The past few days in magical Britain were perilous.

With the possible return of Voldemort, a sense of doom had fallen upon the wizarding community.

Wizengamot meetings were held. When the time to decide the new minister arrived, with hiss shrewd mind, Edmund was able to shift the decision towards electing Amelia Bones, who had recently accepted an alliance with house Whirlpool on behalf of house Bones, for the seat.

It wasn't a landslide victory and there was a close competition with Amos Diggory who was selected to be a candidate from Dumbledore's camp. But the old goat couldn't do much since he wasn't allowed back into the Wizengamot. His position was taken over by Augusta Longbottom and Edmund had left no way for that to change.

Months went by and the ministry was systematically cleansed off the influence of Lucius Malfoy. Edmund enjoyed watching the helpless constipated look on the man's face. His control over the various offices of ministry were slipping out of his hands and all could do was watch as he hopelessly tried to hold onto whatever was left of his influence.

Killing Fudge was a decision he had made quite impulsively. Since he had killed Umbridge, Fudge would have tried his very best to implicate Iris. No, the man had to die. And what better way to do so than implicate a megalomaniac and make people believe his return?

But, Voldemort still hadn't reacted. There were no attacks, no disappearances and no major commotion among the dark creatures. Was he bidding time for people to stop believing in his return? Edmund couldn't have that.

After explaining Iris the possibilty of Vordemort trying to stay low, they decided to provoke the dork in a way they were sure he'd react publically.

(ROTS)

Voldemort was standing in his throne room in malfoy manor. He was currently discussing attempts to bring various dark creatures as allies to his cause with Lucius. A streak of bright light shot down from the ceiling and straight into Voldemort's c.h.e.s.t.

"My Lord!" Lucius cried in surprise, his wand in his hand.

Voldemort waved Lucius off as he drew the envelope the light had resolved into off of his c.h.e.s.t. His magical senses told him no harm would come to him from the letter. He examined the envelope and saw that it was addressed to Tom Marvolo Riddle.

[Dark Assat,

I hope having a body back finds you well. Thank you ever so much for making it easier for me to kill you, dumb shit. I have been reading a lot about your tactics during the last war. I found it curious that you mainly attacked muggles who couldn't really defend themselves. You must be one scared little bitch inside to pull the tactics you did. But then we already know this since you attacked me when I was just a baby. You were that scared of me! What a p.u.s.s.y.

Even now you are hiding in the shadows, not revealing yourself to the magical world. Know that while you continue to hide I am going to make a mockery of you. When I am done with you nobody will fear your name. Have fun buggering Lucius.... or perhaps getting buggered by him. Might as well invite Snape and give him a quickie.

With extreme loathing,

Iris Lily Potter

Kicker of Voldemort's A.s.s as a Baby]

Lucius remained silent as he watched Voldemort's expression start to grow more severe until he could feel the angry black magic permeating from the dark lord like a force of nature. Then something curious happened. A spray of brown substance shot forth from the parchment Voldemort held and coated his body. His lips had been peeled back from his teeth in a silent snarl while reading the letter and therefore he got shit on his teeth.

Lucius wrinkled his nose at the smell.

"Potter!" Voldemort snarled.

He threw the parchment away and made to destroy it but he wasn't fast enough. A torrent of acid, magically enhanced, shot from the parchment and sprayed all over him. Some got Lucius too and the vile liquid began eating at their flesh.

Voldemort's 's wand twisted through the air in a complicated movement that saw all of the fecal matter and acid vanish from the room along with the letter. He stunned a screaming Lucius before he sent a summons off to Snape. He would need healing potions to treat these burns. He made sure to remove the memory of the cause of the burns from Lucius mind and replace it with the memory of a magical accident while experimenting with dark magic being the cause. It wouldn't do for Voldemort's followers to see him suffer such an attack.

"Potter, I will make you pay," Voldemort hissed into the silence of the room as he cast pain numbing charms on himself while waiting for Snape to arrive.

His eyes momentarily flikered towards that morning's prophet lying at his feet which had come with the letter.

[Dark Lord is a Half Blood Bastard

-By Charlie Chaplin

That's right readers, you read that correctly. The dark wizard who calls himself Lord Voldemort is really a half blood bastard born to a muggle Tom Riddle Senior and Merope Gaunt from the town of Little Hangleton. In fact the words "I am Lord Voldemort" is an anagram for the dark lord's true name, Tom Marvolo Riddle (Junior of course). The tale of Tom's past is a tragic one involving love potions and a young witch deluded by l.u.s.t and what she believed was love.]

The article then went on to detail that story. The article was well written with plenty of picture evidence from the scenes and events being described.

[I don't know about you readers but this writer finds the fact that the purebloods bow and kiss the feet of someone they claim to fight against rather hilarious.]

Voldemort snarled in anger, which turned out to be a high pitched shriek. Enough, with his secret out in the public, and in such a shameful way, he had to make a statement.

(ROTS)

A/N: I had a test in college so didn't get much time to type this chapter. Also the reason why it is so short. My apologies.

Anyway, did you like the chapter?

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