Him And Her - An Odd Story

HER – AWKWARD FAMILY

Aya stood fidgeting in front of Tyson's front door, gathering nerves to ring the bell. The Saturday came and so did his sister and she was currently waiting past these doors. It's okay Aya, you've practiced this. Just laugh at whatever she says, say that Ty is the greatest guy in the world, which he is despite the fact that I keep denying it in front of everyone else, say that I'm a lucky girl and everything will be fine.

Taking a deep breath, she finally pressed the bell and waited. A few moments later, the doors opened and Tyson – wearing his usual, casual clothes as though it was just another day – opened the doors.

"… wow, you dolled up." he said, flashing a smile. "You look great."

"Thanks. You look… like you." Aya said.

"Yup. Because it is me."

"Okay, let's not start just yet."

"Great idea," Tyson said, sidestepping slightly. "Come in. Sis and Sam have been grumpy for like half an hour because they're hungry."

"Sam?" Who's Sam?! Her wife?!

"Her husband." Oh. Well, that's confusing. "Come."

"Yeah."

Aya slowly got in and took off her shoes, carefully carrying the cake and a bottle of wine she bought. Noticing them, Tyson merely smirked and said nothing, leading her into the living room. Inside, a man and a woman with slightly bulged belly were sitting next to each other; when the woman noticed her, she stood up as though she had a rocket up her b.u.t.t and bolted over, hugging Aya tightly.

"Wow, it's actually a living, breathing girl!!" she exclaimed. Wait, what?!

"WHAT DID YOU THINK SHE WAS?! AN ALIE—yeah, she's a living, breathing girl." Tyson said.

"It's… it's amazing!" Aya saw tears at the corners of the woman's eyes as the woman kissed her forehead. "Ah, sorry, I must be making you suuuuuper~ uncomfortable." You think?!

"No, not at all!" Aya suddenly exclaimed as her lips spread in a beaming smile.

"… who are you and where did you hide my girlfriend?" Tyson mumbled from the side.

"Shut up, you're irrelevant for the rest of the day." the woman said. "I'm Selena, and this here is my husband – and soon the father of my child – Sam."

"It's great to meet you." Aya said, still smiling. Wow, my cheeks are starting to hurt and we barely began… she shook Sam's hand who smiled back. "How's the baby?"

"Healthy as an oak!" Selena exclaimed, pulling Aya onto the couch and pushing Sam out to the sofa. "Tell me! Everything! How did you two meet? Where did you meet? Who asked whom out? Did you guys kiss? Of course you did, you're not kids! Did you have s.e.x? You glow like you had s.e.x! Wait, no, only Tyson is glowing. Sorry, he must have been spending long, desperate nights reading self-help books and crying through them--"

"Oooookay, so who's ready to eat, huh?!" Tyson interrupted, chuckling nervously.

"Everyone, duh." Selena said. "Shus now. I'm getting to know my new BFF." … well, at least Ty wasn't lying to me when he said she was hyper…

"Right. Okay. Sam, wanna help me?"

"Yup." Sam got up and the two soon left for the kitchen.

"So, tell me! Everything!" Selena immediately piled on after the two left.

"Uh, okay," Aya said, taking a deep breath. "Let's see. We meet at college. I, uh, walked up to him and, uh, called him an idiot. He asked me out first. We did kiss. We did not have s.e.x. He definitely did masturbate because I think I keep teasing him way too much." Selena's face stretched into a shock as she listened to Aya. AH, RIGHT! She's not Ty, filter Aya! Filter!! "Uh, I mean--"

"This is amazing!!" Selena exclaimed.

"Why are you crying?! Are you hurt?!"

"No, no, I'm just so happy!" Selena said as she wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes. "You're just… so… perfect for Ty!"

"Eh?!"

"I mean, he's my brother and all, but that guy can't be honest even if you beat his balls back through his throat!"

"Yup, I can see that." Aya nodded.

"And then there is you. So unreserved with talking about everything even to his very sister. I'm just so happy!" … ah, I forgot she's his sister. His family. Aah, what is wrong with me?

"… uh, I'm glad." Aya said, smiling. "But, he's the great one here."

"Ah, you don't have to bother s.u.c.k.i.n.g up with this girl right here~~" Selena said. "I know my brother. Trust me. And he's one lucky guy."

"That he is."

"Alright. You. Me. Tonight. Tequila shots!"

"… aren't you pregnant?"

"Okay, change of plans!" Selena exclaimed. "You. Me. In about ten months. Tequila shots! What do you say?"

"It's a, uh, date. Sure." Aya said, smiling. "But, seriously, he's really a great guy." Aya said, smiling genuinely for the first time.

"… you really like him, huh," Selena said, smiling as she leaned back. "Good. But, come on, I mean… you're so cute, and he's, well… Ty. For a moment there, I thought it was a marriage scam or something."

"He would be an easy target, yeah. I can see it." Aya said.

"Right? I mean, for all the time he spends pretending to be aloof, he could have actually learned to read people."

"True," Aya said. "Just the other day, we saw a guy who was clearly burning high, yet Ty called him 'wounded, artistic soul'."

"Ha ha ha, that definitely sounds like him!" Selena said, laughing. "Aah, the food is here! Finally. I'm starving."

"You're always starving," Tyson said as him and Sam began putting down the plates. "Only lord knows how you aren't ten times your size."

"Workout, bitch! You should try some." Selena commented.

"I have literally never seen you work out in my entire life." Tyson said.

"Okay, let me help you with that: workout." Selena said, winking.

"… dude. I'm your brother for crying out loud!"

"How do you think this belly got this big, huh? It was definitely Big Mac, but totally different kind!"

"… Sam, dude. Didn't you have dreams about working overseas? Why don't you take your beautiful, plump wife and move over there – forever?" Tyson said. This feels familiar. Ah, Selena's a lot like my mom. Oh god.

"Relax Ty," Sam said, smiling, as he bumped Tyson's back. The two sat down after setting the plates after which Sam opened up Aya's wine bottle, while Selena poured herself a glass of water. "Before we stuff ourselves dead with food that's completely unhealthy for us, here's to family!"

"To family!" the four toasted and dove into the meal immediately afterwards.

"So Sam, how's work? Sis told me you branched out." Tyson asked.

"Yeah, instead of just selling handmade antique dolls, we've expanded the brand to wedding dolls and funeral dolls. It's really taking off." Sam said.

"Wow, your job is literally the creepiest thing in the world." Tyson said. "I still remember accidentally walking into sis' room one time. I'd rather have seen you two doing it than that bundle of… just… utter horror."

"Right, we'll just skip that casual s.e.x comment," Selena said. "So, Aya, what do you wanna do when you graduate?"

"Probably teacher or professor," Aya said. "So that I can tell my students to avoid the topic of wanting to see your sister having s.e.x."

"Good call," Selena said. "He's a very weird little boy. Just a bundle of issues."

"Tell me about it," Aya said, sighing. "Not a day goes by without me thinking 'I don't have any right to fix him, I like him as he is'."

"… well, it feels great to be loved," Tyson said, taking a deep breath. "But, you know, how about we stop talking about, well… me, and talk about something else entirely. Like movies or something. You know, topics that can't hurt anyone."

"Challenge accepted." Aya and Selena exclaimed at the same time.

"It wasn't a challenge!!"

"You dug your own grave dude." Sam said, chuckling lowly as he ate. "Just own up to it."

"What grave?! What f.u.c.k.i.n.g grave?!"

"Hey, Aya, doesn't Ty remind you of a less hot version of De Niro from Taxi Driver?"

"You're right! But, he's also got some Mark from Pi, right?"

"…"

"…" complete silence overtook the room as they looked at her oddly. Pi? What the hell am I doing bringing that up?!

"Uh, sweetie, I think I'm the only other person in the world who's seen that movie," Tyson said. He's seen Pi? Yup, I'll have s.e.x with him tonight. "And I even I don't agree with that."

"… riight," Sam said, coughing lowly to break the awkward silence. "So, Aya, you got any siblings?"

"No, the only kid." Aya said. "By the way, I'm really sorry for the awkwardness. What can I say. I'm just an awkward girl. Awkward. Awkward. Awkward."

"I know that you read online that pointing out the 'awkward moment' alleviates the awkwardness of it," Tyson said. "But it doesn't. Trust me. So you can stop pretending you care for it."

"Oh. Okay. Well, that's dealt with." Aya said calmly.

"Ah, right," Selena said as her tone suddenly grew serious. "Dad asked you if you could come to his birthday party."

"…"

"…" awkward silence immediately fell over as Tyson suddenly put down his spoon and sighed, lowering his head. Wow. Even I'm starting to feel awkward.

"Look, Ty, I know it's… difficult," Selena said as she stretched her hand over and grabbed his. "But, you gotta come back sometime, right? Ignoring them isn't any better."

"Well, I was doing great until you brought it up, so I'm pretty sure you're wrong." Tyson said angrily, yanking his hand out of hers.

"Ty--"

"It's fine," Tyson said, getting up. "Tell dad that, uh, I'll consider it. Well, I'm stuffed. Like an animal. Like a balloon—okay, you get the point. Now, if you'll excuse me, there's a bottle of bourbon somewhere in this shithole waiting to be emptied. Enjoy the diner." he said as he left for his bedroom, leaving behind Aya, Selena and Sam in silence.

"… well, that went better than expected." Selena said.

"It did?" Aya mumbled, looking at her, confused.

"She's right," Sam said. "There are no broken plates, he didn't curse even once and threatened to maul us both to death. You're really getting to him Aya."

"…"

"Look, it's nothing serious," Selena said, smiling lightly. "But, you should probably go and calm him down. Trust me, bourbon does not sit well with his stomach. Sam and I will take off. It was great meeting you."

"Y-yeah, you too…" Aya said, smiling. Right, leave me with a loose psycho looking to get drunk. Wait, it's Ty. The worst he'll do is not blush when he mentions my t.i.t.s. "Great meeting you guys."

"We'll do it properly the next time," Selena said as her and Sam slowly dressed back up. "And I'm holding you onto those tequila shots, okay?"

"Sure. Just hit me up when you're ready." Aya said, smiling.

"Bye."

"Bye." after she escorted the two, she sighed and turned toward the bedroom. "Well Ty, time for me to look at those delicate layers of yours. Ah, it has double meaning!" she exclaimed to herself as she smiled. "I'm really getting the hang of it. Right, less talking crazily to myself, more seeing how Ty's doing."