Give Me Love

~ RECAP ~

"I DID NOT DO ANYTHING!" He shouted that made me shut my eyes then took a deep breath. Maybe, he still didn't change that attitude of him after all. *sigh* Well, he's still Ryosuke Yamada. The man that I married who has a random and unpredictable attitude.

~ CONTINUATION ~

YANA YAMADA's POV

"Fine! *sigh* If that's what you say." I said then stood up and started to walk. He's getting mad again and everytime this happens, I don't want to argue with him anymore. I'm afraid that this might end something that we might both regret in the future.

"Wait, Yana!" He called after me then stops me by grabbing my right hand.

"What?" I asked. I don't want to say anything as much as possible. I don't want us to end up like what was happened to us last time.

"Please believe me. I did leave my phone when I left the office. I am not the one who messaged you that time." He said more calmly as he turned me to face him and held my hands tightly while resting his forehead on mine. I saw him close his eyes tightly while holding both of my hands as tightly as he could as if I could be gone anytime he looses his hold on me. Ryosuke...

"It's fine, Ryosuke. I will believe in you even if it's confusing. You know why? It's because I love you." I said calmly. I saw him open his black brown eyes and looked at me intently. Those eyes that I love to look at... Those eyes that I can easily read when he is trying to hide something from me or when he had done something wrong that I could possibly be mad about...and those eyes that always reminds me everyday of how much he loves us. How could I even managed to hurt this man that I truly love the most?

"Then why did you leave me?" He asked again. I diverted my eyes to him. I can't continue looking at him. I-it hurts seeing him hurting like this.

"I was hurt." I said while still trying to divert my attention inside the office.

"What do you mean?" He said as his hands touched both of my cheeks and slowly turned me to look at him. I took a deep breath and calmed myself. Every time we were both as close as this, my heart beat is so fast. I can't help myself but to fall in love with him all over and over again.

"Tell me why. What did I do to make you leave me? Do you have any idea how much it hurts that before I go to work that time, you managed to cook food for me, even doing the things that you usually do every day... I thought everything was fine but when I've gone home from work, I was so shocked seeing that the house is so dark." He said while his hands are on my cheeks. What he just said hurted me...because I felt guilty...it was all true. The next day after we fought, I acted like nothing happened and when he left the house, I also started to pack our things up and left him.

"I thought something bad happened. I was about to report to the police when I checked our closet and found the area where your clothes are was empty then seeing the letter you left in my study table saying, 'I'll give you what you want. I'm staying at mom and dad's house for a moment. If you want to see Ren, you can visit anytime. Always take care.'." He said a little bit annoyed but still managed to speak calmly. I gulped. He removed his hands on my cheeks, distant himself a little bit then put his hands on his pocket and took a deep breath.

"Seriously? How can you manage to tell me that? I know that this is all my fault. If I didn't left my phone in the office then my secretary wouldn't have any chance to message you. I admit it but you told me that it's not your reason for leaving me so, I still don't understand why." He said while looking at the surroundings. I clenched my fist. He missed something.

"You told me that I'm inconsiderate, annoying and you need space that night when I asked you about you and your secretary, remember? That's why I gave you what you want. Space." I said while looking down at the floor. I felt him looked at me. I don't know because I am not looking at him right now. I suddenly bit my lips trying to stop myself from crying but...my tears already escaped my eyes. I felt him trying to raise my head up but I resisted. I don't want him to see me crying again. I don't want to.

"What? Please listen to me, Yana..." he said while still trying to raise my head up but I still resisted. It still hurts me remembering how he said those words to me. I-i don't and never expected that t-those words will ever come out to him. I was left off guard when he placed both of his hands again on my cheeks and raised it up. I heard him cursed himself as soon as he saw me crying.

"S****! Yana, I... *face palm* That's not what I mean. I did not... *sigh* It's just..." He said as if he can't find the right words to explain to me.

"You told me that I'm inconsiderate. When Ren had a fever, where were you? Did I nag you that time when you told me that you still have a meeting and you can't go home right away? When you didn't have any time to spend with us... bond with us, did I complain that time? When we were having our anniversary and you accidentally forgot about it, did I get mad at you? Am I really that annoying when I'm just asking you if you had already eaten your dinner every time you get home late? Did I really annoy you if I ask how was your day?" I asked while still crying. I did not intend to hurt his feelings because that is the last thing that I would ever do to him... I just want him to realize that, we are also here. He should always remember that I did everything for us. I did everything and anything to understand him. I want him to realize that my son needs him... That we need him also as much as the company needs him. Why is this happening to us? I covered my face with both of my hands and slide down to sit on the floor. I feel my body trembling. I feel so weak. I suddenly felt him fell on his knees and hugs me tightly.

"Yana... I-i'm sorry... I was not in myself that time. I-i'm so stressed with work and...I-i did not intend on saying those things to you. I-i'm sorry." He startled and that made me stop. I felt something on my shirt. Wait, is he crying?

"S-sorry, Yana... Sorry." He said while still hugging me tightly.

"Why do we have to be like this, Ryosuke? Doushite?" I asked while my tears continue to fall.

"I'm really sorry, Yana." He said as he cried. I took a deep sighed and distant myself to look at him. I can't b.a.r.e seeing the man I love crying like this.

"I did not leave you because I don't love you anymore, Ryosuke... I left you because I want you to realize something... I want you to realize that you had done something wrong." I explained in a more calm voice while wiping his tears using my fingers. I don't want him to think that I don't love him anymore...that I'm already tired of him because I'm not and will never get tired of him.

...TO BE CONTINUED...

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TIME CHECK-4:59 PM 7/15/2019