those unnecessary titles, Valrose.”

“Yeah, Valrose. It’s always Valrose. Then if you’re calling me Valrose, I’ll call you Edgar.”

What am I talking about?

Perhaps it was because Duroa felt a bit hazy that her words didn’t come out as she wanted them to.

“No, I’m not doing this to seek some childish revenge, but I’m thinking about the past. You hated it when I called you Duke Edgar and yet you insist on calling me by my last name.”

Nocton opened his mouth to speak, but Duroa quickly covered his mouth with her hand.

It was because her head was still pounding from pain that she didn’t have the confidence to express herself while listening to the other person’s side of the story.

Duroa was no longer afraid of Nocton after what happened and it didn’t seem like a big deal in the current situation.

“Listen. You just need to listen.”

My mind is messed up.

She removed the hand that covered Nocton’s mouth and took a deep breath of cold air, exhaling soon after.

Just like how a deflated balloon shrinks, that was how the air left her lungs.

Then, she felt more confident.

“But, unfortunately, I found out the reason a few days ago. Nocton, Nocton?”

“…What?”

“Call me ‘Duroa’.”

Nocton’s eyes seemed to tremble.

No, I may have imagined it because my vision is blurred.

“This isn’t something I’m asking just to be friendly with you. It’s not like that anymore. I’ve read a book about it. It’s hard to find books on black magic, but I found something.”

“What?”

“Oh, is that so? It’s hard to find so you thought I’d never figure it out. Why didn’t you come up with a plausible reason for insisting on using the name ‘Valrose, Valrose’?”

“You. What did you say?”

“In mind controlling magic, titles are important.”