60 – What Mrs. Rabbit expects from her husband is love (complete)

I never asked you to be a great dad.

know?

I just wanted you to be – my love, I never asked you to be a father to my kids or… to take on the responsibilities of a head of household.

Of course, I am so glad that you are thinking of me and working hard.

Your efforts to realize your position as my husband and to love me and to take care of our children are too much…

i like you. I love you, I feel so lucky to love you.

Even if a kind person like you is so warm that sometimes I get swayed by me…

i love you for giving me Maybe I fell for you because of your silly kindness.

It’s only now that I’m able to face the past… but I didn’t understand my mother in the past.

Even if you always cling to your dad and try to fulfill your responsibilities as parents to us,

There was such a big difference between the feelings my dad gave me and what my mom gave me.

“I will always love you.”

I didn’t know at the time what that meant.

Even though it felt like a warm hug, my heart was cold.

I understand now. The meaning of the emotions my mother gave me.

Maybe it’s similar to me, I thought.

…William, Agatha.

When I first raised my children, I didn’t understand my mother.

How did he treat such a lovely, beautiful figure that seemed like you and I were mixed so coldly?

however.

I got it.

Even in situations where the kids are big enough to run around by themselves, and they seem to be able to take care of themselves –

As a father, you try to reach out to your children.

The part where I have to see the scene with my own two eyes is so, so difficult.

He said his head was pounding.

I wonder if you know that heart.

The thought that you seem to be neglecting me as the children fill the arms of me and the number of people you can give love to increases.

I can’t help but do it even though I know I shouldn’t.

It hurts, my heart hurts.

To think that I have to hate my children even though I know they are my children.

But if I don’t, I don’t know what I’m going to do to you or my kids.

I’m so sorry for tying you up like this, but I need you. Or I don’t know what you’ll do to my children you love.

anxious I feel anxious every time.

The nails that are inadvertently raised while hugging the children,

I believed that I was looking at the children warmly, but the fact that my face was hardened,

Over and over, every time you hold hands with the children and lead them to the table,

it hurts. so painful.

Why don’t you give me that hand?

Why can’t I spend time with you?

Why can’t I monopolize your attention and love, why? why? why?

You can fawn like a baby if you want, arms… legs… to get your attention?

It doesn’t matter if you lose one or two.

I’m ready to do anything to see you paying attention only to me. I’d rather do that.

That day, if it was me and not you who lost my leg,

Were you pathologically obsessed with me?

Did I become a fool who didn’t know only myself, or a person who was afraid that I might be wrong?

…I’m afraid I’ll lose you anytime, and it’s getting more complicated in my head, but you are just full of happiness every day.

My dear children, and I spend every day with a smile.

…that would be a good thing, yes, that would be a good thing.

But I can’t really enjoy that everyday like you do. that hurts

Mom sent me a letter.

It was a worrying article that my dad had recently been showing symptoms of anxiety when his mom wasn’t around.

I couldn’t do anything by myself, so my mom said I couldn’t leave the house even for a moment.

Still, it seems that there will be no problems in the future thanks to the disposal of some magic tools in the house and the money that you have sent so far, thanks to Mom’s hard work and saving.

But, why do I look like I’m proud of this…?

I read the letter again and again, but my mother can only explain that she wrote it to show off to me, full of joy.

Dad can’t live without mom. That must have been what mom wanted.

Being anxious about being away even for an hour, and doing cute things in your mother’s arms every day.

With her body unable to move properly, she asked her mother to stroke her hair while pricking her ears.

I want to stick with you even a little more,

He whispered to his mother every day like that.

…Mom, it wasn’t until we were all grown up that I could monopolize Dad.

If I think that my mother’s present is my future, I feel like I can endure even a little bit,

Why do I come to think that I won’t have enough patience to keep going?

Of course, even now, my heart, which is looking at you with such a mixed heart, without knowing anything about it,

The image of you smiling and listening to the children,

The side dishes and bread I made, well-bathed, and fed into the mouths of the children,

The way you touch William’s head and ears,

The way you answer Agatha’s questions with all your heart,

I am proud of him trying to be a good father to his children,

you don’t look at me

I wonder if I was relieved to see myself looking at my condition with my own eyes and trying not to show it as much as possible, because I hated the way you took your eyes off me again.

Even though there is me who gritted my teeth and turned my sight to the floor,

That look of you overlaps so much with the way I tried to be kind to children like my father did.

Even though I love you that much, I still resent you.

…Is this a cursed love?

***

“I’m going to school!”

“See you later, Dad!”

I still see them as children who babble in my childhood,

Sometimes I feel sad when I see Shani and the children going to school with courage.

What would it be like if I was in that position?

I wondered what it would have been like if the girl who was now carefully walking behind me and holding my hand was a little less obsessive.

That makes me think.

“…Got it, huh?”

It’s not that she doesn’t know what’s on her mind.

Glaring at me, who was concentrating on the children, eating, eating, seeing off the children, eating…

The sight of her trembling with her ears drooping down as if she was anxious, unable to concentrate properly, was pathetic.

My head is complicated by the sight of her grabbing my arm, shaking her body, and grunting.

“Guys, let’s go in. Huh?”

I remember that day once again.

The image of her screaming and weeping as she clung to me and when I fell even for a second.

“…okay.”

I couldn’t go back to those old days.

Even so, I couldn’t shake her off.

Bondage, obsession, and dependence.

While morbidly trying to stay away from the things I hate,

All she wants to do is have me completely.

After giving birth, I couldn’t do that, and

Lately, I’ve been immersed in my own thoughts, and I’ve been spitting out a lot of things to myself.

The best choice and the greatest promise I could make was that I would remain her husband, her lover, and her only love.

The best concession she can make is to temporarily take on her role as the children’s father.

But even that, because of her recent insecurity and dependence, I had to kiss her first like this every time.

“Just a little, a little more, uh…”

As she wraps her waist and back with her hands and hugs her more deeply, I also gently support her head and chin with my hands, making it deeper and darker.

With tongues intertwined, he laid her down on the bed and threw off her clothes.

“…wait, wait… Marcus, wait… you…”

Sap, sap, breathing heavily and sitting up, she was weeping.

“Why should I be like this? Why should I be jealous that you give your children love?

I love you for giving love to your kids, but wasting your time on them – no, I mean… the Lord hates you.

I like that you do your best for the children and give me love.

I hate that you give me not enough love.

Why should I be like this? Why should I remain the one who trembles with insecurity and expects your love every day? why?”

Her sniffles filled the room, and I held her hand in silence for a while.

I hadn’t thought of anything, so I got up, pulled out a document from a drawer, and sat down next to her to open it.

“…when the kids are old enough to go to boarding school, I’ll send them off.”

“…uhhh, uhhh… uh..? Eh?”

Wiping away the tears with both hands, she suddenly stopped sobbing, took the document from my hand, and began reading.

“I heard that there is an academy for gifted children in a nearby city not far away. Agatha is a talented child, so she should be able to do well enough.”

If you’re that clever, if you’re a kid who gets praised every day at school, you might be able to do it.

I was going to ask Shani to do an aptitude test sooner or later –

“William should still be with us, but if the kid wants to learn more, he’ll…”

Frankly, I didn’t want to send the kid away.

William was such a cute kid, and he was a son who loved his daddy dearly.

As the days went by, I did not want to easily let go of that pretty and handsome child from my arms.

If the child wanted it, he was willing to do so.

And the reason why I bring up this story in the first place is-

“Jeong, really? Boarding school? Kids?”

“…huh.”

Because she was sobbing with the document in her arms, delighted to have more time with me.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you so much, I love you, you, really…”

It’s only going to last a few hours, but

For her, each and every one of those moments is important, so it wouldn’t be unreasonable for her to react like this.

Suddenly, after rolling up the document and putting it in a drawer, I gently hugged and kissed her as she slowly lowered the shoulder strap and approached me.

I surrendered myself to the wave of pleasure that approached me a little softer.

…Rabbit needs love.

And without love, you die.

That’s why, today, I try to meet her growing demand for love every day.

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