Hessian Does A Thing

"Why? Why would you do this!?"

A woman sobbed on the floor as she cradled the body of someone close to her. Next to her, a man with long white hair stared down at her expressionlessly. However, if one were to look closely. You could make out the sight of his red eyes twitching ever so slightly. The single edged blade in his hand trembled, but stilled itself after a moment.

The swordsman raised his blade above the crying maiden, tears welled up in his eyes as he brought his blade down.

"F.U.C.K!" Hessian woke up in a cold sweat. His palms covered his face as he breathed a bit heavily. Eventually he wiped the sweat off his face.

"This is getting real annoying." he sighed as this had been happening a lot lately.

∞

"Captain Hessian, what are you doing?" Vice-Captain Hinamori asked as she blankly looked at her captain.

"I am not Captain Hessian! I am Professor Aversis!" The young magician declared with maniacal laughter. "And this! Is my latest invention! THE WALL-E!" he presented as he blatantly ripped off another franchise.

"Captain Hessian, you can't just blow off your meeting with the other Captains." she scolded

"But those meetings are so damn boring, plus it's basically the same thing every time." Hessian rolled his eyes and complained

The little robot began to move around, disposing of the trash in the room.

"Oh, it actually worked this time." He commented

"He is kind of cute, but why did you build a robot?" Hinamori asked as she watched the little robot do cleanings.

"Oh, well apparently Chibi Nobu has vacation days. So WALL-E is here to fill in the void until Chibi Nobu is back." Hessian explained with a nod. "Wonder where it went for vacation." He wondered

AT SOME LOCATION IN THE LIVING WORLD

"NOOOOBUUUUUUU!" Chibi Nobu rode a tank as it's army of other different Chibi Nobus turned the area into a warzone.

"CALL THE MILITARY!" a civilian cried out

"OH GOD, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN US!?" a bloodied man roared to the heavens.

"NOOOBUUUUU!"

BACK WITH HESSIAN

"Maybe it went to a resort in Hawaii. Speaking of which, I haven't had a vacation in awhile" Hessian said as he prepared to leave.

"Not so fast Captain! There are still forms that specifically require your approval. And there are some other tasks that have been left to you." His Vice-Captain began informing him of everything he was required to do while he was still here.

"Hmm, I see. I've decided! Vice-Captain Hinamori Momo! I am now promoting you to Captain! Congratulations!" Hessian declared as he tried to shove his haori on the girl

"Captain, please take this seriously!" she cried out

∞

Hessian POV

"Roar! Zabimaru!" Renji appeared in the air and released his shikai against Byakuya's sword.

Byakuya flash stepped behind his vice-captain and confronted him with his blade.

"Scatter, Senbonzakura." I examined the spar between the two combatants as I drank Sake with Kyoraku.

I got invited to watch these two spar. Not sure what the big deal is, but watching some action while drinking is a chill way to pass the time. Hmm, you know I always wondered if I should have tried copying another person's Zanpakuto. But I get the feeling Nanashi wouldn't like that.

"Vice-Captain!" someone from the crowd shouted in worry as Renji was forced back by the blade petals.

"Bankai!" The sky erupted in a red explosion, woops nearly spilled my drink there from the shockwave.

"Hihio Zabimaru!" Renji dropped down with his Bankai screeching in the air. It's like a godamn giant bone snake.

"You go Lieutenant!"

"You got this!"

"I have money on you!"

Heh, I have bets on this fight. I put my money on the Captain of course. Sorry Renji, but people are Captains for a reason.

"You haven't forgotten, have you?" I glance to see Byakuya dropping his sword to the ground. "I've already defeated your bankai once." Which is why I bet on you!

"You're slow bankai has no defense against it." he stated it as fact

'Hear my voice' I widen my eyes as my senses picked up a spiritual frequency. People normally wouldn't be able to hear that, I was able to due to being in tune with reality.

I noticed some of Byakuya's petals cut his wrist guard. His eyes seemed to widen for a moment in surprise. This is interesting, what was that voice? The captain seemed to have ignored that odd moment as he supressed Renji with his Bankai.

"Hikotsu Taiho!" the giant baboon snake ignored the petals and opted to just blast Byakuya with an energy shot.

The match ended, leaving me curious about what just happened. Shit, if this is a filler I might be screwed. I sort of skipped some filler arcs, so I may need to go rewatch bleach episodes that were skipped. But more importantly, I LOST THE BET! DAMNIT!

"Captain? Is something wrong?" Renji asked his captain in concern when he noticed Byakuya was being oddly silent.

"No..." he turned and left with his thoughts.

∞

Hessian had decided to return to his office to rewatch some skipped bleach episodes. He knew what each filler was generally about since he watched some scenes on youtube. But he never completely watched them through.

The voice that came from that spiritual frequency piqued his interest. It was filled with a slight hypnotic effect, although it didn't seem to be complete mind control. More of a small suggestion, he wouldn't know more without proper research.

"Hmm? Momo, something bothering you?" Hessian asked as he noticed his Lieutenant with a troubled expression.

"Oh... no it's nothing Captain." she replied in a way that made him give her a look

"Really!"

"Momo, you know as your Captain I have to look out for your well being. Even if I don't feel like it. So just spit out what's wrong." Hessian didn't feel like getting an earful from Unohana again.

"It's just... Tobiume hasn't been responding to me lately." she told the truth as Hessian's expression seemed to change

"Sword rebellion." Hessian muttered as he decided on which filler to watch.

"Ah! A Hell Butterfly!" He turned his attention to the butterfly that was used as a way to communicate to others in Soul Society.

"The Head-Captain announced an urgent summon for all Captains and Lieutenants to meet at Sokyoku hill." Hinamori spoke as she revealed the message

"Alright, let's see what the old man's calling about then." Hessian had a bad feeling about this. He'll watch the missed episodes later.

∞

Hessian POV

"Oi, Kyoraku. What's up with the old man's message?" I asked him the moment I got to the designated meeting area.

"I'm not sure, I wasn't informed of anything either." He shook his head "However, I have a bad feeling about this."

"Same." I shook my head in agreement. It's night and there's even a bit of fog in the area. It's practically asking to give someone a proper dramatic entrance.

I waited as our group of Captains and Vice-captains spent time wondering what the Head-Captain called us out for. Then I heard it, the sound of rope being tightened. I looked over to the bridge and saw the Vice-Captain who's name I couldn't remember. He was just so unremarkable of a character that I literally can't remember who he is!

"Lieutenant Sasakibe, What's going on?" Oh! that was his name! "Where's the Head-Captain?" Kira asked as I attempted to commit the unremarkable man's name to memory.

"Ugggh" Sasakibe dropped to the ground the next moment. Oh shit, well that's a bad sign.

"Stay alert for the slightest presence" Soi Fon said as everyone else readied their blades.

"Hmmph" I heard a scoff from behind us. This man, he looks like a guy from the arc I skipped. "The Head-Captain isn't coming."

"Dear lord, why are your finger-nails so long!" I blurted out, his finger nails are so unimaginably long. Dude, go to a nail salon or something! Actually just grab some scissors!

"Who the hell are you?" Hitsugaya questioned as 3 Lieutenants appeared before him.

The man with oversized fingernails smirked when Captain Sajin Komamura appeared before him.

"You said the Head-Captain isn't coming?" He narrowed his bestial eyes. "What did you do to Sir Genryusai?!" He noticed the man wasn't responding so he slashed towards him.

The odd man backflipped in the air and stuck out his palm. By the root those finger-nails look even creepier now. I noticed it, the same frequency from before came from him!

"Bankai! Kokujo Tengen Myo-oh!" the collosal warrior shifted into existence behind the Captain.

I noticed something odd as he was about to attack. I widened my eyes as I shouted

"SAJIN, HOLD UP!" His own Bankai slammed it's collosal blade towards him.

"C-captain!"

"What just happened?!"

"A Zanpakuto just attacked it's own master?!"

The Captain stood up in pain. The collosal warrior shifted into a different appearance.

"W-Who are you?" he asked but widened his eyes in the next moment. "Tenken!?" The sword spirit smacked his former master to the ground

"Reign upon the Frozen Heavens, Hyorinmaru!"

"Sting all enemies to death! Suzemebachi!"

Their swords didn't change, which means they failed to release their Shikai. The others also attempted to release their Zanpakutos but ended in failure. I get it now, that frequency earlier was a slight suggestion to make the Sword spirits leave their Masters on their own accord. While there is indeed a bit of brainwashing, it mainly strengthened a d.e.s.i.r.e that each spirit already had. Lucky for me, Nanashi wouldn't succ.u.mb to weak suggestions.

"What's going on? I don't feel any spiritual energy in my Zanpakuto!"

"Why... Tobiume?"

"Wabisuke?"

"Indeed, the spiritual pressure is gone. What's the meaning of this?" Kurotsuchi seemed more intrigued than worried. Honestly I'm pretty damn intrigued too, could I get an explanation?

"It's simple, you are no longer one with your Zanpakuto." The odd man stated. Now that I look closely, he's giving the same feeling as a Sword Spirit.

As if they prepared for it, a bunch of other Zanpakuto spirits appeared behind the man.

"The Zanpakuto manifested itself!?"

"Impossible!"

A few more spirits manifested themselves from their owners and walked towards the other side.

"Well, I'm just gonna save myself the trouble and deal with this now." I said as I released Nanashi. The overbearing Will descended on those present. Myriad resplendent blades manifested above me as I prepared to rain light. "Rain." I commanded

*BOOM*

I lifted my arm up to find myself injured. Turning my gaze towards the other side, I couldn't help but narrow my eyes.

"Nanashi... the f.u.c.k?!" Nanashi stared back at me with that same blank expression. He should be too powerful to be affected by a suggestion of that level. Which means.....

He left me of his own will.