God’s Guide for Teasing Heroes

Kazue POV 

  

 
 

 
 

  

Hi, this is Kazue. 

I’ve been thinking. 

“Is this how raid usually goes?”  

I asked as I look around me. 

  

  

2 days ago, I was asked by the Adventurer’s guild Receptionist to join a dungeon raid. 

For that, I was tested by an adventurer and ended up having a duel to prove myself. 

I did pass the test and was acknowledged by my fellow adventurers who would be joining the raid. 

But then I wanted to ask. 

Was that test really necessary? 

I wanted to ask this because of the situation that was happening right in front of my eyes. 

  

  

Blood, mutilated flesh, pieces of meat that was once part of a monster that is once called a “Kobold”. 

“This isn’t a raid… this is just a straight-up massacre.”  

I said to myself as I see my fellow adventurer massacre the kobold guarding the dungeon’s entrance. 

  

  

********* 

  

  

After the duel yesterday, I decided to look for things to bring during the raid. 

For instance, I bought food and water. 

I also bought useful tools from different shops around the city. 

Items such as ropes, low-grade firestone, torches, smoke bombs, bandages, and other useful stuff. 

I spend the day walking around the city with that mindset. 

That is how that day ended. 

I came back to the inn and enjoyed the bed since I expect that I would be in the dungeon for some time. 

  

  

The next day came. 

It was right after dawn, and adventurers participating in the raid all gathered in front of the adventurer’s guild. 

One particular adventurer seemed to be very popular amongst the adventurers present. 

It was a female adventurer with crimson red hair, wearing revealing armor. 

She was a stunning beauty. 

The armor she was wearing reminds me of the armor that I often see in RPG games I borrowed from my brother. 

I remember my brother calling this kind of armor “Bikini Armor”. 

The Black, Red, and gold-colored armor does not cover much of her body. 

It was very revealing, exposing a lot of her skin and barely covering the parts that must be covered. 

Despite that, maybe it was because of the person wearing the armor or because the armor itself was not revealing enough, but from the way I see it, she still looks dignified. 

I was mesmerized looking at the female adventurer. 

She then started to do a small speech. 

  

  

“Good morning adventurers. I am glad to see you all participating in the annual Kobold Dungeon Raid. There are old and new faces amongst the people here but I am confident. With the help of all of you who are present here, I do not doubt that the raid will go smoothly. Unlike in the past, I and my party will not be leading the subjugation of the Kobold King. I’m Leaving that to the others now. I am only here to make sure that all things will go as planned. Also, to teach some lessons to our newcomers.”  

I could hear light laughers from the veteran adventurers. 

That bothered me a bit. 

 
 

 
 

“Well… if something “unexpected” happens during the raid it is my job to do something about it. To be honest, I don’t think my help would be necessary. After all, we have several adventurers here who are good enough to deal with those “unexpected” situations.”  

She said those words while looking at three adventurers standing right behind that female adventurer. 

Her voice was sweet but at the same time very commanding. 

I could not help but listen to her sweet voice. 

The content of her speech wasn’t particularly inspiring but I feel that my morale was going up. 

I knew that she was not particularly saying those words to me but I feel that she was inspiring me to do better during the raid. 

[What was her name again… was it miss Lavi?... Anyway, this woman is very charismatic…] 

  

  

The three adventurers who were the target of her speech acknowledged, they either nodded or proudly smiled at the female adventurer speaking. 

“Alright, shall we go?”  

She turned around gracefully revealing beautiful red hair. 

The light of the morning sun shone on her hair making her hair appear like a burning crimson flame. 

Her back was awe-inspiring. 

  

  

There was silence. 

All of the adventurers were mesmerized as I was. 

Then I realized It was time to go. 

When the female adventurer said that it was time to go the adventurer roared in enthusiastically. 

---RHRAAAAA---   

I could not help it. 

Even I roared with them raising my hand and screaming. 

[THIS IS FUN!!!] 

Even my familiars could not help but howl. 

We are intoxified with excitement from the moment. 

We all lively start the march toward the dungeon. 

  

  

As we walked toward the dungeon the raiding party encountered more and more Kobolds. 

After 4 hours of marching through the forest. 

Other than some encounters with some monsters on our way, we did not have much problem reaching our destination. 

The monster we encountered were dealt with by other adventurers. 

  

  

Then, the scouts of the raiding party reported that we have arrived. 

We stopped near the dungeon  

Spells were cast by the magic user in the raiding party to mask our presence away from the Kobolds. 

“We have arrived, I know you all know what to do right?”  

All of the adventurers nodded including me. 

I could see wide smiles from the adventurers around me. 

For some reason, I could feel that those smiles felt different from the expression I expected. 

Unlike me who wears a smile of excitement, most of the adventurers around me wore a murderous kind, a crazed kind of smile. 

 
 

  

“Well, it’s a free for all raid. Remember to back up those adventurers who are in trouble… fufu.”  

Somehow the female adventurer let out a sarcastic giggle. 

[??] 

I notice this and wondered the reason. 

I could tell that she was looking at me and several other adventurers closely. 

Later, I will realize the reason for this sarcasm. 

  

  

“We will start the raid, ready your weapons”  

All of the adventurers took out their weapons. 

“Ready…”  

Miss Lavi raised her hands. 

We are all prepared to charge. 

I watched this and followed their example lowering my body to dash at any moment. 

“Set…”  

Miss Lavi tense-up her hand and was about to put it down. 

I felt bloodlust flowing out from the veteran members of the raid. 

I and some other newcomers felt this sending chills down our spine. 

The red-haired adventurer smiled looking at the wild look of the adventurer who was about to raid the dungeon. 

“GO!”  

Miss Lavi swung her hands down. 

  

  

The charge started. 

Adventurers dashed toward the entrance of the dungeon holding their weapons. 

Magic went flying toward the entrance of the dungeon targeting the Kobolds guarding the entrance. 

They were bombarded by long-ranged attacks creating large explosions. 

Bodies of Kobold being sliced in half, shredded into pieces, blown apart, flung into the air, and trampled on the ground. 

The kobold was killed in all the ways you could imagine. 

It was a massacre. 

  

  

My jaw dropped. 

“AH???”  

[What’s happening?] 

I said looking at the sight of blood and unrecognizable body parts flung in the air and scattered around. 

“what… the…”  

I looked around and saw mutilated kobolds. 

“urpgff…”  

It made my gag reflex act up; the sight almost made me puke. 

Isamu, Hayate, and Kaori my familiars saw this as well and felt fear. 

Fear, not from the Kobolds but toward the adventurers who looked more like monsters than the Kobolds themselves. 

  

  

It wasn’t only me who reacted this way. 

5 other adventurers like me wore shocked faces as I did. 

They too were unsure of what to do. 

Then one of them said. 

“This isn’t a raid… it’s a massacre.”  

[I know right? I agree this is not a raid but a massacre.] 

I thought in agreement with the comment of that particular adventurer. 

  

  

I lifted my face and saw that the leader of the raid, Miss Lavi was looking at our faces and was laughing wryly. 

She was paying more attention to our reactions rather than the adventurers who came charging into the dungeon, like craze animals. 

[She knew! She knew that we'll react this way!] 

“fufufu, I could not get enough of seeing newcomers react this way.”  

  

  

It only took several minutes till the surrounding became quiet. 

All of the veteran participants of the raid have successfully entered the dungeon. 

They left a field painted red from the blood and flesh of the murdered Kobolds. 

They rushed into the dungeon as if they were a bunch of hungry housewives rushing and pushing their way into a store with a limited-time wholesale event. 

  

  

I could only watch these crazed-looking adventurers in awe. 

“Uwah..."  

I could not help myself but hold back from charging toward the dungeon as I was afraid of getting hurt by my very own senpais. 

Instead, I took this time to calm my heart. 

  

  

At that moment a sweet voice reverberated in my ears. 

“Have you guys calmed down?”  

It was miss Lavi, the leader of the raid. 

She was standing in the same spot when she initiated the commencement of the raid. 

Behind her was the members of her party "Rubyguards", looking at us with an amused look on their faces. 

I simply nodded in reply to her sweet voice. 

The other 5 adventurers who seemed to be in one party also did the same. 

  

  

“That’s good, I know that this scene can be shocking, especially to the 1st time participants of this raid. But, It’s part of the experience.”  

[I see so this happens to all of the newcomers.] 

“… Since you all calmed down. I must say something.”  

Miss Lavi said calmly and slowly. 

It was as if she was taking her time to say things to us so we could calm down. 

  

  

“Being an adventurer is a dangerous job, but things like this also happen. To be honest, entering a dungeon doesn’t usually go this easy. Only, “Luron's annual Kobold Dungeon Raid Event" always begins this way. This Kobold dungeon is one of the easiest dungeons to raid, you can find precious things inside the dungeon. We sell those precious things to help the guild earn money.”  

She continued to talk with her sweet voice. 

Listening to her voice made me calm down from what I saw a few moments ago. 

It was the same with the 5 other newcomer adventurers who were in a similar state as I am, shocked and confused. 

  

  

Miss Lavi continues to talk with her sweet voice calming me even more. 

“Thus, the purpose of this event was actually for the guild and the adventurers to gain money.”  

[I see so this event was actually for that purpose… I tried to remember the detail of the quest.] 

On my mind… 

  

----------------- 

Kobold Dungeon Raid Participation Quest 

Rank: D 

Detail: 

Participate in the annual Raid of the “KOBOLD DUNGEON” Located on the outskirts of the forest near the city of Luron.  Join the raid and defeat as many Kobold-kind monsters within the dungeon.  The guild also requests adventurers to gather as many materials from the kobolds.  Treasures found within the dungeon can be kept by the individual/party who found the treasure.  An additional reward will be given for defeating Kobold monsters. 

The additional reward will be calculated as follows: 

Kobold Archer----------------(10,000 DAL) 

Kobold Knight-----------------(10,000 DAL) 

Kobold Mage------------------(12,000 DAL) 

Kobold Shaman---------------(12,000 DAL) 

Kobold Elite--------------------(15,000 DAL) 

Kobold Leader-----------------(50,000 DAL) 

Kobold General---------------(1,000,000 DAL) + (2x D-rank Completion Assessment) 

Kobold King-------------------(25,000,000 DAL) + (2x C-Rank Completion Assessment) 

Reward: 

200,000 DAL 

----------------------- 

  

It was a perfect place to gather Kobold's fangs and collect useful things. 

  

  

“This is also a perfect place for adventurers to gain money by killing kobolds and gathering materials.”  

[... Weird...] 

I felt something was off. 

It was the members of miss Lavi’s party… 

They are laughing… 

Why?... 

  

  

“You should be thinking… Why do the experienced one so eager to rush inside the dungeon right?”  

Miss Lavi continuously talked to calm our minds. 

She was trying to explain things to us, the newcomers... but I could not shake this feeling that something was up. 

Why? Why… I could not erase the impression that miss Lavi and her party members wearing a face that says that something amusing was going on. 

  

  

“Inside the dungeon, you can find treasure chests randomly spawned. When you find one it usually contains things that can be sold for a high price.”  

She continued to talk as sweet and solemnly. 

I could not help but listen to her explanation even though I already know what she was talking about. 

I’ve already known this from Shai’s lectures before I left the Capital from before. 

This should be common sense. 

She continued to explain things to us, it was detailed and very educational. 

1,2,3… 5 minutes had passed. 

The more time passed the more intense the feeling of something being off crept in. 

The more amused the faces of the party members of miss Lavi became. 

At first, I thought it was because of our earlier reaction to the crazed adventurers who entered the dungeon. 

  

  

Then it came to me… 

The reason why… 

My face went pale… 

  

  

[These senpais are mean!] 

One of miss Lavi's party members noticed the sudden change in my expression. 

Judging from the way she reacted to my pale face, I knew that I was right. 

Her face was so fulfilled as she noticed that I became aware of what they were doing. 

I looked at the other 5 adventurers behind me, they were happily listening to miss Lavi’s stories. 

They have noticed nothing. 

[D*MN, D*MN, D*MN, D*MN, D*MN, D*MN IT!] 

  

  

I stood up silently and ignored miss Lavi and her party. 

"What? Are you going to the restroom? Go on..."  

[I knew it... They must have noticed that I was aware of what they were doing and was trying to play it low so that the other 5 would not notice anything. Her face was even telling me not to tell them.] 

I simply nodded. 

To the other five, the meaning of my nod was to confirm that I was going to the restroom. 

While miss Lavi and her party members, it meant something different. 

Well, it would not help me if they noticed it now. 

It would only make it worse for me. 

“Hayate, Kaori, Isamu let’s go…”  

  

  

I quietly move on. 

No one was paying attention to me. 

I looked at miss Lavi and her party with a scowl. 

I called my familiars through our thought connection then ran toward the dungeon without saying a word. 

  

  

The main topic miss Lavi was lecturing us about was how much can we earn in the dungeon and how we can obtain them. 

It was nice that they are telling this us… it was helpful, to be honest. 

But it was not the time for us to listen to these lectures. 

The reason why miss Lavi’s party members were looking at us like that was also because of this. 

They were just stalling time. 

  

  

At first, it looked like they were just concerned with the newcomers but in fact, they were bullies. 

The more time we spend listening to them the worst it would be for us. 

The veteran adventurers were already inside. 

They already had a head start. 

The reason they rushed toward the dungeon was that they want to be first. 

In that way, they could monopolize the treasures, defeat more Kobolds, and gain more money. 

The adventurers who would enter the dungeon later would only get “leftovers”. 

Listening to miss Lavi might be educational but you can’t earn anything by just listening. 

That was what they were doing. 

The veteran knows this, and that is why they rushed inside the dungeon. 

Meaning, if we waste our time outside the dungeon the less we could earn during the event. 

[DON’T JOKE WITH ME! The reason why I joined this raid was exactly for that reason! MONEY] 

  

  

Miss Lavi was already an accomplished B-ranked adventurer. 

She must have no issue with money. 

She’s skilled enough to clear a quest that can earn her rewards than that of a mere “D-rank quest". 

Also, she said during her speech earlier that made the veteran members of the raid laugh. 

The words that made them laugh were… “to teach lessons to our newcomers”. 

[Sh*t! those senpais are the worst.] 

  

  

So… 

I entered the dungeon. 

It was a cave leading deep into the mountain. 

Torches were attached to the walls lighting the pathways. 

Inside the dungeon were the corpses of the defeated Kobolds. 

I checked and their fangs were skillfully collected. 

  

  

You might be asking… why did I not say anything to my fellow newcomers. 

Hell, why would I? 

It would only make it harder for me to earn more money during this event. 

If I let them know, this means I will have to contest them with the leftovers right? 

Why the hell I would do that? 

  

  

I continued and explored the dungeon. 

As I did, I found a treasure chest hidden from sight. 

“YES! A treasure chest!”  

I ran toward it and opened the treasure chest. 

To my surprise it was empty, the treasure chest was freaking empty… 

It was purposely left like it was still undiscovered but in fact, they have already emptied the content of the treasure chest. 

I slammed it close and kicked the treasure chest out of my frustration. 

“GAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!” 

[They must be teasing the latecomers and wasting their time opening the chest. THOSE SENPAIS!!! ARHHH! I was naive, so naive!!!] 

  

  

As expected, 

They left nothing for the latecomers. 

It was a first-come, first-serve, Finders keepers competition. 

There is no need to be courteous, take anything and everything you can. 

All I found was an empty treasure chest and a dead Kobold without fangs in every corner of the dungeon. 

  

  

. 

. 

. 

. 

  

  

  

What is the reason why adventurers keep on taking quests? 

Was it to raise their ranks? 

That reason might be valid if you do not need money. 

I realized this after I lost all of the money the empire gave me when I left the castle. 

The main reason for low-ranked adventurers to take up quests was to gain money. 

Increasing rank means you can take up a quest with greater rewards. 

The main reason most adventurers wanted to raise their ranks was exactly because of this. 

  

  

It took me another 15 minutes to run inside the dungeon without finding anything. 

At last, I saw my first kobold, my first victim. 

“10,000 DAL!!!” 

I screamed like I was crazy. 

I saw a Kobold Knight who seemed to be running away from something. 

I used (Burst) and dashed forward to not let it escape or get killed by anyone other than myself. 

Without having a second thought I slashed my sword toward the Kobold without mercy. 

The Kobold Knight could not even react. 

It didn't have a chance to lift its wooden shield or its sword to protect itself from my blade. 

The blood of my prey splattered in the air and on my face. 

"HAHAHA!!! 10,000DAL!" 

 

 

 

 

 

  

A voice entered my mind. 

[Mother, your face… it’s similar to those scary people from earlier] 

Kaori was the one who notices my facial expression and pointed it out to me. 

“I see…”  

The looks of the veteran adventurers who rushed toward the dungeon a while ago have the same face. 

The face of someone willing to massacre for the sake of gaining money. 

The more they kill the more money they receive. 

“Ha, Haha, HAHAHAHA”  

[I understand now…] 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author Note

 

 

Here’s the bonus Art I promised for this chapter…

 

 

 

Oh… I noticed that the drawing I made for chapter 45 was corrupted or something.

If you were unable to see it or noticed that it was corrupted as well, you can check it out now if you are interested, I already fixed the link.

 

Also, I thought I’d already scheduled this chapter but to my surprise, I did not.

This chapter should have already been published 2 days ago but today when I was about uploading chapter 47, I notice that chapter 46  is not yet published…
Tehe~

 

So, in the end, I will just post chapter 47 tomorrow.
heck, I already scheduled it!