God's Gift

A/N - This is an edit of the first original chapter, I hope you like it. Don't be too mean on my writing ability but I do want constructive criticism and suggestions. I came up with this a while back (with the notice being a year ago) so the first may seem different from other chapters. Enjoy!

My name is James Williams. I'm a shitty cubicle worker who's slowly losing faith in his own life. I live by myself and have no real friends, not close anyway. Doing my work, I glance at my hands, white as snow and dry as a desert; from closer inspection, I notice that my fingernails have been savagely eaten and deprived of life, must be from stress. Weights hanging from my eyelids, making my head slowly sway from side to side. I scratch my hair and feel a sharp, sudden pain and immediately move my hand away as I scrunch my eyes. I observe my cubicle and notice that it's completely empty apart from what was originally there; I lack the imagination to be creative. I lean back from my chair and crack my back; I sigh with p.l.e.a.s.u.r.e. I go back to work.

After an hour or so, I overhear my boss screaming at one of my coworkers. "I told you to get this done an hour ago and you're only halfway done. I'm disappointed to have you as one as my employees. I want to see you work 5 times harder and get this done by the end of the day or you're fired" and he slams his office door, shocking the victim. I despise him; he has the most detestable features and has an awful attitude; ever since I worked here two years ago, I've seen him do that multiple times a day, since he's been the boss, apparently twenty people have quit their job. Whenever I see him in his office, I see him staring very intensely at his monitor. I wonder what he has on it. My boss notices me staring at him, shit, shit, get back to work. I immediately straighten my back and stare at my screen pretending to press keys. I guide my eyes toward him and notice him angrily pace towards me, with every step, it makes me shrivel into myself. I see him stop and study me while I concentrate not to look at him and work.

"Hmm, so you have all this work to do which you seem to be working hard on but I can't help but wonder why you can look at me working with a glimpse of disgust toward me,'' he claims with a condescending and threatening voice, "if you have any complaints towards me, I would love that you mention it to me as soon as possible, I would love to know what goes on inside your sick and twisted head"

Hesitantly, I say "No sir, I don't have anything to say to you but I will tell you if I have anything to say. I was merely just letting my hands rest as they were aching and looking around"

An abrupt, excruciating pain comes from my bosses palm to my vulnerable back, "Good lad, that's the spirit. I want to see you work one hundred and ten per cent now". Gripping my shoulder he leans closer to my ear and whispers, "Don't f.u.c.k with me James, you have no idea what I could do to you if you disobey, so act like a dog and obey. Alright?"

I shake my head up and down rapidly and he laughs and say "Alright, now get to work, your deadline's tomorrow." My shoulder aches.

If I had the chance to kill him, I would most definitely take that opportunity. I've thought of this multiple times and came up with the perfect scenario. I close my eyes and imagine.

It's the middle of the night, it's pitch black with no light apart from one house, a mansion to be specific. I stand there and assess the situation where black clothes with a black face mask with a skeleton head. Sneakily, I crouch down and gradually move towards the door. I search around for a key, looking under plant pots, rocks etcetera. I stumble across a key which was on top of his door frame and think "What a stupid f.u.c.k.i.n.g idiot to have a key for a person to use." When I look to admire his mansion, I couldn't help but feel uneasy and envious. His house towards over me and intimidates me. I shake my head and unlock. He grabs his flip knife and inspects it. It had a solid matte black finish with sharp, terrifying silver edge that can easily slice through flesh. I couldn't help but shiver. I hear a noise coming the living room; quietly, I sneak toward and realise that it's his boss watching TV, the sound is extremely loud. Lucky for me, he won't notice me. I walk behind him. I tightly grip my blade and lift it above my head. I shut my eyes.

I stab him again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again. I lift my knife in and out of his c.h.e.s.t. Blood rushes out of his body and showers the room until there was nothing left. I stare at my bloody hands and I quietly chuckle; slowly, it becomes a crazy and inarticulate laugh. I am insane to think this. I glance at his lifeless body to see that his boss had absolutely no time to react. Tiny bits of blood pours from the holes in his body. I can still see his fingers twitching. I say "You deserve this you piece of shit, I hope that it was painful." I open my eyes and smirk.

"Hey, are you doing alright?" a voice comes from the cubicle to me.

I see one of my co-workers, Harry, with a wide grin, close to laughter. "You should be used to this by now seen as how he does this everyday, guess not though," he snickers to himself. He's one of the only people that I like in the whole of my department; Harry, a lady's man, handsome with a radiant personality, people naturally gravitate to him. He's the polar opposite of me, could go as far as to call him my unreachable role model.

"Yeah, I guess..." leaning in closer, "How can you tolerate a man as despicable as him"

"Man you just have to zone out just agree with whatever he has to say or you could grow some balls and stand up to him, but that's a death wish seen as he owns the company. I guess you just have to find your own way of tolerating. It's sad but that's how it is."

Taking in the information that Harry said into consideration, I triumphantly say, "You know what, I will grow some balls… I'll talk to the d.i.c.khead of a boss and demand that he treats me, in fact, the whole of the workforce with respect… at the end of the day!"

"Good luck with that."

I continue to work till the end of the day, three quarters of the way done on my work. Relieved, I lift myself from my chair and clean my desk, put essentials into my bag and prepare to leave. "Hey, weren't you supposed to talk about something, didn't it go along of treating the workforce with respect."

I instantly stop and turn towards Harry, "Ah yeah, I'll do that now." shuddering at the thought of opposing the boss. I warily step toward the door of the bosses office, I shiver. Looking at the overpowering door, the cracks and gaps, they seem to be leaking something, something evil. Placing my knuckle against the door, I feel its evil aura, my hand begins to shake uncontrollably. I can't… I can't do it.

Lowering my head in shame, I quickly rush out of the building, catching a quick glimpse of Harry, a disappointed face, almost wanting me to try again and again until I can oppose the boss.

I drive myself to the nearest coffee shop and open the door. I am blinded by the light of the cafe as I stroll in. I walk up to the counter and wait for the barista to notice me. A very pretty, young woman asks me "Hi, are you ready to order" with a big, cheerful smile. I hate people like this because they are incredibly fake trying to get a tip out of you. I feel that they are very toxic people that loathe the customers. I imagine her saying if she was honest "Order your drink and piss off would you, we've got other customers you know." with a threatening voice. Probably not.

With a monotone voice, I say, "Yeah, I'll just have a medium cappuccino please." with her replying with "Alright, could I just get your name?"

"James"

Uninterested, I sit down and wait for my drink. I notice a young couple having a pleasant conversation. I whisper to myself saying "I wasted my youth. What am I now, a nobody,"

"James!"

Thinking to myself, 'What have done in my life? Nothing… I need to more in life before it's too late.'

"James, your coffee's ready!"

Snapping out of my trance, I go to grab my coffee from the barista and says "Thank you" with a wholesome smile.

I sit down and look at the coffee; I notice that it has love heart on it, a simple but nice detail. I lift my head towards the barista and smile. She smiles back. I get back to my coffee to see that the heart has disappeared and realise where I am. I drink my coffee as quickly as possible. It's bitter; I never liked coffee but this is an excuse to go out.

I exit the building and rush towards my car, cheeks red from embarrassment. I shuffle my hand inside my backpack to find my keys. I feel a small pinch and grab it. I lift my hand from my bag and see my overwhelming amount of keys surrounding my car keys. Shuffling, my keys fall, clashing with the ground. I sigh and reach for my keys. A gust of wind struck my back, making my eyes widen excessively. I shiver and guide my eyes toward the wind. I know something's watching, they're cold, dead eyes. Afraid, I turn my head towards it. Seeing nothing, I lower my guard and quickly grab my keys. Still, on edge, I look around and finally go into my car.

I put my car key into the ignition lock and rev my engine. Again, again and again, I turn my key constantly and grunt. I try again. I slam my hands on the steering wheel, "For f.u.c.k's sake, this car's so shit". I close my eyes and breathe in and out. Lifting my hands off the steering wheel, I notice my hands sting. I imagine my coworker's car, the bosses son, who has a Mercedes Benz E-Class, standing in front of him in his expensive suit, laughing at me, having his arm around his beautiful wife's waist with a luxurious, vermillion dress. He's the second on my kill list. I grind my teeth and rev my engine again which actually worked. 'Guess the car likes my negative energy,' I think to myself. I drive out of the car park and go home.

I park up and get out of the car. I raise my head to look at my apartment complex. I cringe and a bit of sick came into my mouth. The complex is a colourless, grey and reeks of disappointment. It's a 5 story building with no personality apart from the graffiti and tags that fill the bottom half of the building. I walk towards the front door and notice a person lying on the ground, shaking with sudden screams. I see them usually once every week. I open the door and quickly shut, afraid the addict was following me. I wander around looking to see if the elevator actually works. 'Out of order' the sign says. I groan and head towards the stair. I was always afraid of the stairs, it's a pitch black, gloomy room that seems to have no end. My room's on the fourth floor, so I prepare myself, lifting my legs one by one, trying to circulate blood into them. I take a deep breathe and take my first step. After the second floor, my body is beginning to feel weak, every step turning into a chore. I finally reach my floor and walk down the hall, swaying from side to side.

I reach my door and unlock it. As I turn the knob, I can't help but think about what happened at the coffee shop. Thinking logically, I realise that it wasn't anything but just paranoia and being outside for too long. I shake my head and open my door. Instantly, I throw my body onto my couch. I reach for my headphones and plug it into my phone, turning on music, drowning out the noise of the arguing couple next door. Having a good taste of music is the only thing that I've really been good at, and I'm confident in my ability to recommend songs to friends if I had any. I close my eyes.

I see darkness. I walk through the void, a blurred figure appears in front of me, around 20 metres away. I edge closer to the figure; becoming clearer, it's me. Confused, I watch. Looking down, I see a pool of blood and a body that has been savagely stabbed. With me continuing to stab them. Blood squirts out the body and splashes on my face. I wipe it off and stare. Is this what I'm really what I am? Would I really go through with something like this? Is this what I really want?

My eyes instantly open up and my body springs forward. Tears run down my face. What was that?

"Oh, OK, so you can go out partying while I'm busting my a.s.s off just for us to survive! The least you can do is show me some respect! Ashley, seriously this is the last straw; if you don't help me then your gonna have to get the f.u.c.k out!"

After hearing that, I realise that I'm still alive. Smiling, I get out of bed.