Him And Her - An Odd Story

HIM – MORNING WAYS

After escorting the half-asleep Emma and Jared out, Tyson went back to the room and found Aya still blissfully asleep. He grinned unconsciously but didn't wake her just yet, going to the kitchen and setting pot for some coffee. As he thought back to the last night, his cheeks suddenly flushed red as he lowered his head.

"… Ty?" her faint call jolted him back to reality as he went back into the room; Aya was currently in the process of stretching and yawning, her eyes still half-closed, slight trace of drool on the corner of her lips. Too cute!! Too freaking cute!! "What time is it?" she asked.

"Almost 8." Tyson said. "You slept well?"

"You really ought to put on some muscle," she said. "Your ribs kept poking my head."

"… didn't you hear me say it's not even 8 yet?! How the hell do you have that much energy already?!"

"Look who's the one shouting."

"Humph, no coffee for you."

"Can you at least point me to the toilet? Or would you like me to mark your bedroom with my piss?"

"Right next to the entrance, please." Tyson pointed to the right as Aya got up while he returned and prepared two cups. By the time the coffee was ready, Aya had already returned and sat down, turning on the TV.

"When did Emma and Jared leave?" she asked as Tyson gave her a still warm cup.

"Just before you woke up." he said. "Ugh, my head is already killing me. I drank way too much last night."

"I have some aspirin in my purse if you want." Aya said.

"Sure." she stretched over and took a pill from her purse, handing it over. "Thanks."

"Ah!"

"What?"

"Damn, I missed a chance to wake up before you."

"… please don't tell me the reason is as dumb as I'm imagining."

"I could have seen you pitching a tent."

"Yup, the reason is as dumb as I'm imagining." Tyson said, getting up for a glass of water. "It's all well and good, though. I got to see your sleeping face. I nearly got diabetes."

"Why 'nearly'? That's disappointing."

"You're really grumpy in the morning, huh?" Tyson said as he sat back down next to her, taking a sip of coffee.

"Mornings are meant to be slept through," she grunted. "Not to wake up during."

"… wow, you really hate mornings."

"Not as much as I hate you."

"But you like me."

"A slip of the tongue." she said.

"It slipped twice. You ought to do something about it."

"It's a reflex; whenever I see your pitiful face, I feel like getting your hopes up."

"For the second date," Tyson said. "I was thinking of going to a pool."

"You already felt everything," Aya said, smirking as she turned toward him. "Do you want to see them that badly?"

"… as much as your body inspires me to write shitty poems," Tyson said. "I'm serious about the pool. The indoor one, though. It's been awhile since I went swimming."

"Fine," Aya said. "I'll pick a cute swimsuit."

"Do you even know what cute means?"

"I just need to look in the mirror, apparently."

"You're good to go then." Tyson said.

"If you want you can tag along," she said, smiling. "You're guaranteed to have the time of your life."

"Deal."

"Wow, that was quick."

"There are only three times a man is happy to go shopping with his girlfriend:" Tyson said, his expression growing serious. "First is when she's buying a swimsuit. You guys usually try everything in the shop, and it turns into fanservice heaven in there. Second, when they're moving in together and looking for a place to settle. Third, when they're picking the tombstones."

"… wow, that went from cute to morbid faster than you get it up."

"What's morbid about it? It's romantic."

"You and I clearly have different definitions of romantic."

"Ah, right, is your mom okay with staying over?" Tyson asked.

"Yeah, I told her already," Aya said. "She also told me swinging is okay only if drugs are involved."

"No she didn't."

"… at least bother trusting for a second."

"Your mom's a decent human being, don't go sullying her."

"Aren't guys supposed to hate mothers-in-law?"

"That's only when they grow old and bitter," Tyson explained. "Usually we just fantasize—you know what? Nevermind."

"That's sick."

"You have to say it better," Tyson said. "Like, that's sick bruh."

"If you ever imagine my mom n.a.k.e.d, we're breaking up."

"…"

"You already have, huh?"

"It's instinctual reaction. You see a woman. Whoops, look, she's suddenly n.a.k.e.d. Weird, right?"

"… why the hell am I dating you?" Aya sighed, taking a sip of the coffee.

"You said it's because I'm cute when I blush."

"No I haven't."

"You thought it."

"No I didn't."

"Then why the hell are you dating me?"

"Probably 'cause I like you," Aya said. "Can't think of anything else."

"Y-yeah, that'll do it…" Tyson said, his cheeks beet red.

"And, yeah, you're cute when you blush." she said, smirking.

"… khm, what do you wanna eat?" Tyson asked as he finished his cup.

"You gonna cook for me?"

"Cook? Ha ha, funny. Fried bacon, canned tuna, probably expired beef jerky. Choose."

"I. Choose. You." Aya said, smiling. "Go, Ty!"

"… right, salted water it is."

"Aww, how mean. At least make it salted bread."

"I don't have bread."

"… no wonder your ribs stick out when you lie down."

"My ribs are perfectly fine, thank you."

"I'd have them rare." Aya said.

"… who the f.u.c.k eats ribs rare?! Are you nuts?"

"Eeh, why not?" Aya said, pouting lightly before she smiled. "I eat other parts raw, though." … wait, hold back!! Hold back!!

"… that was, uh…"

"Ha ha ha, you should really start using makeup to cover up those cheeks of yours, ha ha ha…" Aya fell down onto the couch in the bout of laughter.

"… ha, ha, funny. How the hell am I supposed to react to that?! Oh, yeah, I like eating raw things too?"

"You do? Eww."

"… forget water. You're getting only salt."

"Do you even have salt?"

"No."

"… then you're saying you're gonna let me go hungry?"

"…"

"Aah, sit down, I'll make us something," Aya said, pulling him back onto the couch as she got up. "Considering it a prize for your reactions."

"… I'd rather not. Can I just consider it a breakfast made by my girlfriend?" Tyson asked as Aya walked toward the kitchen.

"That's boring."

"Boring is good."

"Boo~~"

"…"

HER – SELF-CONTROL

I never change, huh? Aya thought as she rummaged through the fridge and the cupboards, trying to figure out what to make for breakfast. Where the hell do I even get the courage to say those things?!! I was never like this before… after finally deciding on the breakfast, she began slowly making it as her thoughts spiraled.

"You burned the kitchen yet?" Tyson appeared next to her, startling her. "Oi, don't jump, you'll burn yourself!" he exclaimed as he grabbed her hand and held it down.

"Did you train to become a ninja?! No?! Then why the hell are you sneaking around?!"

"… I literally called you ten times before coming here." Tyson said.

"… ah. Right. Sorry. Went into a dreamland for a moment."

"…"

"What's wrong?" Aya asked as she noticed Tyson's shocked face.

"W-what's wrong?! You apologized!"

"So?"

"You never apologize!"

"I do?"

"When?!"

"Everyday. To my mom."

"… aah, give me back my sweet victory." Tyson said.

"He he, just wait for a moment," Aya chuckled as she pushed him out. "It'll be ready."

A few minutes later, Aya was standing while Tyson was sitting, his lips and eyebrows twitching as he stared at the plate in front of him.

"… what is this?" he asked.

"Fried bacon with eggs." Aya said.

"… why is it black?"

"Uh, it's my way of making it."

"… why is it as hard as a rock?"

"Brings out crunchiness."

"Yeah, of my teeth!!" Tyson exclaimed.

"…"

"You've never cooked before in your life, have you?"

"Nope. Tehe."

"Don't 'tehe' me!! This could have lasted me three days!"

"Aren't you gonna eat it though?" Aya asked. "Guys in manga always eat the food their girlfriends make, no matter how bad it is."

"… if you want to murder me, there are gentler ways of going about it."

"I'm just showing you my love with my cooking! How mean!"

"Yeah, and your love is black, burned and deadly!"

"Sounds about right."

"At least bother denying it!"

"I'm an honest person," Aya said innocently. "I can't lie. So, are you gonna eat it?"

"Of course not!! How the hell would I even eat it?! Cut open my stomach and stuff it in there raw and hope for the best?"

"It would get too messy that way. I don't wanna clean up."

"Ugh, let's just go out and eat before lectures," Tyson said, sighing. "If nothing, I, uh, appreciate the effort, I guess?"

"… aah, sorry," Aya said, sighing as she slumped next to him. "I'll pay you back."

"It's fine," Tyson said, his expression mellowing. "Just buy me a cake or something."

"Will do. How's the headache?"

"… you should have taken that into consideration before making me the breakfast from hell."

"What's your head got to do with your intestines?" Aya asked.

"It's all linked, don't you know? You stab your toe, bam, your left shoulder suddenly hurts!"

"… you should probably go see a doctor," she said. "That sounds serious."

"Nah, I'll just go visit this shaman of mine."

"Can I ask you something?" Aya said as she leaned her head onto his shoulder.

"Hm?"

"If you could become any animal – fictional or real – what would it be?" she asked.

"That's random." Tyson mumbled as he thought for a second. "Do humanoid animals count?"

"Hm? Sure, I guess."

"Then a vampire."

"… ugh, you're really stretching it." she grunted. "Why?"

"Eternal life, of course!" Tyson exclaimed. "And, then I'd bite you, and you'd have to join me in eternal melancholy. Sounds like a bestseller, right?"

"I'd just eat garlic instead." Aya said.

"And leave me all alone in the world? How cruel!"

"Hey, you wanted eternal life. I never said I did."

"So, what animal would you wanna be?" Tyson asked.

"Phoenix, probably."

"Because they're beautiful?"

"Hey!" Aya elbowed him gently as the two chuckled for a moment. "Because they're birds… but also cool at the same time."

"No wonder birds start chirping before sun even appears on the sky," Tyson said. "They're pissed off at us because we say shit like that. Ah, sudden self-realization!"

"What?"

"You're constantly pissing me off!" Tyson said. "And I always end up shouting fl.u.s.tered when around you! I must be a bird!"

"Are you trying to reenact that shitty scene from The Notebook? 'Cause, believe me, that's not happening."

"Tsk. And I even set the mood and all."

"I don't see any ocean. Or me in red bikini. Or you being Ryan Gosling."

"You'd look good in red bikini."

"Hm? Really? I might just buy one, then." Aya said.

"… uh, not before trying at least thirty others, right?"

"… ha ha, fine, fine," Aya laughed, burying her head into his c.h.e.s.t. "I'll let you feast your eyes for a while."

"Now that sounds like a trip worth waiting for."

"Wow, your heart is beating really fast…" she mumbled as she put the palm of her hand at his c.h.e.s.t.

"… yeah, I was hoping you wouldn't notice that," Tyson said in a low tone, looking sideways. "But, oh well."

"I'd show you mine's the same," Aya said. "But you'd probably only end up groping me."

"Yep, that sounds like me."

"… aah, there go my plans to take a shower."

"Please do. I won't peak."

"Right. And I'm Saint Maria."

"You can be that, if you believe hard enough." Tyson said.

"You go take one, you stink," Aya said as she got up. "Then you'll accompany me back to my place and wait like a good little dog you are."

"… oi, wasn't I a robot? Please let me be a robot!"

"Robots don't stink like stale milk."

"Neither do the dogs! Wait, I don't stink like a stale milk, what the hell are you talking about?!"

"… just go take a shower," Aya said, smiling lightly. Aah, that was close… self-control, employ self-control… "I'll clean the place up."

"… thanks."

"No problem. It's to repay you for nearly killing you with the breakfast."

"Oi, didn't you promise to buy me a cake instead?!"

"Isn't it much hotter seeing your girlfriend fix your place up, though?"

"… I wouldn't know."

"Wow, that's the most depressing thing you've said in a while."

"… I'll just go take a shower."

"Rub one out while you're at it."

"Inspire me."

"Bite me."

"Well, I am a dog." Tyson said, smirking as he headed off to the bathroom. "Be right back."

"Take your time. Rather, stay in there forever."

"… only if you join me."

"I wish I could see your face right now." she said.

"Too late."