Give Me Love

RYOSUKE YAMADA's POV

I just came home from work. I walked towards the couch and sat down.

Okaeri nasai, Ryosuke! - Yana

I turned around to look for her but I saw nothing. Yeah, right. She already left me... She already left me and she will never come back anymore... I just sighed. I was expecting her to be here but unfortunately, she wasn't. I can't believe that this is happening to me. I hate this feeling... The feeling of being hurt and hopeless... What should I do? I know that it was my fault but... *sigh* Even though I want to apologize to her, I can't. I can't because I don't know how. Since we got married four years ago, she was always the one understanding me but I kept abusing her kindness. I got up and walked towards my working area to do my work. I don't want to remember her anymore. She already gave up on me; and it was her choice.

I was encoding some reports needed for tomorrow's meeting when I realized that my cup was already empty.

"Ya...na..." I said before I realized that she wasn't here anymore. *sigh* I'm hopeless. I stood up and brought my cup to refill it when I saw that the kettle was also empty. I just sighed. I forgot to boil some water a while ago. I switched on the stove and boiled some water. For the past four years, I wasn't doing these things by myself. I felt like I'm so useless now.

*bzzzt bzzzt bzzzt*

My attention was diverted when my phone suddenly vibrated. I turned off the stove first and went to my working table to get my phone.

"Hello?" I asked excitedly. I was hoping that it was her but...

[What's up, little brother? Want to hang out with us?] My Chihiro-nee chan asked. *smiled* Seriously? Hanging out after work is really tiring. I walked towards the couch again and sat down.

"What? I'm busy and I don't have time for that. I still have work to do." I said while leaning on the couch. This house became so different when she left.

[Oh come on, Ryosuke. Stop hiding and come out! How can you forget her if you still keep on reminding yourself all your memories with her?] Nee-chan said. I don't know why but, it still hurts me like hell hearing that she left me...

"I'm really busy, Chihiro-nee chan." I simply said and I heard she just sighed.

[Okay. So, we're going now but before anything else... Just a few words from your older sister.] She said seriously.

[I know that you will never be like that if you know that you didn't do something that made her leave you. I can sense something, Ryosuke. Fix this immediately. If you love her then be the first one to make a move.] She said in a very authoritative voice. Since Yana left me few days ago, I didn't tell them the reason because I don't want to remember why she left me and I don't want them to meddle with us especially nee-chan.

"Yes, nee-chan." I said while trying to smile.

[Okay. Take care.]

"Hai. You too. Enjoy." I said then ended the call. I just sighed. This is so frustrating. I stood up and walk towards the kitchen to make my coffee. Since I got married, Yana was always the one doing this for me. I just realized now that I became so dependent to her in things like this which is I was able to do before I married her. *sigh* Why am I still thinking about her? Maybe, I should take a nap first. I walk towards our room, turned the lights on and jumped on the bed. I'm so tired ~

Before you sleep, please change into your pajamas first, Ryosuke. - Yana

Hey! Where did you put your tie again? - Yana

Ne, what happened? You look very tired. - Yana

Ryosuke, what happened with the buttons of your suit? - Yana

Do you want to eat something? - Yana

Ryosuke, you should get used to sleeping with the lights off. I'm not going to leave you anyway so why do you still want to sleep with the lights on? - Yana

I couldn't control myself anymore and I unconciously threw the pillow away. My breathing suddenly became irregular. You're not going to leave me? Then where the hell are you now!? You're lying to me!!! I sat on the bed while leaning on the head board. I put both of my elbows on my knees and brushed my fingers through my hair.

"Where the hell are you? Please...come back, Yana." I whispered while covering my eyes with my right hand. I could no longer hold it anymore and tears escaped my eyes. I never thought that she could leave me...that she would get tired of me... I never thought that my life will become messed up like this without her. I-i can't... I d-don't think...I can...live...without y-you... Please come back, Yana.

...TO BE CONTINUED...

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TIME CHECK-11:30 AM 7/11/2019