Him And Her - An Odd Story

HER – AYA AND TY'S ANTICS

Hearing the alarm ring off, Aya grunted in a low tone and slapped her phone till it stopped ringing. Burying her head into a pillow for a moment, she finally pushed herself up, a flash of resolve crossing her eyes before being entirely replaced by tiredness. This bastard, she glanced sideways at the still happily sleeping Tyson. Even though he knew I had to get up early, he still forced me to play that shitty game until almost 3… aah…

Getting up, she quickly went to the kitchen and put a pot of water onto the stove before going into the bathroom to quickly wash up. When she came back, she saw Tyson in his underpants, yawning, as he was making coffee. She smiled lightly as she walked over to the kitchen table and sat down. Although it was already mid-October, the temperatures have yet to drop below 25, causing both of them no small amount of joy. Just the thought of heating bills caused them headaches beyond what a simple pill could cure.

"Your tan's almost gone." Aya said lazily.

"Yours has been gone for nearly a month," Tyson replied, glancing back and smirking. "God I miss those bikini marks."

"Eh, you'll get to see them next year." Aya said, flashing him a mischievous smile. "Why'd you get up?"

"Eh, I felt like being a nice boyfriend for a change," Tyson said, yawning yet again as he brought two cups of steaming coffee to the table, placing one in front of Aya. He then took the remote and turned on the TV for the background noise. "After all, I'm the reason you probably feel like killing yourself right now."

"Aah, it's not fair," Aya sighed, glaring at him lightly. "We're both 3rd years, yet you get to skip some classes because, for some ungodly reason, you're teaching first years. The world is so unfair…"

"He he," Tyson snickered. "Shouldn't you be proud of your boyfriend's achievements? Truth be told, even I was knock-dead shocked when they informed me. Oh well."

"It's kind of hot though," Aya said as she picked up the cup and drank a gulp. "Dating the professor and all."

"… aah, why am I dating such a pervert? Tche…" Tyson said, sighing, a brief smile escaping his lips.

"I've seen your stash. You have no right to call anyone else a pervert."

"YOU'VE SEEN IT?!!" Tyson suddenly exclaimed, startling Aya.

"… no… but holy shit, now I have to see it. What kind of a creepy shit are you watching?!"

"Khm, just, you know, normal stuff. Lesbians. Only B-cup t.i.t.s. You know, standard stuff."

"…" Aya stared at him intently for a moment before sighing. Ah, who gives a shit.

"… khm," Tyson coughed once more, his cheeks slightly reddened. "Wanna go and see a movie tomorrow?"

"… you don't have to pay me off. When I decided to love you, I understood what I was doing." Aya said.

"Did you though?"

"Nope." Aya said without hesitation, expressionless.

"Ha! Then my 'play the mysterious persona to mystify her into being mesmerized by my absolute mysteriousness' plan completely worked!"

"You're as mystifying as the plot to Village." Aya replied, still expressionless.

"… you did that on purpose, didn't you?"

"Who told you to like a shitty movie? You get what you deserved."

"Says a girl who rated f.u.c.k.i.n.g Attack on Titan with 10. I hope they come and swallow you whole. At least someone would be doing the swallowing for a change."

"Oi!! It's an amazing show, you heartless f.u.c.ker!! You're the only person that I know of that didn't at least sob for a bit in the first episode!! And what do you mean swallow?! F.u.c.k you! I have to beg you to go down on me, you selfish f.u.c.k!"

"Who is heartless, you shit?! During the entire Fountain, you just snickered like a cold-hearted bitch and called me a long-trodden-p.u.s.s.y! What do you mean you have to beg me?! Why the hell would I even go down on you?! By the time you're n.a.k.e.d, you're already so wet it's like you pissed yourself!"

"I snickered because it's a shitty movie!" Aya exclaimed.

"Oh! You did not!!"

"Oh! I did!"

"… I'm going back to sleep." Tyson said, glaring at her. "He, he."

"… really? Really?"

"Aah, it's too early," he sighed, plummeting back onto the chair. "Let's bury the hatchet for now."

"The movie sounds nice, though." Aya said. "We haven't gone out on a date for like a month… god, we're turning into those couples that live by the routines."

"Can you really call our lives a routine? Like, really?" Tyson said, narrowing his eyes.

"…"

"Let's recount the last week—"

"Let's not." Aya interrupted. If he mentions one more time about me egging those kids, I might actually die of shame… "Oh right, mom called me. She invited us over for a dinner. Apparently her sister and some of dad's family will be coming over too."

"… I don't have a suit…"

"Wait, won't you be teaching?! Why the hell didn't you buy one?!" Aya exclaimed.

"They're so expensive though!! One suit equals three months of electric bills!"

"Holy shit! What the hell?!"

"I know! It's like these f.u.c.kers think everyone's swimming in money!" Tyson exclaimed, sighing. "F.u.c.k.i.n.g money… we also have to upgrade both our GPUs, fix that f.u.c.k.i.n.g shower finally, save up for the numerous incoming birthdays, get your mom a gift… aah. You're cute enough. I know of a strip club nearby. What do you say?"

"What do you mean I'm cute enough?" Aya said, arching her brow.

"… ah. So that's the part you have the problem with."

"I see. We haven't even gone out for a year, and you've already grown tired of my looks. I see…" Aya said, faking a downcast expression.

"… I'm actually amazed you said that with a straight face," Tyson said, arching his brows in surprise. "It's you who's growing tired of me."

"… right. That's why we also need to fix that bed."

"Oh, right! The bed! F.u.c.k, I totally forgot about that. It's like we're sleeping on the floor. What the hell did we do to that thing?" Tyson said.

"What didn't we do?" Aya scoffed as she glanced into the bedroom. "Remember that time we thought the bowling ball would bounce off?"

"… I meant s.e.x-wise. S.e.x-wise woman!"

"… it is s.e.x-wise."

"It's not." Tyson denied it.

"What do you mean it's not? You ended up fingering that thing more than me!" Aya exclaimed.

"… why do you make it sound so f.u.c.k.i.n.g dirty?!" Tyson exclaimed. "Didn't we go to the bowling alley that night?! Of course I fingered it!! How else would I have thrown it?!"

"Tche. I can't believe my v.a.g.i.n.a is jealous of a f.u.c.k.i.n.g ball. Goddammit."

"It's—" Tyson's words were interrupted by the ring bell. Sighing, he glanced at Aya who rolled her eyes as she got up.

"Fine, fine."

She walked over to the doors and slowly unlocked them and opened. On the other side was a familiar, elderly couple smiling lightly at her; the only thing she knew about the two was that their last name was Rickson and that they lived in the apartment upstairs.

"You two are lively this morning as well!" the old granny exclaimed happily as she suddenly handed over a small container.

"Mrs. Rickson, you shouldn't have—" Aya said, smiling apologetically.

"Ah, nonsense!" the old man exclaimed. "You two are a sight for these sore eyes. Last night, that young bastard won me 10$!"

"Eh, how?" Aya asked.

"Ah, we had a bet," the old granny explained. "Whether you'd punch him, or play with him until he grew tired."

"…" Aya stared blankly at the two. We have to stop closing our f.u.c.k.i.n.g windows!!

"Ha ha, don't be so shocked," the old man said. "The entire complex is always betting on you two. How long will they go on without fighting? How long will the fight last? Will they do it once or twice after fighting? It's been one of the liveliest summers in this damned place ever since you moved in, ha ha ha!" Don't say such embarrassing f.u.c.k.i.n.g things while laughing!! Good god… what did that bastard turn me into?! We're a freaking laughing stock!

"Ah, leave her alone Jim," the old granny punched the old man lightly as she chuckled. "Don't worry sweetie. We'll be more discrete." … Aya said nothing, still blankly staring at the two. "Well, we have to get going! Good luck to you two! Grant us some grandchildren soon, he he~~"

"…"

Aya watched as the elderly duo laughed and went downstairs before she closed the door, her eyes wide open. She stormed back into the kitchen and saw Tyson intently staring at the screen where some cartoon was playing. He really looked like a kid for a moment there.

"Hey," she brought him back from the daze. "Do you know what people have been doing behind our backs?"

"You mean the bets?" Tyson mumbled casually.

"They were bett—wait, you f.u.c.k.i.n.g knew?!" Aya exclaimed.

"Ah, of course I knew. You'd have to be an idiot not to find out," Tyson snickered. "Tche, those bastards shooed me away when I asked them if I could join in. Ah, is that granny's breakfast?! Gimme, I'm starving!" Tyson practically stole the container from Aya's hand before opening it; a sweet whiff of bacon and eggs invaded his nostrils. His eyes sparkled as he saw a small cup of jam nearby. "Homemade!! Damn, I'll have to tell that old hag she's beautiful the next time I see her!"

"… why didn't you tell me?" Aya sat down, weak in knees. She was simply too tired to scream and asked softly instead.

"I thought you knew."

"… dude, they were betting on whether we'd do it twice or once after fighting! It sounds like they know every time we have s.e.x…"

"Eh, not every time," Tyson said nonchalantly. "They can't possibly know about all those public exploits of ours."

"Hah, yeah, we're really goddamn awesome—no, wait, don't change the subject! We need to move. Preferably to another country." Aya said. "Are your kidneys healthy?"

"… don't look at me like some sort of a disposable animal!!"

"… tche. Fine. Ah, whatever. If you don't mind it, then why should I? Give me some of that. I'm starving."

"Shouldn't you be getting ready to go to classes?"

"F.u.c.k that! Give me!"

"Tche. Damn glutton."

"… they're healthy enough, right?"

"Oi!! Didn't you say kidneys?! What the hell are you looking at my balls for?!"

"No reason…"

"Just eat you damn demon…"

The husband and wife pair from next door were currently on their floor, laughing madly as they listened to the two. Before the minute was over, both got onto their phones and quickly reported. And thus, the news about the two spread throughout the entire complex. Promptly titled 'Aya and Ty's Antics', it basically replaced morning newspapers for people from the complex. A new, bright day had finally begun.