Godfall

I had trouble sleeping that night.

I was sleeping on a mattress on the floor. Beside me, on another mattress, was Devy. That's right the bed was reserved for Ketchup. Apparently he was "too cute." for the floor. I wanted to remind Devy how, a bit earlier, he hadn't been "too cute" for the garbage, but I had a feeling that would backfire. So there we were. Lords of heaven and hell being looked down upon by a bloody cat.

You'd think the cat would sleep soundly with it's superior and most comfortable position. But no. It seems Ketchup was on a permanent hunt for mice. But of course, there were no mice. So he occasionally pounced on the closest substitute he could find.

Me.

From a god to a human to a mouse.

Could this get any worse?

As I was wondering about Ketchup, Brutus and my hostile work environment, I eventually drifted off to sleep.

In the morning, I woke up to a warm sensation on my face. I opened my mouth to yawn and some hot salty liquid went in. It was an interesting taste. Something even I, a god had never had. I was about to swallow when I opened my eyes. THANK GOD (me) I OPENED MY EYES. Have you ever seen a cat's p.e.n.i.s? No? Well neither had I. Not until two seconds ago, at least.

It was right there. Right in front of my face and the liquid a god had never tasted was coming from THERE. The f.u.c.k.i.n.g cat was PEEING on me. On my million dollar face. My money maker.

So the answer, of course was yes! yes, it could.

I scrubbed my face so hard while bathing my beard would've caught fire if I had one. Devy was still sleeping peacefully, his shift at Walmart didn't start until later so I didn't disturb him. The smell of pee from my mattress would disturb him soon enough but I didn't have enough time to deal with that so I just got dressed and head out for my first day of work.

___________________________________________

Thankfully Brutus wasn't there. He probably worked a different shift, the manager was pretty incompetent I guess, not telling me anything about anything. Did he not see my expression when I saw Brutus by any chance? Or did Brutus call everyone mommy?But it was better this way because no competent manager would hire someone like me. Or Brutus at that. I could still smell the cat piss from my face despite all the soap, body lotion, etc I put on it (Devy takes real good care of his skin). It was probably psychological but I couldn't risk it. So I was constantly chewing a gum and sprayed deodorant at regular intervals. It was early in the morning so most of the customers were joggers buying sports drinks or breakfast. No one troublesome. Then I heard "Mommy I want this !" from behind an aisle and almost choked on the gum.

But thankfully it was an actual kid with an actual mom. No offense to Brutus, he had a real non-imaginary(and non male) mom somewhere out there too hopefully and I hoped he'd find Her someday. As long as that mom wasn't me, that is.

I hoped he'd never find me in fact.

It was closing in on midday now. The office workers crowd had come and gone. Buying packed lunchs, newspapers, cigarettes, the occasional beer buyer. Midday was calmer though. Wives doing their daily grocery shopping, some with kids some alone. Some juicy gossip floating around here and there. This was the kind of soft and fluffy environment in the store when the man came in. The suspicious man. In an all black suit and even darker shades covering his eyes. I thought it was Devy at first but this one had blond hair so that wasn't possible unless Devy had dyed his hair which he wouldn't. Black(Devy's hair colour) is the color of darkness. Blond is of light. I had muddy blond hair. That was enough reason for Devy to stay far far away from the colour.

His shades were huge hiding almost half of his face. They were suspicious. Who the hell wears sunglasses indoors? He looked around, satisfied, he approached me the cashier. I could see a bulge under his jacket as he said monotonously- "Give me all your money."

Oh.

That explains the shades.

I don't think I've done m(any) godlike things since the start of this story. But this was my chance. My time to shine. To bring a bad guy to justice and save an innocent person from being robbed. "No you F.u.c.ker." I said. I sounded brave in my head but my voice might've come off a little high pitched. What with a gun being pointed at me and all.

He raised his eyebrows. I mean he probably must've. I wouldn't know with those damn shades.

He pulled out the gun from under the coat put it to my forehead and said "You said something?"

"Yes sir. Dear sir, respected sir. Would you like a bag to put it in?"

I added a breathmint to the money because that F.u.c.ker smelled like piss.

Oh yeah that might've been me.

could this day get any worse?

At that a kid came running out of an aisle and crashed into the robber. A bag of gems fell from the aisle.

The robber was about to slap the kid when it happened.

I ran towards them, I still had some godly dignity left and pushed the robber from behind. He stepped on the gems and

-BANGGG-

went his pistol.

There were screams all over the store but I couldn't hear them. I felt the cold tile floor only briefly before drifting off into oblivion.

___________________________________________