Hessian Does A Thing

Hessian POV

Welp, things went pretty downhill. Leonidas is dead, Ushiwakamaru is also dead and Benkei walked off into the distance for some reason. On the bright side, it was expected for this to happen. Still pretty salty that I couldn't punch Gorgon with a giant mecha.

Now we've been tasked to literally bribe a goddess. Now I know it succeeded in the story, but really. How the hell does a goddess allow herself to be bribed? This question plagues me as I stare at the Goddess of Venus freaking out over a pile of gems.

"EHH!? THE SEVEN-JEWELED CROWN!" oh look Merlin brought out the wagon of treasure

"By the way, this is supposedly just the deposit!" I hear the Mage of flowers add in

"All... of these!?" I see her eyes nearly pop out of her skull. Wow I need to snap a pic of that.

"Of course! we'll give you all of these!"

"Huh? No way! What are you, a god!?" Wow it's really weird to be asked that from an actual goddess

"AHH! I'm getting all dizzy!" oh wow she has that same useless goddess look on her face like that one from konosuba.

"Calm down Ishtar, there can't possibly be such a good deal!" I hear her mutter to herself. Today I've learned that money really does make the world go round.

"We would like to hire you as a powerful member for combat!" Mash says. Oh so were making it completely obvious that were buying her off. I'm surprised she isn't offended by it.

"King Gilgamesh promised to open the treasury of Babylon for you." Well he did say he would

"He did!?" Now that really got her attention. Honestly I'd be surprised too knowing how his archer form acts.

"If you join us, we offer you 20% of the treasury's jewels!" Gilgamesh actually said 30% but it'd be stupid to offer all of it right away.

I watch as Ishtar started to take incredibly deep breaths as she had to sit down mid-air to process the amount of riches that she could get. Gilgamesh's treasury does include all the treasures of the world after all.

"No, that sounds too good to be true!" I hear her mutter to herself again

"THEN 25%!!!" I offered as I yelled it out like an auctioneer

"25%!? IT'S STILL GOING UP!?"

"DEAL OR NO DEAL ISHTAR!!!" I yell out like a game show host

"Wait, wait... I'm the almighty Ishtar! I can't just... from such shameful conditions...." Oh she looks like she's breaking down

"Well guys we tried, but it's a shame that we have to pack up the cargo." I say as the rest of the group packs up the treasures and start walking away.

"Understood, it's quite unfortunate. But at least we can take it back as our own." Mash followed along

"oh, WAIT! NO!! DON'T DO THAT!" the goddess cried out "IT WOULD MAKE ME SO SAD THAT I WOULD JUST DIE!" she yelled as if it would be the end of the world

"Ahhh, you win! I'll join you!"

Today I learned that money really can buy anything

∞

Under the starry night sky, the young magician tended to the fireplace as his allies slept. Normally he would simply put up a barrier and let onyx alert anyone if anything happened. However tonight he decided to wait for something.

"Good evening"

Hessian looked over to the voice to see the goddess they recently recruited. However he could feel a change in presence that was familiar to him. With understanding he gave her a smile.

"Long time no see, Eresh." he said as the goddess didn't seem surprised

"Long time no see, Hessian." she returned the gentle smile "You know, I hoped you wouldn't forget about me. So it makes me happy that you didn't."

"How could I forget about my cute landlord! Plus we lived together for nearly a year."

She smiled at the comment "It's nice that you thought I was cute. I would have liked our time together to be forever" Hessian noticed her voice hollow out a little

"Eresh, your yandere is showing again." he pointed out before it got too far

"Oh, right." she went back to normal "But it's true, I would have loved to spend eternity with you." She said as she got closer with a hand on his cheek

"Eresh, what we had was friendship." Hessian was never able to fall for her due to the rin-face.

"For you maybe, but for me it was true love." she backed off with a smile "You know, I miss the flowers that we planted. I don't have them in the current underworld."

"I'll make sure to bring some as offerings later when I make a visit" he promised as he would have to go there eventually

"Hessian, why can't you love me? I just want to hold you close to me... forever" her voice began to shift again

"Oi, it's showing again. Also, I'll admit you were close if you wanted me to fall for you." he called out her yandere again

She smiled embarrassingly "Right, sorry. You know when we first met, I had a good feeling about you. You weren't afraid of me like everyone else would be in front of a goddess of death."

"I think that's probably because at the time I couldn't even truly process the emotion of fear." He explained as his head was still f.u.c.k.e.d up from the kaleidoscope at the time.

"Still, even now that you're able to. You aren't afraid of me." She pointed out. "Yet you still ran away." she muttered at the end

"That's an obvious response to someone trying to trap them." He retorted "I like being free to do whatever, it's just who I am." as in he refused to be stuck in a cage as a soul for eternity. Even if it was a nice cage!

"So what do you plan on doing about the Three Goddess alliance?" she changed the subject "Gorgon will never make peace with humans."

"I'm pretty tough, I can take her" More like he would let Ana deal with her.

"I don't know much about the goddess of the jungle. Our cultures are different so I don't know what is good and evil in her eyes." she continued

"I'll think of something when I meet her." He honestly didn't know what to do about Quetzalcoatl

"And the third goddess... is obviously me. I won't explain why I originally joined since you should know me well enough to know why by now." she said as she leaned against him

"Hey Hessian. What will you do about me? You know, I wouldn't mind going against the alliance if you agreed to give me your soul." she gently spoke

"I obviously won't agree to that. But I'll still get you on our side." He said as he hugged her "I know you well enough that I won't hold back and do everything in my power to beat you. Then force you on our side so just wait!" he declared

"That's a weird way to reject someone"

"Sorry, you should know that I'm terrible at relationsh.i.p.s."

The two stayed that way until the sun came up.