Hiatus Gifting This Unfortunate Guy With Blessings

If someone does something regularly and then one day finds a better or faster way to do it, it's almost impossible to go back to doing it the old way.

"Let's go to Wiz's."

Well, I couldn't blame Megumin for wanting to use the shortcut to function normally again without waiting for half a day and I also wanted to get another lecture on magic today as well so I readily agreed.

I just hoped that using Drain Touch to recharge Megumin wasn't bothering Wiz. I thought that mana was pretty important for a Lich. Was it okay to constantly ask for some?

After purchasing some food, we arrived at Wiz's shop and to our surprise, the sign on the front door was clearly stating 'CLOSED'.

"Maybe she forgot to change it?"

Megumin questioned since Wiz has clearly stated a few times already that she was almost always open besides nighttime and when she was working her second job - ferrying souls to the afterlife.

Thinking that Megumin might have been right I've decided to try opening a door and it was indeed unlocked. I peeked my head inside and gave out a shout:

"Hey Wiz, are you here?"

Wiz hasn't responded but I caught a glimpse of something protruding behind the counter on the floor level. Curiosity took over the thought that it was rude to come in without an invitation and I stepped in to investigate.

"She left the shop open?"

Megumin asked, not noticing what I had. But as I neared the counter she was the one to exclaim first.

"Wiz-san?!"

There she was. Laying sprawled out on the floor right in front of the door to the backroom.

Unmoving. Unbreathing.

"Hey, what's wrong!?"

I quickly set Megumin down on the floor and crouched near Wiz's head to check if she really was not breathing. To my dismay, I was right about that.

I froze momentarily, panicked, not sure what to do next.

I had some classes about emergency first aid in middle school and according to them, I should immediately try conducting CPR routine, starting with c.h.e.s.t compressions. But I also had to inform someone else to bring help and I couldn't count on Megumin doing that since she was unable to move by herself.

Damn! I was thinking of my old world procedures! I was currently in a magic shop! Weren't there any healing potions around?

...

I then remembered Wiz's actual repertoire of potions and quickly decided to stick to what I knew.

Following the notion that 'Immediate commencement of CPR action can increase the injured's rate of survival 3 times' I arranged my hands in the center of Wiz's c.h.e.s.t and started pushing, preparing my lungs to shout for help from people outside of the shop.

"K-Kazuki?"

Suddenly Wiz has opened her eyes and an expression of pure incomprehension appeared on her face. I, on the other hand, jumped up in the spot, surprised by the sudden action from someone I considered completely passed out.

"Wiz-san, are you okay?"

Megumin asked and I landed on my b.u.t.t while Wiz weakly propped herself up to the sitting position.

"You weren't breathing!-" Was the only sentence my brain managed to dish out at that moment.

Wiz seemed confused for a second but then she answered with a small smile:

"I am undead. I don't need to breathe."

…

"Why were you laying on the floor like that though?"

Hearing that question Wiz curled up a bit and after a few seconds of thinking, she started talking.

"I was asked by an acquaintance of mine to help with ferrying dead last night. The cemetery got cordoned off like usual and I started doing my job. Everything was going smoothly but in the middle of the night, I've heard it. I didn't know what that sound was until SHE appeared from behind a tombstone. And then I realized that it was laughter that I was hearing. Mad laughter."

It sounded like a legitimate horror story people would share by a campfire during a camping trip. But seeing an undead Lich being scared of something made my skin crawl. I could hear Megumin swallowing when Wiz made a short pause in her story.

"I immediately said 'The cemetery is closed for the entire day. There are signs all over the entrance. Please leave!' But that blue-haired only started laughing even more! She shouted something about 'EXP' and started casting very powerful exorcism spells in quick succession."

Megumin and I looked at each other suddenly understanding something.

"She wasn't listening to me at all! I tried explaining who I was and what I was doing but all I received back were even more exorcism spells. Thankfully I managed to use Teleport before I was done for… I can't die yet. I still have a promise to fulfill."

Wiz finished her sentence with an unexpected confession made in an unnaturally serious tone. However, she finished the story with a much less solemn voice.

"After that, I had managed to get inside my shop and passed out on the spot because of the damage I took. And then you woke me up."

Although she didn't look hurt at first glance, I could somehow sense that she was much weaker than usual.

Wiz started to scramble up to her feet and almost fell down but thankfully I was already standing and managed to assist her in time.

"I need to run before she finds me again! Next time I will be exorcised for sure. It wasn't the first time I was attacked by a zealous priest but her spells were on an entirely different level!-"

Seeing panicked Wiz trying to search for things to grab before running away I quickly said.

"I am sorry, Wiz."

She stopped moving in confusion.

"It was probably our berserker-of-an-archpriest teammate that has attacked you."

"Aqua…"

Megumin added with an exasperated sigh. She probably would have hidden her face with both hands in an expression of embarrassment if she could move.

"Really?! I don't have to move?"

After I have nodded my head she quickly found a chair and plopped down on it. I didn't know if she just trusted my words so much or if she was that gullible but she has calmed down immensely.

I picked up Megumin and put her on a proper chair as well. Wiz looked like she could use some energy so I also handed out the food I've bought on the way.

"Are you sure, you are okay?"

I asked after a few minutes.

"Yes. I just need to get some mana. With two or three days of rest, I will be back to normal."

"Can't you use your Drain Touch to take some mana from me?" Megumin proposed, still clearly worried about Wiz.

"Or take it from my Crimson Demon form. I have plenty I don't use for anything yet."

Wiz released a happy smile but then shook her head.

"As you know, I can share my mana with someone using Drain Touch. It is 100% safe. But if I were to take mana from one of you it would be considered as an attack. Each Lich's attack has a possibility to trigger a random effect. Those effects can range from a low curse that would make you unable to smell anything for a period of time to total petrification or instant death depending on your luck."

"..." x2

Liches are scary!

"Hey!" "Whoops."

Shaken by this news I accidentally dropped some food onto Megumin's leg.

"Anyways, don't worry. As long as that girl doesn't attack me anymore it should be okay."

"I'll make sure she won't."

Wiz seemed content after hearing that.

After we finished eating the food I decided to leave quickly to search for the blue-haired wrongdoer. After taking Megumin to her home I immediately took the investigation to the skies by turning into my owl form.

I flew around for half an hour scanning the streets for the characteristic blue hairdo but with no luck. I checked out all cemeteries as well in case Aqua was still trying to get EXP by herself although I was unsure if the undead could wander around in the daylight as well.

Around a one hour mark, I decided to check the Guild since it was dinner time and if Aqua wasn't there I could tell Kazuma what was going on.

But as I got near the building I started to hear a lot of noise coming from within. Something was going on.

After opening the door I was greeted with a sight of a clone apocalypse.

Over three-dozen middle-aged guys dressed in identical priest-like robes. They were all bald to boot as well.

'Are they monks? What are monks doing in the adventurers guild?'

When the initial shock passed I looked in the same direction the angry mob was looking at and saw a wall created by few adventurers and guild workers and also two people standing behind that wall.

Kazuma and Aqua were behind the defensive formation and were currently shouting at each other.

"Uh-oh…"

"We want a recompensation!" "She took our jobs!" "Shameless!"

The crowd was shouting angrily while the most important looking priest - basically the guy with the shiniest head - was talking with Shari-san.

I couldn't hear them or come closer because of the sea of bald heads so I transformed into my mouse form and skidded between legs until I was even behind the adventurer wall. With everyone else distracted only Kazuma and Aqua noticed my sudden appearance after I transformed back into my human form.

(A/N: Sorry about the late AND short chapter. It was supposed to be at least 1k more words long but my mom suddenly fell ill and I had to drive her around the doctors' offices. That took only until dinner time so I expected to be able to write a normal but late chapter but my cousin unexpectedly showed up together with a whole family and with my mom out of the business I have to take care of their needs…)