Hessian Does A Thing

WARNING: THE AUTHOR HAS NEVER WATCHED THE ANIME DANMACHI AND THE ONLY THING HE KNOWS ABOUT IT ARE FROM OTHER FANFICS AND WATCHING SCENES ON YOUTUBE. PLEASE IGNORE ANY PLOTHOLES FROM THIS POINT ON FOR THIS ARC. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

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Hessian POV

I take a moment to chill on the couch while listening to the rapid, yet soft sounds of shifting paper in the background. Momo has finally accepted the fact that the baddass ex-captain Aizen Sosuke betrayed her. Of course she's not completely fine yet, so lately she's thrown herself into doing the paperwork religiously. Something about taking her mind off the trauma I suppose. Works for me since I can just sit back and relax, while my own talented and hardworking assistant does the work.

"Momo, what's the pile over there?" I ask, noticing a small pile of paper on the corner of my desk.

"Those are letters specifically addressed to you Captain." she responded without looking up from her current task.

I get letters? Who the hell would send letters to me? I think to myself as I check out the pile. Let's see, drug and poison analysis from Kurotsuchi related to our last conversation, A letter of challenge from Kenpachi written by Yumichika, A formal warning from Unohana that if I were to sneak into her barracks again then she would behead me on the spot. Pfft, like she can catch me.

Well, I think I've been here long enough. My squad is running pretty smoothly since most of the people in squad 5 are pretty damn competent. Especially with Hinamori working again, although Unohana has told me to let her get more rest. Eh... she's a big girl, she can take care of her health. I think it's time to go do something again.

"Momo, I'm heading out. If someone asks, then tell them to leave a message." I call out to her with a stretch

"Hold on just a moment, Captain." She actually got up from her desk. She took out a parcel for me. "Captain Ukitake said that they would contact you with that, should your presence be required." she informed.

I open it to see the Shinigami badge that he gave to Ichigo. Oh? Dude thinks he can spy on me? I honestly don't care much. I'm used to people spying on me, like the R.O.B, Zelretch and readers. However as I examine the design, I can tell it wouldn't work if I went to another reality. I make some personal tweaks while removing the spying features from it. I gotta say it's a pretty simple but effective design.

"Thanks Momo, also take it easy. If you passed out from overworking, Unohana might actually kill me." I tell her before jumping through a portal.

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From the portal in the air, Hessian dropped down in a superhero landing pose, because why not? He didn't actually plan for going anywhere, he just opened a portal to a random destination. He took a look around and found himself in the middle of a grassy field. The only landmark he could find besides the forest was something that looked similar to a town or city in the distance.

He casually made his way towards the city as he felt out the world around him. The density of magical energy was higher than when he was in the nasuverse. Not by too much, but it made a small difference. He wondered where he actually was, until he stopped to ask a random passerby. The city he was headed towards was named Orario. Which meant that he was in Danmachi. Now that isn't bad, due to the fact that he's not in any danger.

But the problem is that he had never actually watched Danmachi. All his information about it was second-hand from fanfics and some scenes and OSTs from youtube. Other than that, he didn't know much else. Would that stop him from doing things? Nope.

He continued walking through the giant entrance of Orario, ignoring the person attempting to spy on his soul, from the tower in the distance. If the person wants to have a peak at his soul, then who is he to deny their efforts?

Within the tall tower, a woman was completely entranced at the sight of the newcomer to Orario. She was unable to peel her eyes from the multi-colored soul that continued to change like a kaleidoscope. The longer she looked at it, the more she felt that she needed to look away. She began to sweat as her mind continued to process the myriad colors of the soul that showed her the infinite. Her emotions changed from admiration to confusion to absolute terror as she could not stop looking. With a loud scream that echoed across the labyrinth city, the goddess Freya was reduced into a mumbling mess on the floor.

"FREYA-SAMA!" her aid that went by the name Ottar, came to her side as he noticed her condition.

However no matter what Ottar did, his goddess would not stop mumbling incoherently as her pupils continued to tremble. Luckily the goddess didn't spy on the young magician's soul for too long, or else she would be stuck like that till death. It would be a week before the goddess Freya recovered.

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Heh, that's why you shouldn't spy on other people's souls. You never know what you'll find. Unless you're a magus. In which case go nuts with soul dissections and screw the consequences.

Speaking of dissections, I stood to the side and examined the people walking on the street. Some of them have a different feel to them, I'm guessing they're adventurers. This feeling... It's faint but it reminds me of divinity. It's an incredibly small amount, so I'm guessing it's coming from the falnas that their gods gave them.

The researcher in me is telling me that I NEED to know how it works. My dissection boner is DEMANDING it. However the morality side of me is telling me, not to just pick up some random guy off the street. I need to think, who were assholes in this universe again? I look at an alleyway to the side and notice some guys extorting a random dude. Soma familia? Oh right, they were generally assholes in the fanfics. Well this is convenient!

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HOURS LATER

Within a dark room, a single light flashed on as the member of the Soma familia woke up. He was just taking some protection fees from the newbie, next thing he knows everything went dark! His eyes adjusted to the dark room illuminated by a single lamp. His limbs were bound and strapped to the table, his mouth was gagged so he couldn't yell for help. From the shadows of the room, his danger senses made themselves aware as a gray haired man with a surgical mask appeared.

"Shhh." he shushed his muffled m.o.a.ns of fear. "Relax, I'm not gonna kill ya." Hessian placated

"I'm just interested on how you tick is all." He gave a disarming yet frightening smile to the adventurer. "Don't worry, this will be all over soon. I'll even record it so it'll be like a nice memory for both of us." Hessian turned on a recorder at the corner of the room

"MMMMMHPPPH!!" The adventurer tried his hardest to escape from his binds, to no avail. Hessian just looked at the squirming man with analytical eyes. As if he was even making note of the way he struggled.

"I've found that dissection on subjects that are awake, give more interesting data than when they are asleep." Hessian explained to the man as his m.o.a.ns of fear rose in volume "So, I generally always start with them awake." he said as a table of tools appeared next to him. Hessian ignored the mans muffled screams as he prepared to make the first cut.

"Hey! Dinner's ready! Are you done yet?" a feminine voice called from the door. Hessian turned around as Eresh popped her head through the crack of the door.

"Babe, I'm doing research here!" Hessian responded exasperated at the ruined moment

"Well hurry up before the food gets cold!" She said before closing the door on the two.

"Well, I guess I have to rush this after all" Hessian sighed as he looked down to his still trembling subject.

"Don't worry though, I'm a professional" Hessian continued to give a disarming smile as he made the first incision. He's a professional, so he knows how to keep his subjects alive. He's not a bad guy, he'll let him go. He only cares about the data!

"MMMMMMMMMHHHHHHHPPPHH!!!!"